Why is it so hard to make true friends the older you get?

Do you want legendary friends, then I can tell you unequivocally that no.

What is difficult to share and share happiness is all.

When you're over 30, you'll understand that you have your own lovers, children, and families, and you can't give 100% to you.

You have to keep your own self-interest, and most of it.

Ask too much of your friends and you won't be able to make friends.

Hearts and eyes between friends, contradictions, minor injuries -- these are the most basic and between friends, and the best thing to say is to help each other, and to put it badly, it is to use each other.

When you're completely useless, you're not qualified to ask someone else to help you, and remember, it's better to ask for others than for yourself.

People are not perfect, not to mention how can there be friends that make you completely happy, hurry up and lower the requirements for friends, otherwise you will slowly lose friends.

In the end, I will feel very lonely.

As long as someone is willing to give 1% of themselves to share with you, then you should consider that person as a friend.

Smart people are people who make people think of you as good friends, not people who you think of as good friends.

It sounds a little ugly, but that's the reality.

This is because when people are people, their thinking will be mature.

There are more things to think about.

Everyone has their own ideas.

Because there are more and more things to think about.

Everyone will think that making friends is a very difficult thing, this is because adults nowadays often have a lot of interests when making friends, such as when getting along with a person, they will consider what kind of benefits the other party can bring to themselves, whether they can bring some help to their career and life, if not, they may not want to make friends with each other, in fact, this is very normal. If you want to find true friends, you must pay attention to the sense of boundary, some people may not have a sense of boundary in the process of getting along with friends, and always share some things with each other without scruples, in fact, maybe this relationship is not so pure, you must respect each other first, do not deliberately cater to please each other, and distinguish the boundary between life and work. At the same time, you must be sincere, and you must be sincere enough and patient enough with your friends, so that you can make the relationship between two people better.

If you want to judge whether this person is suitable to be your friend, many times you can't judge it from some superficial information, so you must understand it deeply. And these understandings can be determined through some small things in life, such as to understand whether the person is sloppy or delicate, whether he can take the corresponding responsibility, and can also get the person's evaluation through some other relatives and friends, so as to know whether the other party is a person worthy of deep friendship.

When making friends, you must pursue a common goal in life, so that friends can make this friendship last longer, because when making friends, you need two people to go on the road together, if the other party is completely different from your own path, it is difficult to continue, and it is useless to reluctantly. When making friends, you also need to have a sincere heart, and if you always have various purposes to make friends, it is impossible to make real friends.

Finally, when making friends, you must have a scale in your heart, don't be afraid to make good friends, and making friends with you still depends on fate.

People who say that it is difficult to make friends should have a very high status of friends, and they think that friends should be people who can accompany their souls. The fact that you make friends has always been sincere for sincere, and if you treat someone sincerely, you will slowly become your friend.

Because it is very difficult to do because it requires affection, sincerity, time and energy, and money, and it is necessary to appear in time when friends are in difficulty; When you meet a friend who you think is very good, you must care more about him, tolerate him, understand him, trust him, support him, and be by his side.

Because everyone has their own interests and hobbies, it is more difficult; First of all, we must understand each other's interests and hobbies, three views, and we must treat others sincerely.

The personalities of two people must be similar, and there will be a lot of topics in life, and everything should be courteous, do not covet each other's advantages, and do not take advantage of small advantages. You can think more about the other person.

The older you get, the more complicated your experiences become, and the harder it is to find friends who can understand each other.

At every stage of life, there are different friends;

A person's life trajectory can largely shape the person's three views, vision, and mentality;

The more full the past, the richer the experience, and the less able friends can understand each other;

Simple things are easy for people to understand, but complex pasts are difficult for people to resonate, even if they were once good friends;

As you get older, when you look through the address book, you will find that the friends you are familiar with have not been in touch for a long time;

No matter how much pain and joy you have, your friends can't empathize, they have their own circle of life, and you may not have intersection, two people, like planets, are running in their own orbits;

When chatting together, you can only rely on the bits and pieces of the past to maintain the warmth, but the past will always be finished, and the existing life, you are all very unfamiliar, so there is no topic, and gradually cut off contact, which is the normal result. Don't dwell on it.

The older you get, the heavier the burden on your shoulders and the inability to invest time and energy into maintaining relationships.

When a person leaves the ivory tower of the campus and walks into the workplace and marriage, he faces a major change, that is, the change of identity;

From being able to rely on your parents, to having to be self-reliant and earn money to support yourself and your family;

This shows that a person's dependence on friends has begun to decrease significantly, and his responsibility for the family has gradually increased;

And making friends requires investment costs, in your coming and going, gradually maintain and stabilize each other's friendship, but most middle-aged people do not have the time and energy, so loneliness and friendship are the inevitable result.

When you don't have a family, find friends who have a family, they are either taking care of young children, or busy earning money for the elderly, and the time that can really be "freed" for friendship becomes more and more limited, or even ignored directly;

After all, it is difficult to guarantee the survival and happiness of one's own family, so how can you have the energy to expect friendship to last forever?

The more I grow up, the more I feel that people's hearts are complicated, and it is difficult to make friends who know each other and trust each other.

When people grow up, they are in complex workplaces and social relationships, or they passively live with masks, reluctantly making themselves cheerful and social;

Either they take the initiative to achieve their own goals, pretending to be a good person, hiding their malice, and seeking fame and fortune by unscrupulous means;

People who have been deceived and hurt will naturally suffer losses, learn a lesson, know how to be careful in everything, and no longer be gullible, because it is difficult for people who grow up to know the roots;

You don't know what a terrible and dangerous past this warm and friendly person is before you;

You will not understand whether the person who calls you a friend will be jealous of you, criticize you behind your back, and belittle you;

Therefore, in order to avoid risks and make yourself more relaxed, the heart of making friends by yourself gradually became cold and numb.

1. Time and distance will make each other no longer intimate.

When we go to college, we will find that our good friends, who used to talk about everything, are becoming more and more distant. In high school, good friends who had to go to the toilet together, because they went their separate ways in college, because they no longer contacted each other for a long time, even if they had time to get together again, they would become no topic and lose the happiness and understanding they once had. Sobi.

Good friends are becoming more and more distant and less connected, mostly because they have full schedules and are too far apart from each other. Even if they are still close friends, they will have their own new social circles because of the distance, and they will only seek help from new friends around them when they encounter difficulties and problems. Each other is busy with life and maintaining a new circle of friends, so there is less contact and the relationship is weaker.

2. Differences in each other's values.

When we grow up, we are all busy with our own work, and we will find that people who used to have a good relationship will have a lot of different choices when they grow up, and there will be a gap between the industry and the speed of progress that everyone is exposed to, because the circle of interpersonal communication is different, the circumstances are different, and everyone's values have changed a lot in the day after tomorrow, and they are not the same as each other.

We also know that people with different values will become "not speculative", so the connection between the two people will become weaker and weaker. Just like Zhang Ailing's self and college friend Yan Ying, because of their respective developments, Zhang Ailing and her friends separated, although there were correspondence, but because of their different circumstances and different values, the friendship between the two people slowly became weaker and weaker.

3. The principle of making friends for adults - the friendship of gentlemen in the world.

We used to think that good friends should be inseparable, and we should talk about everything. As we grow up, we realize that friendships that need to be maintained from time to time are even less worthy of mention than those that we don't connect with often. True friendship is someone who doesn't connect often, but who can help you when you're in trouble.

The principle of making friends for adults is: "The friendship of gentlemen is as light as water". When we make friends, we should consider whether the character of our friends and the principles of dealing with the world are compatible with ourselves, but we don't need to be in touch from time to time, because this is the social norm, and it is the principle and way of adults to make friends.

We are born as human beings, so everyone is a lonely traveler on the road of life. Time will filter out those unimportant people and things, and eventually precipitate some beauty and preciousness. So as we grow older, we seem to have lost some friends, but in fact, we really see clearly who the people around us are the real friends.

When we just stepped into society and started to have our own work and life, many things changed.

We don't have as much time to get together and do all sorts of fun things together as we used to. Sometimes, different stages of life can also lead to differences in each other's feelings. For example, if one person gets married and has children, while the other person is still busy with work, the intersection between the two people may become less and less at this time, and they will gradually drift apart.

1.Different life stages As time goes by, we go through different stages of life, such as employment, marriage, childbirth, moving, and many more. These differences in life stages can lead to changes in common topics and lifestyles between us and our friends, which can lead to us drifting apart.

2.Everyone's outlook on life and values are different, and these beliefs may affect our attitude towards life and the way we behave. If our friends have different outlooks and values than we do, then we may be confused or disagree with their actions and attitudes, which can lead us to drift apart.

3.If we don't have common interests with our friends, then we may find that we communicate less and less with each other, eventually leading to our drifting apart.

4.Lack of communication and communicationNo matter what causes us to drift apart from our friends, the ultimate cause is a lack of communication and communication. If we don't communicate with our friends in a timely manner, then we may find that we are getting farther and farther away from each other.

5.Lack of communication and reduced interaction. Relationships between people require constant communication and interaction. If there is little in-depth communication between the two parties for a long time, the relationship will naturally be rusty. This requires both sides to work together, but is often overlooked.

In summary, the changes in feelings between people and the estrangement of friends are due to various aspects such as living environment, values, emotional changes, life pressure and lack of communication. This is an unavoidable phenomenon on the road of life. But important friendships are worth our continued investment.

I can make some comments on this issue based on some general views and experiences of the chaperone.

First of all, from a psychological point of view, people's circle of friends changes as they age. In the process of growing up, people's interests, values, lifestyles, etc. will change, and these changes will affect people's requirements and needs for friends. Often, friends in adolescence may be more about finding a sense of belonging and identity, and more about getting practical help and support as adults.

In addition, as social roles change and responsibilities increase, there is a greater need for friends who can understand and support them.

Secondly, from a sociological point of view, the social environment and cultural background in which people live can also have an impact on the requirements for friends. For example, in some cultures, family and kinship relationships are more important, while friendship is less important; In some professions or industries, people need to have strong networks and social skills, and friendships are even more important. As a result, people's demands on friends can be influenced by a variety of factors such as culture, society, and occupation.

Finally, from personal experience, I think there are several changes in what people ask of friends:

One is to demand greater stability and trust from friends. As people get older, they begin to understand that "not everyone can be your friend", and they will appreciate those who can maintain friendships for a long time, and who can give them help and encouragement at critical moments.

The second is to ask for better quality of friends. People may pay more attention to aspects such as their friend's character, personality and moral code, because this will affect the quality of their relationship with their friends and the degree of benefit. For example, people may be more willing to associate with friends who are upright, fair, kind, and helpful.

The third is to require friends to have a higher degree of commonality and recognition. People may be more inclined to surround themselves with friends who share their interests, values, and lifestyle, as it makes them feel more comfortable and at ease.

Fourth, it is more practical to ask for the support and help of friends. As the responsibilities and pressures of life increase, people may need more material, financial, and resource support from friends, such as in job hunting, health, family, etc. At the same time, they will be more willing to give practical help and support to their friends to help them tide over the difficulties.

In short, people's friend requests change with time and experience, but fundamentally, the role of friends is still to bring people a sense of belonging, support and comfort, and make life more colorful.