What are the 30 jokes that laugh off the big teeth?

1. "Big Project".

Seven years after graduation, he finally took on a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, the construction period was two months, and the cost was 300,000 yuan, but it was necessary to advance. It was finally done at the end of last year. Today, when people go to acceptance, they are scolded to death, and they don't have any money to get it!

The drawings are reversed, and they are going to dig a well!

2, "Fracture".

The doctor asks the patient how the fracture occurred. The patient said that I felt that there was sand in my shoes, so I held on to the telephone pole and shook my shoes. One of them passed by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

3, "Casual Fate".

A colleague asked: You're not young anymore, why aren't you looking for a girlfriend?

I said, "Let it be!"

My colleague said: You deserve to be single, and the monks in the temple all say so!

4, "Double Eleven".

Wife: People's husband's Double 11 directly bought out her shopping cart, you look at you again.

Husband: Haha, I've actually been ready for a long time.

Wife: Do you want to surprise me? Tell me, what's in store for me?

Husband: I didn't buy anything, I'm ready to be scolded by you.

I missed the bus at work, so I ran after the bus, and a man on an electric car shouted next to the bus: "Come on!" A warm current suddenly surged in my heart, and I just wanted to sigh at the beauty of this world, but the man continued to shout: "Come on, master, don't let this guy catch up!"

1. God is fair, and while giving happiness to others, he must also make you blind, for fear that you will feel uncomfortable when you see it.

Second, many people have symptoms of nausea and retching when they brush their teeth in the morning, and scientific research has found that the common characteristic of this group of people is that they like to look in the mirror.

3. Holding a hot charging mobile phone to play a game, putting life and death aside, this is a rare heroic moment in my life.

Fourth, when your life is not going well, don't panic. Just look at your wallet and deposits, and just cry out.

5. One day I went to my mother's room to play, and I stumbled upon a birth diary about me, and I opened it to see that there were eight words written on it: "Extremely ugly, unacceptable".

6. On the way home, I also saw a lot of takeaway guys running around delivering food, and suddenly felt very inspired, others are still delivering food so late, what reason do I have not to eat?

7. How fragile is my relationship with my boyfriend? As long as I take off my makeup, maybe he will never want to see me again in his life.

8. Why do marriage proposals get down on one knee? God replied: Kneeling on the ground is going to the grave.

Nine, I went from having nothing, to having assets of over 100 million, from the four walls of my family, to the luxury car and villa, these are not relying on others, but completely on my own, bit by bit, to come up with.

10. If you can only choose one person and food you like, how can foodies choose? Foodie: Eat the person you like.

Ten. 1. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of technology, although I am not capable, but I am superior in technology.

Ten. Second, every time someone asks me for the way, I point out blindly, firstly, because I don't know the way at all, and secondly, to teach the world a lesson: don't just trust good-looking people.

1. Don't believe in love at first sight, because you can't tell at a glance how much money the other person makes.

2. We seem to have entered a place where we can only take out money.

A time when tolerance proves love.

3. You are the master of the words before the words are spoken, and you become a slave of the words after they are spoken.

4. A high job is not as good as a high salary, a high salary is not as good as a high life, and a high life is not as good as a happy life.

5. Stealing one person's idea is plagiarism, and stealing many people's ideas is research.

6. Sometimes explanations are unnecessary - enemies don't believe your explanations, friends don't need your explanations.

7. People always want to let the ghosts and gods know when they do some good things, and they always think that the ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things, and we are too embarrassed by the ghosts.

8. Advertising is to tell others that his money can still be spent like this.

9. The attitude towards intellectuals indicates the degree of civilization of a nation; The attitude towards the workers and peasants is to examine the conscience of this nation.

10, ask how sad you can be, just like a eunuch going to the Qinglou!

11. Brother, I'll throw a brick first, and if there is jade, just smash it.

It is said that Cao Cao and Liu Bei cooked wine and talked about heroes. Outside, there were dark clouds, lightning and thunder, wind and rain. The two drank a few glasses, and Liu Bei suddenly let out a fart, very embarrassed.

Liu Bei was embarrassed, only to hear Guan Yu behind him say calmly: "Don't be surprised, the fart comes from the feather (rain)!" ”

As soon as Guan Yu's voice fell, Zhao Yun on the side took a step forward and said, "Don't be surprised, farts come from the clouds!" ”

As soon as Zhao Yun finished speaking, Zhang Fei, who had a loud voice, then shouted: "The fart is flying!" ”

Everyone burst into laughter. Liu Bei has also returned to normal.

Cao Cao didn't laugh, he was deeply touched by this matter. After sending Liu Bei and the others away, Cao Cao said to his subordinates: "Liu Bei's subordinates, when they saw that the lord had a mistake, they all rushed to take responsibility and make up for their mistakes, which can really be described as loyal. If it's your turn, will it be possible? ”

Everyone was indignant and said in unison: "Prime Minister, isn't it just a, what's so difficult about this!" You'll see next time. ”

A few days later, Cao Cao invited Liu Bei to drink again, and during the banquet he wanted to fart to see how his subordinates reacted. After holding it for a long time, I finally held back a little fart. Everyone had been waiting for a long time, and when they heard the sound of "goo", the general Xu Chu was anxious, and hurriedly shouted first:

The fart was put by Chu (pig)! ”

Wang Lang followed closely and said: "The fart was put by Lang (wolf)!" ”

Gou An said: This is Gou (dog) fart.

Cai Mao said: This is a Mao (cat) fart.

Cao Cao's eyes widened when he heard this, and the others thought that Cao Cao thought he was slow, so they rushed to him.

Niu Jin said: "This is a golden fart!" ”

Xun Yu said: "This is Yu (jade) fart!" ”

Cao Hong said: "The fart is Hong (red)!" ”

Gao Ran said: "The fart is Lan (blue)!" ”

Jiang Gan said: "The fart is dry!" ”

Sima Shi said: "The fart is Shi (wet)!" ”

Xiahou Yuan said: "The fart is Yuan (round)!" ”

Cao Fang said: "The fart is square! ”

He is worthy of being my No. 1 military advisor. Cao Cao thought secretly. Let's hear what he has to say.

I only heard Guo Jia say: "This is Jia (fake) fart!" ”

Cao Zhen grabbed again: "This is a real fart!" ”

Guo Huai said: "This is Huai (bad) fart!" ”

Zhang He said: "The fart is (drinking)!" ”

Sima Yan said: "The fart is Yan (pharyngeal)!" ”

Xu Huang said: "The fart is dangling!" ”

Xiahou Dun said: "The fart is Dun (jumping)!" ”

Guo Tu said: "The fart is (spit out)!"

Xiahou Ba said: "The fart is out of the tyrant".

Xun You said: "The fart is from You! ”

Full pet said: "The fart is a pet (rush)!" ”

Jiang Ji said: "The fart is squeezed (squeezed)!" ”

Zhong Xuan said: "The fart is from the fart (shake)!" ”

Finally, Cao Cao couldn't hold back any longer, and said angrily: "Nonsense, farts are out." ”

There was a bai prince who could only speak one word a year. Du one day, he met one in his mind.

Dao goddess, he version is very excited, the right is that he knows that he can only say one word a year, so, it took him four years, just when he saw the goddess and wanted to say I like you, a stone tripped him, "Oops I'll go" Mom, the word that has been stored for four years is ruined.

There was a little wolf who didn't eat meat, he was a vegetarian, and his parents were worried about him, and one day, his parents saw him chasing a rabbit, and his parents were very happy, but the little wolf said to the rabbit, "Give me the carrots."

My son complained to his mother, the puppy bit my leather shoes, and my mother said that she would punish him severely, and I said that I had already punished him? I drank all the milk in the dog bowl and starved him for a day to see if he dared to do so next time.

Child: Dad, what will happen if I get 100 points? Dad: Then I'll die of joy. Child: Daddy, I'm not going to let you die.

Can give you 100 reasons to laugh off your big teeth 100 times.

Me: Daddy, are you like Daddy?

Dad: I'm not like Dad, like what?

Me: Like an older brother.

A person's big toe suddenly turned blue, the doctor diagnosed it as cancer, so it was removed, a few days, the second toe also turned blue, after the removal, three days later, the sole of the foot turned all blue, had to be transferred to a big hospital, and finally the expert consultation diagnosed as: socks faded.

1What time did I say to my girlfriend? My girlfriend took a picture of her watch with her mobile phone and said it was ten o'clock. 2Your mother is the most beautiful mother in the world. Back to your dad.

Dad is the most beautiful dad in the world, why do you look so ugly? Gu Yu said that the dragon and phoenix are auspicious. 3** up.

The physics teacher closed the door because it was noisy outside. 4. I met a host today, and he said to an old lady: Brother Heng, Brother Heng, I love you! Let this old lady follow along.

One day one person said to another person that you eat my leftovers every day, and I want you to taste my leftovers too, and then the other person said did you bring me food to eat?

I had a fight with my classmates in the third grade, and I called my brother in the sixth grade, and he called his brother in the second year of junior high school, and I also called my cousin Rong in the first year of high school, and he called my brother in the third year of high school! At this time, everyone thought that we were going to lose, but fortunately, by that time my cousin had already learned the text of Tian Ji horse racing, and yes, I was the inferior horse.

Once upon a time, a cyclist crashed into a wild boar with a very low IQ because he was too fast. The IQ immediately reached zero, and from then on this wild boar and this man depended on each other, eating 30 tons of hay and drinking 50 tons of sewage every day, and the world was never polluted again. It is known as the little guardian of environmental protection.

The teacher asked Xiao Ming what is one plus one? Xiao Ming said he didn't know. Teacher.

Let Xiao Ming go home and ask his mother. Mom is playing mahjong, and Hui Xiaoming said that Mom is equal to one plus one answer? Mom said Hu, it was Xiao Ming who went to ask his father again, Dad was watching the ball game, Xiao Ming asked Dad what is one plus one?

I don't know when I sleep in spring, and I smell birds everywhere. Xiao Ming has this brother, his brother is really in love, Xiao Ming, what is Brother Wang's one plus one? Brother is back, my dear, you wait for me downstairs.

Spring sleep is not spring sleep is not aware, and birds are heard everywhere. Honey, you're waiting for me downstairs.

When he was about to go to bed, his son was bitten by a mosquito. In the evening, my father rubbed my son's dew and got up in the morning, and my son said, "Daddy's mosquitoes peed on me."

Do handiwork directly for the princess, and you can also write it!

There was a black man who was besieged by a group of police, and the black man ran into a group of white people, and the police searched for it, but they didn't find it, because the black man was scared white.

Once my sister made a mistake and my mother was about to beat her, my sister said, "You can kill me." After that, my mom didn't fight.

A few days later, I made a mistake, and when my mother was about to fight, I also followed my sister and shouted: You can kill me! I didn't expect my mother to be like eating Xuanmai, and she couldn't stop at all.