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If necessary, you can use the help of a counselor. I had a colleague before, who often cried while sitting after falling out of love, and began to doubt herself, feeling that she was not good enough, and the key was that we couldn't help her. Later, I heard that she had gone to talk to a counselor, and her mental state was indeed much better.
In short, don't hold back when you encounter things, if you have any ideas, it's better to speak out boldly, and communicate with friends around you, it will really be much better.
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Just let it be. Don't worry too much about what's right or wrong. Enjoy life well, people are different individuals, and it is normal to have a little personality.
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Then don't seek change, be content with the status quo, learn to accept yourself like this, and find happiness from your current situation, life is not necessarily to live as you want, but no matter what you look like, you can be happy and comfortable, so don't force yourself.
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Enjoy it. Life is like this, accept what can't be changed, change what can be changed, and let yourself go. People's efforts need to be in the right direction, and when they find something wrong, they can stop the loss in time to reach the distance as soon as possible.
You can't change your background, you can't change the university you attended, you regret not working hard before, and you didn't get into the ideal university, but from this moment on, you can work hard to take the postgraduate entrance examination and Ph.D., and then go where you want to go.
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Then wait for someone else or someone to change yourself. It's a nice thing to fix.
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Reading more books on psychology must help. I think everyone needs self-confidence, so read more books and develop your confidence and strength. If a person has low self-esteem in his bones, he is easy to figure it out and blame himself even more.
It's a vicious circle, and it's a great way to get the energy to lift yourself through books. Learn to discover your priorities, find a sense of presence, and become confident, and there is nothing to fear.
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Then be determined to be yourself, as long as you don't change, the whole world will make way for you.
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It's hard to change yourself, but only by changing yourself can there be hope! Everyone has their own suffering, and each individual has his own destiny, and no one can replace the life autonomy of another person, even if it is with blood affection.
Life, whether it is untidy, guilty, or regretful, unsatisfactory is the real life. Time does not look back, but we need to have high morale to withstand the difficulties of life, and we need to have enough courage to bravely penetrate the obstacles of reality.
The world is very fair, no matter who you are, you must have a strong heart to endure the loneliness of moving forward. It is necessary to work hard enough to change the current status quo.
There is no need to compare people with others, because everyone has their own hardships, why do you want everything and don't work hard at all; There will be no pie in the sky, and there will only be traps on the ground.
We all know that success is not easy, but there are still so many people who do their best; Wealth, it's not easy, but there are still so many people who keep rising. It turns out that in this world, there is nothing once and for all, and the others we envy work harder than you.
Thousands of high-rise buildings rise from the ground, all the glory must rely on themselves, do not complain about the hard work in front of you, it is just paving the way for you, as long as you are willing to change, willing to work hard, life will definitely improve, do not hesitate, as long as you must insist on working in one direction, the quantitative change will sooner or later reach a qualitative change.
The child still knows how to get up alone when he falls, and the old man still knows how to make progress in learning when he is late; What's more, young people who are young and vigorous and infinitely youthful, what reason is there to give up the hope of getting up and continuing to work hard. People should not hold the mentality of luck, do not think that there will be rewards without paying, and do not expect that there will be success without effort.
Learning to change is to recognize the essence of life, to give yourself another way out, many things do not do, it is difficult to predict what kind of unexpected surprises it will bring you. Life is short, we must make full use of the time to do what we want to do, don't let the current conditions become our fetters, find the right direction for ourselves in the change, and eventually get the fragrance we want.
Dreams are achieved only if you rely on your own struggle; The goal can only be achieved if we persist in doing it.
There is no too late start in life, only too lazy to live up, what you want to rely on your own efforts, no one can replace you to live. It's hard to change yourself, but remember, there's hope until you repent and quietly change yourself.
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There are many reasons why a person may not be able to change themselves, and here are some of the common ones:
Fixed Mindsets: People often tend to cling to the ways of thinking and behaving that they have formed, which can limit our actions and thoughts, and hinder our acceptance of new ideas and ways.
Family and social environment: A person's behavior and way of thinking are often influenced by the family and social environment that can limit a person's development and freedom and limit their ability to be exposed to new ideas and perspectives.
Fear and insecurity: People may be reluctant to change themselves because of fear and insecurity, which may stem from past experiences or current situations, such as fear of failure, fear of other people's reactions, etc.
Lack of self-confidence: If a person lacks self-confidence, they may feel powerless to change themselves and may be sullen and not confident that they can achieve change.
Lack of willingness: Sometimes people may lack the will to change themselves, either because they are happy with their current state or because they feel that change requires too much effort or cost.
In conclusion, the reason for not being able to change oneself can vary from person to person, and it may be due to psychological factors, social circumstances, or various other factors. Understanding these reasons and trying to seek help may help foster personal growth and change.
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It is very difficult for a person to change himself, except in two cases, the person will change, first.
1. Encountering a major emergency.
In a short period of time, it was difficult for my heart to bear this huge pressure, and I suffered a tingling sensation every day. (e.g. death of a loved one, long-term illness, unemployment, loss of love, bankruptcy, debt, betrayal of friends, divorce, .......etc.)Because every day is spent in a situation of longing, nostalgia, and regret, it is possible to get better or worse.
Seeing that his thinking mode is to think in that direction, he will learn from the pain and want to change.
Secondly, daily contact with a good environment, accumulating day by day, imperceptibly, slowly changing personal temperament and concepts, just like a caterpillar.
Metamorphosis takes time to brew, and vice versa, because it is constantly and repeatedly input into the subconscious.
Otherwise, it is really difficult for people to change their existing thinking patterns and habits.
Why is this so, because people are habitual animals, if they think about everything, then they will not be able to move an inch, and they will leave the daily things to be dealt with by habit, and repeat past behaviors under the control of the subconscious.
Franklin, USA.
In the history of the United States, he was considered perfect by Americans, and according to what he wrote in Franklin's autobiography, in order to improve his shortcomings, he set up a catalogue of 13 virtues
Moderation Eating too much, not drinking too much.
Don't talk boring nonsense and avoid useless gossip.
Order Everything has its own beginnings and ends, and everything has its own end.
Decisive and decisive at the moment, not easy to change.
Thrifty, persevering in material resources, cherishing every inch.
Be diligent and cherish the time, so as not to work in vain.
Sincere, thoughtful, focused, and true.
Integrity: Do not slander others, do not seek personal gain.
Moderation is lenient and avoids extremes.
Neat body clothing, always keep it clean.
Tranquility is not happy because of things, not sad for oneself.
Chastity Purify oneself and cherish one's reputation.
Be humble Don't be arrogant, be humble to others.
Franklin chose one to improve every week, using a gradual approach, one by one, a list of 13 virtues, four times a year, to constantly reflect on and correct his mistakes, and to continue to practice throughout his life. In order to gradually improve and correct their own shortcomings, I try to ask how ordinary people can completely correct their shortcomings in a short period of time.
But some people think that change is not easy, just an excuse, an excuse, that is because you don't understand that people are habitual animals, when you spend every day complaining and blaming others, and suddenly you want to change 180 degrees, learn to praise, encourage others, and live with a positive attitude, do you think it is easy? Exercise is a good thing, but people who never exercise, exercise is a big pain, reading good books is a good habit, but for people who don't like to read, they may read books, and they have to dream of Zhou Gong.
went. So it's really not easy to change a person, and sometimes it takes a lifetime to make the change, because these experiences, values, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors have been with you for a lifetime. Whether it's good or bad, it's hard to change in the short term unless good habits replace bad ones.
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It's hard and difficult, change yourself, it's easy to say, but to do it, you have to really make a lot of determination, have tenacious perseverance, have supreme faith, 100% action, be strict with yourself, be a good person, and do things well.
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It's not easy. Margaret Thatcher said
Pay attention to your thoughts, as it will turn into words.
Pay attention to your words as it will turn into action.
Pay attention to your actions as it will become a habit.
Pay attention to your habits because it will turn into character.
Pay attention to your character as it will determine your fate.
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If you want to change yourself, you have to look at yourself, in fact, if you want to change yourself, it is difficult to say that it is not difficult, and it is not difficult to say that it is not difficult! It depends on what you think, but it's not difficult to change for the sake of the people you love...It's just time and perseverance! It depends on whether you have enough perseverance, if you have it, it is not difficult, if you don't have it, it is useless
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It's very difficult, after a long time, many things have become habits, and it is difficult to change. Unless you have a lot of perseverance or a clear goal or a reason why you have to change.
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We will all be more or less imprinted by some of the past, and some of them are even deeply rooted in our lives. Whether it is good or bad, it is a gift of experience, and for the bad, every time you face it, it will make you heartbroken and tortured in every way.
People who have experienced trauma since childhood, the formation of that gray personality has a huge impact on the trajectory of life in the future. This kind of personality is projected in all aspects, consuming the mental energy when facing similar problems. You say your life is over, you can't change yourself.
There is a saying: if you can't change the facts, you can change your understanding, and if you can't change the environment, you should work hard to adapt to the environment. Words are easy to say, and comfort and enlightenment are also necessary, but they can't really be cut off from the roots.
And what can really come out must be on oneself, relying on oneself to gradually accumulate enough positive strength from the daily days, and filter out the shadows of those traumas little by little from the wear and tear of the years.
Loosening your mind is actually a kind of forgiveness, what you can change is not the past, or even the future, but you need to face it with a different cognition and state, which is a kind of change.
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It's hard. It takes a lot of effort and self-sacrifice to change yourself.
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Yes. It's quite difficult, because I'm used to myself, so it's hard to change myself.
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There is no one in life who will not encounter difficulties. If you don't choose to change yourself and strengthen yourself, difficulties will become an obstacle to your progress, making you stop or even retreat.
The real difficulties are in everyone's hearts, and it is often not the difficulties themselves that defeat you, but the fact that you do not work hard to change yourself and do not strengthen yourself.
When difficulties arise, you must face them head-on, face them squarely, and then take corresponding measures and methods to overcome them. You need to give yourself a little more confidence and courage. In fact, when facing difficulties, difficulties are not so terrible.
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Want to change yourself? It is necessary to make a great determination and righteousness, not without longevity, to make a plan first, and it is best to have a supervisor to ensure that the plan does not fail.
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If you want to change yourself, it's hard to say it's hard, but it's not difficult to say it's not difficult! It depends on what you think, but it's not difficult to change for the sake of the people you love...It's just time and perseverance! It depends on whether you have enough perseverance, if you have it, it is not difficult, if you don't have it, it is useless
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The country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to change.
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Indeed it is! As the old saying goes: the country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to change.
I don't know, what do you want to change?
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First, make up your mind to change.
If you don't make up your mind, it's useless to know why you're going to change, because that won't lead to a start to action. People who are determined to do it will write down the parts of their goals to change honestly to themselves, make plans, determine the completion time, and honestly conduct self-review every day according to their own plans.
1.The most strict self-requirements can find a supervisor to supervise and evaluate themselves. In this way, you must first negotiate with the overseer and make a contract, and you must entrust him as the overseer of the change plan, and you must believe in the results of his observations, and you must believe in the scores he has evaluated, and there must be no objections.
2.Making a dream board for change is also something that a person who is determined to change will do, visualizing the goal of the change he wants to do, because the overseer may not be with you at all times, so there are many times when you have to supervise yourself, so you have to imagine yourself that an overseer is always by your side. For example, write the goal of change on your door or in a place that you can see at any time in your wallet, let those invisible eyes stare at your own change, remind you to accomplish your goal, otherwise you will change it when the overseer is there, and not change it when the overseer is not there, which is the reason why people with loose self-requirements are most likely to give up the change plan.
3.Tell everyone around you: "I'm going to change", why should I tell others about my own change?
Why don't you change it yourself? Because the more people know that you want to change, the more people will become your best supervisor, when you return to the original state, someone will take the initiative to remind you, when you change your achievements, there will be someone to remind you, when you relax yourself, these people will be the best help for you to change yourself. Wouldn't it be humiliating if you felt that success didn't change?
When you have this kind of thinking, it is already doomed that the change will not succeed! It is recommended that you give up early and don't waste everyone's time, because your determination is not enough, so in your subconscious there is the possibility that you may change your failure and change back to your original form!
2. Get moving.
3. Be honest with yourself.
Fourth, adjust quickly.
Fifth, play time efficiency.
6. Seize the opportunity and put it into action.
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This is the situation at home, I have cancer, and it looks really pitiful.
Finding yourself good for nothing is a sign that you are improving. When a person who is good for nothing starts to find that he is good for nothing, he will force himself to be good and useful. Therefore, it doesn't matter if you find yourself useless, the most important thing is how you can improve your current situation, how to make yourself better and better is the most important thing you should consider at present, instead of being confused and frustrated, you have to believe that you can become stronger, only by believing in yourself, you can get better and better, and you can get rid of the situation where you are useless. >>>More
1. Find something you like to do 2. Think about what you want to be 3. Concentrate on your work 4. Study more and exercise more 5. Go out and see more of other people's lives.