In the process of children s growth, what pitfalls should parents avoid?

In the process of children's growth, parents really have to avoid many things, such as spoiling children too much, this is a kind of harm to children, definitely not to the child's meticulousness, spoiling children will really ruin the child's life, so when we educate children, we must pay attention to some. <>

For example, you must not be overly spoiled, which will make the child grow into a particularly bad habit, in some major aspects of right and wrong, you must have a strict management of the child, and then let them know how to judge right and wrong, which is also good for them in the future. <>

For example, there are many schools that do not hesitate to let students buy some useless textbooks in order to earn more profits, which may cause trouble to some economically poor families, so parents should choose these problems seriously.

The first is to avoid dangerous things, because there is nothing more important than life safety, and secondly, we should avoid everything that is not good for the child's physical and mental health, because we all want the child to grow up healthy and happy, and secondly, we should pay attention to the child's mental health, so that we can grow up healthily.

In the process of children's growth, you should closely observe the changes in the child's heart, because there are some children, they do not know what is right and what is wrong, so when the child has some mistakes, you must correct it in time, because if you do not correct it in time, it may affect the child's life in the future.

In the process of children's growth, we parents must pay attention to rewards and punishments, so that children have a correct view of right and wrong, we must not blindly indulge their children, and let him forget his own code of conduct, and we parents must play a leading role.

In the process of growing up, as parents should give their children the correct outlook on life and values, educate their children well, should not spoil their children too much, and should not indulge their children.

Parents' emotions affect their children's personalities, such as: when you encounter a problem, do you first get angry and then find a way to solve it, or calm yourself down first and then find a way to solve it. The effect of these two methods on the child is very different, because the child is watching you and he is imitating.

Pitfall. 1. Excessive spoiling and indulgence.

There is an old saying in China that "habitual children are like killing children", but many parents seem to have left this sentence behind, and now children are treasures in the family, enjoying the love of this bunch of people, and some parents love their children in the way that they mistakenly think that they give their children everything they want, meet all the requirements he makes, and no one can lose their children.

Pitfall. 2. Excessive attention and protection.

Nowadays, many families are four or six adults around the child, and there will be the problem of excessive attention and protection.

I think educating children should avoid the following:1Excessive doting and indulgence, unlimited satisfaction with children.

2.Excessive attention and protection, not allowing children to deal with problems independently. 3.

Overly strict discipline, always see the child's shortcomings, not see the child's advantages at all, and especially like to hit, deny, and sarcastically mock the child.

I'm doing this for your own good; I gave birth to you and raised you, and you must listen to me; Why can't you be like other kids. Parents must always correct the relationship between themselves and their children, and conduct psychological counseling for themselves.

To train children, we must first be obedient.

How many families, the way of parenting is: you have to listen to your mother, this is not good, that is not allowed. There is no reason, you don't listen to your mother, your mother is looking for your father to beat you, etc.

In front of their parents, the child is completely a teacher-student relationship who has been taught, and if he does not do it right, he will be severely criticized and blamed, causing most children to dare not try to do anything. If some parents think that their children are naughty, they will threaten to say, you are like this, your mother doesn't want you anymore, and she throws you to whoever you want, which makes the child very insecure, and it is easy to become a well-behaved and likable personality. Living in the evaluation and education of others, I dare not go again.

In fact, what parents do is only to provide counseling, to give children a good attitude, to make children feel comfortable like friends, the warmth of the family, so that children will not feel terrible in the face of external education.

Article**1 longs for how good the child is, but has no clear goal.

How many parents want their sons to become dragons and daughters to become phoenixes, but what about their children, parents do not have a clear goal, anyway, you just give me the test, and the first test is the dream of all parents. I didn't do well in the test and scolded the child.

But ask parents, what have you done under the premise that your children do not have self-control and no outlook on life? Is there a study plan for your child? If the child can't learn, he will say that the child is stupid, and if the child spends a long time, he will scold the child for not studying seriously.

Children's morality, intelligence, physical fitness, art and labor, what are the points that parents have to plan for their children? When something goes wrong with the child, it's all the child's fault.

Only emphasis is placed on examination-oriented education, and there is no cultivation of character.

Now children's education, most parents think that the most important thing is the child's grades, the child is sent to the study class at a young age, just for the child's brain development early, smarter, when going to school, parents are more for the child's learning of various supplementary classes, but do not really care about the child's personality training, the child may have a bad temper, but learn to be smart, parents feel that the temper is not a thing, the child is so tired of learning, as a parent to endure it. In fact, this kind of thinking is really harmful to your children.

Moreover, parents put their children's learning in the first place, and also make children feel that their learning is too big to be great, and the pressure does not increase We said in another way, such an education will inevitably make children squeamish and their self-care ability deteriorate.

Emphasis is only accumulation, ignoring hobbies.

Accompany children to learn dance, and see many children crying to their parents that they don't like to learn dance, but parents never think about why their children don't like to learn, and they also think that children don't have their own opinions, they are squeamish, so they force their children to learn dance, but the children have learned dance, and they have also become excellent dancers in this industry.

Everyone may be praising the child for being good and doing what he likes, but maybe only the child knows his heart, whether he likes it or not, one thing is to be numb, what is the like? It was probably strangled long ago at the age of three or four.

Article**2 Interfere too much, but do not observe the child.

Parents always feel that this is good, that is good, such as dancing is good, cultivating temperament,

Generally, parents will beat their children directly without listening to their children's explanations, which is very bad, and they must control their emotions.

First of all, when the child makes a mistake, he often chooses to beat and scold the child, and he does not see the child's advantages, the first thing is to encourage the child often, and be sure to find the shining point in the child.

I think there are some misunderstandings that may fall into: First, the emotions are serious, and parents will not be able to control their emotions and have a negative impact on their children. The second is vanity, where parents will force their children to learn something they don't like because of their vanity.

The third is the lack of praise for children. I think parents can communicate more with their children, understand their children's thoughts and wishes, and encourage and praise their children more.

There are no perfect parents in the world, and there are no parents who can't make mistakes. Parents with sound personality development know how to value their children's natural characteristics and not only provide their children with the needs for survival and growth. Criticism and accusations given to the child are tolerable as the child grows up and will not exceed the maturity of the child's physical and mental development.

And they believe that children are a gift from God, with innate value, and do not have to please and please their parents to love and feel safe. Because parents are spontaneously willing to build a warm and happy original family for their children.

There are three main reasons why parents are prone to make mistakes in the process of raising their children:

First, they do not know how to respect and revere the laws of children's development. Since the responsibility of parents is to raise their children, we should understand the laws of children's life development. A child's life development includes many aspects, such as physical development, cognitive development, psychological development, behavioral development, thinking development, language development, motor development, etc.

Every development in a child's life has its own laws, and parents should respect and respect the laws of their children's life development. However, due to the lack of research, dissemination and application of the laws of children's cognitive and psychological development in our culture, there is a lack of respect and reverence for the laws of children's life development in our parenting culture. About the laws of the child's life development.

Second, parents are not able to achieve the unity of knowledge and action. More and more parents have realized their lack of parenting knowledge and skills, and they have begun to study hard, however, after understanding these knowledge and skills, due to various reasons such as habits, environment, and pressure, they are unable to implement the new ideas and knowledge they have learned in their parenting behaviors, resulting in a state of disunity between knowledge and action. This state makes parents very entangled, unable to establish the right parenting style, and always praying for the healthy development of their children's body and mind.

For more information on how to achieve the unity of knowledge and action, readers can refer to "The Vocation of Parents: Returning to the Essence of Education and Improving Children's Personality Construction".

Third, the inheritance of wrong parenting styles. In our cultural tradition, the research, dissemination and application of the laws of children's cognitive and psychological development are missing. The upbringing and nurturing of children often continues the parenting style of the ancestors, so that it is passed down from generation to generation, and the parenting style that ignores the laws of children's development has been passed on for thousands of years.

When we become parents, we tend to raise our children the way our parents raised us, and the mistakes that our parents have made will be repeated in the process of raising our children.

In addition to the above three reasons why it is easy to make mistakes, every parent's own growth defects can also lead to mistakes in the process of raising children. Therefore, as parents, while raising their children, they should also repair their own various defects and deficiencies, so as to ensure the healthy growth of their children and make their lives more happy and happy.

These pitfalls are that parents will only blindly instill their own opinions when educating their children, and do not respect their children's ideas, which will only make the gap between parents and children deeper and deeper.

First: Good is good. I like well-behaved children, and I don't like well-behaved children.

Second: Unwilling to spend time with children. Always for the reason of making money, lack of time to spend with children.

Third: Scold when you open your mouth, and hit when you raise your hand. Too much violence can cast a shadow on the child's inner world.

When parents educate their children, they will always step on the pit, and when they can't control themselves, they will beat their children, scold their children, and scold their children very badly.

The biggest pitfall in educating children is it, remember to avoid it by taking a detour.

1.Blame the child.

Running to the center of the road, or putting another child into the swing, is generally considered a dangerous behavior, and parents must prohibit the child from doing things. But it is essential to avoid educating children in front of others. If you do this, he will probably pay more attention to those who catch your conversation and will not pay attention to the people you are trying to educate him.

Find a relatively private place to talk about what just happened to you without being interfered by other people. If you can't find a suitable place, you can simply point your child to the inappropriate place and let him know that you will talk to him later at home. At the same time, as it is said, you have to remember to keep this conversation going.

2.Give vague guidance.

In the past, you could tell your child countless times. "Don't put your jacket on the floor. "Why did he do it?

Maybe you can't think of it, she repeatedly taught the reason, most likely because he didn't understand what was going on. When we want to remind the child to behave, we must give instructions as much as possible. Tell your child what they should do and don't say "don't do anything."

3.To achieve the goal, give your child benefits ("bribe" the child).

This "bribe" to make children cry in public and guarantee them that they buy candy means that I believe many parents have already used it. This approach may have worked at the time, but there was no way to solve the problem of the underlying problem.

4.Ignore your child's hunger.

You can't expect your child to stay in good shape when she's hungry. Hunger can cause children to concentrate and exacerbate misbehavior in children.

Let the child listen before listening to us, you need to fill your stomach.

5.Keep talking.

Of course, we can criticize the child, but don't be embarrassed. For example, when your child puts a glass of water on a dog, you need to let the child know that the dog's behavior of splashing water is wrong. But his pranks don't need a long condemnation, and when you start speaking out, he may not be able to listen.

At this point, as long as it's easy to explain why pug isn't an appropriate behavior and inform the child that it can't do it anymore.

6.Whining, madness.

Imagine if your child loses their favorite earrings and goes to the toilet, will you still remain "Buddha"? Because of his anger, you are likely to yell.

But children shouting will weaken their understanding of what we are angry about. "The kids are either scared, or they've mastered the madness too," Dr. Neon said. Many times we will find that improving the door does not help us solve the problem.

More likely, we are more angry, and the child seems to be more and more "teeth". Therefore, we need to adopt a new strategy: use a calm tone to point out what is inappropriate in the child, and whenever the child replies as a reply, we indicate the result of the inappropriate behavior.