What hilarious jokes do you know? What hilarious jokes do you have

One day, an interviewer asked the three of them who was the poorest? A woman said: I eat pickles and radishes every day for dinner, and I haven't even bought cosmetics.

A man rolled his eyes and said, "It's good to eat what you have, I can't even eat a bowl of rice in a day, and I don't even have poop." The second man said with a bitter face

I'm the poorest, he doesn't pull, I'm generally hungry!

I had just returned home from a business trip the night before, and when I got home, I saw my dad sitting on the sofa drunk! When my father saw me coming back, he asked, "Alas!

When did you get back? I said, "I came back last night."

Dad came and said, "Coming back from the bowl?" Then why don't you come back from the basin? ”

Corn said to the sunflowers, "Participate in less outdoor activities, the ultraviolet rays are too strong, and you have freckles all over your face." Sunflower said angrily to the corn: "Hmph, you are tightly wrapped, but at first glance, it is a serious lack of calcium, not to mention the yellow hair, and the teeth are all grown on the face!" ”

There is an older young man in our village, and I don't know why he just can't find a girlfriend! His mother was going crazy about him. Yesterday his parents said to him:

Son, it's not okay to never find a girlfriend! He said, "No one looks down on me, what can I do!"

His mother said, "I have a way, it will work, but I don't know if you can put it down?" He asked

What's the solution? Tell me about it! "said

If you really can't do it, you can go to the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau and squat and wait for those who have just divorced! ”

The two boys were bruised and swollen from the fight on the court, and the head teacher pointed to the ants on the lawn and asked, "What do you think is the difference between you and them?" A classmate's brain turned, "Teacher, I know, my classmates and I are not united like ants, and we have discredited the class, we apologize to you, and we will never do it again in the future" After speaking, the two apologized to each other and made peace. "Wrong!

The head teacher angrily walked towards the ant and stepped on it hard, "See? It's as easy for me to step on you guys as I am to step on them! ”

My friend's child found his father's diary and found his first love, he didn't tell his mother, but replaced QQ with her first love's **, added his father, always looking for his dad to say that he was in financial difficulties, what to do, he cheated more than a year of pocket money, if it wasn't for his mobile phone was broken, his dad took it to repair with him, his dad would never find out, the child was miserable at that time.

My cousin has been on a blind date many times, but he just hasn't met anyone he likes. Once, one of my best friends came to my house to play, and my cousin happened to be there at the time. When we were eating, my girlfriend blindly ate meat and vegetables, and she didn't look like a lady at all.

At that time, I said to her, "Can't you be more reserved?" Why do you always look like a gentleman?

Who will dare to marry you in the future! Before I could finish my sentence, my cousin's face suddenly flushed, and he said to me, "Cousin, you will be pretentious."

I just like your girlfriend's type. After saying that, my cousin turned his face to my best friend and said, "Why don't we become brothers?" ”

When the class teacher was about to punish him, he blurted out: Teacher, you listen to my quibbles, Teacher: Shut up for me.

A patient came to a psychiatrist.

Patient: I've always felt like I'm a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. Since when?

Patient: From when I was a bird.

2) A doctor in a neurological hospital asked a patient: What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?

The doctor listened: Uh-huh, it's normal.

The doctor asked, "What would happen if I cut off your other ear again?"

The doctor is starting to get nervous, how can he not see it?

Newborn laughter can be heard in the hospital, and the doctors, strangely, break the clenched fists of the newborn baby. Saw a pill. At this time, the baby spoke: Damn, it is not so easy to kill me.

A young man and woman were on a date in the park, and the girl especially wanted to fart, and she thought of a way:

F: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call?

M: I haven't heard of it.

F: I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) valley (sound from the mouth).

After learning a few times, the time to put it has been played.

F: Did you hear me? //...

M: The fart was too loud to hear.

Is Zhao Ye in the mouth upstairs a woman?