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From the perspective of a person who has come over, after getting married, in fact, most women are still outsiders in the psychology of their in-laws. For my husband, of course, you are the closest person to him, but for others, you are still just an outsider.
They don't think about things like you do, they don't think about everything for you, and they don't have your consent or discuss important decisions. They feel like it's their own business and has nothing to do with you, and there's no need for you to know.
For daughters-in-law, after getting married, if they want to completely integrate into their in-laws' family, they also need to get along and run in for a while. After all, they are all different people, different personalities, different family backgrounds, and it is very unaccustomed to living together all of a sudden.
As a result, many young people do not live with their parents-in-law after marriage, which can reduce a lot of friction.
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Hello, after getting married, you can't get along with your in-laws, they still treat you as an outsider, and most people have such a situation. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been around for a long time, but it is not easy to resolve.
You should discuss it with your lover and let him find a way to mediate from the middle. In fact, sensible men will take the initiative to maintain family relationships, knowing that they are the bond of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the quality of their relationship mainly lies in themselves.
At the same time, the daughter-in-law should also put herself in the right position, and the mother-in-law should be respected enough to raise her husband. Mother-in-law is the same thing, she has not raised her daughter-in-law for a day, and she should be treated as her own daughter.
If the mother-in-law is very strong and the two people can't get along, the family conflict may intensify. The two sons can also consider going out to live, so that they have their own space, and there will naturally be fewer conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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Very unfamiliar with you, too polite to you.
I always hide something from you, and when I have an idea or a conflict, I always don't say it directly.
I always can't get used to you, and I find fault with you in all kinds of ways.
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If your mother-in-law's family still treats you as an outsider after you get married, the mother-in-law's family will not tell you anything, and will make decisions on many things by themselves and will not ask your opinion.
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If they treat you like an outsider, they won't consult you about anything, and they like to tell you to do this and that.
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Mother-in-law treats you as an outsider for 4 points: hiding important things from you, controlling you financially, looking for your mother's family when you have something, and not taking the initiative to introduce you to relatives and friends in detail.
1. Important things are hidden from you.
2. Controlling you financially.
In fact, the most important thing is that you are afraid that you will take money to help your mother's family, so you are controlled financially, for office workers, it is to ask about your salary, your expenses, etc., and will never hand over the money to you, if you are a housewife, then you go to buy vegetables, buy things, and ask your husband for money, your husband will definitely not give you more money under the persuasion of your mother-in-law, every time it is given little by little, in fact, you can really see a lot of problems from the money, if you are guarded against from the money, you really do not treat you as your own person.
3. Find your mother's house if you have something.
Fourth, do not take the initiative to introduce you in detail to relatives and friends.
In a married life, if a mother-in-law likes her daughter-in-law very much, she will inevitably show off to others wherever she comes: This is my son's wife, my daughter-in-law, she is a good person. But on the other hand, if your mother-in-law doesn't like you and treats you as someone else, she will be very reluctant to mention you to others, and even when others talk about it, she will be depressed and appear unwilling to communicate again.
Tips for getting along with your mother-in-law.
1. Smooth your mother-in-law's temper.
2. Find your mother-in-law's weakness.
3. Make good use of the role of husband.
Many times it is inconvenient for a daughter-in-law to negotiate directly with her mother-in-law, if you encounter a situation where you disagree with your mother-in-law, don't openly oppose it, you can discuss it with your husband in private, let your husband negotiate with her mother-in-law, most of the time, the mother will listen to her son's opinion.
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Friends are in the marriage events of life, as a girl, there will be a lot of interaction with her in-laws after marriage. In the process of interacting with each other, if the in-laws do not respect themselves, it will have a very big impact on their lives, and they need to deal with it properly to protect their own interests and strive for the most ideal results.
Specifically, when the in-laws do not respect themselves, they need to maintain a calm and rational state, face them calmly, control their emotions and not be impulsive, and use communication and coordination to convince others to resolve conflicts.
1. When the in-laws do not respect the self-destructive, they should remain calm and rational and face it calmly. When the in-laws do not respect themselves, they must first maintain a calm and rational attitude, and face everything calmly. ......This is the most critical factor in dealing with this problem, only in this way can you find the problem, find the best solution, and effectively protect your own interests.
2. For the behavior of the in-laws who do not respect themselves, they should control their emotions and do not be impulsive. For many people, when faced with words and deeds that do not respect them, they tend to be emotionally impulsive and make irrational words and deeds. ......For those who get along with their in-laws, doing so will bring unnecessary trouble to themselves, make their relationship with their in-laws worse, and ultimately damage their own interests.
Therefore, when you find that your in-laws do not respect you, you must control your emotions, don't be impulsive, and look for a solution to the problem rationally.
3. I should take a communication and coordination approach to convince others and resolve conflicts with my mother-in-law. When the in-laws do not respect themselves, they should adopt the tone of communication to solve the problem. ......The result of this is that you can properly solve the relevant problems in a convincing way, so as to take the initiative and effectively resolve the conflicts with your in-laws, so that your life can return to a stable and harmonious state.
This is the best way to solve the problem for yourself.
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<> "Did your mother-in-law treat you as an outsider"?
1. When you quarrel with your husband, does your mother-in-law face you?
When you and your husband first got married, it was a time when two people were running in with each other. It's normal to often quarrel over trivial things and not give in to each other. At this time, some mothers-in-law will blindly favor their sons regardless of which of you is right or wrong, and "deal with" you with their sons.
2. When you are under financial pressure, do you help you?
Some mothers-in-law are not good at expressing their feelings by nature, and we can see whether your mother-in-law treats you as a family member from the economic aspect. It is especially clear when the economy is in trouble.
3. Will it help you share the housework?
When you weren't married, at home, your mother was basically doing the housework. If you want to help, your mother will always say that you are in the way. After you get married, whether your mother-in-law treats you as a family can be seen from whether she helps you with housework.
If she treats you as a family, she will help you with some housework appropriately.
Fourth, do you have any living habits to take care of you?
In marriage, many things can be compromised with each other. But when it comes to eating, even if you want to compromise, your body won't. You're from the south and prefer a lighter diet. My husband is from the north and likes to put more salt.
If your mother-in-law treats you as a waiter, she will treat you the same as her son, and when she cooks, she will ask about your tastes, and if she only cares about the tastes of her son and husband, she will never treat you as a family.
Fifth, whether there is any dedication in the confinement.
In terms of giving birth to children and raising children, your mother-in-law is a person who has come from the past, and she has a deep feeling for the physical changes and psychological suffering of some women during pregnancy. A mother-in-law who treats you as an outsider will do everything you want when you are confined, and you don't have to worry about anything. Do those mothers-in-law who ignore you treat you as a family?
Sixth, is it to find fault with you everywhere.
Although mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are "natural enemies" to a certain extent, for the sake of the family, the mother-in-law who does not treat you as an outsider will not find fault with you because you have made a little mistake. On the contrary, he will teach you how to do it and persuade his son to be nice to you, after all, it is not easy for women.
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