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The original family is very important to the growth of the child, and it may affect the child's life, especially those children who are unfortunate in the original family, and may have to spend their whole life to ** the scars left by the original family when they grow up.
The scar left by my original family is domestic violence, as if the previous men often abused their wives, I remembered when I was a child, my father would beat my mother when he was unhappy, and the beating was more and more ruthless, and my mother had no way out, and she had children, so she could only endure it, because I didn't want to fall in love when I grew up, and I didn't even want to get too close to boys, and I didn't have any male friends around me.
When I was in school, as long as the boy confessed to me, I would be afraid, I would no longer care about the boy, and even avoid the boy, I was afraid, afraid that I would live like my mother in the future, so when I got married, I never fell in love, and some of them confessed to me, but I refused all and hid.
Then I met my husband, he was very good to me, he has a good personality, my father is a more impatient person, so what I thought at the time was to find a person with a chronic personality, not like my father, he has a good personality and always talks gentle and gentle, and treats me very patiently, I understand his goodness, he has also told me many times that he has been married, but because of the shadow left by the original family when I was young, I was afraid when I thought of life after marriage.
He promised me that he would be good to me in the future, and there would be no domestic violence, and I accepted him after a long time, and then we got married, as long as we quarreled, as long as he spoke loudly, I would have a sense of fear, and he would regret it every time he couldn't help but talk loudly and quarrel, regret should not be like this when he knew I was afraid, and then he never spoke to me loudly, even if there was a conflict and quarrel, he went out directly, and came back after calming down, so the original family was not happyand sometimes really vulnerable.
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The original family plays a decisive role in the cultivation of the child's three views, and a poor original family will not only affect the child's character, but also lead the child to embark on a tragic life path.
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The family of origin is very good for the growth of children, they will grow freely in life without any worries, and a good family of origin will make children positive.
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The original family is the most complete family for the child, and there is the family affection he needs, so that he can grow up healthily.
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The impact is very great, and it may make the child retain some bad things, resulting in the child's three views are not correct, will not be considerate, not empathetic enough, etc., such a child needs to be transformed.
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Family of origin refers to a person's relationship with their parents or other close members after birth and the family environment in which they live. Family of origin has a crucial impact on an individual's emotional cognition and interaction style in adulthood. If the family of origin environment is not good, the child's ability to emotionally recognize and communicate may be affected.
Lack of communication and cooperation between parents in the family of origin, or a lack of intimacy, may lead to limitations in the child's emotional cognition or communication. It can also affect a child's sense of self. This means that these children may face emotional, cognitive and social impairments.
However, there are many other emotional experiences and relationships in life, and children can learn from the feedback of others and experience of emotional growth by actively participating in social activities and other interpersonal relationships. In some families of origin with higher cultivation and culture, parents may provide better education and nurturing opportunities for their children, and focus on cultivating children's emotional cognition and communication skills in the process of educating their children, which provides a positive impact on their children's growth.
In short, people who are negatively affected in their family of origin do not lose the ability to love others. It is possible for a person to develop healthy emotional cognition and emotional communication skills and find happiness by seeking help and by continuously improving self-awareness and emotional cultivation.
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Just because the child is born to you, first of all, there are some genetic factors like yours, such as personality, and brains, smart or slightly worse. The original family has a great influence on children. First of all, you guys will have a great influence on him since he was a child, because they watch your every move.
Listen to your words and they will learn. Children will imitate their parents, the people around them, what is good and what is bad, they are all received from you, for example, when he was a child, he followed others to steal, formed a habit, he may become a thief, or that kind of thief, or a robber, if he lives with an upright person from an early age and cultivates his correct outlook on life, he will become a very good person.
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"There are many people who use childhood for a lifetime, and there are many people who spend a lifetime of childhood. ”
When I saw this topic, I was sad, as if it was for me to look back on my unhappy childhood, a black-and-white period full of quarrels and crying, and I almost had to spend my whole life filling the void.
Family of origin is a sociological concept. It refers to a family in which children are not married and still live with their parents. A newborn family is a family formed by both husband and wife, and such a family does not include the parents of both spouses.
Each family is systematically arranged, and the family is divided into the original family and the new family. The family of origin and the new family are a set of relative concepts.
1. Character
I'm a people-pleaser, and it's inevitable because of my mother. My mother played the role of a heartless mother when I was a child. For me when I was a child, how to get my mother's love and how not to be left behind when my mother ran away from home became my main thoughts.
It is understood that many of the child's character defects are brought by the original family. Whether it is pride and arrogance, or inferiority and paranoia. Most people know that many of children's behavior and language are directly influenced by their parents or people around them, and they are imitated, not through book knowledge, such as parents' attitudes towards others, and daily living habits directly affect children.
2. The way things are handled
I read a short article about a child stealing a coin when he was young. Not only did his mother not stop him, but he also encouraged him, and he "accumulated a lot", stealing more and more, and finally went to the road of breaking the law.
We've all had that age when we couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong. The guidance of the family of origin plays a vital role in the child's life. There is a proverb that says, "Dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and the sons of mice make holes."
This sentence is not accurate, but it can confirm the influence of the family of origin on the child.
Will the mother who went to the road of crime regret that she did not stop that mistake at that time, and how sad it is that the person who wants to spend his life behind bars is not influenced by his original family.
3. Understanding of marriage
I stood there and watched my parents smash objects at each other, and I didn't understand, obviously, they should be the two people who love each other the most. ”
Have you ever seen a news on Douyin, by the end of 2022, there will be negative population growth, and the marriage rate of those who have entered the marriage hall after zero is exceptionally low, what is this phenomenon, I think there is a part, ** for those families who are not harmonious.
Whether it is an arranged marriage of elders or a fast food love flash marriage today. None of them seem to have resolved marital harmony. When encountering problems and being hurt, it is always that small family. Endless quarrels make children lose hope for marriage from an early age.
None of us have ever seen the warmest appearance of marriage, we all yearn to be the loved side of marriage, so we all selfishly ask for love. The impact of our family of origin on our attitude towards marriage is lifelong.
Summary: Home is a safe haven, and the family of origin is the child's first teacher. I hope everyone will spend their childhood ** for a lifetime.
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1. The impact on the child's personality. People with poor acoustic families can easily affect the child's personality. Some people will say that personality is innate, but most of it is due to the environment, half born and half acquired.
The character flaws brought by the original sound family sometimes have to be made up for in a lifetime, and most of the bad children in the original sound family have extreme personalities, easy to think too much and very insecure, and have lost the ability to love because they have not been loved. Low self-esteem and introversion are synonymous with them, and they are prone to mental exhaustion, and more seriously, some extreme people are irritable, explosive, and violent due to the influence of their families, and they are easy to do things that harm society. These character flaws lead to most people living in ** childhood all their lives, and others will not understand them, and they are a little out of place in this society, not to mention how they will live in the future, and it is difficult for most people to change such a character in their lives.
And those children with happy families, because they get enough love from their parents, they are very confident in what they do, they are also very cheerful, and they are very popular with others, the kind of children who are raised by the rich are very confident in their bones, while people with poor original families are not confident in their bones, they are not confident in doing anything, and even because of the defects of the new song, they are easy to get depression. And it's easy to care about other people's opinions, and paying more attention to other people's evaluations makes it easy to be squeezed by others, and thus fall into a dislike for yourself.
2. The impact on the child's outlook on life.
As the saying goes, "dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes give birth to phoenixes, and the children of mice will be impressed", and many news can confirm this point of view, whether it is genetics or acquired influence, it has a great impact on the original family. Parents' thinking is likely to be reflected in the child, what kind of parents have what kind of children this sentence is very right, especially in economically backward areas, some backward concepts have been circulating is caused by this factor, some children who do not read because they do not know how to distinguish between right and wrong, will only follow the behavior and even thoughts of their parents, most of the people who do not read and have a weak sense of law are likely to have a certain impact on their children. And the thinking of a person with a poor family is very limited, and he only thinks that what he thinks is right, and there is no normal three views.
They are immature, and some even have no sense of responsibility.
3. Very lack of love.
Boys and girls alike tend to develop a pleasing personality because they don't have a certain emotion in the acoustic family, and deep down they crave the love of others. Especially in the process of falling in love, it is easy to think that the person is very good because of some small favors, which leads to a high probability of meeting a scumbag. In interacting with people, it is easy to be PVA by others, and some are even unaware.
Fourth, dare not spend money.
Due to the poverty of their parents, they dare not spend money, and even if they grow up and achieve economic freedom, they will subconsciously dare not spend money, and sometimes even feel guilty.
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A person's family of origin has a great influence on the development of his life, but it is not the only factor that determines a person's fate. A girl from a bad family of origin can also be happy, depending on her own efforts and changes in the environment.
First of all, a girl can change her destiny through her own efforts. No matter how big the setbacks, we can choose to believe in our own strength and potential and put them into practice. Girls can improve their knowledge and skills through reading, studying, working and socializing, and increase their self-confidence and independence, so that they are more likely to be happy.
Secondly, even if a girl's family of origin is not good, she still has the opportunity to get a good environment and support. In modern society, public resources and services such as education, medical care, and law have been gradually improved, which can provide a person with a guarantee of life and development. At the same time, there are also many volunteers, social workers and other organizations and individuals in the society who are willing to help those in distress and give them support, advice and care.
Therefore, even if a girl encounters misfortune in her family of origin, she still has a chance to be happy, the key is for her to believe in herself, enrich herself, face life positively, and ask for help when she needs it.
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The original family is very important to the children. The child lives in a harmonious and warm family, which is very important for his character cultivation, the formation of the outlook on life, and so on.
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There are character flaws. If the home is like a battlefield, parents will often break out in front of their children to quarrel fiercely, even verbal abuse, fights, children growing up in such a family are some high and inferior, some sensitive, some are easy to be irritable, in short, regret will make the child's character flawed. 2. Influence the concept of love and marriage.
People who have witnessed and experienced long-term quarrels with their parents will lose confidence in love and marriage, find it difficult to develop a sense of dependence on other people, and even distort their view of love. Because of the fear of quarreling, afraid of a quarrel like a shrew hysteria, so it will be very patient, even if it is about to drive itself crazy, never say a word; I am afraid that after getting married, I will also live this life of arguing every day, so I resist this pattern of life.
3. Self-loathing and lack of self-confidence. Some parents will say every day that I am not divorced for you (the child), but I don't know how much harm such words will cause to a child, he will think that your quarrels are all because of him, and always think that he is a wrong existence. Most parents who are prone to quarrels also lack tolerance and patience for their children, and some will even use their children as a punching bag, beating and scolding and belittling at will, which will not only cause children to lack self-confidence and optimism, but also produce a sense of self-loathing.
4. Subconscious repetition of imitation. The irritable emotions that parents show in front of their children, or even big fights, will be imitated by children. The original family is subtly shaping the child's personality and influencing his behavior, and subconsciously learning to be emotionally uncontrollable and quarrel with others.
Even if I think about it all the time, I will never become that kind of person, but before I know it, I have learned to get along with my parents. 5. Causing tearing pain in the child's heart. Some couples don't quarrel and prefer to solve problems by fighting a cold war and dealing with it indifferently.
However, this cold family atmosphere is even more lethal to children. Children are very sensitive, parents do not talk to each other, children are actually afraid. Some children will get attention and love by getting into trouble, and they will keep getting into trouble.
There are also children who get sick and injured, just to let their parents come to see them together.
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