My boyfriend says I can t empathize, what should I do?

As his girlfriend, he needs to spoil you, and what you should do is right, as long as it is not excessive and does not violate the principles. But the premise is that your boyfriend spoils you enough, since your boyfriend has put forward empathy, it means that you have done too much or your boyfriend is not a person who spoils his daughter-in-law, or he has been really stressed recently.

When two people get along, everything is mutual, tolerate each other, understand each other, care for each other, and so on. Since your boyfriend has brought up the matter of empathy, the first thing to see is what kind of personality your boyfriend is. If you have a good temper and usually spoil you and tolerate you, then when he says this, it may be that you have done something excessive, or you don't care about him at all and understand him, because no matter how good your temper is, there will be an outburst one day, after all, you are not superhuman.

Or you really touched his bottom line, so that he can't bear you anymore. In such a situation, you should really self-reflect, empathize, see if you are really wrong, if it is really wrong, then lie and admit your mistake. If you encounter such a thing in the future, you should think about it first, there are many things that are really seen from the other party's point of view.

Since your boyfriend says you can't, then you can try more and get used to it, and there will be a lot fewer contradictions.

If it's just a small thing that doesn't involve choice, it might just be a whining word from you, just in time for your boyfriend to be in a bad mood. At this time, don't pay attention to him, because it's his reason, wait for him to admit your mistake to you. Because at this time, it is not necessarily that you don't empathize, but you don't think about it so much, maybe when he is in a good mood, it won't make any difference if you say the same thing.

For a person who is in a bad mood, it is just to find fault and vent. When he gets better, he will naturally come to coax you, and you don't have to be angry, after all, men are still under a lot of pressure in life.

There is nothing particularly true right or wrong between couples, just like relatives, they may not be able to vent when they are not happy outside, so they will vent it to their family members. This is a bad habit, and if this is the case, you also need to tell him to empathize and not hurt the person who loves you the most.

If there is no quarrel, just mentioned in the chat, then you should also pay attention to it, and usually think about it from the other party's point of view. Because you can say it in normal times, it means that you really lack such actions or thoughts, so you need to develop the habit of thinking more about what you do.

In this case, it is basically your boyfriend who complains that you have not thought about him, or that you have made something to him that he cannot or does not want to complete, and he will directly ask you this serious question.

What I want to say is that you can reflect on whether you have done anything unreasonable during this time, and whether you have forced your boyfriend to do something he is not willing to do. You can even observe his expression when he gets along with you in daily life, observe carefully, don't miss the slightest change, once his expression has a little bit of unwillingness in it, then I think, you have found the source of the problem.

Since he has raised this point to you, then you can think carefully about whether you will think about your boyfriend from time to time, whether you will look at the problem from his point of view, whether you will compare your heart with your heart, and whether you will not be difficult to force others.

If there is, it will be changed, and if it is not, it will be encouraged. If you reflect on it for a while, of course, not for too long, because since your boyfriend has made this clear, then it means that he has been having a hard time. If you don't find anything wrong with you after reflection, then just have a showdown with your boyfriend and ask him directly what he dislikes about you.

Don't be too shy and afraid, the best way to solve the problem is to communicate, only when the two of you open up to each other, take out all the things, and discuss the problem together, can you fundamentally remove the contradictions and scars in your feelings.

After all, boyfriend and girlfriend are not roundworms in each other's stomachs, and you are not really heart-to-heart, you don't know what he is thinking, instead of guessing casually, it is better to ask directly, which saves time and is extremely accurate.

So, after understanding, you should act as soon as possible, take good care of your emotions, and run towards a better future.

Saying that the other person doesn't think about themselves and never empathizes is a very common reason for quarrels between couples. If you encounter such a problem, then you should calm down and think about whether you have thought about it for him. If you really don't, think about it from his point of view before doing things in the future, and if you think about it from your shoes, then you can talk to him about what problems have arisen between you.

Or you can change your identity to experience what it's like to be the other person for a day, so that you can feel more directly that something is wrong between you.

I once saw a little ** on the Internet, where a girl complained to her boyfriend, saying that her boyfriend didn't care about her, but her boyfriend kept saying that her girlfriend didn't empathize. In order not to deteriorate their relationship, they decided to change identities and experience each other's roles. A boy becomes a girlfriend, he wants to buy and buy in a day, there are many ** in a day, a lot of messages, if his boyfriend is late to reply to the message, he will think about all kinds of nonsense, and then use his own thoughts to question his boyfriend's loyalty.

The girl has become a boyfriend, and she stays playing games all day, and when she sees the news of her girlfriend, she chooses to ignore it for fear of disturbing the game, and she is unwilling to accompany her girlfriend to go shopping, if it is not mandatory, she wants to play games, sleep, and fool around with friends every day. After a few days of experience, they found their own problems, the boy felt that he thought too little about his girlfriend, and the girl felt that he was too strict. Their relationship is even better after this time!

Empathy is a very important step in the process of dating, if you have some differences of opinion, then change your identity, be the other person, and really feel how you think as the other person. Constant empathy can enhance mutual feelings and reduce conflicts.

Generally speaking, it is I who say that he can't empathize, not that he says I can't empathize, because I'm more sensible, after all, I'm a year older than him, so I can be said to be more mature than him. I think he's like a child, very playful, sometimes naïve, sometimes thinking too much, but bothering himself.

Whether it is between friends or lovers, we should learn to empathize, in this way, you will understand what the other party thinks, and you can better understand what he does, in fact, there are a lot of quarrels that can be avoided, sometimes I feel that he is vexatious, I don't know what he is struggling with, he has been playing temper, his mind I can't guess. Every time he is unhappy and ignores me, I am thinking, he should not be in a very good mood now, I can understand some of his actions, even if he leaves me alone and lets me go home by myself, I have nothing, even if I am unhappy, I will not radiate my negative energy to the people around me.

This is a person's cultivation, unhappy is your business, why should others put up with your anger. One time he said that I didn't empathize, and that time something happened, maybe I didn't say it very accurately, which led to his misunderstanding of what I said, so there was a contradiction. Although I'm a girl, I don't pretentious, and I don't ask for help from others when I can do things on my own, so I'm more self-reliant.

I can be strong when you're away, and I can be like a little woman when you're by my side, and that's probably love. Really, empathy is very important, maybe no one else has said about you, but in the heart of you has been hacked hundreds of times.

Then listen to your boyfriend's advice with an open mind, think more about the other party, and think more from the other person's point of view.

Then you have to learn to change positions, don't always look at what you encounter, you should look at it comprehensively, so that you will have a more comprehensive view of things.

In fact, two people should really empathize with each other, and you sometimes have to understand the conditions of your boyfriend's family life. You can't just ask for it.

You can tell your boyfriend. This may be the case with your own personality. Will try to change.