Why is there always one person in the relationship who is hurt

When you like someone, you want to be with him because he will bring you joy; After leaving, you will miss, laugh at the thought of it, and then move on with your peaceful life and look forward to seeing him again. When you love someone and you want to be with him, it is a kind of reluctance to worry about him, afraid that he will be wronged, afraid that he will not be able to take good care of himself; After leaving. You'll miss too, thinking about it and sighing"I wonder how he's doing now?

Then you continue your peaceful life, hoping that he will return to you soon. The person you like is an angel in your eyes, omnipotent, and he will always satisfy your wayward requirements. The person you love is a child in your eyes, silly, and you don't expect anything from him"Good thing"come, just blindly condone his actions that make people laugh and cry.

You will want the person you like to be with you, but you may have the person you love in mind; You will want to be by your loved one's side, and you will smile and feel so happy when you see him sleeping so comfortably and sweetly in front of you. If someone you like hurts you, you will be angry, and you must let him coax you to make you laugh before you forgive him; The person you love hurts you, you will only be sad alone, because you are afraid that yelling at him will scare him, you smile sadly, look into his eyes, once you find that his eyes show apology and remorse, you will immediately feel distressed and hug him in your arms, at that moment, you are also happy. You can like many people at the same time, and you will want to be with many people, but maybe after many years you realize that there is only one person you love, just that one, and it will not change, and you think you have forgotten him, but in fact you are just busy and have no time to remember.

For the person you like, you focus on his merits; For the person you love, you focus on his shortcomings, and those shortcomings are lovely and unique to you, if they are not principled. Like and love is actually only a piece of paper, any love starts from liking, when one day you suddenly find that the person you like is no longer perfect in your eyes, and his flaws are like the laurel shadow in the moon makes you more reluctant, you will feel that compared with his radiant side, you are more willing to see his helpless expression in front of you, I don't know if you should congratulate you, in short, your feelings are sublimated -- admiration is not love, not even like, when you only have admiration for a person, When you are together, you lose your harmony. Some people say that it is tiring to love someone, and it is true that it is because you want to bear it for him, but the biggest charm of love compared to liking is that when you are with the person you love, you feel like you are home!

I think a person who has been seriously hurt by emotions may behave differentlyFor example, some people will become very promiscuous, and some people will become uninterested in feelings.

When a person has been involved in a relationship, he has invested a lot, but he has been deeply hurt by the other party. Faced with such a situation, he may also be disappointed in his feelings. When he is disappointed in his relationship, he may behave in the following ways:

Some people have once given a deep affection to a person. When he gives a lot of affection, it can change his mind completely if he doesn't get what he deserves.

For example, the person he once liked very much betrayed him, and when the person he once liked treated him like this,Maybe he won't be so deeply emotionally invested in others anymore, he may also become very promiscuous all the time, such as throwing flowers everywhere, or becoming a "sea king".

Some people who have been severely emotionally traumatized seem to look down on everything. For example, when he sees someone in a relationship, he may laugh it off. When other members of the opposite sex want to get along with him, he may also refuse indifferently.

People who have been severely emotionally traumatized,Maybe he wouldn't be so passionate about feelings. He could no longer find someone he could like so much and who could devote all his emotions to.

Some are emotionally bruised.

Later, his psyche will become distorted. When he sees a couple in a relationship, he may feel resentful and even vent his dissatisfaction. It is also possible that he will look at some people of the opposite sex everywhere and even do some illegal things.

There will be no sense of security. Women who have been emotionally wounded will become particularly sensitive and insecure in matters between men and women. And she will be very defensive, she will close her heart and not let people go in, she will be afraid of being hurt again.

<> "Why do some people always suffer the same hurt in their relationships?

Subsequent intimacy is sometimes compensation for previous intimacy", how to understand this sentence?

In counseling, the following two situations often arise:

1. Intimacy is the compensation for the parent-child relationship of the original family.

Some people have not been able to get enough love and warmth from their parents in the process of growing up in their original family, and even have some traumatic experiences, which may gradually make them have a big hole in their hearts that lack love, and at the same time form some relatively biased outlook on life, for example, some people believe that they are not worthy of love, and others will hurt themselves inexplicably.

With these deficiencies or beliefs, there is a high chance that something will go wrong when they enter into their intimate relationships. For example, some people will be with people who are much worse than themselves, because this can reduce the likelihood of being abandoned.

2. This intimate relationship is compensation for the previous intimate relationship.

Some emotional experiences are unforgettable for people, and this fundamental reason may be because it subverts people's original three views, and makes people realize for the first time that there will be such a side to life, feelings, and people's hearts.

The subversion of the three views will be a harmful event for people's hearts, because we deal with the world on the basis of our own three views. If our three views are proven to be wrong or flawed, our sense of security will be shaken – and we will realize that we may not be able to protect ourselves well. At this point, we may activate our own defense mechanisms to try to fix the vulnerability.

Another relationship is often a subconscious choice for many people, maybe choosing a completely different person from the past to live a completely different life will restore some sense of security in the heart. But in either the first or the second case, there is a possibility that the defense mechanism will fail.

When we realize that our current problems and past experiences are related to trauma, it means that we are already clear in our hearts that the problem can no longer be avoided, and we have to face it, no matter how painful and difficult it is.

We need to look back, face the facts of the past, re-analyze, think, and experience, vent the pent-up emotions, and express the hidden feelings, so that it is possible to reconcile with the past, integrate ourselves without repentance, and move towards the future.

In this difficult process, sometimes with the help of psychological counseling, we can get more results with half the effort and no longer feel so scared and lonely.

Because of being in the family of origin, when I start a relationship and really enter the state of love, it is often difficult to really devote myself to it, because I am a person who is relatively insecure and lacks self-confidence. The reason why such a problem arises is mainly because of the original family, in my growth process and under the long-term education and guidance of my parents, I am more reluctant to fall in love, because when I was young, my parents were especially afraid that I would have the problem of early love in order to let me study hard, so they always instilled in me some of their truths, that is, to get along with girls, to keep a certain distance, because many girls are often unreliable, Only when you have a real career in the future can you consider falling in love, because girls are more realistic. Therefore, under the influence of their concept, after graduating from college, I should fall in love at the age of time, I still have some resistance to falling in love, because I am not very satisfied with my state, I am afraid that after starting a relationship, the other party will dislike my job and my income, although at this time, my parents are no longer like when I was studying, but are particularly concerned about my falling in love, and always want to introduce me to a girlfriend, But I didn't have the slightest interest in it, and I thought I was still young and should devote more energy and time to my career.

The way emotions are felt varies from person to person, and everyone is affected by a variety of psychological, family, social, and environmental factors in their life and upbringing. Here are some of the reasons that can cause you to hurt in a relationship:

1.Unstable self-worth: The inner self-identification and sense of value are not stable enough, often have doubts and uneasiness about themselves, and the dependence and need for feelings are relatively strong.

2.Lack of emotional skills: Some people aspire to have healthy relationships, but lack the skills to deal with emotional issues, such as expressing feelings, communication, commitment, etc.

3.Lack of emotional maturity: People who are emotionally injured often lack self-awareness and self-management skills, and lack the ability and experience to deal with emotional crises and conflicts for themselves or the other party.

4.Choosing an unreasonable way of dating: You may have chosen an inappropriate way of dating due to over-idealization or irrational emotions, such as starting a relationship too quickly or taking a shallow relationship too seriously.

5.Inexperienced: People who are hurt in a relationship may be due to their younger age, lack of understanding and experience in relationships, and lack the ability to anticipate and cope with changes in feelings.

If you find yourself often hurt in your relationship, you can consider your own emotional problems and gradually learn and grow. For example, you can try to improve your emotional maturity and ability to deal with emotional problems by reading books on psychology and taking emotional management courses.

Why do you always get frustrated in your relationship?

Because you gave him the confidence to be unscrupulous.

is too persistent in feelings, always imposes his own ideas on the other half, and then does not know how to empathize, so it will be very hurt.

I think the most important reason why I always get hurt in my relationship is that I have low emotional intelligence, and people with low emotional intelligence are difficult to get along with.

Because it's easy to lose myself in a relationship, it's easy to put the other person first, and everything will be up to him.

Because I can always afford to take it, I can't put it down. The most taboo thing in a relationship is to give blindly, which will make both yourself and the other party feel tired.

Because what I love is too humble, I will always be the one who takes the initiative in the relationship, and I bow my head first when I quarrel.

Because I am a giving personality and have some low self-esteem, I always keep being kind to each other and making the other party feel that I can not cherish it, so I am always hurt.

Because I love to drill too much, I have a habit of cleanliness in love and pursue perfect love too much, so I am always hurt.

Because I give too much in my relationship, I always put the other person first and put myself second.

Because I am always very committed to every relationship, I am more likely to be hurt by others in the relationship.

Because you can afford it but can't put it down, your heart is too soft, and you know that the other party has been hurting you, and the two of you are not suitable, but you still won't stop the loss in time.

What is love? The meaning of love is very broad and can be friendship, family affection, love, ......Perhaps the most interesting thing for people is love, right? Then I might as well talk about love.

Love is the most beautiful word, how many people are struggling to pursue it, sometimes people regard love as more important than life. But what is love? How many people truly have eternal love?

How many people have been searching for it all their lives? Love may be the feeling of love at first sight, love may be the feeling when you make a promise, and love may be the ......feeling of life and deathLove is a topic that can't be talked about endlessly. When you fall in love with someone, your heart is panicked and uneasy, you don't know how the other person feels, and you have to hide your feelings because you are a reserved person.

Maybe the root of your love is a shadow in your heart, you put on a dream clothes for him, you are intoxicated in the illusion of the dream and do not want to wake up, wandering and tossing for a long time, when you know the other party's feelings, everything has been light, because you have stepped out of his shadow, his coat is no longer gorgeous, the love you hold has lost its luster, and your life has been injected with gray since then. When I don't have the experience of loving others, I think, "It's a pleasure to love others."

When I was loved, I thought, "What a blessing to be loved!" But whether it is to love or be loved, it is so sad, because people's hearts are always so unpredictable, and desires are always so things, for her, they can only pass by.

Nothing can penetrate deep into her heart. Like a decadent and gloomy flower, with a gesture of despair but looking up at an innocent face, smiling at all cruelty and humiliation. The deep dark green color is without tears.

Such a flower that blooms forever in the dark does not believe in tears, and is destined to be lonely for a lifetime. Often, in a crowded crowd, I feel the extension, sound, smell of many strangers, chaotic and noisy. And when you are quiet and then look and listen, you can feel incombinable, with love and being loved, there will be a struggle in the whirlpool of feelings, and with love and being loved, there will be more entanglements in the emotional world.

The wrong car of loving and being loved, the incomprehension of loving and being loved, the restriction of loving and being loved, the helpless ...... of loving and being lovedIn the vast land, for a person who is disappointed in the world and has no love in his heart, isn't it the same to **? Forever walking on the road, all love, all of a sudden, you will find that there is nothing here. Empty and silent.

There are many people who have no soul. I live a mediocre life, I have no purpose, I don't know why I want to live, and I never think about what I live for. There may be more and more such people in this world.

He was always looking for someone who felt the same way he or she did. Even if it is far away, even if it is crowded, he may feel the loneliness of the blank, and then know that the same alien as himself is not far away and feels each other with him.