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When people reach middle age, they see more things and experience more things, and the definition of friends is different.
1. Seeing the truth in adversity.
People to middle age, from childhood to school, and then to the work era along the way, experienced wind and rain and also seen gorgeous rainbows, in this process, many people come and go, go and come, former classmates and friends because of betrayal are strangers, former confidants because of the feelings of help warmed up.
In the frustration experienced, because true friends reached out to help out of the darkness, these feelings set off the ruthlessness of other drinking and meat friends. Therefore, when people reach middle age, the friends around them are also a process of gradual screening because of the events they have experienced, and they can see clearly what is a true friend and what is a general friend, so there will be fewer and fewer friends, or even only one or two confidants.
Second, the family is more important.
By middle age, they have basically started a family. Hard work seems a bit tiring for middle-aged people. They prefer to look at their families, and going home after work to eat with their family seems to be the most important thing on their minds.
The feelings of their families, the joys and sorrows of their families are also in the first place in their hearts. Over time, there will be fewer and fewer friends.
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Have you ever heard a sentence, some friends are destined to only accompany you for a while, life is a person, people go to a person, the more people grow up, the fewer friends, that is, you are more mature and stable, you are also used to no longer noisy social, return to peace. It's not that there are no friends, it's just not so pure anymore.
When I was a child, I walked hand in hand and walked together. I don't think a lot, and everything is very simple.
When one day, you suddenly find that you don't seem to be able to handle interpersonal relationships and interpersonal communication, at this time, it may be a time for growth and transition.
At this time, we begin to be confused, we begin to be puzzled, we begin to doubt, and we begin to collapse.
We will meet all kinds of people, encounter a lot of things, or touch, but more hurt, at that time we always don't understand, why the best friend who was still laughing and talking the day before, suddenly turned his back to himself, why the person who was once better for a lifetime, suddenly disappeared from his list.
We begin to feel the darkness and horror of this world, we begin to see those unpleasant things, such sudden changes in the environment make us overwhelmed, we want to grow up quickly, we want to change ourselves, we want to become funny, we can be human.
However, we will still find that there are always people who are chattering behind their backs and guessing maliciously. I wonder if the problem is me again.
Later, we saw a lot of conspiracy theories, saw the world, saw human beings clearly, and finally, we were less heart-wrenching and heart-to-heart. I won't give everything out because a person has something to talk about, and I won't believe it easily, but I always crave those who are willing to come into my own way.
There are no fewer friends, but they are changing, in different circles, there are different ways of communicating, carefully adapting, we can't guarantee that there is no problem between friends, there are too many interests in the world, looking ahead and looking back.
There is a person who can talk, has no scruples, can cry and laugh, and is coquettish.
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When people reach middle age, they are running around because of life and family all day long, and the focus of life has been completely on life and family, paying less attention to themselves, and of course, paying less attention to friends. There is less connection with friends, and there are fewer and fewer natural friends.
But in fact, there will be a few very important friends in the heart, even if there is less contact, there is still a place for them in the heart, when they encounter difficulties or they encounter difficulties, they will still think of them, so the more people reach middle age, they can't say that they have no friends, but that they have less contact with friends, and on the surface, it seems that there are fewer friends, or even no friends, in fact, they still have the status of friends in their hearts, but they don't have time to maintain their feelings.
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Middle-aged people are relatively busy many times, and there are many things that need to be done by themselves, and they have many times when they don't have the heart and energy to deal with the relationship between friends, or to maintain the relationship between friends, which will cause fewer and fewer friends.
Everyone is an independent individual, always busy with their own affairs, and does not communicate with each other, which will naturally occur after a long time.
However, I personally think that you should communicate more with each other, which is very helpful for the relationship between yourself and them. As the saying goes, many friends have many paths, and it is still very necessary to have friends.
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Because people have less and less time after middle age, they will spend more and more time with their families, so they will have fewer and fewer friends.
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Because people are the busiest and most helpless when they reach middle age, when they open their eyes in the morning, they are surrounded by a bunch of people who need to rely on you, and they don't have time to maintain your friends at all.
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Busy with life, there is no time to take care of emotional maintenance, cautious about feelings, and unwilling to give sincerity easily, so the past friends are drifting apart, and there is no courage to make new true friends.
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When people reach middle age, why are there fewer and fewer true friends? A few "unspoken rules" that you don't understand
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1.This is a very normal state, objectively speaking, the average person to middle age, their own values and worldview are basically stereotyped, it is difficult to easily accept other people's views and suggestions, unless it is a professional field, it is difficult to find like-minded friends during this period, even if there is not a lot of time or opportunity to do further, strengthen the bond between each other, and at this age are basically a family, especially after having children, there are more and more things in life, and the pace is getting faster and faster, The pressure is getting bigger and bigger, the old and the young, the supremacy of interests is the truth, so slowly people will become more and more realistic, no longer like the song sings: ''Friends go together for a lifetime, those days, no more, a sentence for a lifetime, a lifetime of love A glass of wine, friends have never been lonely, a friend, you will understand, there are still injuries, there is pain, and you have to go There is also me, a word for a lifetime, a lifetime of love A glass of wine is strange to have friends...
2.Many middle-aged people will also feel that it is better to improve themselves with the effort and energy of accompanying the so-called friends, study more after work, take the qualification certificate, or improve the academic qualifications. This is the guarantee of being invincible in the future, at least in today's current competition is so incandescent today, now the competition in first-tier cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou is extremely fierce, take Shanghai as an example: if you want your next generation to be able to take the college entrance examination in Shanghai and enjoy the high-quality educational resources here, then you must prepare well from the moment the child is born, see if your academic qualifications are up to standard, and whether the points meet 120 points, otherwise you will not even have the qualifications to enter; If you want to shoot Shanghai cards, you also have to see whether your social security, taxes, residence permits, etc. meet the standards, and the 4% winning rate is enough to make people desperate, so in the adult world, you want to climb up, which one does not need to fight hard to compete?
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The more middle-aged a person is, the fewer friends they will become.
I believe that many people have had such a profound experience.
Why is that?
In fact, the main reasons behind it are the following:
1. There is no time and energy to maintain friendships.
Any relationship needs to be carefully maintained, and if there is no time and energy to maintain it, it is destined to become estranged.
If you don't contact each other for a long time, the two sides will have less common language, and even fewer common experiences, and naturally, you won't be able to find a topic.
If you haven't seen each other for too long, you will meet occasionally, and the two sides will have a simple greeting, but they don't know what to say.
After a brief chat about previous experiences and topics, I was suddenly so embarrassed that I had nothing to say.
No matter how good the relationship between two people is, when they don't see each other for a long time, they will gradually become strangers.
Even lovers, if they can't see each other often, their relationship will fade.
Like why so many long-distance relationships end up apart!
It's because you can't keep in touch often, it's hard to keep your feelings, and it's only going to become more and more insensitive.
Relationships, most of the time, are based on having shared experiences.
When shared experiences become less and less, feelings fade.
After the relationship fades, the more you don't want to connect, and then the more strange you become, and in the end there is not much difference between you and strangers.
When people reach middle age, they have to make money to support their families, and they don't have much time and energy to maintain some relationships, so naturally, there are fewer and fewer friends around them.
2. The gap between each other is getting bigger and bigger, and I'm embarrassed to meet.
When it comes to reading, it seems that everyone is at the same starting point.
Even if there is a gap, everyone can ignore it calmly, feeling that with their own efforts, they can catch up later.
But after middle age, after years of social struggle.
The gap between people is getting bigger and bigger.
Some of the people I used to know became big bosses, some achieved economic freedom, and some had a bumper harvest in their careers and families.
If by this time, I can't be on the same level as them, and I'm embarrassed to show up.
In fact, everyone cares about the gap between them.
If you don't mix well, you're always afraid of losing face.
In real life, most people feel that they are not good enough, so they have chosen to disappear.
When a person chooses to disappear, he will naturally have fewer and fewer friends around him.
3. More and more bearish.
When you're younger, you think the more friends you have, the better.
But after middle age, when you experience more things, you will see through the essence of many relationships.
Especially after experiencing some troughs, it is even more profound.
So, I began to re-examine the relationships around me.
Some unimportant relationships are gradually abandoned, and some unimportant gatherings are gradually gone.
Keep only a few relationships that you think are more important.
The rest is almost a show, and there are not many relationships that are really willing to invest.
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I can't say the same, after all, there are many friends who have money and leisure.
Why do you have fewer friends?
1.Horses of courses. Like-minded friends in the past have shifted their interests over time, their ambitions have changed, their living environments have changed, and their common topics have become less and less.
2.Everyone has their own business. There are old and young, the pressure of survival is great, and there are wives and children who are worried, and slowly there will be less contact.
3.There is a lot of competition in the workplace, and it seems that people get together every day to talk and laugh, but in fact, there are a lot of intrigues.
4.There are also those who socialize a lot. often eats and drinks together, and calls brothers and sisters, but in fact, it is just a relationship of interest. If you can't use it, it doesn't matter. Everyone knows this, so they don't want to be friends at all.
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People become more and more pragmatic after middle age.
There are some friends who are slowly moving away, this kind of going away does not mean that they will no longer contact for a lifetime, but only when there is no matter, no longer contact when there is no problem, and if there is a difficulty, call ** to help. Friends slowly precipitated into this, friends are like old wine, the longer it grows, the more flavorful it is.
When you are old, when you have any difficulties, you can call a friend, and people will help if they say they will help. On weekdays, everyone can't see each other, after all, friends have their friends' development paths, and they also have their own objective future, in this case, it is natural that they have fewer and fewer friends.
However, we will find that people have fewer and fewer middle-aged friends, and they are still in a controllable state, which does not mean that there are fewer and fewer friends, but only because of some special or uncontrollable reasons that lead to fewer and fewer friends.
At the same time, there are not as many contacts between these friends as before, but if one day we suddenly find that we have no friends and are surrounded by enemies, then we should find a psychiatrist to communicate and guide them as soon as possible, because this situation is really estimated to be our own problem.
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Life stress.
Why do people have fewer and fewer friends when they reach middle age, or even no friends? Because after people reach middle age, everyone tends to mature, has wives and children, and has responsibilities and responsibilities.
Everyone just wants to work hard to earn money and make their families live a better life, how can they have so much time to go to the wind and snow, to make friends and talk? There are many friends when you are young, and there are many friends in middle age, and the person who can go to the end together is the person who is really worth befriending.
In addition, a middle-aged person is basically immersed in taking care of the baby, doing housework, and trivial things all day long, and his body falls into a state of exhaustion. Housing and car loans, there are old and young, so many people, after reaching middle age, would rather stay at home, which is safe and affordable, for socializing, no time, no heart, no power.
Relationship of interest. Now in society, when people reach middle age, their careers are basically in a period of decline, and at this time, those who originally relied on you to make money will gradually get rid of their dependence on you. And you can't provide value to the other person, so these people will naturally leave.
The most basic principle of interpersonal communication is value communication. When the value of your work begins to decline, it is natural for some people to leave you.
For the departure of these people, there is no need to be too entangled and sad, this is a normal phenomenon, everyone will encounter it, and it cannot be avoided. Besides, these friends who come for value are not friends in the true sense of the word.
Social tiredness. When people reach middle age, most people have seen through life, experienced many vicissitudes, and also seen some friends around them clearly, and know the warmth and coldness of the world.
The car and horses in front of the door are sparse, and it is difficult to come to the cold fragrance and butterflies. After people reach middle age, making money and taking care of their families is the main theme of life! And friends in society are basically icing on the cake, ** are charcoal in the snow?
When people reach middle age, coupled with taking care of their families every day, they eventually become more and more tired of contacting friends, feeling that there are so many friends, in fact, there is no real meaning, and it is enough to have one or two sincere friends to stay around.
Objective reality. In today's economy and society, interests are paramount, in reality, knowing the roots, common youth, never involving interests, as long as there is something to say, how dare you have a lot of friends? How can you expect a lot?
After middle age, you will find that all friends, after removing the interests, there are really few worth paying attention to, and it is the luck of a lifetime to have three or two.
Therefore, in the current society, people reach middle age, fewer and fewer friends, this is a normal phenomenon, it is the situation that most ordinary people have to face after entering middle age, there is no need to be too sad, and not too sad, life has someone to come, someone to leave, it is the norm.
When people reach middle age, take care of themselves and their families, this is the most important thing.
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