Seek a humorous joke, or something OK hehe, as long as it s funny

I'll tell you a story, the beginning is terrifying, the middle street is funny, and the ending is tragic, there is a ghost who let out a fart and he dies.

My dear, tonight we look at the stars and count the moons together.

The squirrel said: Seriously, can you give me the pine cone on your head?

The Buddha said, "You are naughty again."

A reporter came to Penguin Village and saw Penguin A and asked him, what do you usually do? Penguin A said: Eat, sleep, fight!

When I met Penguin B, I asked you what you usually do? B said: Eat, sleep, and fight.

Then I met C who also asked the same question, and I also said: eat, sleep, and play. Finally, when I met D, I asked you what you usually do in Penguin Village?

D said, "Eat and sleep." The reporter thought it was strange and said

They are all eating, sleeping, and beating Dongdong, why are you the only one who just eats and sleeps, and they all beat me when they say I'm the one.

Man can never lick his elbow.

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loved her more than anyone else in the world, but one day, his girlfriend left him ruthlessly, and didn't even give him a reason. Finally, one day he killed his girlfriend, and he planned to kill herself after killing her.

But when he was about to die, he felt the preciousness of life.

Since then, he has been plagued by nightmares every day, in which his girlfriend has a disheveled hair, a red tongue hanging down to the ground, and ten fingers like hooks to ask for his life. The nightmare tormented him like a bone, and one day he found a Taoist priest who wanted to get rid of it. The Taoist priest asked him to do three things.

First, bury his girlfriend's body properly.

Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend was wearing before she died.

Third, wash the bloody clothes that have been hidden.

Everything must be done before the third watch, or there will be a fatal disaster!

He followed the instructions of the Taoist priest and did everything very carefully, but the bloody clothes could not be found. It's about to be the third watch, the beads of sweat dripping down his face and wetting the carpet, and when he is about to go to the third watch, he finds the bloody clothes, but no matter how he rubs it, he can't wash it off.

At this time, suddenly the wind was fierce, and lightning and thunder roared. The windows swayed from side to side as the wind slammed, and the sound of glass shattering made people's hearts beat even more, and suddenly all the lights went out, and the whole room was dark. In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing blood-stained pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, and pointed at him with a hideous face and said sharply

Do you know why you can't wash off the bloodstains? He was so stunned that he couldn't say a word, and his girlfriend continued: "Because you didn't use carved laundry detergent, stupid." ”

Xiao Ming's mother took Xiao Ming to be a guest, and the host gave Xiao Ming a piece of German chocolate, and Xiao Ming immediately said to the host: "My mother said, Auntie, you are too stingy to have more than 10 chocolates at home, but you gave me a piece, I am angry, don't!" ”

His mother passed out directly.

A Chinese teacher with a strong dialect read the ancient poem "Wo Chun" to the students, and the Chinese teacher read it aloud as follows;

Wo Chun. The dark plum smells the flowers, and the lying branches are sad and hateful. Hearing who lies in the distance, it is easy to penetrate the spring green.

The shore is green, the shore is green, and the shore is like.

Translucent green. The teacher asked the students to dictate it, and one student wrote;

I have no culture, I have a very low IQ, and if you want to ask me who I am, a big stupid donkey.

I'm a donkey, I'm a donkey, I'm a stupid donkey.

The fart was too loud to hear.

When a young man and a woman were dating in the park, the girl wanted to fart in particular, so she thought of a solution: Woman: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call?

M: I haven't heard of it. Female:

I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) valley (sound from the mouth). After learning a few times, the time to put it has been played. Female:

Do you hear me? M: The fart was too loud to hear.

The father walked into his son's room and complimented, "Well done, son!" The windows are clean and bright, did you wipe them with soapy water? The son proudly replied, "No, Dad, I use a hammer!" ”

A couple goes to a mall and the girl is fat. A salesman stepped up to them and told the girl, "You're so slim, we've got this product for you." ”

The girl was overjoyed, and she felt that it was very hard to do sales, so she asked her boyfriend to buy one.

The boyfriend said: "Although she is hard, she loves to lie and does not deserve sympathy." ”

Who do you want to kill tell me and I'll call 110 for you

It was so hot that the table was so hot that it burned a mosquito to death!

At the reception, a woman asked the man next to her, "Who is that ugly monster on the other side?" ”

The woman said, "I'm sorry, you look so alike, why didn't I see it?" ”

A buddy is constipated, one day in the public toilet for a long time without moving, then I heard a person outside hurriedly run to the next door, slammed the door shut, and then heard a crackling sound, this guy said enviously:"You're so happy, I can't get off after squatting for a long time! "

The next door was silent for a long time, and scolded:"It hurts you, I haven't taken off my pants yet! "

A lame man applied for a job in a company, and the company manager asked him, what are your specialties, and the lame man took a step forward with his left leg and said confidently; I have a long left leg.

The reporter interviewed an old woman! The reporter asked: "What do you think about the random setting off of firecrackers in the city?" Grandmother: "What else can I see?" It's just climbing the window to see ......”

There is a buddy who works in a bank, just worked, teller. One day, I complained about it, and said: **, I met an old lady today, and I had to complain about me, saying that I was ugly, and she forgot the password. . .

There is no more naughty child than my nephew! During the Spring Festival, he hid a small firecracker in one of my cigarettes, and I handed it to a relative who came to pay New Year's greetings and lit a ...... for him

A student went to the doctor, and after the doctor examined him, he said, "It's okay, just get one injection." ”

The doctor rubbed a cotton wool on the student's arm, repeating this three or four times.

Thinking that he was seriously ill, the student worriedly asked, "Doctor, is the problem serious?" ”

The doctor said seriously, "Classmate, it's time for you to take a shower." ”

There was a guy who asked Xiao Cai to walk, and he was picked up by someone while walking, and it was quite cold.

There is an advertisement from a dairy company: as long as you keep drinking our company's milk for 1,200 months, you are guaranteed to live to be 100 years old.

A buddy came back and said in the dormitory: "Hey, I heard that the teacher of the English level 6 test paper was kidnapped, and the kidnappers wanted 1000w, otherwise they would burn him in the square, everyone donate, let's donate some too" The roommate said: "Okay, how much do they donate?"

I don't know, some donate 10 liters, some donate two liters, let's donate according to our own situation. ”

I'm easy to satisfy, it's not too difficult), it must be funny, don't slip of the tongue, and don't be very outdated A lame man applied for a job in a company, the company manager asked him, what are your specialties, the lame man took a step forward with his left leg,

Once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died. (Counterfeiting must be investigated).

The joke is funny, haha.

Once upon a time there was a man who didn't play with me, and then he died.

Cosmetics companies came to Bao Zheng. "Our new foundation is delicate and natural, please be sure to be the spokesperson. Bao Zheng was surprised and delighted:

Is this really suitable? "Suitable. Especially advertising words, there is no one more suitable to say than you.

What word? "Can you tell I'm powdered?" ”