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The old man is like that, you don't have to take it to heart, you should be joking, in fact, the old man said those words unintentionally, you have to be confident in yourself, you can also jokingly say, you have more temperament than his ex-girlfriend, you can also say that the nose is like you, the mouth is like your husband, you can also say that the personality should be as cheerful and lively as you, in fact, everyone has their own advantages, really love your in-laws, love them like your husband, they will also love their sons and love you, come on!
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It is very important to marry someone and marry a good man who is suitable for you, but it is even more important to have a sensible in-laws! Otherwise, no matter how good a couple is, they can't withstand the toss of bad in-laws. Don't say that as long as your husband understands, it's annoying after a long time.
The sons of the world are all oriented to their parents. After having a child, you are even more angry. Your in-laws won't feel sorry for you, they will only calculate and guard against you everywhere.
Of course, I don't deny that there are good in-laws who treat their daughters-in-law politely and don't interfere with the little couple all day long, but there are too few!
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It depends on your relationship, if you have a good relationship and decide to get married. Then, you have to show them with practical actions that you are good!
Let them know that they are marrying a daughter-in-law, marrying someone who can share the ups and downs with their son and accompany them for a lifetime, not a vase!
If you just met and your feelings are not very deep, then it's time to let go. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been the most intense contradiction in family relationships, and it is like this before marriage, and there must be many problems after marriage.
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Hearing you say this, it is me and I will also be very uncomfortable, and there will be a shadow in my heart.
But if you think about it, what they are talking about is just the phenomenon of appearance, you don't need to care too much, you can show your other beauty from all aspects after you get married in the future. When the time comes, them off.
The first time I went to my boyfriend's house, his parents told my boyfriend that I was a bit old-fashioned, and this sentence made me remember it until now (the long journey to their house, the train, the ticket, and the car, it really makes me tired people not like people, ghosts are not like ghosts). I don't bother with them, so I say they don't know, huh...
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After getting married, I live independently, and I usually think more about their good and stay away.
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If you are confident enough in yourself, prove to them that you are a very good daughter-in-law, definitely better than his ex-girlfriend.
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If you can, start planning to raise money now and buy a house and move out later, otherwise it will be only a matter of time before you and your mother-in-law break out into motivational arguments.
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First of all, it needs to be clear that mother-in-law and husband are not the same thing. Mother-in-law is their mother, they have a family connection, and you are their wife, you have a loving connection. Therefore, the emotional response to the mother-in-law and husband will also be different.
If you hate your mother-in-law, you can try the following:
1.Respect for your mother-in-law. Although you may not fully agree with your mother-in-law's actions or opinions, you should respect her presence and try to avoid conflict with her.
2.Communicate. If you disagree with your mother-in-law's behavior or opinions, try to communicate with her to understand her thoughts and feelings. At the same time, you can also express your own opinions and feelings, but pay attention to the way and tone.
3.Keep your distance. If you feel that you can't improve your relationship with your mother-in-law, try to keep your distance and avoid too much contact.
If you start to hate your husband, it may be because of your mother-in-law's problems that have affected your relationship. It is recommended that you be honest with your husband, tell him how you feel, and work together on how to deal with the problem. If needed, you can also seek professional help, such as a marriage counselor.
In short, it should be clear that the mother-in-law and the husband are two separate individuals, and they should not be equated. When dealing with your mother-in-law, pay attention to respecting and understanding her presence and try to avoid conflicts. At the same time, you should maintain communication with your husband and work together on how to deal with this problem to maintain the relationship between you.
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After getting married, I was very repulsive to my mother-in-law, what do you think is going on? For many families, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been the most difficult family relationship.
In many families, conflicts and disputes arise because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even affect the harmony of husband and wife, and even lead to divorce. Therefore, a good mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
It is very beneficial to family harmony. In reality, however, this is not the case. Some daughters-in-law may not like their mother-in-law very much for the following reasons:
<> mother-in-law doesn't treat her daughter-in-law as a family member at all when some cocoa doesn't seem to put her own family, such as every time she eats, the mother-in-law will always eat delicious food directly in front of his son, and some mothers-in-law will put it directly in front of herself, regardless of her son's feelings, afraid of his daughter-in-law and robbery. These mothers-in-law usually do not treat their daughters-in-law as family members, but as outsiders, and do not even give them the least face in front of family members. If it takes a long time, you will often feel cold to your mother-in-law, lose your initial goodwill, and even perform various duties to your husband, which will seriously affect the relationship between husband and wife.
If it doesn't work, it often leads to divorce and other consequences.
Often belittles their daughters-in-law in front of outsidersSome mothers-in-law are always dissatisfied with their daughters-in-law, not only in the face of their daughters-in-law at home, but also often belittle their daughters-in-law in front of outsiders, resulting in the mother-in-law's daughter-in-law becoming less and less disliked and all kinds of conflicts and disputes between the two parties will erupt. Even though some daughters-in-law want to maintain a good relationship with her mother-in-law, the mother-in-law does not give her any chance. In the long run, the daughter-in-law is very disappointed in her mother-in-law, and will not try to please her, but will get by or divorce directly.
Speak ill of his daughter-in-law in front of his son in private.
Some mothers-in-law are even more disgusting. They often speak ill of their daughter-in-law in front of their sons. In the eyes of many daughters-in-law, they can point out their opinions in person and let both parties discuss, which will greatly promote the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
However, in reality, some mothers-in-law will not do this. They will not directly point out the shortcomings of their daughter-in-law, but tell their son in private, full of malice, and even provoke the relationship between their daughter-in-law and son.
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Because the three views do not match, the values do not match, the world view does not match, and the outlook on life does not match.
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Probably because of some contradiction.
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Falling in love and getting married are two different things, when you are very repulsive to your mother-in-law after marriage and feel that your married life is not so good, you need to correct your attitude, don't be affected by negative emotions, try to integrate into their lives, and change your thoughts about married life.
After all, her mother-in-law is not her own mother, and she has no blood relationship with her, but if she marries the other party, she should respect the other party's mother, so that she will be respected by the other party. When you are very repulsive to your mother-in-law, think more about each other, think about what your mother-in-law has done to you, and don't ask too much for her, so that you won't be disappointed too much.
After getting married, I don't feel so good, this is because I haven't found something worthy of my happiness, you must understand that falling in love and getting married actually don't have a big impact on yourself, just try to do your own thing. No matter what you want to do or go, as long as it doesn't hinder everyone, follow your heart, don't have too many scruples, I don't think the other party will think too much. Being a woman who knows how to be happy with herself will always get more, and instead of complaining about unsatisfactory married life, it is better to find things to do for yourself, so that you will make yourself more fulfilled and happy.
There is indeed a great change between married life and your original life, and you need to slowly correct your attitude, and don't use the original standards to demand from each other, so that you will definitely not get satisfactory results. It does take time to run in when you just get married, don't have too many suspicions, as long as you have a clear conscience, and work hard to run your own small family.
Married life needs to be grasped by yourself, don't have too many expectations and requirements for this, and try to do your part well. When you really know the members of your family, you will see the good in them, and you will complain less and be more satisfied.
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I think that at this time, we must adjust our mentality in time, strengthen communication with my mother-in-law, find interesting things in life, and constantly improve my ability.
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The days must go on but don't be so negative, whether it is thought or emotion has been negative and sluggish, it will only make people lose their spirits, and even people and things begin to reject, as the saying goes: "There are always more ways than difficulties", you have such a psychology Many newlyweds have been, after all, love is a matter of two people and marriage is a matter of two families, when you get married from an environment to an environment that you are never familiar with, this needs to adapt to the process, your living habits and language may make you a little uncomfortable, It is believed that there is always a solution that suggests this.
Don't compare before falling in love with after getting married. Love is not the same as marriage, so before and after marriage, men's attitude towards you will change, including mother-in-law, don't think they are chameleons, have two faces, to learn to empathize, stand in the perspective of men, in order to let women marry into the door, of course, they will be exhausted, mother-in-law is even more said that will be like a daughter to you, after marriage, you will find that this is not the case, it is recommended that after marriage, the mind will be transferred to live at home, do not entangle those little love.
In fact, he lives separately from his mother-in-law. Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a difficult problem to solve, so it is recommended to live separately from the mother-in-law and do not mix together, after all, the mother-in-law of that era and modern young people will have a big generation gap in thought, which will produce contradictions in the process of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law exchanges, as the saying goes: "distance produces beauty" is still very reasonable.
I also have to work after I get married. Many female friends are particularly sweet in love, so they don't want to work and enjoy life at home after marriage, female friends don't know that if you want to have a status in your in-law's family, you have to have economic strength, and if you have the ability, others will look up to you and will not bully you, when you have a job of your own, not only can you keep a distance from your mother-in-law, but indirectly make him unable to pick your thorns, because you are at work and he is at home, she has no chance even if she wants to find you.
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I think the best way is to get a divorce as soon as possible, after all, there is still a long time to come, and there is no need to grieve yourself.
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You can discuss it with your husband, you can move out and live in a two-person world with your husband, so that you can reduce a lot of unnecessary troubles.
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First of all, I understand your experience, but I don't agree with your thoughts, we can't just see the shortcomings of others, we must slowly discover her advantages, she must have advantages, be patient, she won't teach her something, she may also be afraid of being snubbed before there will be some actions that anger you, no matter how wrong your parents are, they are also parents, some people say that they rely on the old and sell the old, but I think we are still children who don't care enough about them, we should be more careful and tolerant as children, Sometimes we can be tolerant of outsiders, why can't we be kind to our parents, family and everything.
I hope you can adjust your mindset and wish you all happiness!
Actually, girl, you have a very kind heart—don't you know? Gives you an analysis analysis:
1. You have never blushed with your mother-in-law, which is enough to show that you can deal with problems very rationally. I have endured a lot for my husband and for this family;
2. Hiding in your own room is not a good way to avoid and weaken the contradictions, you did it right! Sometimes contradictions exist, but they don't necessarily have to be resolved, or they are impossible to solve at all, so it's better to leave them there and leave them alone, which is a hundred times better than exposing the contradictions and intensifying them, right?
3. Hiding in your own little world is not cold and violent.
Give yourself a leeway when you're unhappy, there's nothing wrong with that. Why do you have to face unpleasantness? Why are you wronged too much?
4. Be able to examine your words and deeds when you calm down, which only mature people can do, congratulations; (Too many people can't do this, and if they think that they are justified, it will be difficult to progress!) )
5. Have a burning conscience and want to change this state and increase family affection? It will take a lot of effort on your part (don't expect the old lady to change, don't mention it, don't mention a word, that's impossible!). — change yourself!
Actually, you've been working on this effort, but it's never had the desired effect, right? So, don't do it. Under the same roof.
As long as we can live in peace. It's easy to be polite to each other for a long time, you know?
6. If you have the ability to control your emotions and grasp the situation, such as your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Communication, husband and wife communication, you might as well give it a try. But judging from the old husband's life experience, even if he is as close as a husband and wife and children, it is too difficult and difficult to communicate with each other! What's more, it is the most sensitive mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the world?
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I just got married and hated my mother-in-law, so if you can't do this, you have to get along well, otherwise it will be very uncomfortable for the man to be caught in the middle. There will also be problems in your married life, if your mother-in-law doesn't do anything, you can't do this, if your mother-in-law points fingers between you, you choose to accept it for your good, and the other filters are fine, there is no need to be so annoying.
That's really the case, and that's annoying. Your husband is also too partial to his parents. This matter has to be coordinated by your husband, otherwise the family will have a broken face, I am very happy to have my own house, enlighten and enlighten your husband, after all, the most important members of the family are the wife, husband and children. >>>More
I'm very lucky, my first love is married, hey, the current society, I can only express sympathy, and helplessness, I also hate this kind of society, I don't know how to comfort you... Divide my luck with you a little bit, and hopefully you'll want to drive a little bit or find another one that you think is perfect.
Give her some time.
It's good for everyone. >>>More
How should the daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law get along in order to make the relationship in this family more harmonious, which is a question that has always plagued everyone. However, now people's minds are more open-minded, most of the current mothers-in-law are relatively young, and now there are fewer children in the family, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in most families is much more harmonious than before, is no longer the same mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as before. >>>More
The grandchildren's tuition does not have to be paid by the parents-in-law, should be paid by their parents, the economic conditions of the two of you are better than the economic conditions of his parents, you can also pay some tuition for your grandchildren, after all, it is your own grandchildren, do your best to be grandparents, as long as my grandson says to pay the tuition, I will give it to him immediately, so that the grandson is also happy, the grandson's parents are also happy, as long as you have the conditions, you can give them some money, if your economic conditions do not allow, you can give them clearly, They won't blame you, home and everything!