Is intergenerational parenting really so scary, is it really good to have a baby across generations?

Whoever takes the likeness, the child is a mirror.

Recently, with the full implementation of the three-child policy, it has attracted a lot of heated discussions. In the past, the state advocated not to raise children from the next generation, and with the implementation of the policy to encourage the next generation of parenting, then I will talk about the pros and cons of taking a baby from the next generation with my own experience!

I am a mother of 2 children in 92. gave birth to Dabao in 2017, and took Dabao to Shenzhen for 5 months due to work reasons, and Dabao stayed in his hometown to bring his mother-in-law. I work in the service industry, and we have to go to work when others are off, so I rarely go home to see my children all year round.

Slowly as time goes by, Dabao is now 4 years old. I am well aware that there are many disadvantages of intergenerational education.

For example, it is easy to form doting. The elderly love their grandchildren excessively and accommodate their children everywhere, which can easily cause children to be willful and dependent, and have low self-care ability. Some elderly people even "protect the short", resulting in children's weaknesses not being corrected for a long time!

Outdated ideology. The elderly still use old concepts to demand children, teach too much old experience, and lack the cultivation of pioneering spirit and open thinking.

Causing emotional estrangement between children and parents. The elderly's doting and caring for their grandchildren makes it difficult for children to accept the strict requirements and criticisms of their parents, and it is easy to form emotional estrangement and emotional confrontation, making it difficult to carry out normal and necessary education.

It has a great impact on the development of a child's personality. Intergenerational parenting may lead to psychological mutation of children and produce some psychological problems: social phobia, personality weirdness, psychological fragility, psychological aging, etc.

Some of the advantages of intergenerational parenting: Allowing young people to go to work to earn money and reduce the financial burden. The elderly have more experience in parenting, have plenty of time and patience. The child's growth environment is more secure, and so on.

There are no absolutes in everything, there are good and bad, whether the pros outweigh the disadvantages or the disadvantages outweigh the pros, weigh it yourself! My personal suggestion is that if your strength allows, it is better to take your own children!! What do you think? You can post your views in the comment area below.

Introduction: There are many young people who leave their children to the elderly because they have to work. But the ideology of the elderly may be somewhat different from that of young people today, how bad is intergenerational parenting? <>

Many young people are busy with work after giving birth, so they will hand over the children to their parents-in-law. But at this time, some parents may find that their children have formed a lot of bad habits. Because there are many elderly people in the process of taking care of children, as long as the children do not cry or make trouble, they can meet the children with whatever they want.

After a long time, the child will be very disobedient. If they want something, they cry when they don't satisfy them. There are even some children who have lost their personalities, and there will be particularly big changes.

Many grandparents like to dress their children a lot when they are taking care of them. Especially when there is a slight cooling, they will choose to add layers of thick clothes to the child. In fact, this is not right, because doing so will make the child's physical fitness worse and worse.

When too many clothes are worn, the child is very prone to colds, and always having a cold will definitely cause some effects on the child's health. There are also some elderly people who especially like to buy snacks for their children to eat, because they feel very sorry for their grandchildren or granddaughters. But after eating too many of these snacks, it will not only make their health bad, but also make their appetite worse.

There may be many young people who are forced to hand over their children to the elderly. However, if the elderly are asked to take care of the child for a long time, the child will gradually lose his independence. Because many elderly people are particularly spoiled by children, they want to solve all the problems of their children.

There may be some young people who will exercise their ability to wash socks or do housework in the process of taking care of children. In the eyes of the elderly, these behaviors are a sign that parents are very lazy. Therefore, after a long time, children like to rely on adults for everything, and they have no ability to be independent when they grow up.

The intergenerational parenting will only miss the child, and will not give the child early education in advance, nor will it give the child some useful knowledge, nor do they know how to develop the child's intelligence.

Generational parenting is really bad because some older people are very spoiled with their children.

I think there are drawbacks to "intergenerational parenting", but not all of them are bad.

Introduction: Nowadays, many family members are grandparents or grandparents who take care of their children, mainly because parents have to go out to work to earn money, subsidize the family, and give their children a better life. Although intergenerational education is very common, there are some things that need to be paid special attention to when intergenerational education, otherwise it is likely to have some negative effects on children.

It is impossible for parents to bring much education to their children during the day, after all, it is one thing to be able to come back after a busy day. And for the older generation of people, they treat their grandchildren and grandchildren, in fact, they are very doting, after all, it is a child born of their own children, then they will take special care, and all things are directly replaced, but you must know that for all things to be replaced, it is not conducive to the healthy growth of children, and it is likely to cause children to be very willful, because they say that their parents have all agreed, and enjoy all means to meet his requirements, This also brings a bad education to the child, which will make the child very difficult to manage at that time, so I hope that all grandparents and grandparents must have requirements for the child, and cannot be overly arranged and replaced, and cannot be overly spoiled.

And when his parents are educating their children, the older generation of people try not to interfere too much, otherwise the children may have a double-faced performance in the later stage, that is, in front of their parents, in front of their grandparents, in general, it is very disrespectful to their grandparents, because he feels that no matter what he does, his grandparents will understand that they will love them and will not have any dissatisfaction with his behavior. And when the time comes, after the child makes a mistake, he will directly ask his grandparents to help solve it, and when there is no way to solve it, it will be too late at that time.

The most taboo is doting, the taboo is to beat and scold, the taboo is yelling, the taboo is to let the child without a bottom line, and the taboo is to respond to the child's needs.

The most taboo is to spoil the child, which will ruin the child, lead to the lack of the child's character, and then also lead to the child being very willful, which is not conducive to the child's development.

It is taboo to teach children children's language, spoil children, unconditionally meet children's requests, buy unwanted things for children, and do not let children correct things after doing wrong things, these are particularly taboo.

Generational parenting is a very common phenomenon in China, mainly because parents are busy with work and can only leave their children to the elderly. In fact, there are many taboos in intergenerational parenting, such as the elderly blocking parents from educating their children, caring too much about their children, and spoiling them excessively。All of these conditions can lead to the raising of bear children.

1. Hindering parental education.

The elderly generally feel very sorry for their grandchildren, and always block them when their parents educate their children, and over time, the children will become more and more lawless, not caring at all what their parents say, and doing things recklessly. Some children will gradually develop a two-faced personality, being more willful in front of the elderly, and pretending to be especially well-behaved in front of their parents. This is a problem that will occur in many families with intergenerational parenting, although the elderly are intergenerational parents, but this will harm the children.

2. Excessive care.

The elderly will always care too much about their grandchildren, put the children in the first place, open a small stove for the children, cook the children's favorite dishes, always follow the children to ask for warmth, and quickly go up to help them up to comfort them when they fall, etc. These children are usually more selfish, they are reluctant to share their things with others, and they become more and more possessive.

3. Lack of security awareness.

Children brought up by the elderly usually lack safety awareness, for example, some elderly people do not look at traffic lights and do not take zebra crossings when crossing the road, and children will also follow the example and make some more dangerous behaviors. Many elderly people do not teach their children safety knowledge, and children's safety awareness is naturally lacking.

4. Loss of independence.

The elderly respond to the child's requests, the child is still chasing after the child at the age of three or four to feed, and at the age of seven or eight, he will help the child to dress, such a child has lost the ability to be independent. That's why many kindergarten children don't even know the most basic things to dress and eat.

Therefore, there are many things that need to be paid attention to by the elderly with babies, although the work of parents is very busy, but they should also be educated in a timely manner, and children cannot be allowed to develop like this.

The most taboo is to spoil children without bottom lines and principles, because this kind of education is likely to ruin children, is not conducive to children to develop a good living habits, and is also likely to lead to children's special willfulness and arrogance.

The most taboo thing in intergenerational education is to say that his parents are not good in front of the child, don't spoil the child too much, and don't interfere with the older generation when the parents are educating them.

When parents educate their children, grandparents must not interfere, they must set a particularly good example for their children, do not spoil or spoil their children excessively, and must have principles and bottom lines.

The most taboo thing in intergenerational education is not to let grandparents educate children, not to teach grandparents to children, and not to let grandpa remember filial piety and grandma to spoil children and get used to children, and children can buy what they want, and they can't let grandparents feed children casually, these are the most taboo things.

The most taboo is to spoil the child too much, and sometimes the child's three views will be crooked, and it will also lead to the child's personality trembling and closing a big defect, which can not be corrected in time, but will make things more serious.

The most taboo is to let the elderly spoil their children excessively. I will give him whatever I want, and I love him too much. At this time, it will affect the child's growth, and the laughing liquid family will make the child especially have no independent ability to bury the grinding power. It will also make the child particularly unindependent.

If parents are educating their children, then the next generation of parents must not interfere, and when encountering some things, do not often do it for the child, and let the child solve it by himself. If the child has something that he wants to buy very much, then the parents must let the child exchange a very good thing with him. Let them understand that not everything is readily available.

Afraid that the elders will spoil the child, there is always no bottom line, and often the verification will envy the child, reassign and will not correct the child's wrong behavior, and also worry that the elders will yell at the child.

First of all, when parents accompany and educate their children, as grandparents and elders, don't interfere, don't spoil your children in your daily life, don't have a bottom line when educating your children, and then don't keep making compromises.

Generational parenting is a very common phenomenon in China, and many young parents are very busy with their work. They don't have time to educate their children, they don't have time to manage their children, so they will let their grandparents or grandparents educate their children.

Grandparents are generally very fond of children, and they can't wait to stick to their children every day, and many children are spoiled in this way. But for grandparents, it is also a very happy thing for them to be able to see their grandchildren grow up in their lifetime, so they will try their best to be good to their children. And we can usually discuss with the elders first, tell them how to educate the children correctly, and also tell them that spoiling the children in this way will make the children develop a lot of bad habits.

After many grandparents find out that their children have made some mistakes, in order to prevent the children's parents from working hard, their grandparents will help hide these mistakes, which is also very unexpected. If we let our children develop a kind of hamburger disease of lying, it will also make the child never change, because a small lie, we need to make up for it with multiple lies. Therefore, I hope that grandparents can face their children's mistakes correctly and actively help children correct their mistakes, so that parents can accept them better.

If everyone's work is not particularly busy, in fact, it is better to bring children with them to raise them, because grandparents dot on children, which we can't imagine. Maybe the grandparents will buy what the child wants, and some of the better habits we have established for the child before will also be destroyed. Be sure to communicate with the elderly at home.