Personal Relationship Problems 5, Personal Relationship Problems

First of all, make it clear that there is a difference between the definitions of liking and loving. Like a person from the appearance, personality and other reasons. Loving someone is responsible, and in my own opinion, loving someone is more inclined to get married, have children, experience together, and bear together as the result, but the process is bitter and bitter.

Based on what you said, the first thing to make sure is that you don't hate her at first, and that she is very interested in you, revealing that she likes you, and that you have acquiesced in this liking in an almost self-absorbed subconscious. From what you inquired about, it shows that she herself has talked to many boyfriends, but she is "experienced". It is generally known that the psychological age maturity of girls is earlier than that of boys, and girls who have experienced more things are even more prominent in this aspect, and they can see through it more than the current boys, so you are now a good choice for such a girl.

Asking for help in your problems also shows that you are an emotional person, because this kind of emotion affects you a lot, and I myself am such a person, but now you have to look at it from a rational point of view. Do you now confirm that you like it or love it? If you like it, will you be able to rise to the level of love in the next few years and get married?

If it's love now, then what you need now is the girl's thoughts, is she still willing to walk down with you until she enters the marriage hall? So you want your girlfriend to make a good conversation.

I don't think girls have a father, or they have always lacked fatherly love, right? Or a single parent? Girls are extremely insecure and distrustful of the people around them.

I can only tell you very honestly, first of all, she has to love you very much, you can have a glimmer of hope to save her, if she doesn't realize her problem and doesn't want to change, then give up. When she kept searching for people around her to chat, first of all, she was lonely and lonely in her heart, but she closed her heart tightly and didn't let others enter. I don't think she loves you, and she's still looking for the man who can give him all the security.

You say, give you a "reason to choose". In fact, in the world of feelings, there is no need for reasons to choose. You may be asking questions here, maybe just hoping that we will give you a reason, but I am afraid that you have already made up your mind in your heart.

Reading between the lines of you, I guess you decided to give up. You talk about her many shortcomings, but you don't mention her strengths; You say you "don't like her at all"; You say you're afraid of hurting yourself, but you don't say if you're going to hurt her. It can be seen that you don't love her so much, so I'll give you a reason to give up.

Things are constantly changing, and things will continue to change in the future, maybe your thoughts today are different from yesterday, and tomorrow's thoughts will be different from today.

Don't rush to conclusions, you're still young, let's have a relationship first...

Let it be, it's not reliable!!

In a word: Do you think you have what it takes to control her? Think for yourself.

In the details and habits of life, integrate communication into daily life, be good at adjusting your mentality, and look at communication with a more peaceful emotion, so that communication can achieve ideal results.

1. Quarrels can be a means of communication, but they must be measured.

It is often said that quarrels are the salt of life, of course, this refers to the proper use of materials, no matter how good the material is, you can't put too much salt, otherwise it will still be difficult to swallow. In the process of quarreling, you can get something that both parties are not aware of on some issues, but often this communication is based on mutual harm, and the purpose of communication may be achieved, but the scars are also indirectly left. Sometimes, girls want boys to open up to themselves and complain that boys are not willing to communicate with them, but in fact, they don't provide a good environment for boys to open their hearts, think about it, isn't it?

2. Feelings do not automatically make two people reach the realm of tacit understanding, and there must be consumption and addition.

Feelings are things that can be consumed and reduced, if you can't consciously understand and get closer to each other in every time you get along, and can't continue to add capital to it, then in the end it may be like a raging bonfire, slowly turning into ashes. Moreover, the accumulation of emotions and tacit understanding are also like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat, if you cultivate carefully, you will flourish, if you give up care, it will gradually wither, either a virtuous circle, or a vicious circle.

Respect and listen to each other's wishes and cultivate common hobbies. There must be a proper intersection between two people, even if they have different personalities and different hobbies, they must have something in common in a certain aspect, and there are some common topics that can be communicated and skilled.

3. Paying too much attention to the independence of the individual, the result is that the hearts of two people are gradually estranged.

Communication should be the subjective will of two people, is a side of each other's rights and obligations in love, both parties need to have a relatively equal initiative, otherwise one-sided communication can only be wishful thinking, and it will never be possible to achieve the desired effect. Some people attach great importance to their own personality, such as introverted, cautious and conservative people, who are not accustomed to the way of communication at any time, and are resistant to the cheerfulness and liveliness of the other party, and feel that if they follow the requirements of the other party, it is a distortion and change of their own personality, and it is difficult to achieve the state that the other party strives to achieve can open their hearts. This is the reason why many people affect communication because of personality incoordination, different personality traits cause different expectations for communication methods, and different communication styles exacerbate the probability of conflicts and misunderstandings between two people.

4. Smooth communication must be based on equality, and there is no possibility of unity without respect.

Equality is the basis of all normal interactions, and any emotional relationship that loses the premise of equality cannot obtain normal communication methods and communication effects.

It's just that if you have a good feeling unilaterally, it must be a little bit of a chat, because the initiative is no longer on your side, but passively waiting for the other party.

So it's still necessary to see if the other party has a good impression of themselves, if you have a good impression, then you can definitely still give it a try, if you don't have a good impression, it's good to find someone else, after all, the other party is not hanging on to the subject, so you might as well choose someone else.

So now the key is to see if the other party has a good impression and willingness first, but from the subject's point of view, in fact, I don't feel anything, or even relatively cold, so basically the chance is still not big, unless you can talk about the topics that the other party is more interested in, otherwise this status quo will definitely be maintained.

So the best choice is to look at the other party's thoughts first, if it is really not interesting to yourself, then this unilateral pursuit is good enough.

I've been in this situation, and from my point of view, I'm the girl who doesn't reply to each other's messages, and I'll give you a few of my thoughts.

1.A certain sentence on the other side of the other side is very different from my concept, and after repeated temptations, I found that this concept is deeply rooted and there is no possibility of change.

2.With new and more interesting goals.

3.I'm busy with work, study, or girlfriends.

4.There are certain traits that this person is particularly annoying, such as arrogance, love to show off, big talking, etc.

5.I don't want to find someone to fall in love at all, it's just a pastime when I'm bored, and when I find that the other party has more intentions or I can't cope with it, I still don't want to continue.

It only represents a personal point of view and may not be accurate, but if you encounter this situation, there is basically no need to insist on it, just change the goal!

From a girl's point of view, I'm the kind of person you say. Now that you're thinking about it, I feel like there's no need to maintain it.

First, learn to formalize contradictions. Many people encounter problems emotionally, the first thing is to start to escape, dare not face, or do not know how to solve it, escape the problem and avoid the problem, so we must learn to solve the contradiction, although anything will produce qualitative changes when accumulating to a certain amount, it is difficult for us to control, but we can properly deal with the problems that occur to us. Clause.

Second, the framework contention of the outbreak of contradictions. To be precise, it should be a struggle for the initiative, and there will be an inertia, that is, in the quarrel, the more inseparable a problem, and all of them revolve around a problem, and then the war will continue to spread endlessly, and the relationship between the two sides will only get better when the emotional momentum slowly weakens. Third, find the root cause of the contradiction.

In love life, there are often quarrels, or cold wars, even if they reconcile once, but two people can't find their own faults at all so they quarrel from childhood to big quarrels, and even start quarreling because of trivial things, so find the root of the contradictions in the two people. Fourth, learn to compromise for each other, so that the relationship can last for a long time and get along harmoniously.