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The parents' inner worries make the conversation not pay attention to methods and effects, but only the catharsis of emotions, so it is easy for the listener to have a rejection and rebellion, and communication is forced to be blocked. Respect and trust are the prerequisites for communication, and communication can only be carried out and completed on this basis. This basis means that both parties to the communication are equal and can accept each other.
Learn to listen and allow your child to lose his temper. Learning to listen is the first step to communication. If your child is angry about something, allow him to lose his temper.
Parents may wish to sit down first, not interrupt them, and listen attentively, which is equivalent to telling the child that you are cared about and that we are listening carefully to what you have to say. Respond sincerely, express true feelings, respond sincerely, not perfunctory, and express your parents' feelings truthfully, not in a disciplined manner.
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By listening to their children's needs in a respectful manner before expressing their needs, parents are likely to gain deeper connection and mutual understanding, and are more likely to cooperate. When parents and children listen to each other in this way, there is an exchange of energy, which automatically generates an empathy that makes both people willing to find a way to meet each other's needs. <>
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First, grasp your child's words. When children are young, they often feel unhappy and aggrieved because they don't know how to express their feelings, and at this time, parents should understand their children's inner feelings and help them vent their emotions. Second, understand your child's emotions.
Sometimes the child is not clear about his emotional response, but if the adult can show understanding and acceptance, he will realize further. Mastering communication skills and communicating well with children can help children grow up healthily.
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A misconception that many parents like very much when communicating with their children is that they like to reason with their children. Reasoning and communication are two different things. The most common misconceptions of parents:
In addition to hitting, scolding, yelling, accusing, and attacking, these are all offensive qualities, and they are certainly not communication, but violent communication. In addition to this, there is one of the most common communication misconceptions: parents like to reason with their children.
It's useless to always reason with your child. A lot of reasoning is at the level of the mind, what do I think. When parents and children reason, we all think in our heads, and children's brains are not well developed.
Probably from adolescence.
Ten. At the age of 2 or 13, it begins to develop, and it is not until the age of 25 that it really matures. This is why adult education after the age of 25 needs to explain a lot of truth. If you look at children under the age of 12, many times, this truth is not so clear.
Therefore, the younger the child, if we use language to communicate, we try to reason, in fact, the effect is not good. Parents use reason to deny their children's most instinctive emotions, and their children's anger, emotion, and sadness are all denied by parents with reason, and even bring emotional and security damage to children.
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When the child is not yet able to express himself verbally, his language expression is not so well developed, and he is not quite able to understand the reason, the strongest communication of parents is actually non-verbal communication. If you observe the communication between children, the communication between animals, they don't have a lot of language, they don't have a lot of high-level human language, then their communication a lot of times is the communication of body language. This is the child's mother tongue.
What exactly is non-verbal communication? For example, the way you look, the tone of your voice, the volume of your speech, whether it is loud or small, whether it is soft or yelling, the posture of your body when you speak, the position of your child relative to it, where you are, where the child is, whether there is physical contact between you and the child, etc.
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In the process of a child's growth, especially in early childhood, his thoughts must be difficult to be understood by parents, at this time, parents should take into account the child's ability to understand, do not suppress the child's thoughts, and respect the child's feelings. And when the baby shares his feelings with you, whether it is good news or complaints, parents had better listen attentively to what the child has to say, and give the child a corresponding response, do not ignore the child's feelings.
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A few days ago, a parent told me that he communicated with his child, but the child just wouldn't listen. I asked him how he communicated? He and I repeat a lot of ballabalas, well, this parent is all reasoning.
And when you are reasonable, you just feel that you are right, and you are very controlling. That's not real communication. When communicating with your child, your focus should be on the child, look at him with all your energy and feel him, when you speak, the starting point of this speech is in the brain or your heart, or your stomach, the birthplace of your speech is **?
Has your tone and volume changed when encountering things? What is the usual tone and volume like? When you talk to your child, do you look him in the eye?
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In the process of children's growth, parents will feel more and more that the problem of communicating with their children is getting bigger and bigger, and even becomes difficult to communicate in the end. In fact, from the time the child is young, parents should start to establish a good communication environment with their children, so that children are willing to communicate with parents from an early age, and the communication effect in this case is often twice the result with half the effort.
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Introduction: If a parent has no way to communicate with their child, be sure to find a way to communicate.
Parents see that their children do not communicate with themselves, so first of all, you must empathize with why you have no way to communicate with your children, you must find a suitable way for your children to communicate, and you must learn to listen to your children's voices. If a parent is often unable to communicate with their children, the first thing parents should do is to guide their children to help them slowly, so that the children will be happier. Parents can talk to their children well, and they must learn to communicate with their children and parents to correctly guide them, and not let their children feel confused.
Many parents see that their children have no way to communicate with themselves, and feel that they are meddling, at this time you can consider for your children, and you can not misunderstand with your children, nor can you have conflicts with your children, which will make your children's inner thoughts very sad. Some parents will make decisions based on some things, if the child is always dirty, parents should not always be angry, and must think about it with the child.
If a child is often reluctant to communicate with his parents and is not willing to communicate with his parents, then at this time you can think about why the child does this, and if a child often covers his ears, parents must pay attention. If the child is very honest when he is young, parents should use simple methods to communicate with the child, and the child can not be incomprehensible, so that the child has no way to tell his parents that his thoughts will produce rigid thinking, some children feel that they want to do something, parents can also teach the child, if the child does not know how to tie shoes, parents can also help the child. Many parents will feel that the child is immature when they are young, so at this time you don't put your own point of view on the child, the child also has his own ideas, you have to use the child's mind to think, so that the child will become very happy.
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I should respect the child, I should also care more about the child, talk to the child more, don't nag in front of the child, and don't put too much pressure on the child, so that the child's emotions can slowly stabilize and communicate well with the parents.
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I think that when parents communicate with their children, they should empathize and understand their children's ideas, so that they can develop better, understand each other better, and better enlighten their children.
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If you want to solve such a problem, parents should care more about their children, think more from the child's point of view, and understand more about the child and not have conflicts with the child, so that they can better communicate with the child.
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Many parents will alienate the parent-child relationship in the process of educating their children, or even have no way to communicate with their children, in this case, it is still necessary to do a good job of alleviating in time. Otherwise, the parent-child relationship will become worse and worse, leading to failure in education or twice the result with half the effort. There are many parents who really want their children to succeed and progress in their studies.
So I changed my way of education, and I usually have no patience when I talk to my children, and it will become blame.
The best way to educate is actually the parent-child relationship, which must be made more harmonious, so that there can be better communication, and the child is more patient with what the parents say. If parents often blame their children, scold their children, or beat and scold their children, the children will not like to listen to everything the parents say, and they will even be impatient. Over time, the child's psychology will also appear, and he will even be very anxious and violent, and he will not be patient no matter what he does.
Parents feel that their children are very stupid, deny their children all day long, and the way they communicate with their children is also very irritable, and sometimes they can't tell whether the parents are the biological parents of the children. In this kind of emotion, it will have a great impact on the child, usually talking to the child is to get the command to get accountability, and this negative emotion will also be extremely damaging to the child's heart. It will hurt the child's psychology and not get the love of the parents.
If the relationship is conflicting and the child does not like to talk to the parents no matter what happens, in this case, the communication ability will be reduced and the child will not understand what is really going on in the child's heart. If you don't know your child's heart in time, you won't know what kind of psychology your child is in. Therefore, in the process of educating their children, parents still need to know how to be relieved and relaxed, and they must develop a good parent-child relationship with their children.
In this case, when the child's psychological pressure is under pressure, it can also be relieved by the parents in time.
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Parents can't communicate with their children because parents like to stand in their own position and ask their children to do things according to their own requirements, but in fact, communication should be two-way and should be equal.
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Communicate with your child calmly, don't be emotional, respect your child, understand your child's true thoughts, don't blindly preach, praise your child more, and encourage your child.
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I think it's best to find an intermediary, for example, you can talk to your child's friends to understand the child's situation and then communicate with the child.
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Many parents have no way to communicate with their children, so parents will also feel very anxious at this time, and parents must take the initiative to communicate with their children at this time. And parents should not behave very strongly at this time, parents must care more about their children in life, if the child encounters a problem, then parents should guide at this time.
Many parents don't know how to educate their children, and most parents don't know how to communicate with their children, because children may refuse to communicate with their parents at this time, so parents may also feel very annoyed, if parents have no way to communicate with their children, then parents should find their own reasons at this time. It may be because we usually behave very strongly in life, so children are reluctant to talk to you, so everyone must care more about their children, and they must also respect children.
If you want your children to be very good, and you want them to be very strong, then we must guide our children in our daily lives. Parents must pay attention to guidance, and the influence of parents on their children is very great. If your child is unwilling to talk to you, then parents must find their own reasons at this time, and parents must communicate with their children as equals at this time, and must help children solve problems, so that children will especially believe in you.
We must observe our children in our daily lives, because children are also prone to many emotional problems at this time. If we can't help the child solve the problem, the child may become very upset at this time. But the child does not want to tell his parents all these words at this time, so the relationship between parents and children will become very distant.
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Parents should change their concepts, consider problems from the child's point of view, but also keep their own peace of mind, don't lose their temper with their child casually, you can let the child say what he thinks first, and then the parent will give the child advice.
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In the face of such a situation, you should think from the child's point of view, and the problem should also let the child have a correct attitude, and you should also communicate with the child in a gentle tone, do not rush it, and do not scold the child.
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I think parents should reflect on themselves, and they should think about whether there is a problem with their education style.
Gold Course for Qualified Parents.
How to communicate with children is a common problem for all parents at present, and the following will tell you how to communicate effectively with children.
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Communication skills with children:
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