The harder I try, the more anxious I become, what should I do? Why do you get more anxious the harde

It's easy to get anxious when you don't get a timely return for your efforts.

A lot of times it's faster to take it slowly.

1. The process is more important than the result.

Usually we have anxiety because we don't get good results after working hard, so we are anxious about it, but what the result is, in fact, it doesn't matter. What matters is the process of our efforts, which is the important thing to improve our experience.

If the result is good, then the process is wonderful; If the result is bad, then the process is a perfect experience. When we encounter a bad outcome, instead of being anxious, it is better to organize the process and review it and plan for the next success.

2. Delayed gratification.

Deferred gratification refers to the forgoing of instant gratification for the sake of more valuable long-term outcomes, and the ability to exercise self-control in equivalence. The vast majority of us are anxious because we care too much about instant gratification, but in this world, there is never an easy success, so even satisfaction is hard to come by. And our failure is not a permanent failure, and the failure of the present may bring you success in the future.

3. Decompose the target.

It's hard not to be anxious when we're faced with a big end goal, but it's hard not to be anxious when we're faced with small goals that can be accomplished with just a wave of our hand, because it's easy to accomplish them.

Listening, from the fear of the heart.

Canadian writer Rob Traveler Sawyer once wrote, "Learn to listen to your fears." Only then will you survive. ”

Mr. Fan Deng, the founder of Fan Deng Reading, also said: "Behind anxiety is fear. "Anxiety is a process of embodiment of fear, ** in the imagination of fear, and it is precisely because we are always in the imagination of fear that we cannot escape that we will fall into constant anxiety.

We often have a "voice of anxiety" in our hearts when we decide to do something carefully

You actually want to do it, you don't think you can succeed, do you? ”

Don't think about it, who do you think you are, you look at so many people around you who are better than you, they haven't done this, is it because they can't think of it? Shou respect".

It's ridiculous, stop it, if you fail, you'll be laughed at for the rest of your life. ”

This voice stems from our fear of failure, and we would rather stay the same than try to fail.

The voice of anxiety is like a floodgate in our brains, preventing us from doing things that are out of our comfort zone or risky, making our lives less exciting and meaningful.

But not all anxiety is destructive. The book "Hello Anxiety" says: "The voice of anxiety can be expressed in two ways: . .

Harmful anxiety and beneficial anxiety. Beneficial anxiety is a vision that allows you to encounter setbacks and challenges, make plans, and take action. Harmful anxiety is the culprit behind our inability to reach our potential and accomplish our tasks.

If we don't listen carefully to our inner voice and don't distinguish between right and wrong in our anxieties, we will always be surrounded by fear and self-doubt and will not be able to achieve what we truly desire.

When a person is working very hard and putting in the energy both at work and study, but always feels more and more anxious, there may be the following reasons:

1.Expectations and standards for oneself are too high to bear, which leads to increased psychological stress.

2.Taking everything too seriously, not taking full advantage of rest and relaxation to restore one's physical strength and energy, etc.

3.The task could not be completed, and I was physically and psychologically stressed.

4.There are undesirable lifestyle habits such as overeating, smoking, and drinking.

For the above reasons, you can try the following methods to relieve anxiety:

1.Set realistic and reasonable goals and expectations for yourself, complete tasks in a pleasant state of mind, and set certain time for rest and relaxation.

2.Learn to relax early in the morning, such as meditation, breathing exercises, massage, etc., to relieve stress and tension.

3.Get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, eat plenty of vegetables and fruits, and exercise regularly.

4.Keep enriching your life and hobbies, and do what you are interested in to boost your mood.

It is important to note that everyone's temperament and condition are different, so find a way to relieve anxiety according to your actual situation.

1. Sharpening knives does not mistake woodcutters, and you need to think carefully in advance. When things are more complicated, the decision in the short term is likely to be wrong, and at this time, it is necessary to learn from and analyze to obtain more useful information, and after precipitation, the decision is relatively rational. This requires focusing on the panorama rather than the details.

I don't know the true face of Lushan, just because I am in this mountain, the people on the mountainside do not know the appearance of the mountain, and I don't know the height of the mountains.

2. Learn to leverage leverage, now is not the era of individualism. Nowadays, there are many talents, and the strength of individuals is always limited, only to find their own position in the crowd, and constantly amplify their advantages and strength by taking advantage of the situation. At this time, it is a manager who allows other people to do their own things in an orderly manner, and finally provides services to you.

3. Summarize and reflect regularly. Without reflecting on the gains and losses, and not turning the gains and losses into literal data, it is easy for us to forget, the brain also likes to deceive itself, and most importantly, it is difficult to find the real reason for the gains and losses. Do everything according to this process:

Plan, execute, reflect. Especially for important and complex projects, it is necessary to repeat them many times and implement them resolutely.

4. Must be energetic. This kind of energy is not only physical strength, but also mental state and mental strength, I don't know if there has been a time when the energy is particularly good, when the brain is extremely clear, feeling refreshed and full of inexhaustible strength, no matter what you do in this state, the efficiency is greatly increased.

If you want to achieve this kind of energy, adequate sleep is the first step, followed by a reasonable combination of exercise and diet, but the more important part of this is feedback, which is the main aspect of keeping yourself confident and continuing to exert force, so that you can see your achievements and results in real time, which is more exciting than anything else.

5. Reduce external influences. Make a daily list of unnecessary or frequent external influences, and don't distract yourself often. You must know that every time you are distracted, after your previous study or work state is interrupted, not only will you "break up", but it will take at least 15 minutes to enter a good state again, which is too time-consuming.

When you encounter more and more anxiety as you work harder, it means that you should revise the direction of your efforts, sell it, calm down, and think carefully before working hard.

Hard work is a beautiful character, but many people do not find that their own efforts, hard work, hard work, hard work, and hard work to maintain relationships, the "effort" here has changed its taste, but it is actually a forced reaction. I'm not talking about obsessive-compulsive disorder, but about this effort, a kind of compulsion to do so.

Even if you feel that you have goals and motivation, such as a college entrance examination student, in order to be admitted to university, you force yourself to study for 15 hours a day. Less than 15 hours, no breaks. Try hard enough. How much of the 15 hours is efficient?

Working hard is sometimes just an attitude that you set for yourself. Studying hard doesn't mean that you really focus on learning. You think that as long as you study long enough, there will always be something to gain.

So you force yourself to study for 15 hours. I call this kind of behavior not hard work, but coercion, and self-deception.

When a person is powerless and unable to give up on the things he cares about, it is easy to "force". Students who are going to take the college entrance examination cannot focus on their studies, and giving up the college entrance examination will make them collapse again. In the end, I can only keep telling myself that you have to work hard and force yourself to spend more time reading.

But the whole learning process has gained very little. In the end, a conflicting experience is formed, anxiety is not learned, anxiety is not learned, frustration, self-doubt, and even collapse.

This kind of effort is actually a kind of internal friction. This effort is a manifestation of inner anxiety and yields little to gain.

A woman who is trying to maintain an intimate relationship is obviously in a very bad relationship with her partner, because she can't give up the relationship, she can only continue to reflect on herself and grow herself, hoping to save the marriage in the end. In the name of beauty, strive to grow yourself. Every time I quarrel with my partner, I fall into the denial of self-growth.

Doubts about themselves.

Anxiety prompts a person to do a lot of things, and it is a manifestation of a person's vitality. But at the same time, people often do a lot of inefficient, meaningless, and even unrewarding things because of anxiety, which is what we usually say "do for the sake of doing, do it for the sake of relieving anxiety". But when people are in the middle of it, they often don't realize it, but instead regard their efforts as a hopeful thing, even if they are constantly consumed.

So when you try harder and more anxious, you need to be wary that your current behavior is not "striving", but being governed by anxiety. You are being consumed by the so-called "effort", so that your anxiety will not be relieved by your "effort". You need to pause, re-examine your own heart, and re-understand the deeper meaning behind your anxiety.

The harder you work and the more skilled you are, the more confident you will be, and without self-confidence, you will naturally be anxious. Do a good job of proper relaxation and mental regulation.

The more you try, the more anxious you are:

1) It may be because you have set too high expectations and pressure on yourself, causing you to focus too much on the outcome and feel disappointed and anxious once you fail to reach your goal.

2) Lack of proper rest and relaxation may also lead to increased feelings of anxiety.

3) The way of working is not correct enough. Sometimes, we can get too focused on our goals and ignore potential risks or obstacles.

Anxiety is not scary, it is a self-protection mechanism that makes us feel threatened and dangerous to remind us to take action to solve the problem.

How to make yourself anxious?

1) It is recommended that you set reasonable goals and not overdo the pursuit of perfection.

2) Pay more attention to the growth and experience in the process, but also pay attention to rest and relaxation, and give yourself time to relieve stress.

3) Re-examine the way you work and take a more balanced and incremental approach.