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When I woke up, it was cold on the other side of the bed, and I stuck out my fingers to find the warmth of the prim, but only touched the mattress covered with a rough canvas. She must have had another nightmare and ran to find her mother. Of course, she did.

Today is a harvest day.

I supported myself on one elbow. There was enough light in the room for me to see them. My little sister, Prim, curled up and hid in Mommy's arms, their cheeks next to each other.

The sleeping mother looked younger than usual, and her tired face was not so haggard. Prim's face is like a drop of fresh water, and she is as cute as her name "Spring Flower". Mom used to be beautiful, too, at least that's what they told me.

Guarding her next to Prim's knees was one of the ugliest cats in the world. A collapsed nose, one less ear, and eyes the color of a rotten pumpkin. Prim called it the golden phoenix, and she insisted that the muddy yellow hair was the same as the pretty flower.

It hates me, or at least doesn't trust me. Even though it's been years, I think it still remembers when I tried to drown it with a bucket when I took it home with prim. It was a skinny kitten with a belly full of parasites and a crawling body full of fleas.

And all I need to do is have one more mouth to feed. But Prim kept begging me to keep it, and even cried, so I had to let it stay. But then it got better, mother.

I don't think you ever understood me (the life I wanted). Your idea is that I should learn all the time. I know you want me to grow up to get a good job, but I want every day to be exciting.

You never supported my hobbies, such as sports. Two days ago, when I was watching a game, you told me to turn off the TV and do my homework. You still won't allow me to read football magazines after I've finished my homework, and you say I should go to bed early.

That's a lot of choking. Yesterday was even worse, I bought some computer games and put them in my bag so you couldn't see them, I said I'd do my homework first, and I knew I shouldn't lie to you, but you told me that my dad was going to talk to me later, Mom, I really can't stand you treating me like this, I really love you, but I also hope you don't treat me so hard.

I don't think you know much about my life. You think I should study all the time. I know you want me to have a good job when I grow up, but I also want to have some good time.

You never think about what I like to do, like ** and sports. Two days ago, when I was watching a football game, you told me to stop and do my homework. After I finished my homework, I continued to read my football magazine, and you said I had to go to bed early, and that was bad enough, but yesterday was the worst day.

I bought some computer games and kept them in my bag so you couldn't see them. I'm telling you I'll do my homework first. I know it's wrong to lie to you, but you told me Daddy would come and talk to me in a while, Mom, I don't like what you do to me.

I really love you, Mom, but I hope you don't be too hard on me.