Does the rebellious period of teenagers really exist?

From the perspective of developmental psychology from the perspective of psychoanalysis, a person's growth process has gone through: healthy autism (the first month of life), symbiosis (integration with the mother without distinguishing between you and me), separation and individualization (you are you and I am me, the object and self begin to differentiate), and the Oedipus stage (beginning to understand the relationship between three people, and you, me and him, there is competition among the three, which is more complex than the relationship between you and me). Separation is individualized, which is a passive stage at the beginning.

It begins with what Winnicott describes as a good enough mom to bring about the limitations. Because there is no such thing as a perfect mother – the perfect mother can meet all of a baby's needs, and it will be met immediately.

When the baby's needs cannot be met immediately, the baby is surprised to find that the mother is the mother, I am me, and the mother is not a part of me! Mom is not my arm, she can do my bidding.

It's a mixed feeling, with anger, dismay, and so on. If these complex emotions can be felt by the nurturing (usually the mother) and given an understanding response (usually reassuring), then it can help the baby through the hardest part of the separation and individuation. After that, the baby begins to explore comfortably and even happily on his own.

At this point, a spontaneous and adventurous process of individualization begins. Another driver of separation individuation comes from the development of "narcissism". This part is different from the "forced separation due to setbacks" mentioned above.

It can be understood as "born with the drive for self-realization". Babies begin to seek their own "sense of competence" from birth. For example, if a baby starts destroying toys at a certain time, this behavior may be expressed by the baby

Look how powerful I am! In this case, the caregiver is also required to respond to the behavior in an "understanding manner" rather than a rude interruption, and especially not to use morally evaluative reprimands. The above two views come from the "psychoanalytic object relations theory" and the other from the "psychoanalytic autologous psychology theory".

But whatever the theory, it makes the same claim for nurturing: comprehensible responses. Because comprehensible responses can help children understand themselves and not suppress themselves.

The child understands himself, as if he understands "what am I doing" and understands "I can do this, to what extent can I do this". If the child is rudely interrupted, he may know: I can't do this.

But he didn't understand: what can't I do? Can't I destroy toys?

Still can't express my strength? This has a bad consequence: the desire to grow can be suppressed, but not extinguished.

At the right moment, children will always seek to express their strength. <>

does not exist. But as children grow older, they begin to ask questions, which is a sign of maturity. Examining oneself and others, as well as the world, is also the beginning of human progress.

I'm 19 years old, so I can say I'm just past the rebellious period. I used to beat the teacher and went to the police station, but now it's much better.

The question you ask is:"What to do when a teenager enters a rebellious period"

To solve the problem, we must first find the key to the problem.

When was the last time you went to the park with your kids?

Children are still children in front of their parents, and parents should take care of them.

What's the use of making that much money?

Make extra time to spend with your children.

You adults always say that I have already done you right, and I have given you good food and clothing.

Have you considered your child's thoughts?

Now there is one in every family, and there are very few older brothers and sisters. I think that as an older sister, it should be better to communicate, and there is no estrangement between them. But you can't tell your parents everything your brother told you.

For example, he likes a girl, and it is normal for adolescent boys and girls to be boys. When he tells you, you can't betray him, tell his secrets to his parents, and after you know you, it will be more difficult for you to enter his heart again.

Also, when you are with him, don't speak in a tone that is bigger than his, and try to bring him out of a rebellious state.

Clause.

1. Communicate more with children, understand their problems, and solve them in a timely manner;

Second, we should give children the opportunity to show themselves and satisfy their vanity.

Third, we should look at children with an appreciative eye, praise and encourage them more, so that they have a certain sense of achievement, do not scold, scold and complain, but praise and encourage them more.

Fourth, it is necessary to avoid hurting their self-esteem, and not to criticize and blame them with serious language, and to carry out verbal attacks.

Fifth, take care of your children and spend more time with them.

The rebellious period of adolescence generally occurs in children between the ages of 12 and 18, and is mainly due to abnormal endocrine metabolism, which leads to some rebellion in the child's mood and personality. At this stage, children begin to gradually establish their own outlook on life and values, which may conflict with their parents' concepts and cause rebellion.

The performance characteristics of adolescent rebellion in terms of age are that although the 14th Five-Year Plan is short, children are most likely to rebel, and this stage is also the peak stage of the rebellious period; In terms of gender, boys are more rebellious than girls; In terms of specific manifestations, there may be disobedience to parental discipline and deliberately contradicting parental instruction. Shows rebellious behavior of emotional apathy, reluctance to communicate with parents, and impatience with parental communication. Even regardless of the consequences of their actions, they do some very extreme things, such as staying in Internet cafes for a long time, and may even wander and beg, gamble, and carry out illegal and criminal activities.

Adolescent rebellion generally lasts about 3-5 years and generally does not exceed 5 years. For each child, the rebellious period of adolescence begins and ends at a different time, with some starting early and others ending early. Some teenagers start early and end late, even until the age of twenty or thirty.

However, most adolescents have a strong rebellious phase, which is usually concentrated between the ages of 14 and 16.

1. Try to understand your child, just as parents always complain that their child can't understand themselves. Ask yourself if you understand children.

2. Learn to tolerate children, don't blindly blame or even scold when you do something wrong, people are not sages, who can do nothing, let alone a child.

3. Don't force your child to do what you don't want to do, which will not only fail to achieve the desired effect, but also backfire.

4. Don't laugh at children, learn to respect their opinions, as they grow up, they will have a lot of their own ideas and opinions.

5. Give children a certain amount of freedom and allow them to do what they want, adolescent children often think that they are already adults. They are eager to do something and be recognized by adults, and parents should support and encourage their children to help when necessary.

6. In the family, you must plan your children's rights and obligations. This will tell your child that this is something you have to do every day, or something you have to do during the week.

7. Walk the inner world of children, play with children, eat, and travel. Let your child have more activities, let yourself know more about your child, and become a good friend of your child. This is more conducive to guiding the child's direction.

8. Participate in more social welfare activities with children, cultivate their love, make them realize the infinite fun of being helpful and helping others, improve their moral literacy, and enhance their charm and prestige among their classmates in school.

If your child is rebellious, I suggest you find a psychologist to see your child and then communicate with him.

Children at this age have rebellious periods, as long as they are not excessive, it doesn't matter, after all, they are going to grow up, and they will always slowly have their own ideas. Communicate patiently, patiently understand the child's inner thoughts, accompany the child, and take the child out for a walk.

First of all, parents should understand their children more, and at the same time, they should comfort their children more, understand their children's hearts, and at the same time, they should respect their children and give them some space appropriately.