My boyfriend didn t want a child before marriage, but he gave birth after marriage, what should I do

This is very normal, there may be a certain irrationality in giving birth, the reason why you don't want children before marriage is that you may not have so much financial strength, and you may not be ready to be parents before marriage, and you may be working hard for your career, focusing on career and ignoring family. The problem of survival has not been solved, so what is the point of reproduction? First of all, you should understand him from the man's psychology, and then if you don't want to have children, you can discuss it with him, and you don't need to be in a hurry for a few years.

In general, the situation may be because the man's parents are particularly anxious, or the parents are very old, and the inheritance itself is the idea of the older generation, to put it bluntly, it is to pass on the ancestry. If it's really because of your parents-in-law, you can discuss it with your husband and then go to calm their emotions first. Then tell them that there's no need to be in such a hurry, and that they can think about these things when everything is ready.

The point you get angry at is that they didn't consult with you, made such and even somewhat unreasonable demands directly to you, and you feel that you are not respected. If your husband really loves you, he will discuss it with you. If you really feel particularly aggrieved in your heart, then talk to him and talk about what you think in your heart.

From this point of view, he can be persuaded that many parents who marry early are not worthy of being parents, they do not have enough economic strength to give their children good training conditions, give him a lot of resources, and now many of our parents hope that their children will live a better life from the bottom of their hearts, provide them with a knowledge to change their own path, and persuade them to go to school. We don't really want to put that much pressure on our childrenIn fact, isn't it good for the child to be born so that he has a variety of choices? This has also become a resource and opportunity that parents can create for their children, and if everything is not in place, they can delay thinking about it.

On the other hand, it is also a step for a woman to take. Our teacher once said that a woman has been contributing to the family from the moment she conceives a child, and she has to choose between career and family after she is done. Many parents-in-law will look for their husbands and ignore them, you should ask him if he is mentally prepared to give himself enough comfort?

First of all, you should help yourself to overcome this hurdle, rather than forcing it.

Naturally, you can communicate well with your boyfriend, let him understand your difficulties, and at the same time, you can also discuss with your boyfriend when it is appropriate to get pregnant, so as not to put pressure on you to give birth all the time.

Do it according to your own wishes, if you don't want to have children, tell him clearly, if you don't agree, it's up to you, two ways, one compromises, one is not compromised, compromise now, similar things will happen in the future, you must make it clear, otherwise there will always be such a problem.

There are many and complicated aspects involved in this matter, and you have to consider it well, whether it is suitable for having children at this stage, economy, psychological preparation, etc. There is also the fact that two people must have a good discussion.

Then you think that if the time is right, you should have a child, because anyway, the child can bring us a lot of joy, and you will definitely not regret it.

I think you should have some communication with your boyfriend and find a suitable time to have a baby, instead of urging it all the time.

Tell your boyfriend directly what you think, saying that you don't want to have a baby yet, you must solve this problem before marriage, don't be embarrassed to mention it, don't be awkward in marriage, the problem will only get worse. Since he hopes to have children as soon as possible after marriage, it shows that he is very eager for children. If your needs are not equal, and there is no negotiation and compromise before marriage, you will definitely quarrel over the issue of having children after marriage, so the problems found before marriage should be solved in time.

Here's how:1. Tell your boyfriend in detail why you don't want children.

The boyfriend wants to have children as soon as possible after marriage, which may be the reason why he is older. After the age of 30, men are more urgent about having children. You don't want to have a child so soon, and the reason has to be clear to your boyfriend, whether it's because you're afraid of not being free after having a child, or because you're afraid of the pain of childbirth.

Tell your boyfriend frankly, if he can't accept it, then see if he can compromise, if he can't compromise, there is no need to get married, after all, it is difficult for couples who are not in step to be happy after marriage.

Second, you can also give each other a deadline.

If you don't want to have children for the time being, make an agreement with your boyfriend on a deadline, such as whether you will have another child after one year or two years after marriage, so that after a clear time limit, your boyfriend will be much more acceptable. Tell your boyfriend more, a woman who has a baby has to bear a lot of things, and I hope he can be considerate and give you enough choice. Remember, if you can't respect your decisions before marriage, don't expect him to respect your ideas after marriage.

3. Discuss with your boyfriend the division of labor for having children after marriage before marriage.

There must be a lot of issues that can be discussed before marriage**. The boyfriend wants to have a child as soon as possible, because he doesn't have to bear the responsibility of childbirth, so he thinks it's easy, you have to tell him what will happen after giving birth, and let him understand that having a child is not your business alone, and let him get involved. It's easier for him to understand your feelings.

After marriage, women have to bear the responsibility of having children, and the burden is heavier and they think more. This man can't understand it, if your boyfriend can't respect your decision, you have to carefully consider whether to be together, after all, there are a lot of things to deal with after marriage, a man who doesn't love you will only think about himself, and this kind of life will be very depressing.

Communicate well with your boyfriend and say your scruples, this matter is not just a matter of thinking about one side, marriage and having children are both parties' affairs, and the most important thing is to communicate and discuss together.

You can have a good ** with your boyfriend, discuss it, and then plan the time, and after the two people have coordinated, you can decide when to have a child.

If you don't want children, you can communicate with your boyfriend why you don't want it, I think your boyfriend really loves your flowers must be able to understand you, I suggest that you must be mentally and financially ready to have children.

You can tell him what you think, and the two of you can negotiate, if you can't negotiate, you can choose a compromise and take a step back.

Just tell him that you don't want children now, and then tell him why you don't want children now, just make it clear, and I think he will understand you.

You can communicate with your boyfriend that having a child is completely negotiable, and you must not just follow one party's idea.

You can communicate well with your boyfriend, tell him about your current situation, and don't allow yourself to have children after a while.

You can communicate with your boyfriend, hoping that the other party can understand your thoughts that you don't want children yet, and hope that your husband can support and understand.

Two people must communicate well, otherwise they don't get married, and in the long run, the contradiction between the two people will become bigger and bigger. It's better to communicate before marriage.

Talk to your boyfriend about why you don't want children, express your thoughts, and want him to follow your advice.

I don't know if you're of marriageable age, but if you're all adults, then I'd like to say:Girl, don't be stupid, the child can't hold back his playful heart, what else can make him enter the palace of marriage with you? Are you sure he is genuine with you and not playing?

I've heard a lot of stories like this, and I've seen a lot of cases like this, and many people say it's for freedom, so I think it's irresponsible, or don't do it, and have the courage to bear the consequences and responsibilities when you do it.

A girl, gave her best youth to you without hesitation, in the face of pregnancy and marriage such a big thing, she did not flinch, what reason do you have to retreat, since you choose to retreat now, then why did you do it in the first place, I don't know what words to use to describe such a boy, the fragile soul is not as good as a girl.

Maybe you have thousands of reasons to reject her heart that wants to marry you, but you can't deceive your heart, your love for her is not firm enough, of course, what I am analyzing is the man's heart, in order to let this stupid girl understand what she should do and how to criticize him fiercely, make him sober, and make him responsible.

Of course, I'm not saying that girls should give up easily, this matter is not a matter for the two of you, if you love him, go brave and tell the parents of both sides about this matter, I believe that they should also have a correct decision.

Now there are a lot of men and women who have started to be together before they are married, and I want to say to them, especially boys, when you are with her, you must understand that your responsibility lies in **, you have to afford it, and you must have the courage and determination to bear it.

Then don't want this child, and don't want this boyfriend with you by the way.

This is irresponsible for him, since he thinks about it, why don't he avoid it if he doesn't want to get married so early, doesn't he know that this will hurt you? To put it bluntly, it's an escape, I don't want to be in charge, it's okay if such a man doesn't marry! Why do you want to do this?

Then don't have children. I feel that he is not very responsible, since he doesn't want to get married, why is he with you? If you insist on giving birth, you and your child may not be happy. So don't talk about the child, even he doesn't want it. This kind of person has no sense of responsibility even if he gets married.

Alas! If you meet such a person, you can't help it, then ask yourself if this person is worthy of your love. It's not worth it to leave this scumbag, this is a human life.

Ask him why he doesn't want to get married, if he is afraid that he will not be able to raise children, the two of them can work together.

Do you love him? Do you think he loves you? It has to be done from the heart! No one can decide for you.

It shows that he doesn't love you and doesn't want to get married so early, why should he get you pregnant.

Beat the child and break up with him, such an irresponsible man can't give in, and he can't get used to it, otherwise he will get worse in the future.

In my opinion, Phantom Moon wants to get married, but if the man doesn't agree, after all, marriage is a matter of two people. It's still a matter of calculation.

I think that since this situation has arisen, I will find a way to solve it after consulting with the other party.

In fact, when the relationship reaches a certain time and realm, if there is no problem, it should indeed come to the point of talking about marriage. So if you face your boyfriend's urging to marry and have children, you still have to think about whether the two of you have really reached this kind of time, if so, I think you can also consider his request, after all, it is a matter of time. If you think that the two of you are still early, some things have not stabilized, and it is not enough to get married, then you also have to talk to him well, because you can see that he is looking forward to getting married, so you must give him a good explanation, even if you refuse, you must give him a reason to settle his heart.

Refusal is actually nothing, it may be that some things have not been arranged or you feel that the relationship is not stable enough, then if you forcibly get married at this time, there will still be various problems after marriage, it is better to discuss and correct it before marriage.

All in all, if everything is in place, you can consider getting married, if you feel that it is inappropriate, then discuss it with two people, don't force it, and don't miss anything.

When the relationship progresses to a certain extent, when you find that you can't leave each other, you will transition to another way of life, which is to get married and have children, and become each other to the other half. Of course, before you can change to this way of getting along, you need to think it through, after all, marriage is a lifelong thing.

Your boyfriend has been urging you to get married and have children, which is a sign that he thinks that you are both of a certain age and should get married. And if you are late and do not agree, you are uncertain and hesitant about your feelings, you don't want to lose him, but you don't want to step into the shackles of marriage too early. At this time, you have to deal with the relationship between you and your boyfriend, and don't let him misunderstand that you have no feelings for him, so he refuses to get married.

You can try to talk to him, tell him the reason why you don't want to get married, if he really loves you, I'm sure he will understand, and is willing to wait for you, meet such a man If he is good in all aspects, agree to marriage, he is worth entrusting for the rest of his life. On the contrary, he still keeps urging you to get married and have children, which shows that he doesn't love you, but he is old and needs a wife and children to make do with it. At this point, you should be glad you didn't say yes.

In fact, the most important point is that the initiative to get married or not is up to you, if you don't want him, can you still escort you to the Civil Affairs Bureau?

However, sometimes the subconscious action reflects a person's truest inner thoughts, and if you don't want to marry him, it means that you may not like him that much, or that there is something about him that you don't like. You should think carefully about this person, whether you are going to live with him for the rest of your life. It's too late to regret it before you get married.