How to speak, how to be able to speak

Say words to relieve the siege on embarrassing occasions, give favors to others, say euphemistic words, and the adversary, you have to say friendly words, when you are in trouble, you have to say thoughtful words, you have to divide the occasion, the object, the emotion, and the situation, either tactfully, or directly, or you just make a little more detour, or you simply shut up, this is called being able to speak.

Pay attention to what your friends are interested in and chat along with your friends' interests. This makes friends feel that you care and are like-minded. Try it, come for a long time.

Don't be stingy with your feelings, afraid that there will be no return for what you give, always thinking that if I am good to others, others must be good to me, how can you open your heart and interact with others with such a burden?

Also, when friends are together, it is inevitable to have dinner together, buy something together, get on the bus to pay the fare, celebrate birthdays, give gifts when you are sick, and other things involving money, so don't worry too much about the gains and losses.

In conclusion, emotional investment always comes at a price.

You say you know friends who don't talk, then okay, go get a pet, this is the most suitable for people like you.

Don't blame many people, show your smiling face more! To others, let others feel that he is also happy with your existence! That's it, there are no rules and regulations for talking!

Adjust your mindset. There may be something wrong.

Summary. The so-called "being able to speak" not only means to express one's intentions truthfully, but also to consider the other person's point of view, and at the same time focus on mobilizing the other person's emotions to the greatest extent. It can make people comfortable and happy, mature and stable enough, have a sense of security, be able to take responsibility, and be generous and warm.

The so-called "being able to speak" not only refers to the true expression of wishes, but also from the perspective of the other party, and at the same time pay attention to the maximum extent to mobilize the other party's feelings. It can make people comfortable and happy, mature and stable enough, have a sense of security, be able to take responsibility, and be generous and warm.

A person can speak and learn to be obedient at the same time, so it is called real talking.

1. When expressing emotions, Bi sells socks in an appropriate tone of weakness.

Here's an example. A few years ago, my sister-in-law was looking for a small object left by her grandfather at home, and because she came home from work in the field few times, she asked me: "Xiao Tian, have you seen the knick-knack?" ”

I replied, "If you can't find it, can I find it?" ”。At that time, my sister-in-law was angry and ignored me for several days. Match brother.

Later, I thought about it, if I was like this at that time, would it be better: "Sister-in-law, I really didn't see it, I'll look for you together!" ”

When we are expressing emotions, showing weakness will make the smell of gunpowder dissipate.

2. When praising others, pay attention to the details.

When we are complimenting others, adding details will not only make them feel happy, but also make others think that you value them and even have a good impression of you. This is very well shown when girls are shopping for clothes:

When you compliment her on how beautiful this dress is, you might as well say something like this:

You put on this dress, why is the waist so thin!

3. Continue the topic in a retrospective way.

When others praise you, you are a little embarrassed, in fact, we can replace the object and praise it back, which can not only relieve the embarrassment but also continue the current topic.

4. Give others space to speak.

When chatting with others, more often be a listener, don't monopolize the right to speak, talk about butterflies and butterflies endlessly, and others don't say a word after chatting. Give others the space to express their thoughts so that the conversation continues.

5. Don't have a verbal conflict with others.

Not revealing the shortcomings of others when chatting is the best art of speaking, even if others misunderstand you or blame you, don't add up the bad words, which will only demean you and have no meaning. Only by constantly improving yourself will others respect you.

6. It's better to say more than to do.

Sometimes, on special occasions, the expression of words will be limited, and it is difficult to fully express one's thoughts or emotions, so it is better not to say it, and it will make people feel more real in the end.

What is called the ability to speak and explain such as the Tan tribe:

1) Must have strong oral communication skills in conversation. That is, they should be able to skillfully use language skills to speak according to the communicative intention and purpose, and at the same time, they should have the ability to respond to the situation.

2) Always have a clear sense of object and context in communication. If you ignore the occasion, do not look at the object, talk exaggeratedly, and talk endlessly, this kind of behavior of "being able to speak and speak" will only cause disgust and even disgust, and cannot be called eloquence. Xunzi clearly pointed out in "Persuasion":

It can not be said to be arrogant (impatient), it can be hidden without words, and it is said to be blind without looking at the complexion. This shows that speech should be made in the context and acted by the camera.

3) In communication, it is also necessary to have a high level of comprehension and feedback ability, that is, to be able to accurately accept and understand, and to make appropriate and necessary responses. In oral communication, the speaker must not only express, but also receive, that is, comprehend the meaning of the other person's words or gestures, and at the same time give targeted feedback.

4) The depth of the speech should be appropriate to the other party's receptivity. The Analects says: "If you are above the middle, you can speak also; Below the middle people, you can't speak also.

For people with an intermediate level, you can talk about advanced truths, but you can't talk about advanced truths to people below the average level, and the content of words of envy will not get good results if it exceeds or falls below the other party's ability to accept it.

5) Caution, the so-called "caution", is not to say too much. The advocacy of "prudent words" is proposed in response to the relationship between words and deeds. Do things to be diligent and agile, speak cautiously and pay attention to proportion, what can not be done, do not say at all, if words and deeds are really not consistent in the case, rather do more things, less talk, and never say more and do less, words and deeds.