It s strange and depressed today, who can tell you a joke that you haven t heard before

I'm so depressed that I can't speak.

You've heard the jokes of the gods.

Three demons pleaded to God: One day they met God while shopping! They said to God that they had all died miserably, and they wanted to let them go to heaven!

God reluctantly said that there were now too many occupants of heaven and it was full. But now there is still a spot! Say, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven!

So, the first ghost began to say ......I was a cleaner when I was alive. It's hard work! From morning to night!

One day, I was cleaning glass outside a building! It's the kind of high-altitude dangerous work that hangs outside! On the 30th floor!

Suddenly, my foot slipped and I fell! I thought, it's over! I'm going to die!

But survival instincts keep me scratching unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony, on the 13th floor. I thought, saved!

So I wanted to climb up after I had recovered my strength! Suddenly, someone grabbed my hand, and I fell down again! I thought, I'm really done now!

However, my life should not be decided, there is a tent under me to catch me, I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my previous life! I want to wait for the strength to go down. Unbeknownst to me, a refrigerator fell from above and smashed me to death!

The second ghost said ......I was a clerk when I was alive. Everything is fine, I have a wife and it's beautiful. Great figure!

But it's a bit watery. I have a slight heart condition. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it.

As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and her clothes disheveled. There must be adulterers. So I searched all over the house, in the kitchen, in the toilet, but I couldn't find it.

When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing, and I thought: Adulterer! So he took his hand.

I thought, 13th floor! Look at the fall that doesn't kill you! As a result, when I looked, I didn't die!

Caught in the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house, went into the kitchen, and found that the refrigerator was big enough, so I threw it down. Finally stoned him to death!

I was so happy! Laughing out loud. Who knew that the heart muscle was so choked with laughter that he died laughing!

The third ghost said ......I was a thug when I was alive, but I didn't do anything bad! One day I went to a female friend's house and hung out! Just finished running errands, her husband suddenly returned!

I've got to find a place to hide. So I searched for the kitchen and the toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in the refrigerator! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator, and he actually threw the refrigerator down from the 13th floor!

I just fell to death with a refrigerator!

One person had a hole in his stomach, what he ate and what he pulled, and finally he went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "It seems that you can only eat...

1.Every time my wife and her husband quarrel, my wife would go to the toilet for a long time, and so many times that my husband had to ask my wife: "What are you doing in the toilet?"

Seems quite relieved? The wife said, "Clean the toilet!"

My husband asked, "Brushing the toilet can also relieve gas?" The wife said

I don't know, it's your toothbrush anyway. ”

2.Web chat for men and women.

M: Sister, let's meet! I don't mean anything else, I just want to treat you to a meal.

F: Where can I eat? What grade? What price?

M: As long as my sister admires her face, you can order the whole city hotel.

F: Really? No way?

M: I believe my brother has the strength.

F: Okay, I'm afraid you won't go.

M: As long as my sister is willing to see my brother, I will cash it out immediately. Say where to go?

F: Go to your house and let my sister-in-law cook and eat.

3.Wife: Husband, tomorrow is the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, let's go to see the lights, wander around and take care of our feelings! Hehe.

Husband: We don't need to accompany each other, it's deep enough, and if it's deeper, we'll touch magma.

Wife: Hmph! If one day I can't take care of myself, can you take care of me for the rest of my life?

Husband: If you have a deep affection for me, I'm sure you won't take care of me, for fear of dragging me down!

Wife: You!! Yes!

4.When I was in the fifth grade, the teacher assigned an essay with the title: Remember a tug-of-war competition. Requirements: There must be a beginning and an end.

A classmate wrote:

This afternoon, we had a tug-of-war between the first and second classes. (Beginning).

Their class pulled it out, and our class pulled it out. (Pass).

In the end, our class won! (Ending).

The teacher was very angry when he saw it, and drew a large circle in his notebook. And wrote a comment: It's too short! "Pass" should be written at least ten times as much.

This student turned in the essay again, and it became: This afternoon, our first and second classes held a tug-of-war.

Their class pulled it out, and our class pulled it out. Their class pulled it out, and our class pulled it out. Their class pulled it out, and our class pulled it out. (Written ten times).

In the end, our class won!

Fried, who is in love, says to his lover's little brother, "Give you five croona, just a small lock of your sister's hair." ”

You give me fifty croona, and I can help you get one of her wigs! ”

There was a man who met God one day.

God was suddenly so kind that he intended to give that man a wish...

God asked....Do you have any wishes....

The man thought about it....

I've heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please give me 9 lives.

God said. Your wish has come true....

One day, the man was bored....

I want to say die, die...

Anyway, there are 9 lives.

Just lying on the railroad tracks....

As a result, a train drove by....

The man is still dead....

Why is that?

Because there were 10 cars on that train....

In a psychiatric hospital, there was an old lady who wore black clothes every day, and then squatted at the entrance of the hospital with a black umbrella for dinner, so the doctor thought that in order to cure her disease, she needed to find the root cause, and then squatted at the door every day in the same dress as her, and after a month, the old lady finally talked to him and said, "Are you also a mushroom?" ”

In the morning, Tang Seng woke up and saw Wukong dying violently on the ground, Bajie and Sha Seng couldn't stop sobbing and hurriedly asked: "Why did Wukong die!" Bajie said while crying: "Master, you said in your dream last night and recited the mantra all night......”

Today, I went to a place to travel, the boss entertained me with a signature dish (boiled eggs in the boy's urine), I was clever and euphemistically said that I would not eat eggs since I was a child, but the boss enthusiastically said: Then you drink soup!

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company grew up annoyed: Damn, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

I don't know what you've already heard, so why don't you send me what you've heard, and I'll find a few more that you haven't heard of and send to you.