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To understand others, the Son once said: Do not do to others what you would not do to yourself. In the same way, do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Many people tend to make assumptions about the thoughts and needs of others, and feel that what applies to them also applies to others. You prepare a cart of apples that you love to give to the female god, and you move yourself to tears, and you can see that the other party is indifferent, and you don't feel angry from your heart. As everyone knows, what he loves is only bananas, not apples.
I agree with such a sentence: treating them differently is equal love. If you want others to understand your actual needs, first understand the actual needs of each of them, and then help and support them accordingly.
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There is a Chinese idiom called "informal", which means that sometimes you can't take a certain thing too seriously, and you should take the overall situation into account, otherwise it will affect the overall situation and even lead to failure. But in interpersonal relationships, it is precisely the most careless. I remember when I first entered the university, I once went to the dormitory next door to chat, and I still don't know what I said at that time, so my classmates turned their faces on the spot and yelled at me, and then I became strangers.
Maybe a joke that you think is normal, but because the other party has an unfinished emotion in their hearts, an unpleasant experience becomes extremely sensitive. The heart of man is very weak and sensitive, regardless of age or seniority. This is especially true for those who take the poisonous tongue for their true temperament.
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To deal with the relationship between people, to deal with this relationship, we need to understand others, tolerate others, will stand in the perspective of others to consider the problem, more importantly, to return to the nature of people, with selflessness, dedication, love, responsibility and other positive thoughts and behaviors, become a service devotee, so that the relationship between people will naturally be handled well.
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A good interpersonal relationship is indeed to be managed, a good interpersonal relationship will make you have a great help in life and work, otherwise it will have a negative impact on your life or work, after all, the close to Zhu is red and close to the ink is black, so we should adhere to the principle of gathering like things, people in groups to get closer to some people who are positive about life, and treat the people around you to be more sincere and less hypocritical.
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Don't be too high-profile, communicate with colleagues often, and don't be too isolated.
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practice makes perfect.How to overcome social phobia comes down to the phrase "practice makes perfect", and only by having more contact with people can we be proficient in dealing with various situations and interpersonal relationships. Otherwise, it is useless to just talk on paper.
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If you don't want to worry about interpersonal relationships, you can only work hard to be a person with very high emotional intelligence. When your emotional intelligence is very high, you will not find troubles in interpersonal relationships. Navigate relationships.
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I feel that if you want to deal with interpersonal relationships, buy a book about interpersonal relationships, and then the things in it should be drawn according to the gourd, and slowly improve it will become your own set of interpersonal relationship methods, so you won't be bothered by this in the future.
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The credit system of modern society is slowly improving. If the individual does not repay the loan in time, the bank will be included in the credit system, and it will be more difficult to apply for a loan in the future. At work, the habit of not being punctual will make everyone feel sorry for you, and there will be more twists and turns in cooperation.
In the enterprise, if the food quality problem is the best, it will be spurned by consumers, and it is difficult to make a comeback. Trustworthiness is a large savings, and the cost of breach of trust often outweighs any other loss. Before making a promise, be cautious and think twice, lest you lose your trust.
But there are always uncontrollable accidents that make it impossible to keep promises, and it may no longer be possible to keep them. At this time, the reason for the non-fulfillment should be explained to the parties until the other party allows the end of the fulfillment of the promise.
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I recommend you to read the three books "The Weakness of Human Nature", "Square and Circle" and "The Art of Communication", you must read them carefully, think carefully, and believe that a humble attitude, coupled with skills, will bring you good interpersonal relationships.
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Since you lack the ability to do this, you should interact with others more frequently, exercise your ability to get along with others, and sum up experience in the process of getting along.
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Ruskin once said: "The weak will be cruel, and only the strong know how to be gentle." "Those who make mistakes but can't pull their faces down to apologize to each other are often weak in their hearts, and the weaker they are, the more bluff they become.
They are afraid that apologizing will make them weak, and it is easier for others to take advantage of their mistakes.
Only those who are firm in their hearts and have a deep sense of security regard admitting their mistakes as perfecting their personal moral cultivation.
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Be yourself, improve yourself, and when you become excellent, good popularity will naturally come.
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I'm not bothered at all. Whether it's worth it or not is too much, why bother yourself about other people's choices.
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I don't want to do that.
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Almost everyone encounters various challenges and problems in their lives, so it's impossible to change things without worries at all. However, the following points can help alleviate some of the annoyances:
1.Face the problem positively.
Don't run away from the problem, but look for a solution to it. Learn to look at the situation realistically, and try to find opportunities and growth from problems.
2.Keep your balance.
Learning to balance work, life, social interactions, etc., is beneficial for reducing stress and anxiety. Organize your time wisely, find free time to do things that interest you, and maintain your physical and mental health.
3.Learn to deal with setbacks.
Challenges and failures are common in life, and it is important to learn to deal with failures and setbacks, learn from them and not give up easily.
4.Stay positive.
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1. Earn more money and save more money.
Money can buy what you want, money can give you the life you want, money can help you earn the respect of your relatives, friends, and everyone around you. Having money will give you more choices and will reduce your life stress and psychological burden.
2. Stay away from garbage people, and don't have too much communication with people whose cognitive abilities are too different.
Staying away from garbage people with extremely bad habits will avoid getting into trouble, and socializing with these people, their behavior will make you sick and disappointed, and it won't do you any good.
Don't have too much communication with people who are too different in cognitive ability, it's a pure waste of time, not only will you not be able to help him, but sometimes you will offend him.
3. Find a thing that you like to have fun with, and can have long-term benefits, stick to it for ten years, and you will be stupid to return to more than 90% of your peers, and you can get a lot of benefits.
For example, writing is done from **, to so-and-so** to upload information, and to so-and-so ** to do dubbing. These are good long-term projects.
4. Focus on your own affairs, regardless of other people's idle things.
5. Cherish time and use your time to work hard to manage yourself.
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1.Learn to treat people with sincerity: Treat everyone equally, regardless of social status and status. Remember, sincerity is the foundation of good relationships.
2.Learn to communicate with others: Good communication skills are the key to avoiding relationship troubles. Try to talk more about the other person's affairs and less about your own, try to see things from the other person's point of view, and develop empathy.
3.Learn to read words: Observe other people's actions, verbal cues, and expressions in order to better understand their thoughts and feelings. Only by knowing oneself and knowing one's opponent can we better interact with others.
4.Learn to appreciate others: People usually like people who show appreciation and encouragement to themselves. In interactions, try to show appreciation to others, which will help build good relationships.
5.Learn to be different: Everyone is unique, and learn to adapt your interactions to the personality and needs of others.
6.Keep the right distance: While relationships that are clearly close to each other can help reduce loneliness and improve quality of life, excessive closeness can lead to relationship problems. Learn to maintain proper social distancing to protect your personal space.
7.Learn to ask for help: If you're having serious problems with relationships, don't be shy or avoid asking for help. You can seek help from family, friends or a professional counselor.
Through the above methods, you can better manage your interpersonal relationships and reduce the distress caused by them.
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Do a good job of yourself, inside and outside, in order to be high and wide.
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1. Analyze the causes of this distress and prescribe the right medicine.
If you are tired in interpersonal communication, first analyze the reasons for this distress, such as being rejected by too much negative energy, asking for help in everything, often saying bad things about others, not being able to say things about the scene, not pleasing people, accidentally exposing others' shortcomings, causing trouble to others, and comparing too much, etc., these interpersonal interactions do not grasp the limit, and they are prone to trouble.
If the specific cause is analyzed, pay close attention to the right medicine. Find ways to improve your autonomy, get things done well, and stop bothering others. Pay attention to the way you speak, and don't offend people anymore.
Don't use your strengths against the weaknesses of others to attract jealousy. Problems in interpersonal communication often reflect your lack of certain abilities, and there will be unexpected surprises when you will make up for the shortcomings to change and make up for them.
2. Adjust your own mentality.
Society is complex. Everyone is an individual, with their own subjective consciousness, and you can't change the public. Instead of compromising and blindly fitting in with the group, it is better to keep the original intention and find a way to adjust your mentality.
For example, look at the good and evil of interpersonal communication normally, open your mind to learn the advantages of others, establish common interests with others, and improve your own level. Hinting at one's own friendly intentions to others, knowing how to give others a helping hand, lowering expectations, and becoming less dependent, self-cultivation is more important than anything else.
3. Improve emotional intelligence and manage interpersonal relationships well.
Emotional intelligence acts as a lubricant in interpersonal interactions, not only examining our own shortcomings, but also helping us to hone in our relationships. In interpersonal communication, don't reject and judge people by their appearance for insignificant little people. Learn to have self-cultivation and let yourself have a broader pattern.
Communicate comfortably, sometimes it is not necessary to tell the truth, it may hurt others, it will become a burden on communication, and it will also be considered not a sign of high emotional intelligence.
Improve your emotional intelligence and manage all your relationships well. Don't be upset when you don't have friends, don't complain when you're left out by friends, and think about whether your emotional intelligence really matches someone else's relationship with you. Find your weaknesses and correct them.
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There are indeed a lot of troubles in interpersonal communication, such as sometimes not knowing what kind of person others are, not knowing what kind of help they need, etc., and sometimes it is difficult for others to understand.
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First of all, find the cause of distress and improve yourself in this area; Then, find your strengths, improve yourself, make extraordinary achievements, cover up weaknesses, improve self-confidence, and reduce distress.
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The most direct and effective way to reduce the distress in interpersonal communication is to have selective interactions, contact more people who make you happy and happy, and stay away from those who will bring you distress and negative influence.
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There will be all kinds of distress in the process of interpersonal communication, and the reasons for each other are different, so they also need different ways to solve them, the most important thing is to find the cause, and then prescribe the right medicine, for example, if you are distressed because you are not good at talking, you can let yourself communicate with others more and exercise yourself.
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When you interact with different people, you will have different troubles, and I think what you need to do is to learn more interpersonal skills, so that no matter what kind of person you interact with, you will have a way to deal with it.
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If we want to reduce the distress in interpersonal communication, then we should learn to empathize and find ways to improve our emotional intelligence, so that there will not be so many troubles.
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I can usually learn some social methods and precautions in private, and use more methods in the process of practice, which is actually a more interesting thing for myself.
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If you want to reduce this distress, you should know how to learn some rules of dealing with people, and on the other hand, you should make yourself optimistic and positive, so that you can do it.
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When you want to reduce the distress in interpersonal communication, you should compare your heart with your heart on weekdays, people are all connected, there is someone to talk to when you are difficult, and there is someone to greet when you are sick, which will make your heart feel much better.
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If you understand that this world is not perfect in the first place, and that you can't completely eliminate people or things that you think are not good, then accept it, you don't need to care about other people's feelings, you don't care about your own feelings. Be sincere and frank, not insidious and cunning, everyone is willing to be friends with you, it depends on whether you are willing to be friends with others, and it is enough to have a few confidants in your life. I believe that this world is beautiful, there are unbeautiful things, I don't bother it, when it comes to disturb me, I accept it tolerantly, I understand that others have a lot of shortcomings like me, maybe I will not be used to it, but I put myself in the shoes of others and think about it, in fact, I also have many shortcomings like him, I hope others can forgive me, so I don't forgive others, why should others forgive me? >>>More
I think that since I have realized this problem, it means that the first step of improvement has begun, learn to take the initiative and be calm, everything is a process, try to improve yourself and let the people around you pay attention, of course, there is no need to deliberately pay attention to others, because people are emotional, and others will notice their own changes, you say how others are sorry for you, in fact, I have also had such thoughts, people are different, maybe others express emotions in different ways, try to understand a person, Think about the problem from the perspective of others, open your heart to accept yourself and others, and life will slowly get better! Good luck!
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