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The process that everyone has to go through. Whether you want it or not. Will come that day. Remember to be more filial piety, more companionship, and more understanding when you are a person. Be less impatient. Much more practical than your grief right now.
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There will always be regrets in life, at least you can accompany your father for 12 years, my father only had 4 days from the ruptured aneurysm to his death, at that time I had not graduated from college, my sister had just entered the sophomore year, and my younger brother was still in junior high school, no one could understand the pain, but who could stop the loss of relatives, I still can't let go, I can only accept this cruel reality, and redouble my efforts to give my mother a better life and care.
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Rites of passage. No one can resist the forces of nature. Since you can't resist, you must accept it bravely, and it is sad and painful for your loved ones to leave. But this is the law of circulation. Everyone has to abide by it unconditionally.
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Although I am very sad, in front of him, I will not show it, I just want him to live happily and leave no regrets. Then I will cook whatever I want to eat, and I feel that I have to be filial to him in the last time.
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Birth, old age, sickness and death are human nature, and human beings have no way to stop it, only take good care of him, make him happy, and leave no regrets.
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Thinking that his loved one is about to pass away, but maybe there is a possibility of recovery, as long as he is happy, there is hope for everything, and there will be miracles.
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Why is God so unfair, and why are good people not rewarded? Grandma is still young, only 70 years old, God is so unfair. I have to take good care of her.
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Because "losing" someone is a long and profound fact, so to admit and accept it, you must endure the thoughts, memories, emotions, and so on that come with it.
While enduring it, begin to focus on the present moment. Look at what you have now, cherish what you have, and not wallow in misery. This is exactly why "endure". To endure pain is to accept the facts, but also to grasp the present.
Ways to soothe the pain of losing a loved one:
Helping the bereaved through grief requires learning to listen and allowing the bereaved to fully express their pain. Whether the pain is expressed through psychopathic displays, through denial of reality, or through anger and blind aggression against others, all of these reactions are normal and can be allowed. ”
Qian Ying said, "At the same time, we should also pay attention to the rhythm, if the bereaved person is not willing to tell, do not dig deep into his pain, because everyone has a way to heal themselves, when the bereaved is not ready to touch his pain, do not force him, and when he wants to express, he must fully accompany and listen." ”
When the bereaved person's emotions have been dealt with, the next question is how to adjust to life after the death of the loved one and how to face the future. At this time, the bereaved person himself needs to rethink the meaning of life.
The above content reference: People's Daily Online - How to soothe the pain of losing a loved one.
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1. Accept the reality of the death of a loved one.
When a loved one dies, the first thing to do is to clearly realize that this person is indeed no longer there, and life always comes and goes, just like the transition of spring, summer, autumn and winter, which is the law of nature, and can express nostalgia and respect for the deceased through some specific rituals, procedures, prayers, etc.
Second, it is necessary to adapt to the environment in which a loved one has passed away.
Loved ones have a unique place in their hearts and families and can never be replaced, but bereaved family members will eventually have to adapt. When you know that some things are irreparable, don't give yourself too much psychological burden, adapt to the new environment as soon as possible, and come out of grief.
Third, it is necessary to transfer the affection for the deceased relatives to the surviving people.
Many people have misunderstood this issue and even thought that it was a sign of forgetting their loved ones and that it was disrespectful to the deceased. In fact, transferring the love for the departed loved ones to the living does not mean that there is no longer nostalgia, but it is a better way to remember.
Fourth, talk to someone who has been going through the same thing.
People who have experienced the same experience and have the same mental journey will support and comfort each other on the basis of understanding, and get out of grief together. Intellectually accept the inevitability of life and death. Life and death are both natural laws, and the loss of loved ones is inevitable, but it cannot be avoided, but death is another way of life to exist.
5. Force yourself to be busy and reduce the time you spend secretly hurting.
When people are in transition to sadness, their mood is low, they lose their loved ones, they will feel that they have lost everything, and they will temporarily despair of life. Only by keeping yourself busy can you effectively alleviate the level of pain and despair. A painful soul will see hope in its work, and only then will it have the courage to live.
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Answer: Adjust your mentality, and those who are alive will continue to live and continue to work. Over time, slowly you will fade away. In fact, birth, old age, sickness and death, everyone has to take this path. When you are alive, it would be good if you were filial and filial.
Find a relatively private space and let a rain of tears soothe the pain in your heart. Find a relatively secluded space where no one else disturbs you, let yourself cry and mourn your deceased loved ones with tears. Although tears cannot wash away the pain, it can relieve the degree of pain.
And emotions can be well sorted out through this cathartic way, which can gradually restore peace in our hearts. in order not to be defeated by pain. Then it alleviates and reduces the pain in the heart.
I always remember the question.
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How to deal with the pain of the death of a loved one?
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In the face of the loss of a loved one, you can start from the following three points to ease your emotions:
It is recommended to say goodbye to your father and heal from your grief.
We need to accept the fact that Dad is gone, and at the same time, we need to express all the sadness within us, rather than suppressing ourselves. We are going to say goodbye to Dad, and you can write a letter to Dad, which can start with: "Dear Dad, I want to say ...... to youThen, write down all the feelings and thoughts you want to express, and you can write anything you want, whether it is regret, guilt, reluctance, love, sadness, anger, ......can be written.
After writing, you can end like this: "Dear Dad, I bless you, please bless us, I am going to say goodbye to you now, I will live well with the love and support you have given me, and I wish you all the best".
Of course, you can also express your feelings and thoughts by talking to others, and the important thing is not to suppress your sadness, but to express and release it.
Replace grief with what works for you.
Constantly learning in various ways, learning to explore inward. Learn to be self-aware and always ask yourself, what am I worried about, what do I need? You can express yourself in a writing therapy way, and now you can use voice input, which can save time and get closer to complaining, but there is no response.
Try to do something that you are good at, or something that is helpful and valuable to others, to get a response, even if it is a meaningful comment. You can use the empty chair technique in psychology to express yourself by constantly complaining about two characters. Use sports, personal hobbies, or discovering the good in life to fill these sad things.
Regularly learn to improve your interpersonal skills and social adaptability. Find your own boundaries, which are your own boundaries and which are someone else's.
Learn to analyze before making a choice, to take responsibility once you have made a choice, and to accept any choices and consequences you make. If you accept yourself, you will not expect to receive affirmation from others, but you can learn to ask for help appropriately.
Growth comes little by little, try to think, learn to act, change will happen.
Channel your emotions often.
In addition to the sadness of Dad's departure, I feel that there are many other emotions and conflicts within you, and in the same way, do not suppress yourself, but always use reasonable ways to channel and release.
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Tell yourself that although your relatives are gone, they don't want you to live in pain every day, and if you live well, they will feel comforted in heaven.
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I think the first thing is to calm our minds, each of us will leave this world, this is the law of nature, no one can stop it.
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Tell yourself that there is no banquet in the world, and we must live bravely with the thoughts and blessings of our loved ones.
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1. Birth, old age, sickness and death are natural laws, and death is her ultimate rule, so don't be too sad.
2. When the reality cannot be changed, we can only learn to be strong, flowers bloom and fall, everything in the world has a beginning and an end, it belongs to the laws of nature, please don't be sad, life has to go on.
3. Birth, old age, sickness and death, the law of nature, don't be too sad, he will sense your filial piety.
4. We should now sincerely wish the deceased his sincere wishes, and wish him a good journey and rest in peace under the nine springs.
5. Birth, old age, sickness and death are the most common things, people cannot be resurrected after death, and people should live well, otherwise the old people will not rest in peace.
6. Your loved one has passed away, don't be too sad and sad, in heaven, he won't like you to be so depressed, cheer up, work hard, for your relatives.
7. The dead rest in peace, the living must muster up the courage to face life again, I will be by your side and support you! Condolences change.
8. People are going to go, whether to live or die is not something you can decide, he is an old man who goes to another place to live happily than in the world, and the festival is smooth and changeable.
9. Don't be too sad by the way. Take care of your body.
10. People cannot be resurrected after death, and the strength of the living is the best comfort for the dead. We have grown up, it is impossible for our relatives to accompany us for a lifetime, we will eventually face this day, I am also sad that this happened, I hope you will be strong.
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People will disappear from their own world one day, but he will leave memories for the people around him, although some people have passed away, but they will still have people who often miss them. We cannot but accept this fact calmly and mourn and change our ways.
In the case of the death of a loved one, there are actually many ways to adjust your mentality, mainly the following:
Clause. 1. Appropriateness can divert your attention.
I think it's very painful for a person to leave himself, especially someone close to him, and I've experienced this kind of thing myself, and I think the best way is to divert your attention, don't let yourself always be immersed in this matter, once you always let your attention be on the death of a loved one.
You won't be able to get out for a long time, and you'll be crying or uncomfortable all the time, and you'll be immersed in this sad emotion, so one of the best ways is to distract yourself from it, stop thinking about it, and let it pass.
Clause. Second, let time ** everything.
I found out that this thing is right, time can really ** everything At that time, when my relatives just left me, I was very painful in my heart, I really couldn't figure out why they were separated so quickly, I couldn't figure it out at all, and I was pessimistic about everything, but when time passed little by little, when time became slowly longer, when time was getting farther and farther away from the day of death, I realized that this matter was really slowly passing.
If your mentality is not very good, you have to know not to think about some bad things, you just live your life slowly, and life will slowly get better.
Clause. 3. Confide in your relatives and friends about your feelings.
What's the best thing to do when you're grieving? It is your relatives or your friends who are with you to cry and laugh with you, and when there is someone with you, you will not feel so lonely, and you will not be too sad about this matter.
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