How to make my husband realize his mistakes and consciously and voluntarily control the bad behavior

First of all, I want to say that your husband can't quit smoking is not about the family or you don't care, I'm embarrassed to say, I'm also a smoker, my girlfriend feels a little disgusting when she asks about the taste of cigarettes, and has persuaded me to quit smoking many times, I have tried to quit a few times, but once it didn't work, it's not that I don't love my girlfriend, we have been together for more than 4 years, the relationship has been very good, I care about her very much, but smoking is not something that can be quit, it is indeed difficult, In fact, I also know that it is not good for my health, and sometimes I feel that my throat is very dry, still. How to say it's good, but I recently tried a medicine to quit smoking, and I think it's okay, although there is still a little smoking, but it is much less. If you have time, this sister can also go to the pharmacy to choose a better prop to quit smoking to help, I believe your husband will definitely try, don't be cranky, this thing doesn't mean anything, it's right to really find a way to help him quit smoking, he must still care about you in his heart.

Wishing happiness.

You tell him that the doctor keeps the child away from smoking, otherwise the respiratory tract will be infected and so on, that the child is immature, has poor resistance, etc., but if the doctor specifically advises him, he should be evasive, because he now thinks that his smoking has not brought you a lot of harm. You're going to be serious.

Look at the three tips for quitting smoking in my space and let him read it too.

I didn't like smoking in the first place, so I never smoked!

He has to quit smoking if he wants to, and if he doesn't want to quit himself, it's okay.

You have to start with his subjectivity!

I need to tell you for the majority of male compatriots that quitting smoking is really hard, too hard! Have you ever heard the saying: If a person can quit smoking, then you should not be friends with him, because he can do anything.

Of course, this is a joke, but it also reluctantly admits the difficulty of quitting smoking!

At this time, you really need to recognize this fact and recognize the difficulties of quitting smoking, so that you will not rush for quick success and hope that he will quit smoking immediately. Once you understand the difficulty, let's think about how to solve it.

My advice to you is to identify your husband's weaknesses!

If your husband is a person who cares about money, you will take the initiative to buy cigarettes for him in the future, and you will buy any cigarettes that are expensive. You can tell him that cheap cigarette filters are of poor quality and that they are more harmful to the body than the tobacco itself. You can tell your husband that you can smoke more cigarettes if you live longer!

Then you pick expensive cigarettes and buy them for him. After a long time, I believe he will be very distressed, and he will smoke less little by little, and his addiction to smoking will be well controlled by himself, and if it takes a long time, maybe he will really quit smoking.

My father-in-law used to be a smoker, and then my eldest sister was admitted to graduate school, and my husband was admitted to university, and when the family needed money, he made money in Russia to support their family and provide for them to go to school. Because I was worried about money, I quit smoking little by little.

So if your husband is a person who is not willing to spend money on himself, I believe this method will be very effective for him.

But if your husband makes a lot of money, he is not bad for the money of these good cigarettes. Then you have to see what other weaknesses he has. If his weaknesses are his strengths, for example, if he is a particularly family-oriented and responsible person.

Then you might as well get yourself pregnant, and now have a child of yours, whether you are trying to conceive or are pregnant, your husband will not smoke in front of you. He will smoke behind your back, and he will smoke much less often than before. Then you talk to him for a long time, and you say that you want him to quit smoking, and that you are very responsible to you and to your little ones.

So no matter how uncomfortable he is, I believe that a responsible person will try to restrain his addiction to smoking and start trying to quit smoking.

I also started trying to get pregnant last year, and my husband quit smoking. Believe me, for a responsible man who will quit smoking for the sake of what you have done for your family, they really have to do it!

Finally, let's go back to the original "If a person can quit smoking, he can do anything." We know that it is very difficult to quit smoking, and his craving for smoking is not formed in a day, so we should not expect him to quit smoking right away. Quitting smoking requires a process, please give him some time, give him some patience, give him some trust, and also give him a bit of self-reflection.

I believe that he will quit smoking, and I wish you good health!

This is very similar to my dad, if I'm not mistaken, I remember that since I was in elementary school, my dad said to quit smoking, basically an average of 1-2 times a month, the last year doesn't seem to say much, maybe I feel embarrassed to say it for more than ten years.

Yes, my dad is the kind of guy who pays lip service to you but doesn't actually do it at all. Because, if your husband is like this, I suggest that you never believe what your husband says. It's easy to say yes verbally, but it's hard to implement it in practice.

So, first of all, we can make three chapters of the law. After all, there is no sense of formality in verbal promises, and it is easy to think that I am just talking casually anyway, so the action will be very poor. Therefore, you can write a contract about quitting smoking on a piece of paper and ask him to sign it, which seems more formal, and you can also put some pressure on your husband to feel that he has signed it, and it is no longer a casual thing.

Secondly, you can give some rewards. For example, if your husband doesn't smoke for a week, what can he reward, and if he doesn't smoke for 10 days, what can he reward, so that there is a reward, and your husband will be more confident to do it. Of course, there must be a reward and a punishment, if your husband can't do it secretly smoking, you can punish your husband for washing dishes, washing clothes, mopping the floor, etc., the more he is afraid of something, the more he will be punished.

Finally, it is to mobilize the people around you to supervise, such as your children, as well as your own parents, his parents, relatives and friends around him, etc., let them supervise, if they find that they smoke secretly, they will tell you, if someone supervises, they will definitely not dare to be too arrogant, even if they hide and smoke secretly, in fact, the amount of smoking has dropped a lot, after all, it is not easy to hide and find opportunities.

I think that's a very difficult situation to do. If he promises you verbally, but doesn't implement it, it means that he is perfunctory to you, and he doesn't want to quit smoking at all, so I think you should take some practical measures, not just urge him to find some measures to quit smoking at home or when he is on vacation. For example, if you use chewing gum or fruit instead of a cigarette addict who wants to smoke when he comes, or you can go out and have fun, go on a trip, distract yourself and keep yourself busy, and then you may reduce the habit of smoking, and you keep urging him to give him something else when he is drying tobacco leaves, then I think it is a very effective measure.

You can pretend to be really angry once, then run away from home, make him realize the seriousness of the problem, and if he really cares about you, he will apologize to you and let you go home, and he will also quit smoking.

It is a process to often warn him about the dangers of smoking, give him confidence, first slowly reduce, and finally quit. Be patient.

I think it's very difficult for you to stop your husband from smoking, you should let him reduce the number of cigarettes first, and then let him stop smoking directly, usually if he wants to smoke, you can let him take candy to relieve it, the most important thing is that you know how to supervise him.

That's learning to dress and not smoking!

Take a good look at it.

If your mother-in-law's home is not in the same city as where you work, it is recommended that you do not leave your children to go to work. A child's childhood is only once, and you can continue to look for a job if you don't have it, and the two cannot be compared. After reading many cases of left-behind children, I suddenly found that this is really the case, those who are handed over to the elderly, and there is really no way for them to go out to work, which is more common in rural areas or poor mountainous areas.

Since you understand that children can't live without their mothers, don't be a ruthless mother, but give your children a complete maternal love.

I have read an expert investigative report that said that the most important thing children need before the age of 5 is a sense of security, and this sense of security can only come from their own mother, and no one else can replace it. Maybe you see that you give the child to the elderly, the child is very happy and happy to play, but in the deepest part of the child's heart, there will always be a vacancy of love from the mother. My baby is I alone to see 2 years old, at that time was a difficult family, and then handed over the child to the mother-in-law, when I left, the child did not know anything, I knew that the mother went to work, and then I did not see it for 10 days, the mother-in-law also felt sorry for the grandson to miss the mother, so I brought the child back, that I saw the child at that moment, it was really a thousand tastes indescribable, the baby should also wonder what class the mother went to, and I also miss the child every day at work, here omit 10,000 words difficult to express the kind of missing.

After that, it was a week of running back and forth between the two places. After 1 month, I called my mother-in-law to let the child stay by my side for the safest. Come back from work, play with the child, and in the middle of the day, the baby is the happiest time when I get off work in the afternoon, which shows that the elderly take care of it well, but it can not replace the mother's position in the baby's heart, this sense of security, I hope that mothers can think about it, don't leave regrets for the child's childhood.

I would suggest that it would be better for you to take care of your child before they start kindergarten.

I don't know why you want to go to work, because of maternity leave, because of pressure from your in-laws, or because you are desperate to go back to work and continue to work on a career you love so much, or if you are really forced to go to work because of financial constraints.

In fact, it is best for the child to be carried by himself, because from the law of physical and mental development of infants and young children, the baby's dependence on the mother before the age of three is no one can compare, and the mother's love for the child has a lifelong impact.

Although most of the elderly in China take care of their children, there is no shame in being a stay-at-home mother, and the responsibility you shoulder is very heavy. Do you really feel at ease to hand over the baby to your mother-in-law, and being taken by your mother-in-law is not what you imagined?

There are many disadvantages of the elderly taking care of children, first of all, her concept is very old-fashioned. I don't know what kind of person your mother-in-law is, is she really just the one who can feed and clothe the baby? Will she educate the baby?

After the baby falls, will she tell him to be careful in the future, or will she blame the stool or floor that tripped the baby in front of him?

Does she spoil children? Will any of the child's requests be met? Does she love cleanliness? Will you clean the house very clean, will you wash the baby's clothes every day? If she can't do it, don't give it to her.

In short, there are a lot of disadvantages of the elderly with children, and the habits they cultivate for their children may not be changed for a lifetime, do you think that your monthly income of thousands of dollars can be compared to the education of children?

In addition, it is the responsibility of you and your husband to take care of the children, and the elderly are not obliged to help us take care of the children, and after they are responsible for the wedding for you and your husband, there is not much they should do at home. It is also an act of filial piety to let them spend their old age in peace.

If life with your husband really reaches the point where it is difficult to maintain and you must need to work, then you should go to work, after all, material life is also a necessary condition for the growth of children.

If possible, it is still recommended to bring your own children.

The old man will also treat your child wholeheartedly, but,Children's habits are gradually formed from an early ageThe old man can help, butIt is not recommended to let go of it yourself, and leave it all to the old man to bringBecause there is a saying that "the next generation is distressed", yes, the old man must spoil the child, after some habits are formed, the child is by your side in the later stage, if you want to correct some of the child's bad habits, it will take some energy, and it will cause the child to resist you.

Children, it is customary when it should be, and it has to be managed when it should be managedChildren, innocent, as parents we can tolerate some of their little willfulness, butIf you make a mistake, or if you know that you can't do something, you must correct it in time, and you can't have the mentality of getting by.

If the elderly in the family help you take care of the children during the day, and you have time to accompany the children after work at night, or you can also accompany the children on weekends and have a certain amount of parent-child time, this is also okayBecause people can't always stay, they have to reflect the value of their livesAnyway, even if you don't go to work after giving birth to a child, you must have the ability to make money, whether you rely on your talent or your smart brainIt is possible to take care of children without losing the direction of their life.

In short,My personal opinion is that it is not recommended to give all the children to the elderly, and they must fulfill the responsibility of being a mother, because the child is 1-6 years old is the character development period, as mentioned earlier, if you are from 8 to 5 in the morning, Saturday and Sunday off this normal work can, but if you go to work in other places and the like, you can't see the child for a long time, it is not recommended to go, unless you have to bear the financial burden, because the child's growth is irreversible, in short, think about it yourself.