In a relationship, how should we avoid hurting the other person in the name of love?

No matter how careful people are in life, contradictions cannot be avoided, the contradictions you care about are avoided, and the contradictions that you don't care about have appeared, so the key is how to resolve the contradictions after they appear. Two people in love come together because of fate, based on understanding as a bond, sincerity, carefully maintain this relationship, despite this, there are still inevitable differences and contradictions, at this time do not complain, let alone shirk the responsibility to the other party, usually the man should take the initiative to take the responsibility of resolving this contradiction (although he may not be at fault), take the mistake to himself, actively consider the problem from the other party's point of view, pay attention to and understand the other party's emotions and feelings, seek the other party's cooperation to solve the problem, if not, do their best even if they pay moreFinally, the contradiction is properly resolved. Looking at the problem from the other party's point of view, lovers should be like this, after all, the two are towards the same goal, for the same tomorrow, so they need to care more about each other, be humble, and tolerate all the advantages and disadvantages of each other.

It is inevitable that there will be a contradiction in love, and what you can do is how to resolve this contradiction. If it is resolved, it is the mood of life, and if it is not resolved, it will be a nightmare. There will always be disagreements between couples because of some big and small things.

In fact, not only lovers, but two independent individuals, will disagree, but you are very close to the other half, and this disagreement is magnified. Tolerance, understanding, empathy. The most important thing is to empathize and think more from the other person's point of view, sometimes you will have a feeling of sudden enlightenment.

The little couple lives a life, how many bad things. If you have difficulties, you will go to customer service, and if you have grievances, you will communicate. Since it's the life of two people, don't make your own decisions.

Think more about each other, you pay, you will get something back, feelings are like this, everything is like this.

Tell the other party everything, and timely communication can avoid most harms.

There is a friend's relationship like this, he thinks that his object is relatively weak, so when a friend goes out to play, he never calls him an object.

But he didn't think that he didn't like her, because the two people didn't have an intersection in their circle of friends except for each other.

But she didn't speak, knowing that there was a certain contradiction, and the two of them were going to break up, so she said this.

The hurt in the name of love is often not seen, but it really affects the feelings of two people.

Respect the other person's opinions and choices, and don't always say that I'm for your good, and make choices and decisions for the other person, without taking into account the other person's feelings.

Don't make decisions for the other person without permission, or speculate about the other person's thoughts because you think about them, but be able to listen to the other person and think from the other person's point of view.

To listen, in addition to talking about it, it is also important to listen. Learning to listen can better understand each other's thoughts, get into each other's hearts, and boost emotions on both sides.

Whenever you treat others with your heart, they will reward you with sincerity. There is also patience, in the process, you need to be persistent and not expect too much from each other.

Couples should learn to respect each other, as a couple, they should get along harmoniously, and mutual respect is the most essential and humane principle for each other.

To love her is to give her plenty of freedom, and not to limit her freedom in the name of loving him.

Respect some of the other person's choices and don't impose your own views on others.

Learn to communicate! Emotions are the ocean, communication is the river, emotions are full of rivers, and the best time is only when the source is constantly replenishing the ocean.

TrustMutual trust is the most important trait that two people share in a marital relationship, and being happy and building a growing relationship is also a short-term relationship.

Appreciate each other, no one is perfect, everyone has advantages, learn to cooperate with each other, understand each other, and can taste the ups and downs of life.

I think it's a daily way to get along with a lot of couples. My wife thinks I'm good to you, I think about you everywhere, but you're not satisfied. It also opposes me, accusing the other party of conscience.

And husband, I was very troubled that I didn't just want to sleep late and steal things secretly. As for rising to such heights, there is no longer the freedom to choose to eat breakfast or skip it. A suffocating death hopes to escape.

Many couples have relationships that are caused by piling up too much chicken skin every day. They only know to point fingers at each other and rarely find the root cause of the problem, which leads to a slowdown. There are also many acts of mutual love in the parent-child relationship.

For example, there is a "mother thinks I'm cold" cold.

However, love and care are wrong, and there is nothing wrong with that. Because love is about giving respect and freedom to each other. In fact, the mistake we often make is to kidnap each other in the name of love and care

In the end, the other party cooperated more and felt restrained and unwilling to give you the desired love in return, and I don't even accept your love and concern. In this relationship, two people are very tired and struggling. For example, in the case of breakfast between husband and wife A and B, wife A tries to make breakfast for her husband, which is actually the wife's internal need, and the wife is worried that her husband will starve to death and be safe, so the wife pays for breakfast in the morning.

Bondage: If you skip breakfast, you won't respect my labor, and you won't love me. However, it is true that the husband's inner need is to sleep occasionally and skip breakfast, but the result is that the wife forces him to get up early and force him to eat breakfast, not because of his heart's desire, even if he knows that the other party is good for him, the husband has a compulsion that is not free.

The husband could not resist and had no reason to refuse, because the other party was for the sake of the family.

Therefore, the husband can only choose to sneak away psychologically and look for freedom elsewhere, such as hiding in the car after work, not going upstairs, such as going to the toilet for more than 30 minutes, such as going out。Find a confidante or lover. Over time, a woman who is not recognized in the family will fall into a breakdown, or her emotions will become extreme, or she will seek comfort from the outside world.

In this breakfast situation, what should be done is to make each other feel comfortable, the correctness of things is relative, not absolute, it is possible to find the real needs of the other, for example, the wife knows that the husband does not disrespect the other. As a result of his work, he just wanted to give him some room to indulge once in a while if you were lazy. After all, everyone has a child at heart.

He is okay with skipping breakfast once in a while. He chooses to eat us, he chooses not to eat, and he doesn't want him to be unhappy right away, and we are happy.

I think there are people who talk about love, but they are very unfaithful to love.

In the name of love, ask the other party to buy a house, buy a car, and buy all kinds of luxury goods.

Asking each other to do this and that in the name of love, and even trying to change every aspect of the other person!

Every day when I get home from work, I only care about playing games and watching TV series, and I don't care about each other.

When there are some misunderstandings and injuries to the people close to us, we don't immediately judge him or say that we fire him in our hearts, we have to use a very mature way, where you are hurt, what do you want him to do to meet your needs, if he listens to you, you earn back an intimate relationship, and your relationship is better than before, and when I talk about it, I also make a lot of mistakes, I don't know when I did something to make you feel uncomfortable, If there is such a thing, please tell me, then there is such a thing, in order not to destroy our relationship, I want to tell you, this incident caused me unpleasant, my purpose is to repair our relationship, this is the middle of the relationship, you have to enter the point of a little deeper must go through some things, so each of us must learn to tell each other, when the other party hurts us, we have to have a good way to tell each other. But sometimes, unconsciously we hurt others, and we have to go to others to ask for forgiveness, because sometimes we make mistakes, and we are not forgiven, and we have no reason not to forgive others, because we get a lot of love, so there is no reason not to love others.

I think it's a very interesting idea, I think I can hurt you if I get hurt, rightfully so, because you hurt me first. Therefore, hatred, holding grudges, putting oneself in a state of victimhood, are some unhealthy phenomena, hatred can bring hate, love can cure hate, for the sake of love and physical and mental health, we must step out of the role of victims, when a person constantly plays the role of a victim, and does not establish a healthy boundary for himself to fight for his reasonable rights and interests, unconsciously conniving, or even encouraging others to play the role of a bad person or persecutor, but inadvertently hurts the intimate relationship, What do I mean by that? What I'm saying is that there are two kinds of healthy love, you have to have unconditional acceptance, but at the same time, you have to set boundaries for love.

When another person keeps violently inflicting violence on you, ravaging you, you keep playing the role of a pleaser, you not only sacrifice yourself, but you also sacrifice the other person, because when I myself play the role of a victim, how bitter I am, how bitter I am, unconsciously, I define others as a persecutor, and he is getting worse and worse. However, setting boundaries for love and not allowing him to bully you like this is actually a protective relationship, and you also help the other person grow.

When you have children, remember the complaints you have complained about your parents and try not to make the same mistakes. When your parents are old, when you take care of them, you should often recall the complaints you once complained about your parents, don't forcibly hide your father's cigarettes and alcohol in the name of love, don't let your mother go out to dance, and respect their hobbies If you can understand from the mistakes of the previous generation, let yourself make star progress, and use it on the two generations, that is the evolution of a generation. The above is the perception after living for more than 30 years, after detours, confused, different friends around me have seen a lot from childhood to adulthood, and then gradually understand that those smart peers have already found the best practices.

Parents, children, husbands, wives and friends lead subordinates, it seems that the relationship between people is first and foremost, and if I have been formed, there is no need to fight for how others should treat me, everything is just how I should treat others, choose a way that can not wronged myself and not hurt the person I love.

Before the age of 18, as a child, you can be a little tolerant of your parents, and you can stick to yourself with roundabout tactics. For example, instead of arguing with your parents at the highest point, arguing that you are wrong and I am right, and talking about how you should be a parent, it is better to secretly hide some pocket money, buy spicy noodles to eat outside, and feel comfortable for yourself, and let your parents be out of sight, and everyone is happy. On the one hand, they use non-violent non-resistance and non-cooperative strategies to silently show their parents that you can't control me anymore, but I still love and respect you, and on the other hand, I insist on self-discipline and self-improvement, and always show that I can take care of myself, including life, study, and other persistence in my future.

This is also the way of dealing with everyone and everything as an adult, and you can use your parents as the first object of practice.

"Forgiveness" is not the same as "compounding". To forgive is to unilaterally forgive the other person and let oneself enter the world of freedom from the prison of the heart. And getting back together requires the efforts of both parties, and the other party also needs to take responsibility for what they did wrong.

Getting back together right before the other party admits their mistake and corrects it may cause more harm. For example, if he is drunk, gambling or doing other things that hurt you, if you continue to maintain an intimate relationship with him, he will keep coming to hurt you, basically, before the other party refuses to admit his mistakes, take responsibility, and correct his behavior, he is not a safe person, at this time, you blindly get back together with him, you will be hurt, and it will not be good for him, which talks about a health boundary problem.

After the age of 18, try to go to other provinces to study, go to other provinces to work, live a self-sufficient life, and give your parents and yourself a psychological desensitization period at a distance, so as not to let your parents want to control your words and deeds when they see you. Insist that everyone has their own life. All interference can be done with non-violence, non-resistance, and no execution of tactics.

Ask your parents less for money and send more money to your parents. Your voice and your parents' voice in life choices can quickly be reversed.

It's scary to think about, being a parent doesn't even need an exam. Be yourself and be sure that actions will not cause harm to others. Interference in the name of love, many times, really is, makes you irritable, and you can't scold her yet.

Because she really wants to be good for you. However, people are individuals. Your parents gave birth to you, but you are a human, not a machine.

Spicy strips are a trivial matter, but the mother's desire to control that it reflects is the real problem. In the future, there will be countless spicy strip incidents. Marriage, work, and making friends are much more important than spicy strips.

How to choose, what to do if she interferes.