Why is it that the more you are cared for by your parents, the more you want to be estranged from yo

Whether it is in drama or real life, I have heard it from time to time, and it may be staged around some people, at this time, everyone must be very puzzled, in a family with more children, why is the child who is often the most filial, the most wronged, and the least loved by parents, but the more arrogant and domineering the child, the more loved by the parents, and such children often grow up, often have a bad attitude towards their parents and are very mean, in fact, there is a reason for such a strange phenomenon. I can finally know what my parents are thinking!

After thinking about it, I came up with three reasons

1.The eccentric nature of parents is worry

The word "eccentricity" is defined from the perspective of the child. From a parent's point of view, the essence of the word is worry, worrying about the child's inadequacyWorried that they will not develop well in the future, worrying that you won't be able to help enough, and so on.

2.Parents are most worried about their weak children

Parents all over the world want every child to develop well. But as the saying goes, "a dragon gives birth to nine sons, each different", and each child in a multi-child familyPersonality and ability are not the same. And parents willUnconsciously worried about those children who start slowly and have weak abilities.

Yes, in families with many children, parents are generally "biased" towards the youngest, the least studying, and the poorest.

3.Children with stronger abilities know how to be filial

As the saying goes, "the children of the poor are in charge of the house early", and children who are originally more capable and receive less attention from their parentsIn fact, in the case of self-relianceDown, tend to grow faster and understand earlier. SoI can better understand the hardships of parents, and of course even moreFilial piety.

Of course, parental love is priceless and difficult to reciprocate, although sometimes uneven. WhateverHow much we get, we are grateful, not resentful.

Children who lack love are generally more introverted and their emotions are not easy to expose due to their long-term lack of attention and love. If you grow up in a discordant home environment, your child will imitate some of the actions of her parents, and your child may become irritable and violent.

Sometimes parents ignore their children unconsciously, and if the child grows up in this parent-child relationship, the child will be autistic, uncommunicative, etc. At such times, children will close themselves off, and they have emotional needs that are often not met.

In today's fast-paced society, parents may have to run for life, and the pressure of work makes parents neglect their children. If parents travel a lot for work and are not very interested in interacting with their children, then their children may be neglected. In addition, if the parents do not have a good relationship and there are frequent disputes, it is also possible to cause neglect of the child.

Many parents have a headache about their children's "rebellion". Always looking for some way to "fix" the child. A child's rebellion is a good start, and if parents grasp it well, it will benefit the child for a lifetime.

Rebellion is not a child's problem, nor is it a difficult problem to solve. If you want to change your child, read this article, parents and children, will get better and better!

We may all have experienced adolescent and adolescent rebellion, but as parents, we can't really understand a child's feelings. I have experienced thousands of cases of "rebellion" of children, and I have my own experience and summary. Recently, I was deeply moved by an article about a teenager looking for himself.

Actually, the child's rebellion itself is not a big deal. Everyone has a tendency to rebel within themselves. For the growth of a person's life, rebellion is only temporary, and only after this temporary struggle and pain will the child slowly mature and truly understand the intentions of his parents.

The fate of a person's life and his parents is only a few decades. In the past few years, our parents raised us, they grew up with us, and when we think we are old enough, we will enter a rebellious period, feel that our parents are verbose and ignorant, and we will feel redundant with every word they say, and we will involuntarily have impatient expressions on our faces, and our words are also disrespectful and bored.

Therefore, getting along with parents may really have to wait until after they get married, and the adoptive child knows that this is what his parents are talking about. At this time, the parents are old, and we are in the prime of life, so many times we should take the responsibility of taking care of them, maybe they are old-fashioned and can't keep up with this society, but we will never dislike them again, but hope that we have the ability to take our parents who have worked hard for most of their lives out to see the big world, so that their later life is no longer monotonous and lonely. Maybe they will still nag like before, but we should know that everything comes from "love", and in front of our parents, we will always be children.

Except for a few enlightened parents, all parents want to completely apply their own values, living habits, ideas, etc. to their children, so that their children can become copies of themselves.

They don't want their children to get hurt in the best society. Teaching children about their pre-formed lifestyle is what they think is the best way to avoid injury. But these are not necessarily true.

But not all children are comfortable with everything their parents want to give them. This is the reason why children grow up to have conflicts with their parents.

Judging from the subject's description, the subject has always obediently accepted the education of his parents, but this time the broken love made the subject realize that he had never thought about how to face life by himself. Discover yourself and you can't survive in society if you don't have what your parents taught you.

The subject has two options. The first is to continue to obediently listen to their parents, follow their wishes, copy their way of life, and become like them. The second is to no longer completely follow your parents, to observe the world with your own eyes instead of your parents' eyes, and finally find yourself.

The advantage of one is that you don't have to make a little effort, and the disadvantage is that your future is limited, and your parents are your future. The advantage is that you can find a lifestyle that really suits you, and the disadvantage is that you will experience a lot of pain when growing up, and your parents will have a high chance of becoming your resistance.

I hope that I can always find a solution that suits me. Bless you.

There are many children who grow up and the relationship between their parents is more and more estranged, and some parents may not understand this phenomenon, and even feel that their lives are miserable and raise a white-eyed wolf, so children are close to themselves when they are young, and they are more and more estranged from themselves when they grow up and their wings are hard. In fact, it is a phenomenon that children grow up to be estranged from their parents, and if parents do not understand their children, they only need to think about why they are estranged from their parents. Mainly for these 3 reasons, in fact, I don't blame the child.

Parents are too their children.

When the child is young, the parents are the stern representatives in front of the children, the parents are strong, omnipotent, and do everything right, so the children must listen to their parents. But when the child grows up, he will sooner or later understand that his parents are actually just ordinary people, not so powerful, not so authoritative and worthy of worship. If the parents themselves are close to the child, the child will still be close to the parents, but if the parents and the child are sternly hesitant and not close enough, the child will lose the worship of the parents in his heart, and the relationship with the parents will naturally become farther and farther away.

Parents don't respect their children and manage too much.

No matter how young a child is, he or she has self-esteem, so he needs the respect of his parents. Some parents treat their children as their own property and think that you were born to me, so you have no privacy in front of me, and you can do whatever I want. Although many times parents are for the good of their children, in the hearts of children, there will be a sense of insult because they are looked down upon and violated.

He will be estranged from his parents from his heart, and once he has the ability, he hopes to be as far away from his parents as possible. When the children grow up and finally understand the painstaking efforts of their parents, they want to get close to their parents but can't find a way, because parents are always more concerned about how well they are getting a job, how much they earn a month, whether they have a girlfriend, when they will get married, and when they will have children, which are topics that children don't want to talk about.

Lack of communication with children.

When children grow up and are estranged from their parents, of course, there is a very important problem, that is, the problem of communication. Some parents don't communicate with their children much when they are young, and their children have something to say or want to talk to their parents about what they have suffered, but they never get the understanding and comfort of their parents, and can only be exchanged for a lecture. When the child grows up, the concept of life and consumption are different, and many things have to be hidden from the parents, otherwise they will be preached.

When the child wants to buy something for his parents, the parents will not be happy, and will say that it is better to give me the money and I will save it for you.

For this problem, this is your own experience of growing up, you will not be like this when you are young, and when you grow up, you will have this feeling, especially when you are in adolescence, in a rebellious period, you will have such thoughts.

What to do if your child is rebellious? In fact, the psychology of rebellion"It is a stage that everyone must go through to grow up, and these are necessary for adults to live independently in the future, and parents need to be good at guiding and mastering the skills of communicating with their children.

In fact, when the child and the parent disagree, if the child's idea is indeed wrong, the parent can patiently explain to him clearly what are the reasons for not doing so.

If the parents' ideas are different from the children's ideas, but things can be done well with the children's ideas, then let the children do according to their own ideas, so that the children can better cultivate their sense of independence and establish a correct outlook on life and values for him.

Most of today's parents only care about their children's grades, but ignore their children's own abilities, never consider their interests and hobbies, and force children to accept their own plans, forcing them to do things that they will not be able to do for a while, the result can only be counterproductive, or even achieve nothing, this incorrect method is very easy to make children have antagonistic emotions.

The correct approach should be that the requirements put forward by parents should be slightly higher than the actual ability of the children, so that they can "jump to pick the fruit on the tree," so that they can successfully complete the task and enjoy the joy of success after hard work. In this way, the child will continue to develop self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

When the child makes a one-time mistake, and it is made knowingly, parents can criticize, but if the child's shortcomings are stable and have formed a habit, criticizing this tool is not easy to use, and the more the child's fault is criticized, the more it cannot be changed. In fact, many parents use criticism to fix their children's shortcomings.

When it comes to educating children, criticism is a tool that is not easy to use, and it must be systematically trained. There are two sides to everything, and criticism is the same, on the one hand, it can be a punishment and negation of people, and on the other hand, it is also a kind of motivation and motivation. Parents must carefully analyze their children's mistakes and use criticism reasonably, because the purpose of our criticism is to make the child develop in a good direction.

Curiosity is the starting point of interest and an important motivation to stimulate research and exploration. In particular, children's exploration psychology is particularly strong, the world is full of mystery and wonder for them, adults are commonplace, and things that they don't think of, they have to ask, play, touch, and sometimes it is inevitable that they will get into trouble.

If parents don't understand their curiosity and think it's nonsense, they indiscriminately scold and scold their children, which will naturally cause them to be dissatisfied.

A wise parent should tell his child that we don't know what you want to know, but we can find his answer together. So, these are some of the opinions.

First: Many parents do not have empathy, cannot understand each other's feelings, and the other party feels that they are not understood, hindering communication.

Second: Some parents like to tell big truths or use their own life experience to enlighten adult children, which is even more disgusting!

Third: Even if the bad thing has passed, it will be mentioned repeatedly, such as the continuous fermentation of sour kimchi blocking the mouth and nose of the other party who wants to communicate!

Fourth: total rejection of children's concepts. Authoritative, indifferent, and high-minded parents will make each other feel not respected, understood, and recognized, and they will take the initiative to close the door of their inner secrets! Isolate the desire to communicate.

Fifth: Circling around the child and not having a life of his own will also reduce the status of parents in the minds of children. Sixth:

You can not like the traffic stars of the sissy, but you can also learn about their advantages, especially those appreciated by children. In short, try to reduce the gap between generations! In addition, the relationship between parents also affects children's communication, and the indifferent atmosphere or the conversation between parents is like a dispute, like a trump card that slowly closes the door of the sensitive youth heart.

There are also those who think that when children grow up, it is time to be independent, and it is normal to be estranged. Yes, every child will eventually go into the world alone, but the love and support of the family is the driving force for them to fly and the armor to resist the wind and rain. And effective communication and exchange is the most beneficial support for adult children in an independent society!