Why is the relationship between mother in law and daughter in law in Chinese families so difficult?

The only contradiction in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that the mother-in-law pulled her son up with hard work, but he was controlled by his daughter-in-law. But the daughter-in-law thinks that the man who shares the bed with her has to listen to her mother-in-law in everything, and she is not the same heart as herself at all, and she is also resentful. ‍‍

Differences in ideology and culture. In my mother-in-law's time, most of them were poor peasant families, and there may have been many brothers and sisters, and they had to save food to make ends meet. At the same time, the education is relatively low, and the education level may not have graduated from primary school or junior high school, so the education level is relatively low.

And the era when the daughter-in-law grew up is different, and life is not like the past when she didn't have a meal after eating, tightening her belt and living a life. The education he received was also relatively high, and he knew more about the world, and he longed for a free life. Therefore, it is inevitable that there will be conflicts in educating the next generation or lifestyle.

Lack of communication between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In modern society, most husbands and wives have each other's jobs, which leads to a lack of communication time between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law does not know what her mother-in-law likes to eat and what she is busy with at home. And the mother-in-law doesn't know how the daughter-in-law usually works at work, whether the pressure is high, etc.

After the lack of communication, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may quarrel over trivial matters.

When you have a baby, the whole family is happy at first, and gradually in the process of growing up the baby, there will be more and more friction, your modern thinking and your mother-in-law's old thinking will have a fight, and in the process of raising a child, you will have more and more opinions about each other, and the relationship will become more and more stiff when it accumulates to a certain extent. ‍‍

Each other's positions are different. The mother raised her son to marry a wife, and in this process, the energy and time spent by the mother on the child can be described as more difficult than the story of 9981 in Journey to the West. There are old sayings:

Knowing a child is better than a mother. Mothers know their children very thoroughly. And the daughter-in-law's understanding of it may be the time they experienced together during the love period.

Therefore, the position of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law on the issue is different.

That is true. From a young age, the closest thing a son is to his mother. But since the daughter-in-law came, the mother's status has declined sharply.

Therefore, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in our Chinese family is so difficult. Give birth to a boy, and your mother-in-law will give you a good face. If it's a girl, your mother-in-law will not only not give you a good look, but will also kick you out of the door.

Ma Bao Nan is looking for a capable wife, and his mother-in-law can also do it, so he fights, his mother-in-law is weak, how strong his son is, looking for a gentle, beautiful wife, complementary, but this wife is scheming and relies too much on people, so her mother-in-law feels sorry for her son, and her mother-in-law doesn't understand that love is complementary, and if her husband can let go, she can't let go of her daughter-in-law, selfish, and women are more selfish.

The struggle for power is mainly manifested in the arrangement of affairs in the family. For example, the difference in values between the two generations will lead to differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in terms of how they behave in the world, how they treat others, and how they consume. ‍‍

The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live separately, and the contradictions are mainly in the following points: 1. The intervention of the two families in the young couple causes unhappiness; 2. The young couple is too dependent on their parents, and both parents are involved in right and wrong; 3. The concept of raising children is different. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live under the same roof, and conflicts arise every second, and the reasons are too numerous to summarize.

Emotional dispute, I believe it is easy for everyone to understand, simply put, that is, the mother-in-law has a deep love complex, worried that her son has a daughter-in-law and forgets her mother. ‍‍

It is said that the older generation saves, our family is just the opposite, my mother-in-law, with the living expenses we give, no plan or arrangement, buying things is never more cost-effective, no matter how expensive, no matter how bad the quality is, as long as she wants it at that moment, she must buy it back. Rural mother-in-law, whose family background is very average in the countryside, has an extremely serious comparison psychology, and when she sees that others have a sprinkle, she wants to have a sprinkle, and tries her best to get that sprinkle. Pregnant came to help us cook, and every day I came home from work to stir-fry because she said she didn't cook well.

If you don't know how to teach, if you don't want to learn, if you don't do it, let it go, keep chanting on the side, don't put pepper, don't put pepper, ......It's really the kind of seamless connection that can't be inserted into the needle. Sometimes it's really emmm ......Excuse me, how do you get along well and break like this?

This is because many in-laws do not pin their hopes for life on themselves and their husbands, but always on their sons and daughters-in-law, and even grandchildren.

Many old people are giant babies who can't do without their sons, have no friends, no hobbies, are ignorant and ignorant, have no virtue, lack of quality upbringing, can't respect others, and feel that their daughters-in-law are superior, insulting, slandering, and even some distorted old people will want their sons to beat their daughters-in-law. After all, they have suffered such treatment for a long time, and they have also been embarrassed and bullied by their mother-in-law, and domestic violence was common among men in the past.

Mother-in-law always thinks that the daughter-in-law should be filial to her, and thinks that this is a matter of course, but two strangers live together, Hao has no blood relationship, and there is no emotional foundation, and women and women are easy to have friction.

When you go from a pampered young lady to nothing after marriage, your mother-in-law will be dissatisfied with you. When your husband's focus gradually falls on you and neglects her mother, your mother-in-law will be dissatisfied with you.

First of all, the daughter-in-law has her own mother, and the mother-in-law can't do it to her good mother-in-law, many mothers-in-law think that it is a good thing for her son to get married, but when she sees the husband and wife show affection after marriage, she will be jealous, and gradually, she said that the daughter-in-law robbed her son, and slowly there were more contradictions between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

If, as many people say, the mother-in-law is asked not to participate in the life of young people, then it is necessary to complement each other and do not need material help from the mother-in-law after marriage. But now many young people are enjoying the financial assistance given by their mother-in-law with peace of mind, but they also keep asking their mother-in-law to retreat. Every mother in the world is selfless and busy for her children, and the young daughter-in-law will become a mother-in-law one day.

The mother-in-law is too angry, she scolds a lot, she doesn't know her own weight, and she regards herself as the queen mother.

My mother-in-law thinks that you are my family when you marry, so you have the obligation to be a daughter, and my daughter-in-law thinks that I am your family when I marry, so I have the right to be a daughter, so many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a stiff relationship because they start with their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as their own.

When you first got married, you came to a new environment, and the relationship between your family members and your husband's family members is different, and between getting along, either you are dissatisfied or your mother-in-law is dissatisfied. ‍‍

One of her sons lives together, and the rural house is basically paid by her son, and they don't have much money for farm work, but of course they also do. When we got married, there were two floors, the outside was rough, and after I gave birth to my first daughter, I added a layer of decoration, all of which were my husband's hard money. The first time I met, I felt that the in-laws and rural people should be honest, and their own family background was not good, so they were determined to treat them well, God knows, I used to think that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were not good, the daughter-in-law was not good, the old man, rich experience, your daughter-in-law is good, they naturally know and will be good to you, until after marriage, the first daughter was born, and the daughter came back to live together 9 days before she was born (before she also made money with her husband in another area) to really understand that their youth and ignorance are ridiculous.

The in-laws themselves are very outdated, they don't understand anything (the point is not here) on these basis, their mouths are broken, calculating, stubborn, they have to take care of everything, they don't know how to pretend to understand, and they are self-righteous.

Tolerate each other, treat each other sincerely, respect the old and love the young, compare the heart to the heart, empathy, be kind and pleasant, filial piety and love, selfless dedication, do all this well, just for love. Why should a woman be embarrassed for a woman, the family and everything will be prosperous, let love accompany you. May the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law bring their sons, husbands and grandchildren a warm, healthy, and happy home.

My mother-in-law thinks that I robbed her son, and often says in front of me and my husband that my husband still sleeps with her when he is a teenager, and my husband doesn't sleep if she doesn't come back from working outside, and now that she has a woman, she forgets about her mother and the like, she doesn't have any ability, she didn't give a penny of dowry for marriage, and she also gave us hundreds of thousands of accounts, and she looked down on me every day.

Women are hypocritical, the same family, why are there only contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, why are there few contradictions between father-in-law and daughter-in-law, son-in-law and mother-in-law? In the final analysis, it is the woman's own problem, not to mention the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law with interests and generation gap, even between the purest students, many girls are also engaged in chickens and dogs in their dormitories, and they don't get along with each other.

It's hard to deal with, so there's no need to live together, be polite like friends, and don't interfere with each other.

Mother and daughter are related by blood, while mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are a social relationship. Therefore, you can't use the method of blood relationship to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. A sense of boundaries is important. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has come and gone. Mother and daughter don't have to do that.

Because the mother-in-law's concept is relatively old, it is difficult to accept new things, and for the daughter-in-law, they are all educated people, and their views on things are completely different from those of the elderly, so they will not be able to talk together and have contradictions.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is itself a problem for the ages, why is it so difficult to get along with?

Personally, I think the most important thing is the care for the child, in the hearts of parents, regardless of whether the child is married or not, they always think that the child cannot handle things well and cannot distinguish between right and wrong. So no matter how big or small, even if the son gets married, he likes to point fingers and interfere everywhere, especially if the son is disobedient, it is regarded as a sign of unfilial piety.

As a daughter-in-law who marries in, if you want to integrate into such a family, it must be full of contradictions, so now that young people get married, it is recommended to live separately from their parents-in-law, usually walk around to visit, and be filial. Now that the son has a family, the parents-in-law should not interfere too much, let them learn to bear it themselves and grow up slowly!

Many mothers-in-law feel that the existence of their daughter-in-law is to rob their son of love and care for themselves, so they are always hostile to their daughter-in-law, thinking that their daughter-in-law is here to collect debts. Once the mother-in-law has such an idea, she naturally treats her daughter-in-law with no good face, but she ignores that love and family affection are not the same thing. A daughter-in-law is not an enemy, she will not snatch your son, on the contrary, as long as you treat her well, you will have one more person who is filial to you.

And daughters-in-law are often afraid that their husband's love and dedication will be shared, so they have no good impression of their mother-in-law. In fact, these problems do not necessarily exist, and most of them are just subjective thoughts. If they all regard each other as imaginary enemies, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be handled well.

The difficult relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may be due to the fact that you and your mother-in-law have different living habits and different ideologies. And you are married to his son. It's equivalent to half of his son's love that you struggle, and he will be jealous. That's why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be difficult to get along.

Because of many Chinese-style mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law care about their sons very much. But caring too much about being a son will make his daughter-in-law feel that she has no sense of existence, or that you treat her badly, so it leads to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China. It's more difficult to get along with.

Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law so difficult in China? The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along with because they do not regard each other as family, and some small things have to be competed for. And the mother-in-law thinks that the daughter-in-law has snatched her son away, and the son is no longer close to her, so she regards the daughter-in-law as an enemy, and many times it is because of these reasons.

It is sometimes difficult for me and my mother to communicate, let alone live with another elder who has grown up with me since I was a child, and there is an age gap and a difference in lifestyle.

That's because in China, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law need to get along for a long time, and in the process of running-in, there will definitely be all kinds of troubles and disagreements, so it will be difficult to get along.

Why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law so difficult in China? This has a lot to do with China's thousands of years of feudal tradition. The traditional Chinese concept is that a daughter-in-law who has been boiling for thousands of years has become a mother-in-law, so after the daughter-in-law has become a mother-in-law, she will inflict on the daughter-in-law what she has suffered, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along with in China.

Because there used to be thousands of years of feudal tradition, I always felt that my daughter-in-law should be filial to my in-laws, but now that women are intellectualized, men are often not as strong as women, and it is difficult to mediate from them, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really difficult to get along with, and there is no emotion between them.