Why do you always feel like you re not doing perfectly?

That's because I'm not confident in myself, if I'm not confident in myself, then anything I do will have uncertain factors about it, it's hard to feel perfect, and I must make myself confident.

Afterwards, when I do things, I am always very dissatisfied, I always feel that I have not done a good job, and I have not achieved the kind of perfection that I have pursued in my heart, because after you have done it, you find that he still has room to rise, so you feel that you are not good enough.

Maybe because you will have an inferiority complex, in your own heart you are imperfect and flawed, just like when we were children when we did homework, every time we would copy other people's homework, thinking that other people's homework was right.

When I am not perfect, it is when I do things wrong, or I do things well, but I don't do better, I want to pursue perfection, but I don't do it so well, so I feel that I am not perfect enough.

If you don't do well in the exam, you will feel that you are not perfect enough, and you will do the wrong things that should not be wrong, and only later will you find out the reason, and you will feel that you are very careless and do not do well what you should do well.

I'm a perfectionist, I want to do everything well, sometimes it's hard to be able to achieve what I want, maybe it's too demanding of myself, and sometimes it's not a good thing.

The reason why you are not satisfied is that you see that what you have done is too far from the ideal state, and you always feel that I still have a lot of deficiencies and imperfections after doing something, but it has passed, and it feels imperfect.

When I do something, I want it to be as small as possible, and I want to be the best it can be, so sometimes I always feel like I'm not doing it perfectly.

Because I'm a picky person and I'm always trying to make myself better, I always feel like I'm not good enough to do things, not good enough, and I can work harder.

Because in fact, in the real sense, what is done is imperfect, why should we say that imperfection is perfect, maybe some people say that it is imperfect, because they have a more modest attitude.

It's normal to be imperfect, and it's commendable to know that you're not perfect.

Pro, <

Hello, I am glad to answer for you: there is no real perfection in the world, this is basically the consensus of our ideology, and it is also the tacit understanding we have reached with the heavens, the earth, and all things. Understood in essence, imperfection is due to the fact that there are no perfect standards, stops, and references at all.

In a sense, perfection is nothing, and when it is perfect, it is over. Especially for people themselves, it is easier to understand that "no one is perfect". Handsome, pretty, charismatic, and noble, it is impossible to say how perfect they are.

If such a perfect person exists, then he is certainly not a human being. Even if someone achieves the ideal perfection at a certain moment, then that moment must be the moment when he has drunk too much. Life is short, and there are many hard days, and most people will sigh inadvertently:

It's really tiring, it's really hard, it's not easy. In fact, an important reason for the real hardship and tiredness lies in our heavens*, our hearts, an innate infinite desire for perfection, the pursuit of perfection, and an indelible sense of grasping and comparing. The development of society, the change of the environment and the limited resources prompt us to obtain the most, to do the biggest, to become the strongest, to seek the best, and the combination of many, big, strong and good is actually the perfection in the heart, so perfect when we are trapped, it becomes so heavy.

Is it because you have done something wrong that you feel like you can't make up for it? That shouldn't be.

In fact, if you do something wrong, you will think that you have done something wrong, and you will think that it is your own fault, and you will think that if you do something wrong, you must change it, and whether you do something wrong or not, you will think that it is your own fault, and you will feel that you should be held responsible.

I very much agree with that, but if a person does something wrong and then does not repent, but feels that he has done nothing wrong, or even thinks that he has not done anything wrong, then it is not called recognizing his mistake.

This kind of knowledge is called blindness, it is also called self-deception, and this kind of knowledge is called blind self-absorption.

This kind of cognition is blind self-absorption, and such blind intoxication will also make people fall into a state of self-paralysis and numbness, such a state is often the easiest to be used by others, such as the result of being bewitched by others, for example, if others ask you to die, you will not hesitate to die.

It's like the story I just told, the story I told is that there is a person who hates a person very much, and then he will go to this person for trouble, and he will always find some reason, and then impose his own reason on others, and then he will find reasons in others, and this behavior will not stop for a long time, until the matter is discovered.

There is only one reason why this matter was discovered, and that is the conflict between the two of them.

Some people say that when there is a conflict, two people will turn against each other because of it, and then fight each other, but what I want to tell him is, if that is really the case, will you still do this?

The answer is definitely no, you will definitely choose to give up, because you have seen the results, you can no longer get the slightest benefit from that person, and you may also put yourself in it. Such an ending is not just once, it is more likely to be a dozen or twenty times, or even more times, what would you do if you did encounter such a situation?

Is this ridiculous? Do it yourself.

I can't guarantee such a question, but I am sure that you will not be satisfied with such an answer. So you can choose another path.

What kind of path you want to do, or what kind of path you want to do, that is your power, but your choice will definitely not be the choice we imagined.

What are the main feelings of anxiety in you?

I get anxious when I find out I can't do it; When I find that the gap between reality and ideals is too great, I get anxious; When I feel that something bad is about to happen, I get anxious.

1. Don't allow yourself to make mistakes.

There are many anxious people, their lives are not miserable, but they always demand too much of themselves, pursue perfection in everything, and do not allow themselves to make a little mistake, but they are always slapped in the face by reality. Because there are too many uncontrollable factors in real life, it is a false proposition to want everything to go well.

For example, tomorrow's speech is very important, it is a good opportunity for me to show the results of my work, I must let the leaders see my efforts, I want to be very comfortable on the podium, I can't be a little nervous. Then, the person who thinks so loses sleep until late at night, and when he speaks during the day, he is completely in no state.

Psychological research has found that a person who always wants to make the best choices is more pessimistic, has lower life satisfaction, is more likely to experience happiness, and is more prone to depression and self-blame than a person who is easily satisfied.

Mistakes are something we can't avoid, and if you're always worried that you're going to make mistakes, it's easy to get anxious. Research shows that if you can look at mistakes in a growth mindset way, allow yourself to make mistakes, and accept the growth that mistakes bring you, you will be more relaxed and more importantly, you can perform better.

2. Lack of a sense of control.

You will find that there are always some people in life who often make demands or set certain goals for the people around them, and once the other party does not meet their requirements, they will feel very anxious and irritable. For example, when arguing, you must fight with the other party to win or lose, and if the other party is contrary to the idea of self-defeat, he will try all kinds of ways to persuade others.

The essence of this is that they lack a sense of control over their lives, and they can only use this way to increase their control over their lives and prove that they are worthy.

If a person loses his sense of control, he becomes insecure and becomes anxious and depressed. Even, he will form a negative self-evaluation of himself, he will feel that things are not within his control, he will become very helpless, and he will have the idea that he is useless in doing anything.

However, if a person is excessively seeking a sense of control, he will magnify the negative impact of loss of control on himself, and he may act impulsively out of excessive worry.

So when you're worried and scared, you can think about what are the balances that I can control? What time and effort do I put into something I can't control?

3. Lack of internal resources.

Inner resources refer to our ability to maintain full self-awareness, awareness and acceptance of current emotions, and give full play to our inner strength in the face of pain and stress. A person with abundant internal resources will still choose to believe that he has the ability to achieve his goals in the face of uncertainty; He can accept the worst and make changes and compensate for the outcome; He can accept his imperfections, he can move on with problems, and he will not fall too far into negative emotions; He can discover and play to his strengths and can look at it with a developmental eye.

I once saw a sentence in a book that "imperfection is life", and I am still deeply impressed, savored it, and felt the same way. At the beginning of life, everyone wants to be fulfilled: whether it is studying, working, getting married, etc., we all imagine a happy ending, but although most of us may experience this kind of life, we have reached satisfaction.

However, there will inevitably be a huge disparity from the original setting, and there will be things that do not go as expected. Whether it is a prince or a pawn, everyone's life will have regrets and will not be fulfilling. Perfection always exists only in our imagination, it is our desire, but it cannot be realized.

We can say that the script of life cannot be perfect, but it can be complete. When you feel regrets, you will experience the five flavors of life, you will have a complete life--- you will appreciate a perfect life from regrets. Life is incomplete, we can recognize this, we will not be harsh on ourselves, nor on others, only a life that knows how to accept, will know how to cherish more.

Each of our lives has been marked by God, although you don't want this gap, but this gap follows you like a shadow. Life is like an incomplete circle, no one's life is complete, perhaps it is precisely because of the realization that every life is lacking, so our life will be more beautiful.

Everyone will experience many unsatisfactory things in the journey of life. Accidental failure and fate are originally tragic, but because of the guidance of the hand of fate, the ending will be more satisfying. If you understand the relativity of perfection, the twists and turns of life and the changes of love, you will be able to be calm and calm.

Everyone is striving for a perfect life. However, in ancient and modern times, there is no 100% perfect life, in fact, imperfection is life. As the Western proverb goes, "If you want to be happy forever, you can only find it in pain."

If you want to be perfect, you can only look for flaws. Therefore, we don't have to take the gains and losses, honor and disgrace to our hearts, we will cherish the happy time when we have pain, and the life that is not perfect can be called perfect.

I once saw a lyric: Everything has a crack, that's where the light comes in.

Because you are not perfect, so will the people you love, and only in this way can you complement each other and have no regrets, a perfect union.

Long-lasting love is in your heart, just as many people often ask if there is true love in this world, in fact, true love is in your heart, as long as you sincerely pay, persistent pursuit, brave sacrifice, true love will happen in you, and eternal love is your love. We know that love is a kind of selfless giving and sacrifice, and the reward of love is the eternal happiness of the other person.

And happiness, if you love each other, then you will be happy because the other person is happy, and you will be happy because the other person is happy. Whether it is in love before marriage or in the ordinary life after marriage, as long as you really love each other, as long as you work hard for your happy life, then eternal love is by your side, not that you have eternal love, but that you have created eternal love.

Believe in yourself As long as there is love, happiness will definitely exist

I think it's mainly because you have typical perfectionism and a slight obsessive-compulsive psychological tendency. People with this psychological tendency have several common characteristics: they are strict with themselves, they are the same with others, and they want perfection in everything; I always like to do things by myself, even if it is a leader, I am always at ease when I hand it over to my subordinates, for fear that others will not do it well; Worries and uneasiness about the plans or decisions they have repeatedly pondered; Obsessive-compulsive disorder may occasionally occur in daily life.

Generally speaking, people who have developed perfectionist tendencies have lived or worked in a stressful environment for a long time, and the strict requirements of parents or superiors are like a big net, making people breathe nervously and have to repeatedly check what they are doing to avoid being reprimanded. I have experienced this myself. Because my parents were very strict in discipline since I was a child, I was not allowed to make even a punctuation mark wrong when I was studying.

Even because she was worried that I would be playful, my mother set a route for me to go home, and if I found that I didn't follow the rules, I would be punished. Therefore, in order to avoid punishment, I have to think about doing things several times before I start doing them, and I always feel worried that I will not do a good job. My childhood experiences still affect me to this day, and I also have a tendency to perfectionism at work, and I have to be completely pleasing to the eye in order to get over myself.

What's even funnier is that this tendency also radiates to my own child, and every time she does her homework, if there is something wrong, I have to take out the eraser and erase it and start over. This is a very distressing matter, please face up to the problem and hurry up to solve it.

In addition, it is precisely because the perfectionist person has too high requirements for the effect of getting things done, and it is difficult to trust others to do it well, so he himself is quite hard and tired. A colleague who has to reprocess something he hands over to someone else says, "It's better to do it yourself from the beginning."

It can be seen that there are many people who have this problem, but the degree is different. Sometimes, there are too many worries in the mind, and the obsessive-compulsive disorder of memory fights also comes out to make trouble, either forgetting that the door lock is not locked, or forgetting that the window is not closed.