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If you are unwilling to communicate with your parents, there will definitely be a generation gap between the two generations. Most of the people who are reluctant to communicate with their parents are people who have just entered society. What happened to my parents at that age, and what we are experiencing now, are definitely two possibilities.
But suddenly I found that I was chatting less and less with my parents, and even sometimes, I didn't have the courage to communicate with my parents. Is it normal to be noisy all the time? It's not normal, I don't communicate well with my parents, or I have too little contact in real life, in real life, we have to greet our parents more and treat our parents more leniently.
Let parents realize that their children have grown up.
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I just don't want to communicate with them right now, I ostracize them. They always want to impose their ideas on me, I am an independent person, I have independent three views, anything, advice is fine, point to point, I have to do what they do, I'm sorry, I can't do it. Escape is something I'm planning, and I'll do it when it's planned.
Or, don't think much about direct implementation.
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In order for your child to be willing to communicate with you, you have to put down your body and communicate like a child. Ask yourself, would you talk to your boss and boss? In the same way, in real life, we parents behave like a leader in front of our children.
That way, your child will be willing to talk to his friends and not tell you!
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I've been waiting for them to apologize to me, but I can't. The disappointment is gradually stacked, and I wouldn't have been because I wasn't that disappointed in you at that time. Why can't you respect me, just once.
Why do you keep saying you love me, but you hurt me? They need their children's opinions just to argue how good their opinions are.
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Some parents like to deny their children's feelings as adults, such as children coming back from school and complaining, English teachers are really annoying! As soon as you hear this sentence, the average parent will crackle and talk non-stop, what, the teacher is for your good and so on, the child originally wanted to complain to you, and you not only did not understand him, but you educated him as an adult, taught him, the child listened, naturally felt annoyed, next time, if there is any complaint, he will definitely not spit out to you. Because you don't have empathy, you don't think from his point of view and perspective.
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Children are reluctant to communicate with their parents for the following reasons:
1. Parents usually ignore what their children say.
If you don't pay attention to what your child says (especially when your parents are busy, it's easiest to ignore what your child says, and you won't ask again when you're busy), then after a long time, your child will reduce communication or even not communicate.
Second, the child feels that his parents cannot understand him.
Most parents can't understand them from the perspective of their children, and many things are nothing in the eyes of adults. But in the eyes of the child, it is a big deal, and he judged that Lu Chong's central intellectual development is not yet mature, and he needs to be explained and guided by his parents.
3. Parents usually put a lot of pressure on their children.
Nowadays, children are under great academic pressure, and they usually have various tutoring classes and interest classes. The expectation and competitive pressure from school, family, and classmates are all pressed on the children, and the communication with parents is always inseparable from the academic performance, and some children even have depression, but they can't see it at all on the surface, and they are very sunny and cheerful.
The importance of effective communication
Communication is a direct bridge between people, only communication will make our work and life better, here, we emphasize that communication is not ineffective but effective, successful communication.
Communication achieves the purpose of effective communication by establishing common values, developing the habit of empathy, and using logical thinking methods to correctly express what we think and think.
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Too much "attention" to the child
Most parents will consider all aspects of the problem for their children, and they are very distrustful of what their children do, which will lead to their children's rebellion, at this time, parents will begin to suppress him strongly, and will not care about the wishes of their children, so that the child will not be trusted by you, and he will never talk to you again.
2. Inapplicability of educational methods.
Nowadays, there are all kinds of existing education methods everywhere, and some parents will use their own children regardless of whether they see which method is good and excellent.
But it doesn't matter if it's suitable for children or not. This will easily make your child feel very uncomfortable with your education and will make your child even more reluctant to communicate with you. Communicate more with your child, see your child's strengths, and find an educational method that is truly suitable for him, so that his child can grow up healthy and happy.
3. Forcing children to identify with themselves.
A large number of parents think that they are communicating with their children on an equal footing, but they do not know that they are actually forcing their children to agree with their ideas. In this way, your child's ideas will not be recognized, and he will not be willing to present his ideas to you.
Fourth, the way of communication is inappropriate.
In the average family, the mother will always nag, and the father will always reprimand the child. As everyone knows, these are things that children are very disgusted with. Parents need to put down the shelf of parents and elders, communicate with their children truthfully and equally, understand him and support him, so that children are willing to open up with you.
5. Parents do not understand themselves and find it difficult to communicate.
Many children are reluctant to communicate with their parents, because they feel that their parents do not understand themselves, it is difficult to communicate, they always live in their own circle, they pay attention to the child's test results, do not care about the child's things and experience in school, do not care whether they are happy to learn or not, they only value the score, as long as the score is good, they will be rewarded, as long as the test is not good, then they will face beating. Children will slowly close the door of their hearts, they will not tell their parents if they have problems, they don't care about it anyway, they say it is equivalent to saying it in vain, and it will be more serious after reaching puberty, and they have nothing to say to their parents.
Sixth, the parents are relatively strong, and the children's communication many times is ineffective.
The other is that parents are more aggressive, everyone thinks that their own is right, and the child is wrong, even if the communication is also the experience of thinking that the child is unreasonable and the child is disobedient and unobedient. At first, the child will try to communicate, but it has no effect, so he chooses not to say it, just wait for the parents to arrange, anyway, what he said is also rejected!
7. Parents are indeed unable to integrate into their children's lives in the process of their own growth, and their communication channels are blocked.
There is also a situation where parents are working outside, children and grandparents live at home, becoming left-behind children, parents are a title for them, are two familiar and strange people who came back during the New Year, how can the things that happened in a year be said in these days, and they must behave well, so that parents feel that they are very well-behaved, so bad things will not be said. If they are detached from the lives of their children, then there is nothing to say!
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Communication is equal communication, most parents communicate with their children with a high posture, who is uncomfortable to listen to, since it is uncomfortable, it is better not to communicate.
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Children and parents are not people of the same generation, they have different education, different life experiences, different understandings of society, different views, and different personalities and temperaments brought by age, different people and environments in which they interact, and there is a generation gap. That is, they can't talk together, they don't have a common language, they don't have the same ideas, and their thoughts are not in the same trench. It's more difficult to communicate, so don't communicate at all!
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A lot of communication is actually preaching, and children feel unequal, so they refuse to communicate.
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That's because something went wrong with the relationship.
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I think it's because parents and elders often don't understand the type of kids they like.
Parents and close relatives who care for us and love us.
I always think that I know my children very well, know what they need, and what kind of partner they like, but in fact, they go to find a partner for their children according to their own preferences, in other words, what they think their children like.
But in fact, when children become adults, their communication with their parents and relatives begins to be stylized, that is, they are very close on the surface, live together, and seem to see each other often, but they rarely communicate effectively. The words are all simple answer book communication in daily life, and the kind of thought communication that touches the soul is deep, and it seems difficult to achieve with parents and relatives.
First of all, there is a generation gap between the two generations, different values, and different views on many things.
Therefore, it is difficult for young people to open their hearts to these elders, and their true thoughts will not be confided in Qing Rolling Hong. Because they don't understand it, they are likely to interfere in their own lives. Therefore, parents and elders are always wishful thinking for their children, and they think about it with their own ideas.
The same is true for emotional matters. And this kind of speculation is often inconsistent with the child's real thoughts and actual needs.
Many times, parents will feel that they have taken some detours and stepped on some pits emotionally when they are young, and they don't want their children to fall into them.
It is precisely because he was young that he had those wrong thoughts and wanted to help his children correct them in time, so he is likely to follow his current age of thinking about feelings, and feel that what kind of person is more suitable for marriage and life, to shoehorn into his children, and also hope that his children will fully accept his emotional values.
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Personally, I believe that effective communication with parents is related to family background, personality characteristics, living habits, occupation, hobbies, etc. The most important thing is to enter the life of the elderly, and when accompaniment, put the "heart" at home, by the elderly's side, and in the present.
In today's developed Internet, it is more common to "ask about the latest situation, talk about homely things, and play with their mobile phones after speaking", which can be called "guest" companionship. In fact, it is still closed because it has not entered the life of the old man and the heart of the old man.
You just take care of yourself, I don't have to worry about you", the banquet grinds "you don't have to come back if you're busy with work", "you don't have to come back if you don't have anything to do", which belongs to the unique "stubbornness" of the father's generation. The fathers are more reserved and sacrificial, but they lack "positive expression", so they must understand the real needs of the elderly.
1.Let the elderly know about their children's lives and ask for their opinions. Talk to the elderly about their work, life, or topics that the elderly can participate in, so that the elderly feel needed.
2.Children listen to the old man talk about the past, talk about the highlight moments of the old man, talk about his family, talk about the old man's relatives and friends.
3.In addition to communication, there must be action. Follow your parents' habits, help them clean up, organize their clothes, buy groceries, do laundry and cook.
4.You can have some body language with your parents, such as hugging, holding the elderly's hand and arm, and assisting the elderly in washing their feet and bathing.
5.Care for the health of the elderly. Help the elderly massage, help parents measure blood pressure and blood sugar, and help the elderly apply a plaster when needed...
7.Accompany your parents to the places they frequent.
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It is said that the relationship between children and parents is not good. Children rarely call their parents because they have no topic to talk about with their parents, such children, in childhood, generally parents discipline more strictly, and parents have estrangement, parents and children have not established an intimate relationship. When the child is at home, the parents and the child always communicate with the child in a condescending posture, which causes greater pressure on the child, and produces the idea of escaping from the control of the parent when he grows up.
So, after going out, it is rare to hit **.
Being demanded, reprimanded or suppressed too much, since childhood, there are only grievances and compliments, there is no expression of their own wishes, and it is a relief to leave their parents to go out to study and work and start a family. Maybe it's just that the pressure of work and study is too great now. Let's not talk about some of the better ones, and some of the lives are not very smooth, and there will really be a lot of pressure.
Now there are a lot of problems in front of friends in life, love life is not very good, career failure, not doing what you like, these problems are pressed on many people. So they don't want to hit their families more and more, because they don't want these things to bother them.
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The answer to this question can vary from person to person, but here are some possible reasons:
Lack of communication skills: Some people may not know how to communicate effectively with their parents, especially when dealing with sensitive topics or emotional issues.
Private space: Some people may need their own private space and don't want to share too much information in their daily lives. They may feel that they need to spend time alone so that they can process their thoughts and emotions.
Distrust: Some people may not trust their parents or feel safe and therefore reluctant to share their thoughts or situations.
Generation gap: There may be a generation gap between parents and children, causing children to feel that their parents may not understand their lives, or that they are not interested.
Other: There are other possible causes, such as personal preferences, past negative experiences, and so on.
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