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<> overlooked. Obviously, I try very hard to express my opinion, but the adults either don't respond, or they express their own opinions, and they don't care what the children think. Scolding.
This kind of beating and scolding is like this: the child makes a mistake because he doesn't understand, and the parents don't give positive guidance, and they will beat and scold as soon as they come, because the beating will have a long memory. Don't admit mistakes.
Parents have their own authority, sometimes they are wrong, children are right, but they can't let go and admit their mistakes. What's more, the child found evidence of the parent's mistake, but the parent chose high pressure to solve it, and the child did not dare to speak. Family education affects people's lives, and the behavior of parents who serve as family education is the key to family education, and parents will harm their children's body and mind if they misbehave.
verbal violence; Parents' verbal violence against children hurts children the most, such as cynicism and blind belittling regardless of the occasion, which will seriously hurt children's self-esteem and make children feel inferior, and this inferiority will accompany children throughout their lives and seriously affect their lives and careers.
Some parents are short-tempered, rude to their children, a little unpleasant, do not ask right and wrong, they will beat and scold their children, seriously hurt their children's self-esteem, parents such behavior will cause psychological shadows to children, children will have psychological problems, which will affect a lifetime. Some parents are more indifferent to their children, no matter how good the child does, the parents treat them with indifference, and the parents' behavior will make the child lack confidence and love, and the child will not know how to love others when he grows up, thus affecting the child's family. Some parents are not in harmony, often quarrel and scold, or ignore each other, and take cold violence against each other, which will cause tension in the family atmosphere, and make the child tremble, thus causing the child to have psychological problems and affect the child's life.
In a person's life, the greatest impact is on the original family, and the behavior of parents in the original family is the most important, so parents must pay attention to their words and deeds, and do not intentionally or unintentionally hurt their children.
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1: Excessive caring.
It is natural for parents to love their children, but excessive care has become doting, not only will not bring benefits, but will bring a lot of trouble to children, children who grow up in doting are easy to develop the character of a little bully, thinking that all love should be, do not know how to give, only to take, so that after going to society, they will hit a wall everywhere, and their hearts will be extremely painful.
2: Excessive nagging.
Parents are preaching to their children every day, grasping a little mistake of their children and constantly nagging and blaming, which brings great pain to their children. So parents arm themselves with authority, and children protect themselves with emotions.
3. Over-control.
Controlling parents are prevalent in society, most of the Chinese parents are controlling, we are used to telling children what to do, what not to do, arrange all things for children, such excessive control will lead to a lack of control of the child, his life is for you, psychological research has found that most of the psychological problems of middle school students are rooted in the lack of control of life. So don't be an overly controlling parent.
4. Excessive expectations.
Parents hope that their children will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes. But we must also look at the reality rationally, do not give children too high expectations, let children have been in a disappointed state of life, and a long-term blow to children's self-confidence will make children lose their happy life.
5. Excessive blame.
Children will always make mistakes, life is growing up in continuous mistakes, some parents always like to blame their children for their children's mistakes, and attribute all mistakes to the fact that children do not listen to their parents, in fact, this is a manifestation of shirking responsibility, and excessive blame from parents will develop the habit of shirking responsibility for children.
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The most common is in family education, just parents blindly invest, children do not pay, or in the process of education, parents always criticize children, do not respect children's ideas, and make decisions for them, which will also hurt the baby.
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will not control the child's emotions, and will give the child a strict education, and at the same time will abuse the child, do not carry out a good education, do not establish an image, these are all prohibited.
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When educating children, try not to educate in the first person, because this will cause a certain psychological shadow to the child, and do not hit the child, should be encouraged, in the face of some problems that the child will not try to talk to the child gently, and should tell the child some reason, so that the child understands more things, so that the child is better, do not ask your child to compare with other children.
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Don't hit the child, don't deny the child, don't be cold and violent to the child, don't beat the child, don't spoil the child.
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A child's education is mainly divided into two parts, one is family education and the other is school education. School education is mainly done by school teachers, while home education is done by family parents. Family education is not something that you can do whatever you want, but there are many taboos.
In family education, it is necessary to understand some taboos, otherwise it is likely to affect the healthy growth of children and delay them for life.
There are many children who are naughty, and when parents educate their children, it is easy to be annoyed by the child's naughty disobedience, and then they will get angry and beat the child.
This kind of behavior is incorrect, beating will seriously affect the healthy growth of children, violence will cause psychological shadows to children, it is likely to make children autistic, or also develop the habit of beating violence, which is not right and cannot achieve the effect of education.
Like many parents who beat their children, many parents use verbal abuse to vent their anger. This, like beating, is unqualified and can have a serious psychological impact on the child.
Verbal abuse is extremely uncivilized, and abusing children will make children develop the habit of insulting, because the upper beam is not correct and the lower beam is crooked, and the upward and downward effects are effective. To put it mildly, it will reduce the quality of the child. To put it more broadly, it is not conducive to the harmonious development of society, and it is easy to cause contradictions in public security, and if it is not done well, it will also lead to fights and brawls.
There is also a comparison psychology among parents, and many parents like to compare their children with other people's children. I always like to say, you look at whose children, how people are doing, and then look at you.
This kind of comparison can seriously hurt the child's self-esteem, because there are people outside the world, and there are heavens outside the sky, and the child cannot be the best. In the long run, it will make the child feel that he is not as good as others, and it will make the child live a very tired life and live a very inferior life.
Family education is very important, and there are some taboos that we must also be aware of. The above taboos must be taboo in family education, otherwise it may hurt the child's young mind.
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1.Don't argue in front of your child.
The adult world always blames each other, even if it is a family, eating a pot of rice, there will be situations of blaming each other. Whether it is between husband and wife or involving the elderly, disputes and mutual blame are a kind of harm to children, and in the face of adult discord, they can do nothing but hide helplessly in the corner.
2.Don't dampen your child's curiosity.
Curiosity is God's gift to every child, because curiosity, children are willing to explore, willing to learn, the rich and colorful world outside, let them be full of curiosity, let them have expectations for the world, to grow up is not a good thing? Don't choose to ignore or reject your child because they ask strange and unprincipled questions, what you reject is not their question, but a burning heart that they are willing to think and create. If they are always ignored by their parents, they will lose interest and become more and more distant from their parents.
3.Don't fail to give your child a chance to explain.
Many children are educated by their parents before they can explain, as if their mistakes must be caused by their mischievous behavior, and if they defend themselves, they will be labeled as quibbles. Parents should know that when children are accustomed to going against the grain, they won't have too many subjective thoughts of their own, so how will they face life alone in the future?
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In family education, we must respect children, do not beat and scold children, do not insult children, when children do things to become parents, we must do a good job of guidance, parents should accompany children more, let children have some love, but also give children enough security, do not beat and scold children in front of children, and do not say some ugly words.
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It is best not to criticize the child when eating, and in the process of education, the opinions are not unanimous, do not pay attention to the child's emotional changes, do not respect the child's interests and hobbies, and always contradict the child.
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First of all, when the child is in a good mood or at the time of eating, try not to educate the child, when educating the child, parents should join in the process, do not sing red face, one sing white face, and in the process of educating children, we must also use the way of communication in a timely manner, do not choose a violent way.
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Don't leave your children in the hands of your elders. Grandparents or grandparents are buddies, dear, and if the child makes a mistake, they will not correct the child.
Children's education must be undertaken by the child's parents themselves, and cannot be handed over to others, otherwise the child will grow crooked, and the parents will regret it, and it is useless to be anxious.
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1. Don't punish your child harshly, otherwise it will leave a shadow on your child.
2. Don't insult your child, this will increase your child's sense of rebellion.
3. Don't compare your own children with other children.
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Don't use beating and scolding to educate your children, and then you should also set a good example for your children, create a good family environment for your children, and educate your children through encouragement.
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What are the taboos in family education, that is, parents try not to ask their children in a commanding tone, or choose to communicate calmly and well.
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There are many taboos in family education, such as parents are in a hurry, parents are too eager for their children to become successful, and put too much pressure on their children.
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Beating and scolding children, often evaluating children negatively, and forcibly interfering to control children are all taboos in family education.
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The relationship between parents must not quarrel in front of their children, and parents must not pick the door when they respect the elderly.
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The family is the first school of life, and parents are the first teachers of life. Homeschooling is crucial. Through years of experience in education and teaching management and the experience of interacting with parents and students, I believe that there are at least three misunderstandings in the past and current family education.
1. Child-only thinking is serious. It is the wish of parents all over the world to hope that their son will become a dragon and their daughter will become a phoenix, and there is nothing wrong with it. However, in order to become a dragon and a phoenix, parents can be said to rack their brains and unscrupulous means, everything revolves around their children, and regard children and their learning as the center of the family, children come first, and nothing else matters.
Practice has proved that putting children first and ignoring the relationship between husband and wife, ethics and morality, common sense of etiquette, and rules and regulations will lead to the failure of society and the failure of life in the long run.
2. Passing on personal ideals is serious. A type of parents, we parents are all college graduates, and they are all high-achieving students back then, and their children cannot be left behind; Another type of parent When we were parents and didn't go to school, our children would overtake us. Parents impose their own unfinished matters on their children, blindly set goals, blindly pursue their own ideals, children are always like being pushed to trot, lose the motivation to move forward, and lose the goal of life.
3. The idea of shaking hands is serious. Politely, the teacher gave you a lot of pain; You're welcome, what's the matter, I didn't teach my children well, I didn't train my children to become talents, I didn't finish with the school and teachers. Two attitudes, one thought, that is, to be the shopkeeper, it is the responsibility of the school and the teacher to send the child to school, and it has nothing to do with us parents.
Parents are the mirror of their children, and children are the shadows of their parents. Two small villages with a big surname, living across the road for many years. The East villagers are simple, old and young, and there are more and more college students who have passed the examination year by year; The West Village is poor and backward, and when you go to do business, you taste me and steal, and the students are illiterate and don't earn money by working.
Why is there such a big difference between the children and grandchildren of a grandfather? Looking at the family tree, the ancestor of the East Village is Xiuzi, and the ancestor of the West Village is the dog leg of the rich man's family, and the reason why the current result is caused is because of the family style.
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Don't insult your child directly, don't tell your child that you can't do it, don't compare your child to others, don't disrespect your child's ideas, and don't force your child to do things he doesn't like.
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The first thing is to create a particularly good family for the child, and parents must not quarrel or fight in front of the child, and then do not blame the child for all the mistakes, and should communicate more with the child.
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In the family education, I am reluctant to communicate with the child, I am not worthy of respecting the child, not listening to the child's ideas, taking care of all the children's sales, and meeting all the children's requirements.
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