Why do we always make personal attacks when communicating?

When communicating, we are always attacking in life, it may be because your emotional intelligence is too low, you can't find a topic, or you won't express your thoughts tactfully, and the other is that your character may really not be good, and you always want to attack others to satisfy some of your bad habits and hobbies.

I think there will be personal attacks in communication, and there must be a contradiction to do so, and normal communication will not be personal attacks.

Because some people are jealous of other people's goodness, and then others feel that they are not good, that person compares himself, and at this time he will attack others to win a comfort in his heart.

Maybe we are always very sensitive, always feel that others are attacking us, and we want to fight back unconsciously, so we are always attacking personally.

I think it's because we don't have the same opinions, but we really want to get others to agree with us, to make others feel that our views are higher and more correct, so we criticize other people's views and others.

It may be that those people are always bullied by others in their daily life, so they bring a little bit of life attack when they speak in their daily life.

Because each of us doesn't want to be hurt ourselves, but if we want to not be hurt ourselves, we have to attack others.

Maybe it's because everyone has this habit. There is also the pleasure of teasing each other and attacking each other.

Because sometimes, personal attacks in language are a language habit developed since childhood, and she has no other meaning, it can only be a mantra, so everyone should understand.

The main reason is that people's social pressure has become too great now, so there will be a bad attitude towards the people around them.

Actually, I don't make personal attacks, I feel like something should be right and not right.

In fact, it may be that a person does not know how to communicate and does not know how to get along with a person.

I think communication is a life attack, it's okay to joke, but you can't joke, it's too big.

It's a true story, it was one time when I was in college, a classmate forgot his book in the classroom, and I asked him to pick it up, and I said yes, and I said, "You're such a loser."

Unexpectedly, the classmate frowned slightly after hearing this, and then said to me seriously: "You shouldn't define a person so arbitrarily, it's very rude."

I was just a little surprised at what he said. But the whole day after that, I started to think about it, and I fell into a deep fear.

I said, "You're a loser. I didn't even realize that this was essentially a highly irresponsible, baseless personal attack. I wantonly commented negatively on my classmate just because he didn't bring a book.

This not only makes the listener very uncomfortable, but also reflects the low emotional intelligence and upbringing of the speaker.

And, when he responded to me, he said, "It's rude for you to do that." Instead of "You're a very rude person."

The former's first reaction was to think about how rude I was. Despite his rebuttal, what he said did not make people feel uncomfortable at all, and when I thought about it, my ignorance and the upbringing of the other party made me feel deeply guilty and ashamed of myself.

At the same time, I began to wonder why I was so easy and natural to judge others.

When I thought of this, I was horrified to find that the environment in which I grew up turned out to be like this.

Up to now, many parents in China still do not consider their children's psychological feelings when communicating with their children.

If someone makes a personal attack, if it is not serious, you should immediately change the topic to the "original controversial topic" to prevent him from turning the topic at you again.

But if the other party's words are bad, it depends on whether you can control your emotions at this time or not. When you can control it, you can use polite words to make him pay attention to the use of words, and if he knows to save face, he will generally react. If you can't control your emotions anymore, then there is little room for remedy, and you will definitely attack him in turn.

At this time, it is better to leave decisively, there is no longer a need for controversy.

In general, it is inevitable that people will have conflicts of opinion during debates, and there are often disagreements in national parliaments. But whether or not to launch verbal personal attacks because of this is a matter of personal quality. If you do, it's best not to think about it, it will only make the situation worse, and it is most realistic to end the conversation decisively.

Classical psychoanalysis: Everyone has an unconscious instinct to die. But a person with a healthy personality does not self-harm, so this self-destructive impulse will turn outward and express it to others in an aggressive way.

From an evolutionary point of view, for example, males tend to be more aggressive than females, because males have an innate need to control their competitors in order to preserve themselves and pass on their genes.

Humanistic school: they do not admit that some people are inherently aggressive. Human beings are kind by nature, and if they can grow in an environment of abundance and encouragement, all people can grow into optimistic and kind people.

Problems arise when certain factors get in the way of this natural process of growth. If children develop a poor self-image, they may lash out at others when they encounter setbacks.

Social Learning Genre: People learn to aggressively behave just like any other behavior. Children who dominate the playground find that they can fight and get rewarded, and they can play whatever they want, because other children are afraid of them.

This aggressive behavior is rewarded not as a punishment, and these children become aggressive adults. At the same time, it also serves as a powerful role model for other children.

School of Cognitive Psychology: The focus of the exploration is on how aggressive people process information. Some people tend to interpret vague events as threatening events, while also reacting aggressively.