What are some of the funniest jokes you ve come across in your life that you think are the funniest

After graduating, my sister was assigned to our city train station to do a security check, I was about to start school, and I was going to the train station to take the train to school, but I didn't expect that my sister was in charge of the inspection.

My sister found the cigarette case in my pocket, and my sister said, "What is this square thing?" Take it out and take a look. "(My family didn't know I smoked).

I said, "It's a cigarette case." ”

My sister slapped me in the face, it hurt a lot, and the people in the queue behind me were boiling, scrambling to throw away their cigarettes.

When I was a child, my dad kept a stack of one-dollar coins on the cabinet and never used them. When neighbors visit the door, he will brag that he manages it well, and I will not take the money as long as he wants. My neighbors know I'm honest.

One day, his neighbor took the stack of coins for 8 yuan and returned it. Later, I heard my neighbor complain to others: "His son is very honest, he actually used game coins to pretend to be coins to return me, the top is still a one-yuan coin, and the bottom is a game currency...

The little couple quarreled over a trivial matter. After the quarrel, the husband felt regretful, so he asked his wife to pull a cart with two horses outside, and he said, "Why can't we move forward in unison like those two horses?"

The wife said angrily, "We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey!" ”

Five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, and he gave a hundred yuan bill: "Hey! Your son is here, and if you don't want us to tear up the ticket, you will exchange yourself for him! The hundred-dollar bill thought for a while and said, "Tear it, you don't even have 5 yuan after tearing it!" ”

Yes, I have a friend who is often dumped by other men, and later he told me that if I see Yue Lao, I must ask him not to pull the red rope, and to move the wire rope so as not to break it.

That year, he was admitted to high school, and his father sold the pig. That year he was admitted to college, and his father sold the cow. That year, he fell in love, and his father went to sell blood many times.

That year, he graduated, and his mother-in-law said: buy a house to get married or break up. That year, his father fell while walking and was taken to the hospital by a good Samaritan ......Then, he got rich and married.

When I was cooking, I accidentally cut a small piece of meat on my hand, and when I went to the hospital to bandage it, I asked the doctor what the small piece of meat could be used for. The doctor thought about it carefully and said, "If it's not too little, you can buy some chili peppers and stir-fry them."

Once when we were going out to play in the dormitory, we saw a "luxury earthen kang" when we looked at the guide, she saw it as a "luxury earthen pit", and asked us how to live in the pit.

We often call our male colleagues in their 30s prodigies, which is hilarious to think about.

Bald donkey, Hugh and poor road rob the teacher! Is it?

Of course it's poured out," said the waiter.

no！no！no！The American shook his head and said, "In our United States, the leftover shrimp shells are sent to the factory, made into shrimp cakes, and then sold to you in China." ”

After a while, the waiter brought another plate of fruit, and the American pointed to one of the lemons and asked, "What do you do with the leftover lemon peel?" Of course it's poured out," said the waiter.

no！no！no！”

The Americans shook their heads and said, "In our United States, leftover lemon peels are sent to factories to make them into treasures, and then sold to you in China." ”

At the checkout, the American asked the waiter with a smile as he chewed gum, "What do you do with the leftover gum?" "Spit it out, of course," the waiter said.

no！no！no！”

The American shook his head and said proudly, "In our United States, the chewed gum is sent to the Gonghe Sun Hood Factory to make a set of sets, and then sold to you in China." ”

The waiter asked impatiently, "Then do you know how to deal with used condoms in our China?" ”

Throw it away, of course," the Americans said.

The waiter shook his head and said, "No, we'll make the used condoms into chewing gum and sell them to you American." ”

One day, when the ant and the rabbit were walking on the road, the ant suddenly hid and the rabbit asked, "What are you doing?" The ant pointed to the oncoming elephant and said, "Do you see any fat man over there?" I've always looked at him unpleasantly, and today, I'm going to trip him with my foot. ”

The next day, the rabbit saw a swarm of ants walking towards the hospital and asked, "Where are you going?" "Yesterday's ant came out and said:

Remember the elephant last time? It was the one I tripped up, he broke a bone, and he was bleeding profusely, after all, I tripped over him, so I called my brothers to donate blood to him. After a while, the ants came out again, and the rabbit asked

Didn't you go to donate blood, why did you come out again? The ant said, "There was only one ant that matched the elephant's blood type, so we came out and left the one inside to donate blood." ”

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, does the river flow to **?

One of the students stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward."

The teacher ignored him, and then said, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The classmate sang again: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou.

The teacher was angry: You get out of here!

Student: Let's go.

The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick?

Student: You have me, I have it all!

Teacher: Try one more thing.

Student: When the road is uneven, I roar!

Teacher: Do you believe that I beat you up?

Student: Shoot when it's time to strike.

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school!

Student: Storm in Kyushu!