How to communicate with people without being cold? How not to be cold in a relationship

Sometimes do you feel that two or several people who had a good chat for two days suddenly changed the whole chat atmosphere by a sentence from the other party or themselves or one of them, which made everyone very embarrassed. In modern society, social interaction is very important to a person, and social interaction is based on interacting with each other, so what should be said on what occasion, for a certain topic, a certain person, what should be said, what should not be said, you must have your own judgment, and you can't take being open-mouthed as an upright character. Speaking is a manifestation of a person's emotional intelligence, so it should be passed through the brain before speaking.

I think how to communicate with people is not cold, I think this is an art, an art of speaking, so I should practice more to avoid embarrassing scenes. Here are some things you can try to exercise:

1.When communicating with others, we must treat each interlocutor equally and harmoniously, rather than chatting with each other with a certain mentality.

2.For each other, we should understand each other more, understand their hobbies, taboos, etc., so as to avoid being cold because of ignorance in communication, making each other embarrassed and unable to chat.

3.Treat every moment of life with a heart of learning. Pay more attention to other people's conversations and learn the art of communication, so as to avoid the occurrence of cold field or the art of speaking through your speech.

In my opinion, communication is an artistic act, and the level of art reflects the level of a person's emotional intelligence, and everyone wants to communicate happily with others, rather than an embarrassing cold scene.

Hahahaha, I was really super worried about this matter a few years ago, every time I was nervous and blushing because I didn't know what to say, and I was nervous and restless when the leader went out, so I super understood the original intention of your question.

At that time, I really couldn't think of any topics, because I just came out of school, and I didn't know what the problem was at work, and I didn't know how to talk about society, so I was embarrassed there. Later, because of this speaking skill, I bought a lot of books to read. But it doesn't really work.

The last thing that worked for me was to observe and summarize others.

In fact, sometimes you are worried about the cold colleague The other party is the same, people get along with people and feel the same, so the other party is also looking for a topic, if the other party finds a topic, you only need to respond to him and throw the same question to him, you must pay attention to the problem must be thrown back, or you will die of nagging, that is, the cold field.

Then when it comes to topics, there are a few universal topics, that is, no matter who you are, what relationship, what occasion, there is nothing wrong with saying this, that is, asking him, "Eh, where is your home?" Then the topic came roughly, "My home is from Harbin", "Eh, I've been there, the pot wrapped meat there is delicious." "Yes, yes, have you ever eaten baked cold noodles?"

Then the topic of where your home is is raised, you can talk for hours without being cold.

There's also a universal topic that's like, "Eh, what school are you from?", and then okay, "Eh, your school cafeteria is delicious" and "Eh, you have a lot of beautiful girls in your school", and then you can talk about it for hours.

I relied on these two topics to alleviate the cold field crisis of chatting with people who have nothing to do with each other, and you can get started.

Normally, when I talk to others, I don't think I'll be cold, and I don't know why I always have so much to say. And when others don't say it, I want to say it. There's always a lot to say, and it probably has something to do with your personality.

I myself belong to the kind of person who is lively and cheerful, can liven up the atmosphere, and likes to drive a "car" when I have nothing to do, tell jokes or something.

So I summed up the state I feel when I'm chatting with people.

The first is that I never let the air quiet down, and I always throw up one question after another. So that both parties can constantly switch the content of the chat, and find the part they are interested in, depending on the person being chatted. My focus is also different.

Most of the time, I will use the one-question-and-answer model, and if the other party doesn't really want to speak, I will share my own experience, and there are more such modes. Of course, these are all when the other party is willing to chat with you, if you chat well, others don't feel bored, don't feel very strenuous, and don't feel that it's a waste of time, then people are willing to continue chatting with you.

The second is that when I speak, I will speak louder, so that it seems more lively and I don't feel cold. When you speak loudly, others will whisper in and you will want to talk more! But it's very important not to mention topics that shouldn't be mentioned.

These are all my analyses from the perspective of the narrator.

Of course, learning to be a listener is also very important, learning to listen is a science, don't let others think that you are bored, proper nodding, speaking is a very important etiquette, which will improve the enthusiasm of the other party to speak, thus making the chat more enjoyable!

In fact, life is full of learning. Regardless of the industry, communication with people is an essential ability for everyone. Some people are "social experts", while some people are very flustered when communicating with others, especially when talking to strangers, or in some public places, they will seem at a loss or speak unfocused.

All of this can make the whole conversation cramped, or even cold.

But everything is made by law, and there are traces to follow. So if you want to improve your social and interpersonal skills, don't be afraid to communicate with people. You can try to communicate with people more, no amount of preaching is better than practice.

On paper, I finally feel shallow, and I never know that I have to do it. "No matter what books teach you how to communicate with people, those skills in conversation. It's better to practice it yourself, "practice brings true knowledge".

When you are constantly communicating with people, you will find that the skill in this is actually to treat people with sincerity and heart.

For example, communicate with the people around you and take the initiative to communicate. You can do challenging work, such as a sales pitch, trying out how to communicate with strangers. This will make your tension fade away.

You can also seize every "opportunity to show your face". It is normal for everyone to have varying degrees of nervousness and uneasiness when speaking in public for the first time, even if it is a seasoned speaker, there will be a little nervousness in every speech. But as long as you seize every opportunity, seize the opportunity in the process of speaking, and experience how to speak can catch the attention of others, after a period of time, your level of conversation with people will definitely rise a lot.

1. Look at the other party's mood--- which will make the other party feel very comfortable.

Think about how you feel when you are valued by others. Therefore, if you want your legal person to communicate and communicate, you must learn to look at the other party's mood without being cold or embarrassed. Because only in this way can you better get the other person's attention to you.

This is the biggest difference between being comfortable and uncomfortable!

Second, don't underestimate people too much--- you won't let the other party have an opinion about you.

In the process of communication, what can make the other party have an opinion on you must be because you look down on others. You have to know that you yourself are not much better than others, so if you want to let your interactions with others change because of this, you must not underestimate the other person. Even if the other party is useless, you have to do everything you can to find his shining point!

3. Say something popular --- so that the other party will be more recognized.

If you're talking about things that the other person can't talk about, you'll be particularly embarrassed throughout the conversation. This can't be blamed on others for understanding too little, but you can only blame yourself for saying too much, and you can't let the other party approve of you. Therefore, if you don't want to pin sinners, you must say more popular words!

Fourth, don't rush for results--- you will get more than you gain.

There is nothing surprising that when a person is in a certain situation, the more he is in a hurry, the more he will let himself deviate from the final result. So if you don't want to be embarrassed in the process of communication, please be sure to control your mood of wanting to get results. so as not to cause a tragic result for yourself that does not outweigh the gains!

5. Learn to pause for three seconds --- give yourself time to relax and think.

Why stop for three seconds? It is to be able to quickly alleviate your inner contradictions and unsatisfactory. After doing this, it will greatly reduce the conflict between you and Ye Laohui and the others.

There is nothing to doubt about this, to do it or not to do it, you will get the opposite result. I hope you can learn to stop for three seconds for your own communication!

No matter how perfect a person is, he will encounter things that he can't do, just like a person who usually likes to envy and make friends, but he can't interject when his friends talk to others, I think there are many reasons, let's talk about them separately.

The first reason is that your friends don't want you to join you at all. Many times it's not that you think too much by yourself, but the reality makes you have to think more, how can a person who likes to make friends not fit into a conversation, I think most likely your friends don't want you to fit in at all, and then let you chat with them well.

I knew a girl when I came to this school when I was a freshman.,Looking at her very quiet.,I still thought in my heart that I would definitely be able to progress with such a top student.,It turned out to be a scumbag.,Later, I joined another girl who came to this school alone, and then the three of us ate and went to class together after military training.,It turned out that things didn't develop in the direction of a good bridge.,Gradually, I found that the two of them spoke more and more incomprehensible.,And then I realized that the two of them had a little secret., A little secret I didn't know, and then I chose to give up this friendship that I didn't have a heart-to-heart to.

The second reason is that you are out of orbit in your environment. Many people like to make friends does not mean that this person can fit into an environment well, liking to make friends is character, but making friends and being able to make friends is a skill, you don't know the development trends and topics in your environment, so you can't fit in.

The third reason is that you haven't figured out what they're saying, you haven't experienced what they're saying. Only after experiencing it will you know what will happen in such a situation, just like feelings, only after experiencing the failure of feelings will you know whether a person loves you or not.

There was a girl in my dormitory who had never been in a relationship, and when the other five of us were talking, that girl always couldn't interject, because she hadn't experienced what we had experienced, so she ended up talking coldly.

1. Affirm others.

Be positive about the person you're chatting with, and don't be oppositional. For example, when the other person expresses his or her opinion on a certain matter, don't always rush to dismiss the other person's opinion.

Because this will make the other person feel very uncomfortable, as if the listener is despising the other person. You should ask for the other party's positive opinion, even if you think that some of the other party's opinions are really stupid, then it should not be too obvious.

2. Find common topics.

For example, two girls who like the same star can talk together for hours. Because they have a common hobby, there are a lot of things to talk about, and the atmosphere of chatting will become more and more lively.

So if you don't want to have a cold spot when chatting with others, then you should be prepared before chatting to find out what exactly you and the other person have in common.

3. Pull the topic to the other party.

If you want to chat without being cold, then you should try to arouse the interest of the other party and yourself as much as possible, and the simpler way is to pull the topic to the other party, let the other party keep telling what happened to you, and you just listen quietly on the side.