Can anyone give me jokes Please provide me with 100 jokes Bad jokes don t , thank you.

1. Interview: "How can a great calligrapher like you live in a 40-square-meter house?" ”

The master said, "When I was a child, my father told me the story of Wang Xianzhi. His father, Wang Xizhi, told him that as long as he took the eighteen water tanks in the courtyard to sharpen the ink and practice calligraphy, until the water ran out, he could understand the way of calligraphy. ”

As he spoke, he looked around, "I don't have a water tank at home, so I wrote on the wall, and this house was more than 100 square meters at that time." ”

2. The teacup said: It's so boring.

The notebook says, "I'll tell you a joke."

The teacup said, "Yes, yes."

The notebook says: Once upon a time there was a teacup, and my brain was flooded.

Teacup: Poof...

I saw a puff of green smoke coming out of the notebook.,I didn't speak anymore.。。。

3. Grandpa: Xiao Ming, you have to study hard, otherwise...

Xiao Ming; Otherwise, you won't be able to marry a good wife.

Grandpa: Who told you?

Xiao Ming: Dad.

Grandpa: A stupid child, not only can't marry a good wife, but also gives birth to a stupid son.

4. A traffic police officer caught a person riding a motorcycle without a helmet at an intersection.

He saw the mother and son on the road without a hard hat, and said: "If you don't wear a hard hat, forget it, the child doesn't even wear it, don't you know that this is dangerous?" ”

Mother: "There are no such small hard hats. ”

Policeman: "Then why don't you wear it?" ”

Mother: "If something happens to my child, I don't want to live anymore." ”

Xiao Ming saw Xiaohong eating sugarcane, so he told his father that he wanted to eat it too, and his father didn't want him to eat it, so he said, "Sugarcane is not delicious," Xiao Ming asked why? Dad said, "You see she vomited after eating, it must not be delicious!" ”

Guangdong likes to put green onions and coriander when eating fish here--- we are people with background. Cut J cut J --- downstairs of my house is a market, every time my brother has no money, he will ask me to borrow two yuan, go downstairs to a random vegetable seller to buy a dollar of green onions and a dollar of coriander, and then divide it into about ten parts, just sit next to the fish stall, five cents a piece, and sell it out in two clicks.

One day, the captain ordered to take it down and see what wind was blowing today, and when he came down to the side of the boat, he saw some logs flying up and down, so he said to the captain, "Report to the captain, the wind is blowing up and down today."

Once upon a time there was an egg, but there was an egg in the egg, do you know what it is?

Dear Friend:

How are you going to spend the New Year 2011?

Watching jokes, funny movies, funny**, classic quotations, blessing text messages, emotional literature, and beautiful language network have everything at home, so that you can enjoy extraordinary fun at home without going out.

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Dear friends, no matter in **, please remember that there is also me, "Liangyu.com", is your lifelong friend!

Again! Liangyu network management group blesses you:

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**Customer Service Department.

A man walked and walked and died.

1. The head coaches of the football teams of China, Japan and South Korea came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would win the World Cup, and God said: South Korea needs 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears:

I can't see it. God also said, "Japan will need 100 years."

The Japanese coach cried.

Get up: I can't see it. The Chinese coach hurriedly asked: What about us? God cried out: I will not see it.

2. In the scorching heat, the small traders selling melons shouted:"Come and eat watermelon, no sweetness, no money! passers-by:"Wow, that's great, boss, come on a non-sweet one!

3, there is a person named Jiang Xiaofan, and he can't write words to draw a circle. One day, his father was sick, and Jiang Xiaofan wrote a letter:

Dear old :

I heard that you gave birth, you have to take care of it, don't go down casually! Your dear son: Jiang Xiao

When my father received the letter, he asked his neighbor to read it, but the neighbor thought it was an egg and read it aloud: "Dear old egg, I heard that you have laid eggs, you should raise eggs well, and don't lay eggs casually!" Your dear son: Jiang Xiaodan. When my father heard this, he fainted.

The geography teacher asked the students, does the river flow to **?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more thing.

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Storm in Kyushu!

Hehe, I wish in advance to the brothers and sisters who are wandering outside.

Brain teaser asked Rene Liu confessed to Jay Chou, Jay Chou refused, why?

A Jay Chou said, milk tea, I only like Yoremi.

Don't be angry with the fans of Rene Liu and Jay Chou!

The origin of dumplings.

One day, Meatball was bullied by others and went to settle accounts with the dough.

Maruko 555, I'm being bullied.

It's okay, just wrap it around me.

So, there are dumplings.

On Singles' Day, I saw other people's personalized signatures: May all lovers in the world be long-lost brothers and sisters! If it's funny, give it points.

One day two mice were chatting together, and one of the mice gave the other a ** and said, "Look, this is my girlfriend, pretty, isn't it?" The other mouse took it and said:

Alas? Isn't this a bat? When the mouse heard this, he was angry, and said angrily

Nonsense, look at it, people are pilots? ”

One day Wukong knelt in front of his master and said with tears streaming down his face"Master, it's okay for you to sleep and talk in your dreams in the future, but don't recite the mantra? "

These 7 jokes are all selected by me, I laugh once I watch them, I hope you like them ha.

1.On the bus in the morning, a person took out his mobile phone from his bag to look at the time, and then said "I cao", thinking that he was too late, and then took a closer look, I cao He was holding an air conditioning remote control in his hand.

2.Everyone knows the big 28 bicycle with a girder! When I was four or five years old, I used to sit directly on the girder of my father's bicycle, and I sat on the sideways, and my feet would be numb after a long time, which was very uncomfortable!

Finally, when I went to my grandmother's house, I proposed to sit in the back seat, because then my feet would not be numb! Agreed! Haha, let's go!!

As a result, when I arrived at the destination, the cup occurred....Dad forgot about me, stepped straight from behind, and kicked me straight down...

3.In the supermarket, I saw a crab with five flowers tied up crawling from Yuan's freezer to Yuan's cabinet. I'm in tears, you're so self-motivated!

4.The school's boys' and girls' toilets are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet, and when she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's bathroom next door, and the girl lost her face and asked loudly "who", and the boy next door replied in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng." ”

5.An art teacher has a little fame in the local area, and there is a large report in a newspaper, and ** is attached, so he blows it in class: "Recently, some classmates have always told me, teacher, you are amazing, and you have published ** ...... in the newspaper.""One student:

Is there a missing person notice? From then on, the art teacher refused to allow the student to take another art class.

6.In the past, others came to my aunt's house as a guest, and they just walked in the door. It just so happened that my aunt was going to the toilet. She hurriedly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!" ”

7.My buddy has a legendary buddy in college, he has been graduating for several years, but his story is still circulating in Jix University.

When the BH buddy did his graduation project, he chose the topic: the manufacture of a perpetual motion machine.

The buddy was enthusiastically talking about his theory in front, and the teacher couldn't help but whisper (discuss whether this guy is sick).

At this time, the gorgeous came, and the guy broke the chalk and threw it at the teacher who turned around, and added: "Can you listen carefully?" ”

Lose the teacher.

The teacher asked Xiao Ming to make a sentence with the truth.

Xiao Ming said: My family's Dabai gave birth to Xiaobai, and his truth was revealed.

There is a lady who wants to ask for marriage on the Internet, and his marriage conditions are very high, so she searched for "to be handsome, to have a car"**search to give the answer: "Chess (is there a handsome car and a car!)" 'Lady doesn't give up and lay:

The lady didn't believe that she couldn't find a man, so she typed all the previous conditions into the **search: "Be handsome, have a car, be cool, have a sense of security, have a house, and have money"**The search finally gave the answer: 'Ultraman plays chess in the bank!

The lady fainted after reading it!

There were three sows passing by on the highway who had fallen into a ditch.

There were 3 people, one called Kitchen Knife, one called Trouble, and the other called me.

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and...