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Our babies are very well-behaved and cute when they are born, but as they get older, why are children so difficult to discipline? I'm very naughty at home, and I like to damage things, and I always make trouble when my mother is doing things! When the child has such a problem, the parents do not listen, many times the anger is started, but the child still does not have a long memory, what should I do with this kind of soft and hard children?
Someone once did a survey and found that the behavior that parents dislike most about their children is disobedience. It is precisely because of this behavior of hating children that if this situation occurs in children, it is easy to attract the anger of parents, leading to habitual yelling at children and pouring negative emotions on children. That's not right.
First of all, we need to understand why children are disobedient.
One is that they don't understand their parents' instructions, and sometimes their parents' instructions are very simple and easy to understand, but the children may not be able to understand the meaning. The second is the rebellious period, it is normal for the rebellious period to show disobedience, on the one hand, the children in the rebellious period will show great disgust with the orders of their parents. Therefore, we should try to speak in a consultative tone with our children.
On the other hand, you should think about whether the parents' requirements are reasonable, and don't force your children to do what you don't want to do, if others force you to do things you don't want to do, you will also show disobedience. <>
So instead of yelling at their children, parents can try to use "whispered education". Whispered education refers to parents talking gently with their children under the condition of controlling their emotions.
What are the benefits of whispering education for children?
1. Children are not easily affected by negative emotions.
2. The child is able to accept the advice of his parents.
How can parents use "whispered education" to make their children well-behaved?
1. Calm your emotions and learn to manage them.
2. Mark the child's feelings at this time.
3. Listen and help children find solutions <>
In the daily education of children, let the children think about the solution, if the child does not think of a good solution, then the parents can give some methods to the child. Just yelling at the child has no effect, more needs guidance.
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You can talk to him calmly, don't get too excited, reason with him, let him understand that what he is doing is wrong, or directly warn him and let him bear the consequences.
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Educating children is to pay attention to skills, loud screaming is not the way to educate children, when children make mistakes, let children know the seriousness of the consequences of doing this, so that children can be educated well.
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Watch the child roar from the side, don't reprimand, wait for both parties to calm down, and guide the child to educate.
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Then you should communicate with them well when they are in a good mood, and ignore them when they are disobedient.
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Introduction: If you suddenly find that your child doesn't listen to your own words, you must learn to communicate with your child and see if your child has his own unique ideas in his heart. If you find that your child has a unique idea, don't stop your child, let your child be good at behaving so that he can know what he should need.
Parents should communicate with their children appropriately and understand their children's ideas, so that their children can develop better. Today, I will tell you, how to solve the problem that children do not listen to their parents?
If parents want their children to get good development, they must first tell their children how to do it, when the child is young, if he is not obedient, parents can also help the child make adjustments appropriately, so as not to make the child feel very uncomfortable, and the child will be very uncomfortable. If parents find that their children are unable to listen to their own opinions, they should help them make changes appropriately so that they can understand what kind of things they should do. Parents should let their children learn to cherish, learn to be obedient, when the child is young, if he is not obedient, he will do some bad things, parents should stop the child in time, can not let the child have this kind of behavior, the child will be very uncomfortable, now we must take into account the development of the child, do not let the child be affected badly.
If the child is affected badly, parents and friends must also help the child solve it, so that the child will become very happy.
Parents find that no matter what they say, if the child has no way to be obedient, they should listen to the child's opinion appropriately, think about the problem from the child's point of view, and let the child feel that he is valued. If the child finds that he is valued, he is willing to listen to the parents, he is willing to follow the guidance of the parents, and the parents should change their thoughts appropriately, so as not to let their ideas have a bad impact on the child, and the child will be very sad. Parents can talk to their children more when they are fine, and with parents' conversations, children will also tell their parents all their thoughts, and parents can also understand what their children are thinking.
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When the child does not listen to the parents, the parents should change a way of education, formulate corresponding rules for the child, punish the child when the child is disobedient, teach the child some lessons, and let the child know the consequences of disobedience.
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Be sure to communicate with your child, understand your child's inner thoughts, be sure to alleviate your child's emotions, and tell your child that you are doing it for his good.
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Parents should think from the child's point of view, analyze the pros and cons with the child, let the child understand what is the right thing to do, and let the child understand what the reason for doing so is.
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When the child is disobedient, why not use some reward and punishment measures, on the one hand, it can also attract the child's concentration, and on the other hand, it can also help solve the problem reasonably. In the case of children who don't do their homework after school, parents can tell their children that if you do your homework first after school every day.
I'm going to allow you to watch the TV for 10 minutes more, but if you watch TV first, you'll only watch 10 minutes less per day. Secondly, the mother can also reward the child with a gift, if he can do his homework early, he promises to give them an object of his liking, and vice versa. Doing so is equivalent to creating a multiple-choice question for the child, and it is up to them how to choose.
In fact, the fundamental reason why children can't listen to their parents is that there is a problem with the early education method, and there is no set of standards for them, so that they can develop their own and willful bad habits. Therefore, if you want to solve the difficulties reasonably, you naturally have to find a way from the source. Why don't parents set a series of requirements for their children, such as what to do first after school, and slowly, this concept will be formed in their minds, and the definition will eventually become habitual, and the problem will be solved.
When children disagree with themselves, or they are not sensible, parents must first calm their emotions and figure out the causes of these problems. Whether it is a child or an adult, she has a temperament, and if the parents yell at her as soon as they come up, he will definitely resist, which is not conducive to solving the problem.
When faced with children's problems, communication is the most important way to educate. Children are an independent individual, also have their own thoughts, in the event of conflicts, parents can communicate with them more, so that they can fully understand what he thinks, find the essence of the problem, and turn small things into small things. Instead of ignoring the three-seven-twenty-one, just yell at the child directly, and then think about the problem, which is easy to make the contradictions between each other more violent.
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Let the emotions of the two stabilize first, and then find an opportunity to communicate together. Children need to know how to think about their parents.
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We can patiently reason with our children, tell them what should and shouldn't, and learn to regulate their behavior.
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I think that in this case, parents can communicate with their children and exchange certain conditions.
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The friend's child is the legendary bear child. Every day is a crazy pace. Usually make trouble at home.
The point is that there are all kinds of vexatious troubles outside, and once a friend took the children out to play, and it was especially fun to play with the children outside. It was supposed to be a happy day. As a result, on the way back, the child made a fuss, and made all kinds of noise in the taxi, which was very difficult to beat.
Parents want to set rules for their children, and both parties must reach an agreement so that children can easily follow them, and they cannot stop at the rules that have been made.
There are too many times when the bear child is disobedient. I know it's not good to scold, but when you meet the kind of person who can bully you, can you really bear it? It's useless to beat and scold, but there are so many ways to cure a child, why put up with it?
Make good rules. The friend's child is the legendary bear child. Every day is a crazy pace.
Usually make trouble at home. The key is that there are all kinds of vexatious troubles outside, and once a friend took the children out to play, and it was very fun to play with the children outside. It was supposed to be a happy day.
As a result, on the way back, the child made a fuss, and it was difficult to fight in the taxi. Parents want to set rules for their children, and both parties must reach an agreement so that children can easily follow them, and they cannot stop at the rules that have been made.
Parents want to set rules for their children, and both parties must reach an agreement, so that our children can easily follow them, and we can't stop with the rules that have been made. The friend's child is the legendary bear child. Every day is a crazy pace.
Usually make trouble at home. The point is that there are all kinds of vexatious troubles outside, and once a friend took the children out to play, and it was especially fun to play with the children outside. It was supposed to be a happy day.
As a result, on the way back, the child made a fuss, and it was difficult to fight in the taxi.
Parents should set rules for their children, and both parties must reach an agreement so that children can easily follow them, and they cannot stop at the rules that have been formulated.
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Children need the affirmation and love of their parents, so you must not tell your child calmly what to do. If we are angry, we should also sit down with our children and guess and talk about it, so that the effect will be better.
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Don't yell at him, because the child is still very young at this time, and if you yell at him, it will make the child more distrustful of himself, and even more disobedient.
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For those who say that the child is disobedient when he is a child, it is best not to yell at the parents of the penitential stool. Because it may make the child have a shadow in the heart of the blue ant brigade, and there is a certain psychological disorder.
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1. Ask your child to pause time.
Suspension time is a way to educate children culturally advocated by authoritative experts in foreign education. If your child does something wrong, it is best to put your child in a quiet corner and let him calm down for a while. When you scold your child, it will give your child mixed messages, and the girl will want to know why you can hit her, but she can't hit her brother.
It is a wise choice to give your child a pause to teach him or her to calm himself down.
2. Selective neglect.
Sometimes selective neglect is more reasonable than hitting a child. Selective neglect is not the same as if the child has done something terrible or inappropriate. For example, when she complains or has unreasonable standards, parents can pretend not to hear until there is a good change in her behavior, and give the child attention first, so that over time, the child will also know that polite behavior can meet its needs in a better way.
3. Take away the child's rights.
The method of scolding the child is still more efficient in a short time, and the form of taking away the child's rights can be more long-lasting. For example, children are not allowed to play games, do not buy snacks for her, etc. Punish her with what she wants, and establish a time for punishment with your child, reminding him not to repeat the same incorrectness.
4. Teach children new professional skills.
Hitting a child only has the effect of making the child stop his personal behavior in the past, and it will not let the child know what to do next time is the right thing, and even the child himself does not know what was wrong. When a child does something wrong, parents can teach their children how to solve the problem, correctly guide the child to better manage their own mood, so that the child can reduce the problem behavior in the future, and deal with the child's mistakes.
5. Give logical consequences to your child.
For example, if the child does not eat dinner, then do not let him eat his favorite snacks before bedtime, if the child does not tidy up after playing, do not let him not play for the rest of the day, combine the child's wrong behavior with the bad influence, so that the child can know that the previous practice will lead to unsatisfactory adverse effects, and can effectively help the child solve the difficulties.
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01 Be gentle and firm.
When children always regard their parents' words as "deaf ears", parents should pay attention to whether their discipline is "right in the middle", or whether the child knowingly violates the law and deliberately uses "contrarian tune" to rebel against parents.
02 Listen to your child.
What is most lacking in family education is the process of "listening to children", which is almost all unilaterally controlled by parents. Therefore, parents should learn to listen to their children first.
03 Stick to principles.
No matter what you do, you should have a bottom line, and educating children is no exception, and parents should have their own principles.
Don't let others yell at the children themselves, and ask their children to do it if they do well; We should focus on the child's strengths, give the child a certain amount of time and space, encourage the child more, let the child feel the love from the parents and the sense of belonging to the family, so that the child is willing to believe and rely on the parents.
If the child is disobedient, parents should first give him reasonable and kind persuasion. If you really don't listen, you can only use "force" to solve it, although it is rude but very effective.
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