What are some math jokes you know?

After the final exam, Xiao Ming returned home and said to his parents: "Mom, Dad, this time I have 100 points old in two subjects." My parents were very happy when they heard this.

Xiao Ming said again: "It's two doors that add up to 100 points." When my father heard this, he was furious, and he raised his hand to beat, but his mother persuaded him:

Even if it is 40 points in mathematics, it should be 60 points in Chinese, and at least one of them is passed? At this time, Xiao Ming whispered: "Mom, it's not that kind of algorithm!"

It is 10 points for Chinese and 0 points for mathematics, and together it is 100 points. ”

In the math class, Ms. Fang asked Ah Xi, "What is the difference between half and eight-sixteenth?" "No.

Teacher Fang said, "Think about it, if you were to choose half an orange and eight pieces of one-sixteenth orange, which one would you want?" "Ahh

I must be half. "Why? "The oranges have lost a lot of orange juice by the time they are divided into sixteenths, don't you say, teacher?" ”

Tsai Tsai happily came back from school and asked his mother, "Where's Dad?" Seeing the excitement of the boy, the mother asked strangely

Dad is at home, what are you looking for Dad to do? "I asked my dad for five dimes. "Why?

Mom asked. "Before the math test, my father said to me, 'If you score 100 points, give me 1 yuan, and 80 points will give me 8 jiao.' Today, I scored 45 points in math.

Tsai said. Mom was surprised and asked, "What!

45 points in math? Tsai said proudly, "Yes, math has to round up to 5, so Dad has to pay 5 dimes." ”

In one apartment lived physicists, engineers and mathematicians. One day the apartment was on fire, the physicist began to think about the flames, the engineer ran out of the room, the mathematician turned on the faucet and said, "Great, the solution exists!" , just stay in the room and continue to work.

Mr. Private School asked the student to memorize pi, but the student couldn't remember it, Mr. was very annoyed, angrily ran to the mountain temple, found the presiding monk to drink, and threatened before leaving: When I come back, I can't recite it and be careful to hit the palm! The students had no choice but to continue to memorize, and slowly figured out some ways to convert the number of pi into words, which is interesting and easy to remember.

159 26 535 897 932 384 626……A temple on the top of the mountain, a pot of wine, Erle, bitter and bitter, eat wine, kill Er, kill Er, can't kill, happy and happy......After Mr. came back, everyone scrambled to recite it to him, and Mr. looked confused! How come you know it all and are still very skilled?

In the second grade math class, there is a problem, the teacher takes the students to a spring outing, a total of 26 people, 8 people in each car, can 3 cars sit down? One student said, "Teacher, you can sit down if you squeeze it."

What is the square root of 16 in the high school entrance examination? This question is not difficult, but there are pitfalls. The correct answer is plus or minus 2, but one math teacher laughed at the class our math teacher used to take and said:

Why do all the children in your class write plus or minus two? Shouldn't it be plus or minus 4? And then a lot of teachers laughed, and he asked what he was laughing at?

Our teacher didn't want to debunk him to save face, so a few months later, he went for a walk with another teacher and he talked about it again. Then another teacher said, "Isn't root number 16 just 4?"

Isn't the square root of 4 plus or minus 2? That's right! As a result, the teacher didn't speak, probably trying to find a crack in the ground to get into.

Rectangle, square, triangle and circle agree to meet the next day Only the triangle did not arrive the next day So there was such a situation: congruent triangle [laughing and crying].

The arithmetic teacher said, there are 10 pears, I ate 6 of them, how many are left, and one of the greedy people said, I ate the rest.

Minmin: "7+3=10, how do you write 7+3=1?" Baby: "It's just that the 0 at the end is not written!" Minmin: "That's wrong! The baby said, "Doesn't 0 mean nothing?" ”

One seminar that caught my eye was the "Fluid Dynamics" seminar, and the location of the seminar was a little strange, not in the department but in some strange place, I don't know if it was a restaurant or a bar.

In order for us to understand the cuboid and the cube, the teacher drew an oblique cuboid on the blackboard, and he asked us if this was a cube, and we said no, and he asked us if it was a cuboid, and we said no, and he asked, what is this all of us, a parallelogram.

There is such a math problem:

There was an old man who was walking on the road, and he had ten crutches in his hand, and each crutch had ten barbs, and in each of them there were ten baskets, and in each basket there were ten small birds. Q: How many birds does the old man have?

At first glance, there seems nothing wrong with it.

But in the end, it was calculated that there were a total of 100,000 birds, and if it was calculated according to 100 grams per bird, it would be 10,000,000 grams, that is, 10,000 kilograms, that is, ten tons. That's still not counting the net weight of anything else.

In other words, an old man was still walking there slowly with more than a dozen tons of things in his hand. Terrifying!!

The arithmetic teacher said, "There are 10 pears here, and 6 have been eaten, how many are left?" One of the gluttonous students replied, "I think I'll eat the rest as well." ”

When my mother asked Xiao Ming how he did in the exam, Xiao Ming said: "I forgot how much 3x7 is equal to in the math test, so I wrote an 18 regardless of 3721." ”。

Points have no size: then we can compare a solid circle with a diameter of 10 meters with a solid circle with a diameter of one meter (think of these two circles as two points), why do I think the first point is a little bigger?

There is only one straight line between two points: on that circle with a diameter of 10 meters, I can find an infinite number of points, and then connect those points, then there is an infinite number of half-points, so there are infinite lines, so how many lines between the two points are completely dependent on the size of the line and the point, if the line is also 10 meters wide, then there is one line, and if the line I envision can be reduced wirelessly, then there will be an infinite number of lines.

The new math teacher teaches "10+5...... in classThe classmates laughed, the teacher was puzzled, asked the students, and the students replied: Shi Jiawu is sitting in our classroom.

It's not wrong Minmin: "7+3=10, how do you write 7+3=1?" Baby: "It's just that the 0 at the end is not written!" Minmin: "That's wrong! The baby said, "Doesn't 0 mean nothing?" ”

Give a gift to the math teacher, and the teacher doesn't want it anyway. I said helplessly: Root number two, take it. The teacher took it.

It means just that.

Teacher:"Your IQ is simply negative! " "Teacher, what about you? " "Yours are hundreds of times better! "