What are the characteristics of a people pleasing personality?

The obvious trait of the people-pleasing personality is that it is sensitive, and this type of person is always very sensitive to the needs of others. People with a people-pleasing personality are very quarrelsome with others or have any conflicts.

1. Since childhood, the people around me have been better and superior than themselves, and in order to find a sense of existence, they are willing to revolve around others. 2. I feel that the people around me don't like me, and I need to please others or do something to be recognized by others.

A people-pleasing personality is a personality that pleases others while ignoring one's own feelings, and is a potentially unhealthy pattern of behavior, not a personality disorder. ”

The people-pleasing personality means that he wants to do more actions to get the other party to be recognized by him, and he may give up some of his principles and ideas to accommodate others, hoping to leave some good impressions in the hearts of others.

The people-pleasing personality refers to the personality that blindly pleases others and ignores one's own feelings, which is an unhealthy psychological state.

The people-pleasing personality has many advantages that ordinary people do not have, as long as you give full play to the advantages of your personality and control the bad psychological habits that make you feel wronged, you can make yourself truly happy and make yourself stronger. There are five main core strengths:

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

Clause. 1. Be good at insight.

It is precisely because they are good at perceiving other people's behaviors and habits, and analyzing their preferences and psychological activities, that they can please others and meet their needs, which is the key.

Clause. 2. Perceive needs.

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

It can also be said to be empathy, they are good at transposing positions for others, understanding others' feelings, comparing their hearts to their hearts, so they can perceive the needs of others, and after they perceive and empathize, they are prone to accept others, take care of others, sacrifice or wronged themselves.

Clause. 3. Sensitive.

It is very sensitive to people's emotions, and is sensitive to the pros and cons of the characters involved in the handling of things and the outcome of things, and this sensitivity can become its own advantage when used properly.

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

Clause. Fourth, think about others.

Being considerate of others is a virtue, and the people-pleasing personality has no trouble at all, as most of them are born with this virtue.

Clause. 5. Interpersonal communication.

As long as they are willing, this type of person has strong interpersonal skills, and will be very popular wherever they go. Of course, I don't think about the kind of people who bully and oppress the people-pleasing personality with bad intentions.

What are the advantages of the people-pleasing personality that the average person does not have.

To sum up, we can see that the above five are not only the core advantages of the people-pleasing personality, but it is precisely because these five core advantages account for too much of their ability advantages and are not reasonably played, but they let themselves be affected and wronged.

If you don't feel like you're too constrained, too wronged, and you're enjoying it, I don't think it's okay, because what you think is good is good. Good people are good to themselves, they can do good deeds with good intentions, and the final harvest is in their own spiritual quality, this kind of person is worthy of admiration, and ordinary people can't reach this realm.

For example, at the wine table, it is clear that you can't drink too much wine, but you don't refuse to toast wine, and in the end, you are still uncomfortable.

Can a people-pleasing personality be quit? Yes, but it's hard.

The people-pleasing personality is a cognitive defect that cares too much about what others think because it doesn't see its own strengths.

The people-pleasing personality is cultivated from a young age, from trying to satisfy your parents when you are a child, and when you grow up, you become satisfied with what others are doing for yourself, so that you can gain a little sense of security. The evaluation of others is becoming more and more important, and one's own value is becoming more and more ambiguous.

It is obviously not easy to get rid of such a habit, or to say that it is indifferent to the evaluation of others.

How to change the "pleaser" mentality?

1.Accept this imperfect world.

You can't control what other people think, and at the same time, you are not obligated to fully agree with what other people say. You should understand that self-worth is not determined by the evaluation of others, but by one's own evaluation.

Others are not obligated to like you, nor will they have too many ideas about what you do, and put less pressure on yourself.

When you don't do a good job, there is no need to criticize yourself, it is better to sum up the lessons and continue to grow.

2. Learn to say "no" and establish a sense of boundaries.

Putting yourself first doesn't mean being selfish. Perhaps you can find a quiet, undisturbed place to recall what you have done in the past and make a list of the things you don't like but that you have voluntarily done for others. Then, write why you don't want to do these things.

At this time, you will find that in fact, these things are contrary to your principles.

So, we have to stay true to our principles. To name a few chestnuts: I don't like negative energy, but what others ask me to do for help will make me feel bad, and I will refuse;

The things I want to help with must be in line with my values, otherwise I refuse; I'm going to get eight hours of sleep today, and if it's too time-consuming, I'll refuse ......

3. Accept the guilt you felt about rejecting someone for the first time.

The beginning of changing habits is always tough. Because of the habit of being centered on other people's emotions, it is difficult to say no words. When you say no, don't feel guilty, don't be sorry, because he will find another person who can help, or another solution.

If you're still soft-hearted, imagine the consequences of the incident on the flip side: I helped do something I didn't like......However, things can always be solved. Others don't have too many ideas because of a trivial matter.

4. Learn self-love and improve self-confidence.

Follow your heart, believe in yourself, and don't care too much about what other people think, because you will never be able to please everyone. Even if you get a lot of praise from others, this is not the real you, and learning self-love will reflect your value.

Don't always compare yourself to others, accept and love yourself more, and treat yourself as if you were a mentor and friend. If you have time, you might as well do something you like, get enough sleep, and maintain a good mental state. Confident people are the ones who are truly liked.

Generally speaking, the most important characteristic of the people-pleasing personality is that they hide their emotions and are very afraid of conflict, so they will suppress their own needs. And to correct the people-pleasing personality, the best way is to face yourself truthfully, find a relationship that you can trust, and speak your thoughts very openly with each other, you will find that you are one step closer to the truth, and the truth will not damage your image, and you will gradually get out of the people-pleasing personality.

The reason why you can't take the first step to love yourself is because deep down you can't accept who you are. You're used to devoting all your energy to warming others and gaining their approval, and once you stop doing so, you feel very guilty.

What are the characteristics of a people-pleasing personality? 1.Don't know how to refuse other people's requests.

Fear of rejecting others will make others dissatisfied and affect the evaluation of others around them. I try to say "no", but I always feel a strong sense of guilt after saying that.

2.Caring too much about other people's eyes and ignoring their own feelings.

I have low self-esteem and am afraid of being negatively evaluated by others. At the same time, I am afraid of bothering others, and I am afraid that others will annoy me. Chats are often withdrawn, not knowing if they will disturb others.

I am afraid to express my true feelings, I am afraid that my immature ideas will be disgusting, and I am also worried that I will be isolated from the group.

3.He is very sensitive to the emotional changes of those around him.

When chatting, if a friend doesn't reply to text messages for a long time, he will repeatedly think about why the other party doesn't reply, whether he has said the wrong thing, and falls into a fearless entanglement.

4.I like to compromise when I encounter things, and I am used to finding problems only in myself.

When I encounter an embarrassing scene, I feel that it must be my own problem. I like to apologize and get away quickly. It doesn't matter who is right or wrong, I always like to handle it this way.

5.If you have emotions, you will only digest them silently.

Having emotions will only be buried in your heart, and you are afraid that sharing your true emotions will affect what others think of you. Desire but inability to build intimacy with others.

6.Get used to pleasing others.

In his dealings with others, he always deliberately panders to please others, and even gives up his principles and bottom line to conform to the other party. I obviously hate these behaviors of myself, but I still want to be cheeky and blend in with everyone.

The following is a detailed analysis of the personality characteristics of the people-pleasing personality -

1. Be good at discovering the desires and needs of the other party - growing up in the "white terror" in the living environment, afraid of being blamed and blamed by people with paranoid personalities, and pinning their own blame on the satisfaction of the other party's desires and needs, while people with paranoid personalities feel that you exaggerate your feelings;

2. Habitually accept other people's requests and don't know how to refuse - once, because of refusal, he suffered, and in the long run, the self-protection mechanism told him that accepting the least harm was suffered. In other words, even if he doesn't want to accept it, he can make up what the paranoid personality in his heart will do to him if he doesn't accept it.

3. Good temper, good man, but inner struggle - because many people with a pleasing personality grow up in a living environment accompanied by a paranoid personality of the superior (elder, leader or irreversible person in the same generation), so they are very afraid of conflict. As mentioned earlier, the activation of the self-protection mechanism told him that only by "valuing peace" can he "turn hostility into peace". But in fact, there are turbulent waves in my heart, or tears are pouring out.

4. Desire to be rewarded - because they have been in the "white terror" for a long time, they are especially eager for the other party to be aware of their own needs and hope to get a sense of security. However, the paranoid personality is precisely suspicious and repetitive, so he always does not get the satisfaction of his sense of security. Therefore, in interpersonal interactions, he is often overly enthusiastic and sincere, which is not hypocritical, but just a desire to get from others the feelings that he has lost but have not gained.

To sum up, this kind of personality does not need to be overly vigilant at the beginning of its appearance, it is a defense mechanism of its own psychology. In a situation where the surroundings make oneself uncomfortable, a kind of self-emotional fine-tuning. It is true that you will find that you have wronged yourself and fulfilled others, but in a sense, this kind of personality makes it easier for you to discover other people's thoughts and requirements, and it is easier to capture other people's desires.

Therefore, the transformation of the people-pleasing personality naturally has two directions, one is that emotional intelligence is becoming more and more outstanding, knowing one's own thoughts, and striving to break the cage that once bound oneself; The other is to become sensitive, suspicious, fragile and timid, and the word to cover it is cowardice.

The people-pleasing personality is a common personality trait characterized by a tendency to feel safe and accepted by pleasing others. Characteristics of this personality type include:

Pay attention to your image in the eyes of others and want others to like you.

Tends to please others too much and is sensitive to the needs of others.

Low self-esteem and easy to feel like you're not good, useful, or popular enough.

It is easy to be infected by others, and it is difficult to assert one's own positions and opinions.

Prone to fear, anxiety, and restlessness, especially in social situations.

There may be a tendency to be dependent, and it is easy to put one's own happiness and security on others.

It's important to note that a people-pleasing personality doesn't mean that people of this personality type are hypocritical, or insincere. Many people with a people-pleasing personality genuinely want to make the people around them happy, and they also work hard to maintain relationships. However, focusing too much on the thoughts and feelings of others can sometimes lead people with a people-pleasing personality to ignore their own needs and feelings, or even sacrifice their own interests when it is not in their favor.

First, the internal friction is serious.

Man's greatest consumption does not come from the overdraft of intelligence or physical strength, nor from the struggle with nature, but from his own war against himself. Due to the trauma of interpersonal relationships when I was a child, after growing up, as long as I interact with others, I will have feelings such as inferiority, humiliation, and guilt, so I am unwilling to deal with people and feel very tired.

2. Difficulty entering into intimate relationships.

I always feel that I am not perfect enough, and I always want to wait until I reach a certain standard before entering the relationship. Afraid of being seen by the other party as unconfident, he often disguises his true self in intimate relationships. is particularly insecure.,Often deny each other and find fault with each other because of the other party's small problems.。

I can't show my true side, so it's hard to make a deep connection with the other person.

3. People-pleasing personality.

In order to be a "good person" in the eyes of others, he will blindly agree to the other party's request. When I came back to my senses, I was entangled and annoyed in my heart, why did I agree to the other party, and I wanted to refuse and felt guilty. On the surface, it seems that he is a "good person", but in fact it is an internal cowardice.

Fundamentally, their "ego" is weak, they are afraid of being that outlier, and they always need to look outward for approval, so it is always difficult to refuse the demands of others.

Fourth, they are often asked to be sensible.

Since childhood, my parents often quarrel and divorce, or I grew up in a single-parent family, or my family members are sick, and I grew up in a turbulent environment and have no sense of security. As a result, when you grow up, you will be cautious in how you behave, and sometimes you will even be "overly polite", for fear that others will misunderstand because of your own negligence. Caring too much about others often neglects oneself.

Because he did not live out his "aggression" in the environment he grew up, he often attacked himself inward.

5. Excessive anxiety.

When you are praised, you feel deserved. When you hear your own negative comments, you will feel flustered, you will not analyze the problem, and you will feel that the other party is denying you. When this emotion becomes more and more hail, it will enter another extreme, and you will set a higher standard for yourself, and if you don't do it in real life, you will be overly anxious.

After a long time, you will feel inferior, depressed, and even lead to depression after a long time.