8 9 year olds love to lie, what to do?

Children who are generally afraid that parents or teachers will punish lying occasionally are easier to educate. If you tell them that you are doing something wrong, your parents or teachers will punish you even more if they know about it, and they will think that you are not a good child. In the future, you can't lie to your parents or teachers, do you know?

It is especially easy to change the lying of children who are afraid of punishment. The most difficult thing to change is the kind of lying that shirks responsibility, often lies come out of the mouth, nine out of ten sentences, such children are very difficult to educate, and parents need to spend a lot of experience and time to educate them, parents can ask him why he is lying? At the same time, tell him that lying is something that adults hate, and in short, if you want such a child not to tell lies, it will take a very slow education process! ‍‍

Children love to lie to avoid punishment, or to get a reward, or to achieve some purpose for themselves. It is not in a child's nature to lie, but there may be a time when lying brings him some unexpected results, so he begins to be willing to lie. ‍‍

He told a lie out of fear, but in fact, he knew very well in his heart what was wrong, and he was also very nervous and afraid. Then you should explain it to him patiently and carefully, and he should understand. Children's psychological tolerance is relatively fragile, and it is easy to cast a shadow on the psychology if it is too strict. ‍‍

You must set rules for your children, because without rules, you will lose your principles. Once the rules are established, we must unswervingly implement the rules, make the rules effective, and let the children not tell lies and be a trustworthy person. ‍‍

Most importantly, because school-age children are keen observers, parents are still important role models. Beware of what lies parents themselves may be accustomed to telling – even small lies like "I'm not home" when speaking at home – that can send a complex message to a school-age child. No matter how much you talk about the importance of honesty, if children see us adults being dishonest, it destroys that quality. ‍‍

I seem to empathize with this, but in the end I found a solution, I am usually busy at work and have no time to take care of the child, are grandparents to see, the child often said that he was uncomfortable during that time, let me take him to see, but to check it was nothing, or the doctor reminded me that the child did not want to be with you too much, deliberately lied, I thought about it really, I will take out more events to play with him in the future, and slowly his problem really changed.

This happens. Parents should be calm and think about why this is happening. Is it because you usually don't communicate with your child much, or you are too strict with your child, and your child is unwilling to communicate with you? ‍‍

Parents have to think, why do our children lie? No child is born with bad qualities, and if he or she has to deliberately engage in bad behavior, it is all caused by instinctive self-protection in a passive situation. ‍‍

This kind of child can often peek into the inner thoughts of adults and the results they desire through their parents' words, behaviors and expressions, but because they have not done it and do not want to disappoint and upset their parents, they will also learn to lie. ‍‍

When children are very young, they sometimes tell inconsequential lies, such as telling their parents that they are hungry when they see their favorite snacks. If it can't be handled well, then when the child gradually expands and the ability to "lie" becomes stronger and stronger, it will be even more difficult to solve it. In fact, some studies have shown that lying is also a part of human nature.

So when you encounter a child lying, don't rush to get angry. Children must lie for a reason. It is necessary to get to the root of the problem before we can prescribe the right solution, first and foremost, the child lies for fear of parental punishment or expectation of reward.

It's like Doudou was afraid that he would be criticized by his mother for failing in the exam, so he lied about his grades, and said that he was excellent, but he might even be praised. The image of the parents themselves can also have a deep impact on the children. Honesty should be a two-way street:

If you don't do what you promised your child, or if you lie to your family members in normal times, your child will feel disappointed that your parents are not keeping their word. Then I feel that since this is the case, it will not be a big deal to lie to adults, and the attitude of parents after the child lies determines whether the child will lie next time. If you understate it, ignore it, and say a few words and it will pass, the child may not be able to realize the nature of his mistake, and it is very likely that he will make it again; But if you scold harshly, or even scold, and give your child the name of "little **" and "lying", it is possible to arouse the child's rebellious psychology, and every child will make mistakes in the process of growing up, and it is normal for academic performance to fluctuate.

For children, we should have a tolerant and understanding heart, allow children to make mistakes, and do not make the family atmosphere too tense. It is important to teach children how to correct their mistakes; At the same time, it is important to set goals step by step so that children no longer have to worry about being punished for not meeting expectations. On the other hand, find more opportunities for praise and appropriate rewards, so that children will not falsely report their achievements in order to be affirmed by their parents.

Parents are the most important teachers for children, and their influence on children is not only in "words", but also in "teaching by example". Therefore, if you want to think about what your children will become, you must first set an example. What children are best at is imitation, and a good example will allow children to develop excellent qualities in a subtle way.

On the contrary, it is difficult for a parent to teach an honest and trustworthy child. When it has been discovered that the child is lying, it is time to take this opportunity to educate him seriously. Encouraging education for tolerance is not the same as ignoring principles.

Especially for children who have left early childhood and entered primary school, integrity is a matter of principle, so there is no room for concessions, and children must be made clear about the importance of honesty. In this process, it is necessary to have the greatest patience to listen to the child's ideas and understand his thoughts, rather than blindly preaching unilaterally. The most taboo thing is to be unable to speak clearly for a while, and then impatiently tell the child in a condescending tone, "Because I am your father and mother, you must listen to me."

It seems that the quick effect also establishes the authority of the parents, but in fact, this simple and crude way sows the seeds of the child's rebellion.

1. Allow children to make mistakes and allow children to lie. When a child is lying, parents should understand why the child is lying, and whether the child is lying with good intentions or malicious intentions, whether it is intentional or unintentional. Don't criticize your child immediately if he lies, let alone scold him, and then guide the child according to the actual situation after understanding the child's true thoughts.

2. Don't label your child. When your child is lying, don't say to him, "You're a liar," or say, "If you like to lie like that, I don't want you."

If you label your child as liaring, your child will feel very ununderstood. If the child no longer trusts his parents, then his act of lying becomes "lying" in the true sense of the word. Don't let your child become a real dishonest person.

3. Light punishment, heavy explanation. Although punishment can inhibit a child's lying behavior, it cannot ** the behavior model in the child's brain. If the punishment is too severe, it can also cause the child to lose trust in the parent.

We can appropriately use mild punishment measures such as "behavior ledger seepage", which records the child's good behavior and bad behavior on a daily basis, and expresses it in a score. Parents can give their children appropriate moral or material rewards.

1. Find the reason for the child; If you find that your child is lying, the first thing you should do is to find out why they are lying, and then communicate with your child according to the reason to relieve their inner worries. When the child has no reason to lie, it will not happen again.

2. Be clear about your own point of view; Children don't have a clear concept of right and wrong when they're young, and Chang Cheng doesn't know that lying is wrong, so the attitude of parents is very important. It is important to make it clear to your child that lying is not the right thing to do. When children know that this behavior is wrong, it can also be effective to prevent them from making mistakes.

3. Children must be appropriately punished for deliberately making mistakes; If parents only preach on the principles of spring travel without any punishment when educating them, they will lose their deterrent effect and it will be difficult to help them get rid of their bad habits. The bad habit of lying has a great impact on whether a person is popular after going to society, so parents must pay enough attention to this issue.

4. Accept from the heart that children lie; Since it is nature, children lie like this, and adults do the same, think about who has not lied in life? Whether in good faith or in bad faith. Therefore, as a parent, you must first accept your child's lying from your heart, and don't raise the matter of your child's lying to the point where it is impossible to repeat it.

This is the basis for overcoming a child's lying.

5. Communicate calmly; If you accept your child's lying, many times when you know that your child is lying, or even if it has caused a certain bad impact, parents should communicate with their child calmly, and promise that as long as the child speaks honestly, he will not be punished or treated badly. At first, the child may not believe it, but after a few attempts, the child will still believe it, after all, it is the parent.

1. Parents are the first teachers of children, and parents are very important to their children's education, so parents should use the correct method to teach their children. Parents should make their children understand that lying is not the right behavior, and when they lie, parents should point out the problem and criticize the child. Of course, when the child shows honesty and trustworthiness, parents should also praise the child in time.

In short, parents should educate their children to understand that honesty is more welcome, and lying will be disliked.

2. Children around the age of nine already understand right from wrong. Therefore, he knew very well whether Zheng Zheng's behavior was right or wrong.

When children find out that they have done something wrong, they often choose to cover it up by lying, and the age of nine is a starting point for the common understanding of the ethics of things. There is a certain analysis and judgment of things, but it is not comprehensive. In the face of criticism, subconsciously afraid of losing the love of his parents, his first thought is to deny the mistakes made by adults, which is lying.