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Family is a scary place. Many people's parents are the source of their troubles. You're an adult now, but you're still afraid of disobeying them, of being upset by them, of not supporting you.
These are all habits that have been cultivated since childhood, and they are not normal. You can't live your whole life in fear of them and expecting their acknowledgment. It is easy for parents to use their own will to take care of their children's lives.
You have to become independent and realize mentally that you are separate from them, that you are an independent individual, that you have your own life. You don't need to live for them to be happy. If you make them unhappy because they're going to live their lives, let them be depressed.
They are adults and must learn that children are not pets, they are not here to make you happy. You are not a pet and did not live to please them.
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The louder she shouted, the more scared she actually became. She didn't refuse to let go because of your good, she was because she had been a housewife for decades, and if she let go, what else could she do? Your dad doesn't help you, not because he loves your mom so much, it's because he knows that he won't sacrifice you, and then your mom will start to take care of him.
Therefore, there are ways to do it, depending on whether you can do it, and whether you are willing to do it.
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Please understand that no one but yourself will be responsible for your life. When you can really be independent, dare to love and hate, and dare to act, then throw away my answer and care for your family with love.
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Whether they are strong or not has a lot to do with you. This strong distinction is made between "good for you" and actually good for you. First of all, parents are respected, but they are not inferior.
A family's right to speak is often an individual's ability to enhance the family's status with the help of external advantages. For example, my mother 20 years ago and 20 years later, and 5 years ago and now.
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You can't give up your own ideas, you can't make any compromises. For your own affairs, for you now, even if it is a small thing, you must resolutely stick to it. The more you compromise, the more you will regret it, and even a small compromise will increase their determination to "change" you.
Some people can only meet once in a lifetime, and some opportunities and industries only have one choice in a lifetime, are you willing to give up?
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Find a job, move out after standing on your own, and write a letter: She (your mother) will always be old, you will have to decide your own future one day, thank you for your kindness, the money for studying will be returned to her in the future, and you will take care of her if she needs it in the future. However, if you can't breathe like this, it's better not to contact you.
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The influence of father's strength and mother's weakness on children, sometimes a feeling that fathers are cowardly and mothers are strong to children is that the family is not harmonious, because the mother is too strong, so the temper will be big, and then the father is too weak and will not make a noise when he encounters anything, so over time it will make the child think that once the family quarrels, it is always the father who fails, giving people the feeling that the father has no ability.
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In this way, the child will learn the same. You have to be a strong mother and let your children know that men are responsible. Don't go along with your child.
You have to tell your child that you are a boy and that you have to be responsible. Have the courage to take responsibility and don't let your mother do everything. Mom is a girl, so she has to take care of you more.
Don't let your mom do everything. You have to let your dad know that you are also a boy and have to be manly. Be responsible.
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How does the mother being strong and the father being weak, how does this affect the child?
The ideal relationship between family members should be equal to each other, mutual respect, and a cooperative relationship that grows together, that is to say, husband and wife are cooperative, and parents and children are also cooperative, and the growth of children needs to cooperate with each other in the family relationship, and the strength of either mother or father will make the cooperation between husband and wife unbalanced, so that respect, equality, and trust have nowhere to stand, when the cooperation between husband and wife is unbalanced, we are equivalent to forcing the child to a helpless choice, that is, the child either joins the mother's side, Either join Daddy's side.
Parents represent a part of the child's personality, and the part of the father usually represents strength, which is outward, and is the part of the external world, just like the social image of men we usually see, so if the father is relatively cowardly, the mother is more strong and keeps hitting the father and suppressing the father. If it's a boy, it's possible that this part of his male power won't be able to grow well.
If it is a girl, she has been accustomed to seeing a strong mother treat a cowardly father since she was a child, and she will form such a concept that men and women should get along with each other in this way, and when she grows up and gets married, she is also likely to bring this mode of getting along with husband and wife to her own married life. If her husband is also cowardly and can adapt to her strength, then life can still go on like this. But if her husband is not a cowardly person and can't stand her arrogance, then her marriage is likely to have problems and it is difficult to have a happy married life.
If the strong mother gives birth to a son, and the father is more cowardly and has no manhood at home, then the little boy will be greatly influenced by the mother and will slowly become a mother's treasure man, and you will become unassertive. And in his ideology, he will also think that men are born to be managed by women, and to be ** by women, they will be obedient. When he grows up and enters married life, it is very likely that he will be controlled by both his mother and his wife.
If his wife is also a strong person, then his life may not be easy. If there is a conflict between the mother and his wife, it will be difficult for him to coordinate the contradictions between them, and in the end, it is the boy himself who is angry, and he is in a dilemma.
If the mother is strong and the father is cowardly, it is very likely that the little girl will continue to learn from her mother's strong style and not take the man seriously. It is also possible that it will not make the boy unassertive and unmanly. In the future, he will become a mother's boy, and his married life will not be so happy.
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It will affect the child's personality development, lead to the child's cowardly ability in the face of problems, lead to the child's incomplete cognition of the family concept, lead to the child's weak thinking ability, and affect the child's vacillating thinking in the face of problems.
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The child will be very insecure, will become very inferior, has a bad relationship with his father, especially wants to leave the family, and the child will be very depressed.
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Each family has a different way of educating children, family and parents are the first teachers of children, what kind of parents are, often what kind of children will be educated, but there is a kind of children educated by parents often have a bigger problem, that is, strong parents. Because parents are too strong, they always want to impose their own requirements on their children, require their children to complete the standards they have set, not to resist, and to firmly hold their children in their own hands, so parental strength is not a good thing for children, and it will even cause a lot of harm to children.
Extremely rebellious
Children will gradually have self-awareness in the process of growing up, they will no longer feel that what their parents say must be right, and they are not willing to do things according to their parents' words, but parents are too strong, they will ask children to listen to their parents, so it is easy for children to rebel and do against their parents, so it is easy to lead to extremely rebellious children, some children are obedient on the surface, but they are very resistant to their parents' words in their hearts, especially when children are rebellious. If you have been suppressed by your parents for a long time, it is likely that it will suddenly break out one day, and the consequences will be unimaginable.
Lack of assertiveness
Strong parents will take care of their children's big and small things, and they can't tolerate their children's objections, because they have been suppressed by their parents, and their children's voices and opinions are never listened to. But such children do not have their own opinions, and once they leave their parents, they do not know what to do and how to choose.
The character is very cowardly
If the parents are too strong, the child will always be on the defensive, because of the fear of doing something wrong, the fear of being scolded by the parents, in order not to be scolded by the parents, the child may lie and deceive the parents, or obey the parents. Because parents who are too strong will make their children subconsciously feel that they will be scolded if they do not obey their parents, and once they are scolded, they will be afraid, and they will become more and more cowardly and less confident over time.
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There are disadvantages, in this way, it will cause children to become more and more sensitive, and they will become more and more inferior, and at the same time, they are unwilling to express their inner thoughts, and then they will be more and more distant from their parents, and they will be unmotivated to do things.
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It will lead to the child's lack of assertiveness, causing the child to become very inferior and sensitive, and have no idea about what to do, go with the flow, and have no ideas of their own.
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It is very bad for children, because it will lead to children who are particularly cowardly and timid, and at the same time, it will also lead to children's special insecurity, so that children have no way to integrate into the collective, and will also make children particularly introverted, which is not conducive to children's character development, and can not make children have a healthy and sunny attitude.
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When parents are too their children, children may feel frustrated and stressed, which can affect their mental health and social skills. Here are some ways to deal with parents being too their children:
1.Avoid excessive punishment: Avoid parents being too harsh and over-punishing their children. If parents constantly punish and suppress their children, it often leads to more frustration and negative attitudes towards learning and social problems.
2.Accept your child's shortcomings: Parents need to accept their children's shortcomings, especially when their children are facing difficulties and failures. Parents can encourage them to keep working hard and focus on progress and growth.
3.Establish good communication: Establish good communication and interaction with your child so that they can freely express their thoughts and feelings.
By understanding your child's thoughts and needs, you can better meet their developmental needs. and understand the differences that exist in the process of understanding the individual.
4.Encourage children to develop their own strengths: Every child has their own interests and strengths, and parents can help their children discover and cultivate their own interests. This can increase the child's enthusiasm and confidence in life.
5.Adjust the family atmosphere: Create a friendly, warm, and optimistic atmosphere in the home. Parents should remain calm and patient, provide understanding and support, and treat their children equally.
In short, parents should pay attention to their children's feelings and psychological health, avoid being overly strict with their children, and create a good family atmosphere. At the same time, children are encouraged to develop their own interests and strengths, and provide necessary help and support.
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So are you the child's grandparents, grandfather, or the child himself? You should have a good talk with this parent, Pai Lianchang should be tolerant of the child, not too strict, then the child will not be able to accept it.
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When it comes to a strict father, I think my father should be the most severe, although I am a girl, but I was also beaten by my father since I was a child. Regardless of whether it was a trivial matter for me to do something wrong, my father always liked to communicate with me in a way like "hitting". When I was a child, I was also very distressed, and I was very afraid of my father, and sometimes I had to think about a word to my father for a long time, and I was afraid that I would accidentally step on his lightning point and then be beaten again.
So my childhood can be regarded as perfect as not stupid Sobi, but also often lived in fear.
But after I went to high school, I was beaten by my father less often, not because I grew up, not because my father suddenly understood, but because I learned how to communicate with my father.
In fact, many times your father is very strict, yes, but they don't love you, they just don't know how to love you, so they can only use the way of "beating" to educate you and let you understand some truth. A strict father is the standard in almost every family, but as long as you do what your father says and take the initiative to communicate with him, you will find that his father is really not as terrible as we imagined. When I learned to communicate with my father, I realized that he was actually a young boy who had not grown up, and sometimes, like me, he was afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting his mother.
If you feel that your father is too strict for you to feel particularly unbearable, you should go to the ditch with him to raise the rope. I believe that every father loves his children very much, and the reason why they are so strict with you is precisely because of their love for you, maybe their way is not right, so you feel that they are particularly difficult to get close to, and they are particularly strict, but these problems can be solved by communication. In fact, every father loves his children very much in his heart, and the stricter he is with you, the more he loves you, but if this strict love makes you a little unbearable, you just need to talk to him well.
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