100 points Urgent, urgent, filial piety

First of all, it's good that you have this idea, I have the same experience as you, but it's worse than you, my parents have died, about the taboo of filial piety, in ancient times, if your parents died, you have to keep filial piety for three years, if you are ** is no exception, you can explain the situation to your superiors, the superiors will retain your official status, you also have to go home for three years, called Ding Wei, in these three years, you set up a shed next to your parents' grave, and then you have to eat and live here for three years, first of all, the meals you eat can only be vegetarian dishes, no meat, In addition, you can't put oil, you can't wear bright clothes, you can only wear filial piety clothes, and your wife and children can't wear bright clothes, the most important thing is that you live there, you can't think nonsense, you have to recite filial piety every day, think about your parents' hard work for you, you have to think about it before three meals a day, in modern times, because everyone wants to open, forget about the kindness of your parents, you don't need to do this, but there are some basic things to observe, that is, in the first seven days of your mother's burial, that is, on the seventh day of the burial, you have to burn paper and pray, In your mother's five or seven, you have to wear filial piety clothes and pray again, you can't get a haircut for a month after your mother's death, don't eat meat for a month, don't eat meat for three years, and so on every time you go to her sacrifice day, don't forget to remember, and you can't eat meat, as for whether you want to fall in love, it doesn't matter, you can talk, no conflict, besides, your mother must also hope that you will find someone who loves you, loves you, and takes care of you instead of her. Don't forget your mother.

1) How to keep filial piety for a filial son.

Confucianism Case (1) - Slaughter Me and Discuss Etiquette.

Zai I asked: "Three years of mourning has been a long time. If a gentleman does not give a courtesy for three years, the courtesy will be bad; If you don't have fun for three years, the music will collapse.

The old valley is gone, the new valley is rising, and the fire is changed. Zi said: "Eat husband rice, clothes husband brocade, Yu Nu Anhu?"

He said, "Ann." "Nu An is for it.

The husband and gentleman's residence is mourning, the food is unwilling, the music is unhappy, and the residence is uneasy, so it is not for it. Today's Nu An, then for it! "Kill me out, Zi said:

It's not kind to it! The son is born for three years, and then he is free from the arms of his parents, and the husband is mourned for three years, and the whole world is mourned. Do you have three years of love for your parents?

Commentary: Zai I believe that the three-year mourning is a requirement of the ceremony, but the ceremony is not fixed, the ceremony is constantly changing. The three-year funeral vigil has been in place for a long time, and now it's time for a change.

Confucius believed that the three-year mourning was not a requirement of etiquette, but a requirement of personal benevolence. When a gentleman dies of his parents, his mood is sad, and eating delicious food and wearing gorgeous clothes is to pursue happiness, which contradicts the mood of grief, so when he pursues happiness during the mourning period, his heart will not be at peace, but only by crying and grieving, his heart will be at peace and happiness can be satisfied.

Zai I responded to Confucius by saying that when his parents died, he ate delicious food and wore gorgeous clothes, and his heart was at peace and content. In other words, the two have different understandings and experiences of benevolence. In this way, there is no way for the two to communicate, because the basic assumptions are different.

According to Confucius, when a parent dies, the mood of a gentleman is sad, and the pursuit of enjoyment will make the gentleman's heart uneasy. Confucius had no choice but to say, if you are safe, you will do it. The implication is that Confucius will not be at peace and can only perform a three-year funeral.

Zai I was virtuous in words and deeds, and was judged by Confucius to be unkind here. But we can see that Zai I has another virtue, and that is "sincerity", which is why he is virtuous.

The reason why etiquette can be practiced is because etiquette is based on people's hearts and benevolence. The reason why there is a change in etiquette is because benevolence has changed, and in Zaime, benevolence and etiquette still echo each other, so there is no hypocrisy. Therefore, a one-year funeral is also a rite.

Observe filial piety for three years, keep the mourning hall, do not post couplets, and do not give New Year's greetings to others. Do not set off firecrackers, burn gold and silver mountains in the first phase, burn gold and silver buckets in the third phase, five flowers bought by the daughter in the fifth phase, and burn boats and shore trees in the seventh phase. 100 days to burn paper in advance, the first year a few burned.

To put it simply, filial piety is to cry for one's parents.

Yes, but I don't approve of it.

Filial piety cannot be quantified, what we want is real filial piety.

Some places say that marriage can be happy. Some places say that they are not filial. The main thing is to look at yourself. Faith is there. If you don't believe it, you don't.

Fear; Attend weddings, talk about marriage, pay New Year's greetings, celebrate birthdays, visit relatives, visit friends, participate in parties, and wear red clothes. Suitable; Keep a low profile.

There is no such thing, right? This was the case in ancient times, but it should not be so strict in modern times. We have a mourning here, and we can't set off firecrackers for the New Year within three years, and the couplets should be pasted with yellow or white to express mourning and filial piety.

I haven't heard that there is no such thing as falling in love, is it possible that there are no happy events during the period of filial piety? So what if the mother is absent during pregnancy? Just knock the child out?

So you can talk about it, and after you talk about marrying a daughter-in-law and going home, your mother is also happy in the spirit of heaven!

The following things cannot be done during the period of filial piety:

1.shall not be appointed as an official;

2.Not allowed to take the exam;

3.You must not marry, you must keep filial piety at home for three years, study behind closed doors, and refuse to do worldly affairs;

4.All those who live in the official position shall be relieved of their duties and shall be kept at home for 27 months (excluding leap months);

5.Spring Festival couplets cannot be pasted.

6.In the year of filial piety, red couplets cannot be pasted every year.

In a word, it can be summed up as:

Do not participate in weddings, talk about marriage, New Year's greetings, birthday greetings, visit relatives, visit friends, participate in parties, wear red clothes, and keep a low profile.

Shouxiao (pinyin: shǒu xìao), after the death of an old customary reverence relative, stopped entertainment and communication before the full service to express mourning. From "Jingben Popular ** Wrong Chop Cui Ning": "But it is said that Aunt Liu went to the house and set up a spiritual position to guard filial piety."

1. No makeup and dignified, no jewelry, no men can wear half pants, women can not wear skirts, no hair is not distributed, no heavy makeup is not wrapped, especially not to wear slippers, showing toes.

2. Gossip is allowed, especially since descendants should not quarrel in the funeral shed for the funeral of their ancestors.

3. Do not be ambiguous with men and women in the Linghanhong shed, and do some overly intimate actions.

4. Pregnant women, mothers and abortions are not allowed to enter the mourning hall, even if they are the direct blood relatives of the deceased.

5. If the corpse of the ancestor exudes a peculiar smell, it should be dealt with immediately, and it is taboo not to say disgusting words.

6. The ancestors should be properly worshiped on each sacrifice day and should not be forgotten.

1. You can't get married within 100 days, you can't cut your hair within 49 days, you can't take a bath within seven days, you can't wash your face within three days, and you can't paste red couplets every year in the year of filial piety.

2. In addition, we still have to believe in science, these are just for the deceased to talk about the heart, and the more important thing is long-term remembrance, taking care of and caring for the relatives around you is the king, after all, the deceased rest in peace.