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Fear of marriage is a hot word in recent years, but my view of fear of marriage is that it is not because I have seen all kinds of scumbags and scumbags, which makes me feel that if I don't get married, I can do my own thing and not care about so many details.
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"Marital phobia" is a long-term, abnormal, and unrealistic fear of marriage or intimacy.
As for why there is a fear of marriage, there are the following psychological reasons:
1) Trauma in childhood.
Every kind of constant intimidation can be found in the final analysis, in the past, in childhood.
It is generally believed in modern science that fear of a thing can be traced back to external trauma and internal heredity.
The reason why marriage-phobes are full of fear of marriage is probably because most of them have been hurt by their parents and family in childhood, and they are extremely unconfident in marriage and do not believe in love.
Marriage-phobic people often say that they are emotionally traumatized or have the shadow of their parents' marriage breaking down.
Therefore, many people are afraid that they will have the same experience as their original family in marriage. Therefore, the fear of contact with the opposite sex and the fear of establishing intimate relationships is actually a manifestation of insecurity and fear of abandonment.
2) Don't dare to face responsibility.
Many people have been single for a long time, feel free, do not get married, have no children, and have no constraints.
In fact, it's not that they really hate marriage, it's just that there are too many unknown variables hidden in marriage, which they really can't accept and passively change.
What's more, it's easy to fall in love and difficult to get married, there are no economic conditions, few people dare to get married, the pressure is too great, it's too scary.
In the traditional ideology of the Chinese people, marriage is to perpetuate hope and pass on the lineage. There are only melons and seeds, and there are no children and melons, and the overwhelming response to married life has discouraged many people.
All of this is really just two words: "escape". People who dare not get married because they are afraid or avoid it have also become part of the army of marriage-phobia, simply because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.
In the end, they may not be able to withstand the strong demands of their relatives and find someone to marry hastily, but most of those marriages end in unhappiness.
3) Fear that there is no love in the marriage.
Would you choose a relationshipless marriage?
I'm sure many people's answer is no!
A marriage without love is even hard to speak, and getting along without feelings is a dream along with a bed.
It is always said that marriage is the grave of love. This quote also serves as a reason for an ideal lover to refuse to marry in pursuit of true love.
How easy it is to fall in love! The happiness of the two people is pure and beautiful, not mixed with all kinds of trivial things in life, and it does not involve the details between the two families. It's just that two people have come together because of feelings and hormones.
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Why do people fear marriage?
1. Fear of intimacy.
Fear of intimacy can also be called detachment from the group. This kind of person generally lived in an indifferent family when he was a child, and the dialogue between family members was almost zero, which led to the character of this type of person has a very strong need for loneliness and privacy, and when getting along with people, as long as they are a little intimate, they will be very afraid and panicked, afraid of losing their only freedom.
2. Fear of losing love.
There is such a group of people, fundamentally, they yearn for intimacy and love, which is what they seek all their lives. You can give up everything because of a sentence I love you, but on the other hand, they are just enjoying the vigor of love, and they can't stand the test of time, and once they calm down, they will choose to break up, and marriage will become a constraint for them.
3. Parental influence.
There is nothing wrong with saying that the best education for a child is that of his parents. The impact of a failed marriage on a child's child is enormous. When I was a child, I saw my parents fighting and arguing for a long time, and I began to be full of disgust for such a family, which led to the child's reluctance to contact with the opposite sex, and did not learn how to get along with the opposite sex.
The most serious is domestic violence, which is extremely harmful to women, and often makes them stop believing in men as creatures.
4. Evading responsibility.
Marriage is not child's play, and once you get married, you have to bear the pressure of the family, which is also the responsibility of men. Some men want to end their free life through marriage, let their lover make decisions, and thus dump the pot on each other, do not want to face the pressure and responsibility given by married life, are afraid to take responsibility, and want to escape.
5. The impact of the previous marriage.
If you have been divorced, your last marriage may affect your choice of spouse for the rest of your life. The impact of a failed marriage is very strong, and this influence is a subconscious effect, and you are afraid that the next marriage will repeat the same mistakes, and you are afraid that you will be hurt or abandoned again.
Sixth, the child's problem.
Some newlyweds, one side longs for children, the other side does not want to have children, such a union will only be the intensification of contradictions, marriage with such contradictions will not be happy, fear of marriage: "I may have no children in my life".
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Fear of marriage is a representative psychological illness in modern society. It may be that they are afraid to take care of others and take responsibility, so they are reluctant to start a family. It is also possible to see the negative publicity of today's married life and cause fear in the heart.
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Why are many 20-year-old mushrooms on the Internet more transparent than 40-year-old women, they are afraid of getting married without experiencing marriage, of course, excluding those who love to block alcoholism, in fact, most women are happy with husbands and children, unfortunately they have learned to compare, which leads to men not being able to find money to be green, and then seeing the poisonous chicken soup that those saints talk about on the Internet, "Women want to be independent, women are not facing the sky and palms are up, women are not men's accessories, women are not men's nannies" Most of the women who often talk about these poisonous chicken soup are divorced, they have no man to rely on, they have been beaten by marriage, and they pass on the negative energy of marriage, a marriage must be the sacrifice of both parties without affecting the principle, you are a nanny, and the man who works hard to earn money outside is not also a grandson? There are thousands of chicken soups in the world, but there is no chicken soup that tells you how to live a good home and teach your children well, it is negative energy, the details of life beating, try to ask who dares to get married, people are not going in the direction of death at the beginning of their lives, there are many joys and sorrows in the middle, and there are also family joys, you see too thoroughly, it is not a good thing, and who will quarrel, but often divorced people are problematic on both sides, not the fault of one party, feminist era, if any poisonous chicken soup affects the inspiration of family breaking, Smart women can ignore it, family harmony and happiness are more important than what, money is very important, the older generation has less money, and in the end they don't have everything?
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The so-called marriage "passers-by" will say that marriage is the grave of love, no matter how loyal the relationship with the partner is before marriage, it will be weakened to varying degrees after marriage, and even after marriage, you will find that the once perfect lover has begun to reveal his true nature.
In the era of the development of the Internet, people's attention to social news has also increased significantly, and news output of "bigamy" and "cheating marriage" often occurs, so that the psychological hints all the time will only make them more resistant to contact with the opposite sex. Always facing marriage with the idea of "suspicion and suspicion" will not find a suitable ideal partner.
Married life costs money, effort and affection, and it is better to live a relaxed life by yourself.
Contemporary young people, especially the post-90s and post-00s, have a rocky attitude towards everything based on their own feelings, and they will not just think about going to school, getting married, and having children like the older generation. The post-90s single people were born in the era of the rapid development of the Internet, people's living standards have been significantly improved, there are many entertainment and pastime projects that can be carried out after work, everyone generally feels that living alone is also very sufficient, and the responsibility to find a marriage partner in the early stage is too much, and the appearance of "sky-high bride price" in various places makes some people have a natural rejection and resistance to marriage. In the later married life, there were more firewood, rice, oil, salt, and trivial matters added, which made people more exhausted.
Counting the many disadvantages of marriage, it is natural to start "fear marriage".
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Economic pressure: There are too many mundane festivals to get married, and the economic pressure is too great. Financial pressure is the most realistic problem for young people entering marriage nowadays. Marriage means two closed gods, and the two families are allowed to live together.
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Marriage phobia is a very representative psychological illness in modern society, which refers to the fear and avoidance of unmarried adults entering marriage. It is the fear of the ordinary life that may exist after marriage, as well as the fear of the responsibilities that should be borne after marriage, which is the most critical factor of fear of entering marriage. Fear of marriage is a kind of psychology that does not want to enter the state of marriage for some reasons, and this reason mainly includes the unhappiness of the original family, the poor economic situation, and the desire not to lose freedom.
Fear of marriage is a mental illness, is a kind of phobia, the reason for the fear of marriage is mainly because of the promotion of marital contradictions and unhappy marriages, which leads to the psychological pressure of friends who enter the marriage, some bad psychological hints, and fear of marriage.
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There are usually several factors that contribute to marital fear.
The first is caused by factors related to family relationships. Such factors are mainly due to the divorce of parents, or the poor living conditions of parents, which have left a shadow on their childhood, forming a fear and sensitivity to life.
The second is the frustration of emotional experience. Such a factor is usually due to the fact that I did not handle and grasp the previous relationship well.
Third, the influence of surrounding environmental factors. Before everyone enters marriage, they are affected by the life concepts of the people around them, and then become the standard of their future life, when the surrounding environment is full of bad feelings and marriages, full of bad thoughts and attitudes to life, they will fear that they will encounter the same thing in the future.
Fourth, a relationship is not yet mature. Such factors are usually that a relationship has just started and has not yet really understood each other comprehensively, but it is subject to the pressure of age and relatives around you, resulting in the choice of entering marriage when the relationship is not mature.
Expert tip: The cause of marital phobia may be because of the unhappiness of one's original family and the disharmony of the relationship between parents, which causes psychological shadows; Have had a failed emotional experience; Influenced by the life concepts of the people around them; A relationship has not yet reached the stage of maturity before entering the choice of marriage. It is recommended that patients look at examples of family happiness and change their perception of marriage.
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Nowadays, people live and work under great pressure, and there is only one child in a family, so they have to support both parents to form a family, and they are very stressed, so they are very afraid of marriage.
Fear of marriage is not that he does not love fear marriage, but that he has a psychological disorder.
Modern people can show affection and send a circle of friends, while ancient people did not have communication tools, and showing affection can only express mutual feelings and romance by giving each other sachets, belts, jade pendants, etc.
According to the World Health Statistics report released by the World Health Organization, from 2000 to 2016, global life expectancy and healthy life expectancy both increased by more than 8%, and the world's population not only lived longer, but also lived healthier. >>>More
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