Can anyone tell me a couple of colored jokes hehe

Dad tells stories to his son.

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog.

Son: Is there any science fiction point?

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog in space.

Son: Mom isn't here, tell me about a restrictive one.

Dad: Once upon a time there was a frog in space with no clothes on.

There was a boy named Xiaoqian and a girl named Xiaobei, and on a bright night they became Xiaoqing.

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died!

Child: Mom, can I play CF?

Mom: Yes, but don't play with Blast!

Child: Why?

Mother: You can't keep B!!

Child:..

Just call me the Red Scarf.

Conditions for love.

Woman: What are the conditions for love?

Men: Men, women.

Woman: Nonsense!

Man: yes, and a bunch of nonsense!

There was a ghost who let out a fart and was stinking by himself!!

Chinese football.

Chinese Football Team with Sex Commercials (Super Classic).

After the defeat of the Chinese football team, the manufacturer of "Strong Lasting Pill" asked Lixx, a member of the national team, to make an advertisement. The plot is: Lixx holds a soccer ball in his left hand, points to the screen with his right hand and says: "Who can go more than 90 minutes without shooting, I can!" ”

After seeing the advertisement of "Strong Lasting Pill", a condom manufacturer was deeply inspired, so he found a group of players from the national team and made an advertisement. The picture is: all the players are bombarding the goal, advertising slogan:

No matter how many times you, if you can't, you can't! "The manufacturer of contraceptive pills also wants to take a ride after seeing it, but what can I do if my own medicine is also for women?! But after analysis, it was not difficult for them, and after three days and three nights of contemplation, they finally found a way:

Let a referee who blew a black whistle in the Super League wear a black coat, blow the whistle, make a gesture, and say arrogantly: "No matter how much you shoot in, it doesn't count!" ”

Dairy cowsA dairy farm that breeds cows, and in order to maintain the number of cattle in the pasture, a male dairy cow is raised in the cow herd.

But as time went on, the bull grew old and began to be a little overwhelmed, so the owner of the ranch bought a new bull to take on the job of maintaining the number of cattle. As for the old cow, since it had been working hard for the past few years, the owner continued to let him go free in the herd. One day, the owner went to inspect the pasture and saw the old bull lying on the grass panting.

The owner of the ranch approached and said, "When you are old, be more restrained, and don't do so much." The old bull said with an innocent face

Can't you tell that new kid, I'm not a cow!!

How sad can you be, it is just a group of eunuchs who go up to the Qinglou!

When the millionaire drove through a village in a luxurious stretched Lincoln car, he saw two beggars pulling grass and eating on the side of the road, and the millionaire immediately stopped the car. "Why do you eat grass? We really don't have the money ......A beggar replied.

Really, get in the car and go to my house. I also have my wife and two children at home......A beggar muttered. "Call them," the rich man pointed to another beggar.

And you, call your family members too. "My family is a large family, and in addition to my wife, I have five children. Another beggar said.

It's okay, it's all called, go quickly! In this way, the two beggars and their families got into the car, fortunately, it was a lengthened car. On the way, a beggar's wife said gratefully

Boss, you are such a nice person, you can invite even a poor person like us to your home. The millionaire replied, "It's nothing, I just came back from abroad, my house has been left unattended, and the lawn in the yard may be more than a meter high, you can eat enough." ”

In the middle of the night, the sudden desire to be a wife hit, but she was too embarrassed to take the initiative to ask her husband, so she had to shake her husband awake and whispered: "Mi Sugar, let's sleep in another position, okay?" The husband who was sleepy stepped over his wife's body in a daze and fell asleep on the other side.

At this time, the wife hurriedly said, "No, I want to sleep back in my original position." The husband did as he was told, stepped over his wife, and went back to sleep, when suddenly he was awakened by a cry.

It turned out that it was his wife who was crying. So, the gentleman kindly asked the reason, and then heard her say sadly, "You are so cruel!

He passed by my door, but he ignored it the second time.

The memory of the hometown is always very far away, so far that you can only dream of the old house in your hometown, which has gradually faded in the years; I dreamed of the plane tree in front of the door, the leaves were green, yellow, falling, budding, and letting the rings of time go round and round; I dreamed of the spring at the entrance of the village, which was warm in winter and cool in summer, with a white mist every day, and sang the oldest songs in the sound of people coming and going with buckets crashing. Also, there is a grandmother calling in front of the old house, with a rustic country accent

I'm hoe He, you're noon!

Hey. In the afternoon of hoeing day, sweat drops into the soil.

A beautiful woman found that the lipstick was too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road.

An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time, and suddenly woke up, caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin is easy to fall.

Noon on hoe day.

I'm Hoehe. You're noon. ）

The man said; If you want it, the woman said no, the man said then I will go, and the woman said no.

1. My wife wants to **, so she goes horseback riding every day. As a result, the horse lost forty pounds in one month.

2. Wife: "Men are all timid. Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise I would not have married you." ”

3. Drinking and drinking high: the mountain does not turn, the water is turning, and the water is not turning, and the road is turning. If the road does not turn, the wind is turning, and if the wind does not turn, the clouds will turn--- if the clouds do not turn, I will turn.

4. The first time I listened to Zhao Yonghua's "The Most Romantic Thing", the sentence "The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you" I listened to: "The most romantic thing I can think of is to sell computers with you!" "At that time, I thought it was Zhongguancun advertising.

Let's take a look at the nine embarrassments in the world, there is what you want.

My sister-in-law read [Hanshu], and my sister-in-law said"The girl reads and thinks about the man", sister-in-law went out to cover the sun with her hands, sister-in-law said"Sister-in-law is afraid of the shade of the sun.