How to deal with the contradictory interpersonal relationships around you

In the process of growing up, you will inevitably have to endure many inexplicable losses.

1. Due to the lack of contact, you may not know much about their activities and topics. They won't be deliberately isolating you.

2. It is normal behavior to accompany your girlfriend. After all, it's more important to have a girlfriend later in life.

You don't have to be contradictory.

Be open to your buddies and talk about anything. Be genuinely concerned about others. Show your enthusiasm for their activities. Be active about their topics. Express your own opinion.

Since you and your roommate are brothers, why don't you join your girlfriend as well, isn't it better for you to hold the subject's hand and call them buddies to have a friend and have a small meal together.

Stick to your own correct opinions and accept reasonable suggestions from others! In this way, you will take your life and interpersonal communication one step further!

1. I should participate in some activities with the brothers in the dormitory, because this is an opportunity to enhance friendship and emotional exchange! If you allow, ask your girlfriend to join you! Tell them to do the same, and ask their respective girlfriends to participate together! So you don't get isolated!

2. Give yourself the courage to live and overcome the psychology of inferiority and introversion! As long as these personal problems are solved, everything else will be solved!

Go your own way and let others say go.

In fact, dealing with interpersonal relationships is very simple and complex.

The key is to know what you really want, friends are using each other, you can't live with a friend for a lifetime, you look for him when you use him, he looks for you when he uses you, it's that simple!

University accommodation is to forcibly put several people with different values, living habits, hygiene habits, and character quality levels together. It is inevitable that there is a contradiction, and there is no contradiction is an accident. Besides, no one wants to always take care of others in their lives, for example, I have to play games in the middle of the night on the one hand, and I have to sleep at night on the other hand, and this is how the conflict comes.

And to be honest, no one owes anyone, and it's really better to live alone in a dormitory. However, this is unrealistic in terms of the number of teaching facilities in schools today, and there is no practical and effective solution.

Therefore, I think that any mutual tolerance is self-comfort, and collective life is a word for forbearance, which is not meaningful. If you want to talk about what you have learned, it's really cool to rent a house by yourself.

I don't like to think of conflicts and contradictions as "learning", I hate a lot of roommates, and I hate group life, so I can learn so much.

Edit 1, it is normal for people to divide into groups, not necessarily that others don't like you. During college, in fact, adolescence has not yet ended, and I will pay special attention to the evaluation of others, which is easy to have self-doubt. However, everyone's time is limited, and the people they can get close to are also limited.

Therefore, we are naturally willing to spend time on people with similar interests and temperaments, and in a dormitory, there will naturally be good friends in twos and threes, and there are also people who are alone. You can't be good friends with everyone, because you can't be recognized and liked by everyone, and it may be that others don't have the time or opportunity to be friends with you.

2. To have a good environment, we must first respect others. The university dormitory has a more relaxed schedule than the middle school, but there are also lights-out times. If you want to have a good night's sleep, don't keep chatting after the lights go out.

Roommates may also come from different classes and majors, and their course schedules are different. Some need a lunch break, and some stay up late at night and need to catch up on sleep; Others have to do their homework on the computer.

When others are resting or doing homework, please be quiet. In addition, the hygiene of the dormitory needs to be maintained, if you love to be clean, don't litter; If you can't clean in shifts, don't complain if you do more by yourself, otherwise the work will be unpleasant. What you want is not necessarily what others want, negotiation, start with respect.

College students have entered the stage of independent life, and it is inevitable to encounter contradictions, which require us to have the ability to solve them by ourselves. We must improve our psychological quality, and when we encounter contradictions, we should think and deal with them calmly. In fact, some contradictions do not have to be resolved, and if there are contradictions that cannot be resolved, you can try to adjust the high-source state of mind and focus your attention on other things.

In addition to its own adjustments, it also needs to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis. There are all kinds of contradictions in university life, and each contradiction requires a different solution. If we are sure that we have no problems, it is due to the problems of others, and if the communication is ineffective, we can cool down this contradiction first and focus on other more important things such as studies and work.

One of the main tasks of being a lecturer and trainer is curriculum development, constantly writing materials, books, and courseware.

For example, I once worked with an institution and needed a different course. I kept changing it according to the opinion of the institution, changing it back and forth, and then changing it back to the original version, but I was still not satisfied, and finally, the emotions exploded.

I just said, "How the hell is this changed?" Let's get straight to the point. The other party suddenly said, "Teacher, I know that you are not comfortable changing it back and forth like this."

Actually, I thought the same thing, but there was no way, it was decided by the company's leaders at a meeting. As soon as the other party said this, my heart suddenly felt comfortable.

**。This is a crucial point in further resolving differences. If one party evaluates themselves in the same way as the other party sees them, it will be very effective in alleviating the resentment of both parties.

This method is not only effective in work, but also very helpful in intimate relationships.

In interpersonal relationships, sometimes it's not just about discussing a result, it's about being understood. Once the other person understands your feelings, you will find that in fact, our relationship is intimate, and I am not isolated.

**。In conflict, the first step is to deal with the other person's emotions and make it clear that we are friends on the same front. Take care of each other's emotions, so that the contradiction solves the first major problem.

**。How to find a way together in the conflict?

As mentioned above, when there is a conflict, even if there is a way, don't bring it up immediately, respect the other party's feelings and understand the other party's thoughts, but if you understand the other party's thoughts, at the same time, you can also resolve the other party's grievances.

After there is already such a trend, what should be done to reach an agreement and find a satisfactory solution?

You're actually halfway there, and you're more than half there. Next, be prepared to review multiple options.

For example, "What do you think would happen if we changed this course a little bit more and added some of our own content?" Instead of directly saying, "This course brings in foreign ones, and we can add some of our own content, right?" "If the same content is expressed in different ways, the degree of acceptance by the other party will be different.

Giving the other party an answer directly will often be denied, and what you see is the inadequacy of the answer, but if you put forward a suggestion and let the other party think about it, the result is done by two people together.

Regardless of whose outcome it was, in the end, a common goal was achieved and the conflict was resolved.

The conflict itself is an emotion, so if you solve the emotional problems of the other party, see the essence, and the essential things are solved, the conflict will basically be half resolved.

When there is a conflict, don't give a decision immediately, don't tell the other person immediately, you should follow my method, but respect the other person's feelings, guide the other person to say what he thinks, and then, then say what you understand about him.

Only through the above process of conflict resolution can it be possible to resolve conflicts, reach an agreement, and find a common solution to the problem.

The above is the content shared by Teacher Liu Yanping with you, and I wish you all a smooth work.