How to remediate education for parents who can t take their children with their own hands

Yang Yang's grandparents are at home after retirement, helping their daughter take care of the children. Yang Yang is very favored by his grandmother, sometimes, his mother criticizes him twice, Yang Yang immediately complains to his grandmother, so his grandmother turns around and blames her daughter-in-law: He is still young, ** understands so many truths, don't make him cry.

As a result, his mother's education plan often cannot be implemented, and Yang Yang thinks that he has a backstage boss, so he is more fearless and becomes more and more stubborn and willful, Yang Yang's mother is very anxious, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law becomes tense. The reason for the formation of this kind of intergenerational education is that many young parents, due to factors such as going abroad, going to the sea to do business, or being busy with their own careers, have no time to take care of their children, and entrust their children to their grandfathers or grandparents to take care of them, forming a structure of intergenerational families, so intergenerational education has also been produced.

The points of intergenerational family education: first, most of today's young parents are busy with work, and the problem of child care is a problem for them, with the help of grandparents, young parents can be relieved of their worries, so that they can go all out to work. The second is that most of the elderly love children, and they love their grandchildren and granddaughters, and the elderly have a certain experience in bringing children, and often do not have young parents who are more patient, meticulous in care, and have a regular life.

For children, if their parents are too busy with work, they can only get the warmth and happiness of family from their grandparents. Its shortcomings: First, the grandparents sometimes over-pamper the child, and the requirements for the child are often easier to meet, thinking that as long as it can be done, the child must not be wronged, so that the child is easy to become willful and does not know how to be nervous.

Because their ancestors were from the past, they had their own set of education theories, and they thought that the practices of their sons and daughters-in-law were "too fierce" or "too tough" and they did not understand very much, and they voluntarily stepped forward to be the guardians of their children. The parents of the children, seeing that the grandfather and grandmother are overly pampered by the child, are worried that it will affect the healthy growth of the child, so there are many disagreements on the issue of the child's education. Since the pros and cons of intergenerational family education coexist, it is necessary to give full play to the strengths and avoid the weaknesses, give full play to the advantages, and strive for the consistency of family members' parenting methods.

Otherwise, if the grandparents educate like this, the parents educate like that, or even quarrel in front of the children, the children will be at a loss, or they are not ambiguous, or they will go their own way, and some children will "exploit loopholes" between parents, and even produce two-faced behavior. So, how can we achieve the consistency of family education across generations? First, it is necessary to establish a rational sense of education.

In educating children, the forces can only be combined, and they must not be separated, and they should be "combined" in the correct educational thinking and educational methods. Grandparents communicate with the child's parents and cooperate with each other to educate the child, and there must be no double standards. Second, don't make conflicts in front of children in the process of children's education.

In this way, it will not only reduce the prestige of the elders in the eyes of the children, but also make the children disagree. 3. Subscribe to some family education materials, such as school bags, audio and video recordings, etc., and everyone will study and discuss together to form a consensus.

Fourth, grandparents and parents should respect each other, understand each other, tolerate each other, understand each other, and do not get angry with each other whenever there is a problem.

Many working women give birth to a baby after maternity leave, they will face such a choice, at home with children or go to work, even if some women feel that the baby is still small, it will be better to bring it themselves, but the conditions do not allow, so it is very distressing, so what to do with office workers who have no one to take children, what to do with office workers who have no parents to help take care of children?

Office workers who have no one to take care of their children can solve the problem by:

1. Ask your mother-in-law or mother to help take care of the children, you and your husband need to go to work, and you don't have time to take them, but your parents are not obliged to take care of your children, and you need to communicate and discuss them in advance.

2. You can also find a formal childcare agency to help take care of children, there are many such institutions now, which are very suitable for dual-income families, but parents should investigate in advance and choose a formal, reliable and responsible childcare institution.

3. If the economic conditions allow, you can also consider hiring a nanny to help take care of the children, but the quality of the nanny is uneven, and it is best to find an acquaintance to introduce it, which is more reliable.

4. Bao Ma can also find a job where she can take care of the child while working, such as working at home, **customer service, opening**, etc., and wait until the child is a little older, and then go outside to find a class again.

Bring it yourself... A lot of them bring their own.

Parents don't help take care of their children, and if conditions permit, hire a nanny. Parents definitely have their own ideas.

1. If parents and children talk about feelings, they will talk about feelings, and it is appropriate for parents to help their children, because children trust you and rely on you, just as you trust and rely on your children. If you talk about money, you will talk about money, and the parents will make it clear how to calculate the money with the child, and everyone will kiss the mother and child, and you can also settle the account, of course, if the parents are sick in the future, they need their children to go to the hospital to take care of them, accompany the bed, and give some nursing fees.

2. Parents have no responsibility to help themselves take care of their children, if they don't want their parents to have any intervention in bringing the baby, simply resign from the couple, take care of the baby at home full-time, and then look for a job when the baby goes to school. The couple is very hard, but they are more experienced and active than their peers, and the baby is more independent and better than their peers.

3. If you are rich enough and don't want to ask the elderly to take care of the children, you can hire two nannies, one full-time to take care of the baby, and one full-time to do housework. After work, the house is clean, someone cooks the meal, and the small life is leisurely. However, the vast majority of people do not have the financial strength.

The pressure of repaying the mortgage every month is not small at all, and the baby's expenses are really stretched. It's better to wait for the economic conditions to improve, and when you need your parents to help watch the children, you can rent a house for your parents in the community where you live.

4. One of the parents can consider becoming a freelancer. Some employers are not good at asking for leave, so I suggest that the father or mother can choose to quit their jobs, work as a freelancer, or find some work that works in the morning. For example, you can open a childcare agency, or work in a childcare agency, and now there are still many job opportunities like this, if you basically get off work at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, you can pick up and drop off your children.

As for the salary, it doesn't matter if it's less, it's impossible to have a lot of jobs that work and get more money.

First of all, the children are their own, parents have no obligation to help the children, and it is their responsibility and obligation as parents to take care of the children. Nowadays, most young people are busy working and going to work to earn money, so many of them give their children to their parents, and over time, this phenomenon will make us take it for granted that parents take their children. In fact, when we are old in the future, we also hope to be able to enjoy happiness, and it is okay to look at our grandchildren occasionally, and we will be bored with them all day long.

In addition, the child can also establish a more harmonious parent-child relationship by himself, the best time to establish a parent-child relationship is before the age of seven or eight, after the child goes to primary school, his self-care ability has been initially formed in all aspects, at that time you want to be close to the child is more difficult, because when he needs you the most, it is not you who accompany them, and the person they rely on the most in their hearts is not you.

Every stage of life has something to do at every stage, since you have given birth to a child, then you have to be responsible for them, growth is only once, maybe you are working hard now to earn money for the child to be able to live a better life. But have you ever thought about it, at present, for children, what they need is not to wear expensive clothes, live in a big house, go out and get in a good car, they may not need these, they only need the company and love of their families.

You may say that everyone wants to be with their children, but they need to live. That's right, life forces most of us to separate our flesh and blood, but there is always a compromise solution for everything, such as one person can go out to earn money, the other can take care of the children at home, and you can also do handicrafts at home, and it is enough to earn money to buy vegetables every day. Of course, if you have the ability, there are also a lot of jobs that can be done from home.

Another situation is that you are tired and don't want to take care of children, and you want to be a shopkeeper, then it's another matter. Don't know which situation you are?

Bring your own, parents are not obliged to help you take care of your children. It is the love of the elderly to help take care of the children, and it is the duty not to help the children. It is the duty of husband and wife to take care of their own children, and you don't have to take care of children, and you don't think it's a blessing.

There is an elegant old lady in our community, who has just retired at home, and every day she reads books, makes tea, arranges flowers, and occasionally goes downstairs for a walk with her wife. Every time my daughter-in-law sees an old lady, she sighs to me, hoping that she can still be an elegant woman when she reaches the age of an old lady.

But half a year ago, the daughter of the old couple gave birth to a child, and during this time, because the child's grandmother and grandfather had something to do and returned to their hometown, the old couple could only temporarily take on the job of taking care of the children. I watched this for two months, and when I came back some time ago, my daughter-in-law and I almost didn't recognize the old lady.

The long hair that used to be dyed dark red and permed with large curls is now significantly less, and there are a lot of gray hairs on the temples; It turns out that although there are fine lines, the ** that is still shiny has also become dull, and crow's feet and nasolabial folds have all come out. The old lady and my daughter-in-law sighed: It is really not easy to take care of children, just two months, and they are so old.

I think the rapid aging of the old lady in just two months comes from two problems: one is physically emaciated, and the other is psychologically collapsed.

Except for a few elderly people who like children and are willing to get along with them, I personally think that most of the elderly are actually unwilling to help their children take care of them deep down. It's hard work, but it also hurts feelings.

The matter of bringing children is very simple, what can happen if you don't have a child? It's not just the relationship between adults. You, for example, are thankless and are not human inside and out.

Young people feel that the old people are helping and at the same time adding to the chaos; The old man felt that the child was a hands-off shopkeeper through and through.

The crowd is full of gold, and the bones are destroyed. No matter how sincere the feelings are, they can't stand the slow erosion of the soft grinding and hard bubbles, so there are disagreements, disputes, and even big fights.

There is another reason, that is, because the body is really unbearable, and the physical strength is really unable to keep up. Raising children is a physical task around the clock. Mothers who take care of their children full-time or parents who have taken care of their children full-time for a period of time have a deep understanding that taking care of their children for a day is more tiring than working for a day in many cases, and this tiredness does not only refer to physical strength, but the kind of tiredness that is physically and mentally exhausted.

Your own children, of course, you bring them yourself, and parents are not responsible for bringing them to you. They've raised you back up, and you should take on the responsibility of being a parent. You may say that you are too busy to take care of the children, that is also your own business, since your parents do not want to help you take care of the children, you have no right to force them.

And it's safer to bring your own children. Let me tell you a story!

My grandmother's son, after he married his daughter-in-law and gave birth to a child, threw his son to his parents, and one day, his son, who was my grandmother's grandson, ran to the pond to swim while my grandmother was not paying attention, and accidentally drowned in the water. When the grandmother found out, the child was no longer saved, so his son's daughter-in-law resented her mother-in-law and took her husband to attack her mother-in-law as well.

In fact, my grandmother is at fault, her own child is not brought to an old man, and now the child has something to blame for her mother-in-law for not taking a good look at her child, my grandmother is really pitiful, when she died, her son did not come back to worship. Does a son have the right to blame his mother?

And today's children, what they need most is maternal love and father's love, throw the child to their parents, and if he is closer to their grandparents in the future, you don't feel that your child is not filial. Because you stay away from the child first, whoever brought the child from an early age will kiss whomever he wants. So, parents should bring their own children!

When your children grow up, it's not too late to go out to work! Isn't it true that making money is more important than raising children?

Parents don't help with their children, it's best to communicate with their parents first, and everyone sit down and talk calmly to see if there is a compromise way for parents to help them share the burden of taking care of their children.

The elderly do not want to take care of the children, and generally hope that the daughter-in-law will take care of the children by herself, so that they must give up their jobs and become a full-time wife at home. If a wealthy family is okay to say that there is no car loan and no financial distress, then the woman should take care of the children by herself, after all, the children are their own.

However, if the family's economic conditions are not good and they need the salaries of the young couple to maintain it, then it can be said that there is no "qualification" to be a full-time wife. Therefore, talk about these difficulties with the old man, and the old man can also help you think of a way.

Discuss with the elderly, see if you can let the elderly help take care of the children on your weekdays, and the children will be taken care of by your young couple at night, which will not disturb the sleep of the elderly. On Sundays and holidays, the children are completely carried by your young couple. In this way, the elderly will be able to have some time for themselves, and you will be able to keep your job from giving up.

Secondly, properly adjust the work of the couple, taking care of the child is not a matter for the mother alone, and the father is also responsible, and it is still an unshirkable responsibility. So when the old man "swore not to take children", the couple discussed with each other whether they could properly adjust each other's work, and strive to take care of children and work at the same time.

In addition, you can also consider asking a nanny to go home, if the mother's salary is very high and she has her own career to do, then there is no need to force the elderly to help take care of the children, whether it is a mother or a mother-in-law, there is no need to ask them to take the children. Let the people around you help find a more reliable nanny, please go home and help you take care of the children, so that this matter can be completely solved, and whether it is the elderly, sons and daughters-in-law, or children, there will be no problems.