Xiaosheng is not talented, and he has written a modern poem that cannot be leveled, and I hope that

Overall, the sentences are fairly smooth.

But as a poem, there is a fatal problem, that is, there is no rhyme. If it doesn't rhyme, it can't be called poetry.

In addition, between the lines, there are many inconsistencies:

The meaning of the first couplet is that you take a fancy to others, but they don't take you seriously. Unrequited love.

The first sentence of the second couplet uses the sentence "the fallen leaves return to the roots", and the fallen leaves return to the roots, which is a metaphor for the people who live in other places to always return to their hometowns.

Half city and half summer" is not easy to understand. Maybe it's to fight against one person and one lamp in the next sentence, deliberately created? And the word "Allure" in the next sentence is also inappropriate, this word comes from Li Guinian's "There is a Beautiful Woman in the North" in the Han Dynasty:

There are beautiful women in the north, peerless and independent, laughing at the city, and then laughing at the country's ......After "Alluring the city and the country", it is used as a metaphor for the beauty of women's appearance. You use it here, I don't know how to understand it, can you drink it alone, and you can fall into the city?

Further down: I fell asleep last night and was drunk, and tonight I listened to the rain and broke my spirits. When the night and the night agree to fight against each other, they commit the disease of "gassho". The meaning was repeated. Broken Seven Spirits? Is it too scary, a little too much.

What do you want when you meet the vast sea of people", the meaning is clear, but the expression is obviously blunt, and I personally think that it is not as natural as "what to ask for when the sea of people meet".

The original meaning of the word "flowing water" is a metaphor for smooth movements, and I don't know what it has to do with the later "period Mo Nian". The rain falls in all directions, and the word "quartet" is also not carefully crafted. The concept is too broad to seem to reach you.

The word "with" in the concluding sentence is also not used well, so it is better to use the word "to".

The refining of words and refining words in the poem is very important, first of all, the words should be used to convey the meaning, to be appropriate, and not to be used indiscriminately by feeling; Secondly, taboo creation should be easy for those who read it to understand.

The rhetoric is gorgeous I can only see that you have insomnia and others feel very messy The meaning of the first two sentences is probably that I would have lit up the moon with my heart But the bright moon shines on the ditch Three or four sentences It is probably a drop of water and a stone to wear It is wrong You express the wrong love No matter how much you pay You can't melt that heart Five or six sentences I don't understand Seven or eight sentences The meaning is probably to express that last night was good but tonight is not good, ninety or two sentences A little helpless even if the dream is not comfortable to wake up The last two sentences This situation and this scene are difficult to sleep Are you upset?

Whether he can be classified as a poem is still a huge question. Even if it can, it should belong to the limerick all the way. Because you write very casually. It's not about rhythm and peace. Therefore, no matter how gorgeous the resignation is, it can only be used as an essay.

The writing is good, quite ancient, Chinese style

One or two sentences are not good, it feels too modern, you and mine. The sense of disobedience is slightly heavier.

Tossing and turning with the dawn, this dawn, it's not your name, right? I have a classmate who loves to make poems, so it's called Tianming, wouldn't it be you?

I won't say much about the good places, and some immature suggestions are encouraged by you.

"Freedom" is free in the name, the content should not be published, and the repetition of the question is straightforward. It should be used in the creation to enhance the "image" and sublimate the ideological realm.

Pearl: Did you know that shells can live for thousands of years? It's poetry, but it's also common sense.

The connotation of "Another Layer of Waves" is unclear, the meaning is uncertain, and some don't know why.

Good division. Such talents are rare.

Dark plum whispers flowers, I have no culture, lying on the branches and hating the bottom. I have a very low IQ, and I am lying like water in the distance, and I want to ask who I am. A big stupid donkey has a green shore, I am a donkey, the shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green.

Our teacher said, "If you write a poem that others can't understand, that's a good poem!" Ling's poetry is very literary, but the meaning is insufficient, there should be a spiritual sustenance behind the poem. . . Oh, I don't know much, if you are offended, forgive me!!

Worship ......

It's okay for me to write ancient poems, but I really can't write modern poems!!