What are some of the moments that make you feel that the other person s emotional intelligence is lo

When I was in college, I was tested for tuberculosis by the school. After an initial examination, our dormitory director was diagnosed with tuberculosis, but the doctor said that it was not contagious. Later, everyone knew about it, and a boy in the dormitory next door who liked to joke and had a good relationship with him came to our dormitory again and again, pointed at him and said, "If you have tuberculosis, don't you leave quickly, you want to infect all of us."

Hurry up, hurry up" Our dormitory director knew that he usually liked to joke, and he didn't pay attention to him, so he smiled at him. He was laughing at it endlessly. At that time, everyone in our dormitory felt quite embarrassed, and they didn't want to tell him something because of a joke.

But I think this kind of person who treats vitriolism as humor actually has a very low emotional intelligence.

My parents sent me to college, and when I arrived at school, I met a roommate in the same dormitory, and we didn't know each other well at that time, so we didn't have much communication. After living under the same roof for a month, he suddenly said to me: Your mother is so fat and ugly in clothes.

Then I smiled and said, "Really? He nodded affirmatively.

When he nodded, I grabbed him by the hair and slammed it against the table, and then rode on him and punched him a lot. In the end, I got my first school discipline.

For a while, he was often invited by friends to his house to play, and his friends also stayed at his grandmother's house. One night was still stalked to invite his family to eat seafood, as soon as he entered the door he told me that his grandfather was annoying me, said why I always come over, at that time I wanted to leave in an instant, for the sake of face or barely finished eating, just finished eating, originally wanted to sit for five minutes and then leave, he suddenly said to me: come, I will send you.

After the graduate students are enrolled, the people in the laboratory will eat with the supervisor, which is considered a team building. A boy in the laboratory said to the tutor: "I contacted Mr. XX first, and he didn't want me to come to this laboratory", only to see the corner of the tutor's mouth twitching slightly, his face stiff, and we silently thought in our hearts why this person couldn't speak so much.

There is a young man in the marketing department, angry and young, very unpopular with the leader, his circle of friends blocked the leader but forgot to block his colleagues, so he scolded the leader in the circle of friends and the words were all known by the leader. Once when we were on a business trip, the boss insisted on sending it downstairs, and when I got into the car and just wanted to put down the glass to say goodbye, the driver drove the car away.

The boss's wife runs a marketing training company, in fact, it is a chicken blood course, but every year we will sign a cooperation agreement with our company, not long ago the company has a new manager in charge of training, repeatedly told the boss that such training is a fraud money, and later, this colleague went very peacefully.

That day, I went to the supermarket to buy bread and yogurt, and while I was picking bread, I heard a well-dressed grandmother arguing with the aunt who was checking out at the checkout place. It should be to the effect that the old grandmother bought a bottle of mineral water and wanted her aunt to help her look at the production date and confirm whether it had expired. It should have been a very simple thing, but the aunt refused this request very strongly, and kept emphasizing that the water in our house has just entered, and it must not have expired The attitude is very bad, maybe this aunt doesn't want to help see it, because there are too many such miscellaneous requirements before, so she is very disgusted with this request, but it is really a matter of taking a look, and you can save the meaningless battle of tongues after that.

When I got married last year, I helped my relative arrange a room in the hotel, and my relative A loved to snore, and it was nothing to describe it as snoring like thunder. It happened that the number of people was singular, and I arranged a separate room for my relative A. When I took them to the elevator, I gave the room card to my relative A and said:

You are the oldest here, and the bed in the double room is afraid that you will not sleep comfortably, so I specially arranged a double bed room for you. "Then relative B said:"Relative A purred so loudly that he couldn't sleep at all in a room with him, so let him sleep well!

In the elevator, there are relatives from my father's side and my mother's side, plus a hotel waiter, bustling with elevator people. The air was suddenly quiet, leaving only the corners of Relative A's mouth twitching.

People with low emotional intelligence are always unlikable, and relationships between friends, family, and colleagues will get worse and worse. So what are the same kinds of performance do people with low emotional intelligence have?

1. Speak straightforwardly and without caring about other people's feelings. My colleague Xiao H is a typical person of round orange burning, F in her forties finally mustered up the courage to change her short hair, and as soon as she entered the office, she said loudly: Why do you cut your hair so short?

Short hair doesn't suit you, your face is too big! It made F embarrassed and was in a bad mood all day.

Sometimes others happily wear a laundry dress to work, and as soon as H comes, they say: You have bought new clothes! But this color is too bright for you! Who would like such a person?

Second, I like to dismantle other people's platforms. This kind of person likes to pour cold water on others, no matter what others say, he can always find rebuttals to spoil the fun.

3. Be emotional, make a big fuss, and will not find a step for self-emptiness. I'm ashamed to say that my husband and I belong to this kind of person, our relationship is actually good, but we always love to quarrel because of a little thing, and the quarrel is very fierce. The reason for this is that the two of us are easy to be emotional, and when we are in a fight, just a sentence between the other party unintentionally causes a war, resulting in an unwarranted waste of time and hurting feelings.

I hope you don't want to be a person with low emotional intelligence anymore.

Such a person is what we often call "a tall man in the mouth, a short man in action", no matter what he does, he likes to "die to save face", and he does not like to work on porcelain without diamonds. Such people should not be too difficult to meet in daily life, they are usually more "face-saving", enjoy the kind of pride in being in front of others, and they themselves are half a bottle of water shaking, and when the project is really accepted, they will not see others. In fact, sometimes whether it is in daily life, or at work, or in the process of getting along with friends, everyone does not need to put themselves in the main position all the time, how much ability to do a lot of things, sometimes modesty and studious can win the favor of everyone.

Some people can't cover up no matter what they do, and they need to say it when they encounter a little big thing, and they need to be thousands of times bigger when they encounter a little hardship and unsatisfactory in life, as if they can't get over this hurdle without confiding in their friends, in fact, it's usually thunder and rain, in fact, there is nothing good to talk about at all;

Another point is that it is manifested in putting all the likes and dislikes of a person on the face, for fear that others will not know. In fact, sometimes we should be a little more "convergent" in dealing with people, understand the truth of relaxation, don't let others see through you at a glance, whether you like a person or not, and don't show too much, so that you can reap good results.

We usually use "fried woo" to describe a person's rough and unstable work, has always been in a hurry, and the mind has not been thought out clearly, and the hand has already begun to act. Although there are some levels that everyone advocates not to be too hesitant to do things, to be resolute, not all situations apply to this, for example, in many key things, such as making important decisions, you must think clearly first, and then act, even if you encounter a big thing, you must say to yourself in your heart to calm down first and then talk about it. In a situation of extreme tension and impetuousness, it is difficult for people to think rationally, and only calm professionals can achieve great things.

There are often such people around us, that is, when they encounter any setbacks in their lives, it is easy to let themselves fall into a "negative" emotion, denying all themselves after a failure, feeling that they have achieved nothing, and they are a useless person, who has nothing to do, and is trapped in their own emotions to get worse and worse. Such people are easily manipulated by emotions, and cannot experience great successes and failures, which is a manifestation of poor psychological quality, and such people may integrate negative emotions into the lives of others in their daily life. Therefore, we must prevent ourselves from becoming "slaves" of our emotions, and we want to gradually learn to manipulate them and become the real masters of our emotions.

Can't speak, can't read faces, says some wrong things on inappropriate occasions, likes to rely on others, has no opinions, doesn't know how to be flexible.

It is easy to panic when encountering things, can not effectively control their emotions, can't restrain their temper, and often shows off their temper in front of others.

In general, he will definitely not speak, nor look at other people's faces, he is self-centered, he cannot observe, and he always says the wrong thing.

Huang Bo once said: What is high emotional intelligence? That is, neither embarrass the other person nor embarrass oneself. People with high emotional intelligence will be better at observing a person's behavior and expressions.

In fact, emotional intelligence is the focus of people's attention recently, and not long ago, netizens on Weibo and Zhihu discussed the word emotional intelligence.

One. Xiao Liu's boyfriend is a straight man, the very straight kind. I remember that when they fell in love at that time, he often took Xiao Liu to go shopping and buy things, and Xiao Liu Tanqing was very happy and bought a lot of cosmetics.

Once Xiao Liu's boyfriend invited her out to watch a movie, Xiao Liu was waiting for her boyfriend at the door of the movie answering filial piety house at 7 o'clock in the evening, who knew that when her boyfriend arrived, he stared at Xiao Liu's eyelids and said, "What is this thing on your eyes?" I'll take it down for you.

> he immediately ripped off my double eyelid patches. This scene happened to be seen by the girl who was buying popcorn next to her. The little girl smiled and said to Xiao Liu

Sister, your eyes are beautiful. You look prettier without other decorations. Your boyfriend really has a visionary ......”

This sentence immediately broke the awkward atmosphere between Xiao Liu and her boyfriend. In the end, her boyfriend bought Xiao Liu popcorn, and they happily went to the movies.

Two. A classmate of mine went to a relative's house for the New Year that she didn't know well, and the relative gave her a red envelope, about a few hundred yuan. But when she left her relative's house after the New Year, she left the red envelope on the table and remembered it after going out.

Think about it and take it, it's too embarrassing, don't take it, and I'm unwilling.

Later, she walked out of the courtyard gate and shouted into the inner room: "Auntie, I put the red envelope on your table, don't give it to me!" When the relative heard this, he paid it back, and chased him out with the red envelope.

So, my classmate "excused himself in every possible way", and finally accepted it "very embarrassed".

I was flashed to my old waist by her tricky operation, this is the big brother!

Some people say that the so-called high emotional intelligence is to speak well. The cultivation of a person's emotional intelligence often begins with speaking well.

I once read a story that left a deep impression on me: a friend had a stutter and spoke very slowly. One day, a few of them were walking on the road, and they met someone who came to ask for directions, but they didn't expect that the person who asked the passerby turned out to be a stuttering pure.

During the whole process of asking for directions, the stuttering friend did not say a word.

The companions were surprised, and when the person asking for directions left, they asked him why he had been so silent just now. My friend who stuttered said, "People stutter too, and if I speak, they will think I'm imitating and teasing." ”

Sometimes, your unintentional words may make the scene awkward and make the atmosphere tense.

Being able to speak is a kind of ability, but knowing how not to say it at the right time is a rare kindness. People with high emotional intelligence often have the ability to perceive people's hearts, be able to understand the emotions and positions of others, and take into account the feelings of others when speaking and doing things.

In fact, when it comes to everyone's low emotional intelligence, it is self-deprecation, and another manifestation is that they have less experience, know less things, communicate less and communicate less, once the words are opened and say a lot, the things said are boring, there is no level, slow response, etc., this actually does not mean that the emotional intelligence is low, and it will not be low emotional intelligence if you need to practice. First of all, you should be concise and steady when talking to people, don't say some nonsense when you meet people, only what others say, follow what others say, listen carefully, think about it again, and get to the point, so that other people's topics, others are naturally willing to listen, and over time, your ability to discern words can be improved. In addition, read more books of all kinds and increase your knowledge, no one will think that your EQ is low, and the low EQ is mainly in terms of speaking.

If you have a high IQ but a low EQ, then you need to exercise yourself more socially, reach out to those who are higher than you, and see how they think and behave. Think more about things and don't do them directly. Slowly, your emotional intelligence will increase!

If your IQ is not too high, and your EQ is not high, then you should read more books and work hard to improve your knowledge.

The level of emotional intelligence is more or less related to the way you live, and it is also helpful to make appropriate lifestyle changes.

Improving emotional intelligence doesn't happen overnight, it needs to change slowly! So we have to cherish the life we have now.