Help change the poem Thank you, help change this poem!!

The three watches have passed the sleeplessness, the window is still as white as silver, the plum blossom boiled snow idiot sits at night, and the meditation is more profound. The cold wind is sad, and the fluttering catkins are flipping people. Mo Yan Layue is ruthless, and Mei Xue accompanies the soul in the poem.

The night is deep, and the moon is as white as silver.

The silk catkins passed in front of him, and the cool breeze pierced his body.

The third watch has passed without sleep, and Wanduan thoughts are flying piece by piece.

Mo Yan's years are ruthless, and he spends his years with loneliness.

Wan Lai thinks more quietly at night, and the window is still as white as the moon.

The fluttering catkins dance in the air, and the sound of the cold wind becomes sadder.

The third watch has passed the sleepless, and the plum blossoms are boiled and the snow is sitting at night.

Mo Yan has little interest in the winter moon, and Mei Xue lingers in poetry.

Try to change it, and see a smile;

The silence is extinguishing and the night is getting thicker, and the jade pen field between the windows is going up;

Nine clouds fly down the white flocculents, and the wind rolls goose feathers and dances the silver dragon.

The three watchmen in the pavilion are not sleepy, and the snow boiled cold plum is red with stars;

Mo Yan Ladong is ruthless, and Yongxue sighs for the heroic.

The night was silent, and the window was already a silver screen.

Cut the cold wind and snow in the show, fluttering pear blossoms dancing in the sky.

The three watches have been sleepless, appreciating the plum and cooking the snow and chanting poetry.

Mo Yan has no leisure, and Mei Xue is drunk together.

It's not good, and I'm smiling.

Try to change it, it's ugly:

Wan Lai thought more quietly at night, but saw the moon like water in the window.

The fluttering catkins dance in the air, and the cold wind is sad.

Mo Yan Layue is ruthless, and Mei Xue is accompanied by poetic drunkenness.

Appreciating the plum and cooking the snow at night is obsessed, and the first update has been sleepless.

It's a bit winding, and the rhyme and content are a bit. The first two sentences are flat and rao. The special characters of the four sentences do not match the meaning of the sentence.

Five or six sentences feel like the order should be changed. Seven or eight sentences are very good, and to ninety people feel that there is a lack of transition. The last four sentences feel disconnected from the seven or eight sentences, and when viewed independently, nine sentences are not clear, and ten sentences are not correct with the words, so it would be better to change them to verbs.

And the last two sentences will be more infectious if they can bring obvious emotions, simple actions are not like drunk, and remove the words after throwing and lifting, and adding words with corresponding emotions before may be a bit eye-catching.

Personal insights.

It's hard to change the poem, I don't know what the author wants to express, how can I change it? Except for obvious errors in basic knowledge and common sense, the rest is difficult to start.

There is a problem with the poem as a whole, there is no theme. I can't see what kind of feelings the landlord wants to express. None of the sentences or two sentences in a row are beautiful, but when they are put together, they don't know what to do, and that's how I see it.

It's like a person, looking at it separately, the nose, eyes, eyebrows, ears, etc. are all beautiful, but when they are put together, how to look at it is not smooth.

In addition, as a poem, there must always be a rhyme, so that it is catchy to read. It can be . . . The end word rhymes, or . .

The tail word rhymes. It can also be a rhyme to the end, or it can be changed halfway, but not too much.

The words at the end of each sentence of your poem are: paper, work, wind, beads, heart, pine, and incense. Can't find rhyme.

The above personal opinions are for reference.

Changed to drunk wind and collect huge waves, it feels more charming.

Instead, the snow is lifted and dyed with fragrant plums It feels more charming.

I didn't understand what the whole poem was trying to say.