Parents, him, the future, there are many contradictions and problems

I don't think feelings should be given up because of the standards that my parents insist on, once this happened to a friend around me, I feel sorry for him, but what I want to say to you is, can you really give up the whole world because of him? Giving up your parents' feelings, giving up your own life, living in his shadow, you ask yourself, if you can do it, what if he gives up on you for other reasons in the future? Will you still be alive?

Although life is our own life, should we seek reference from our loved ones when faced with a major decision in life? You can try to let your parents know him, see what they think, and tell your own him, see his reaction, see if he is worth your effort, if he repeatedly insists on being with you, then you can change your parents' opinion of him, if it is really not possible, you have to choose yourself, in fact, loving someone to death is not necessarily happy, the real choice is still in yourself, you go to feel your heart carefully, ask what is its choice?

I hope you can have a happy life!

1. If you firmly believe that your feelings for him can stand the test, then you will do your parents' work, no matter what your parents' attitude is, you will unswervingly stand on his side;

2. If you can't guarantee that you will be together for the rest of your life, then follow the advice of your parents and be separated from him from now on.

Judging from your description, it should be your parents' problem, isn't a man with a good heart, a gentle personality, a sense of responsibility, a sense of justice, and an enterprising spirit more reliable than a man with a beautiful appearance and a tall head? If he doesn't even have a minimum sense of responsibility, no matter how beautiful he looks, what's the use of being tall?

Big brother, remember that it is you who is married, not your parents, as long as you really love him and he is sincere to you, it's OK

First, seize the time to get rid of your in-laws, you have to go into the rivers and lakes with your husband, and you want to make a fortune with your husband, which is a very crucial point.

Second, the in-laws have their own lives, and they have their own lives, so you don't have to interfere with them, as long as they feel OK.

Third, you have to understand that your husband protects his parents.

If he doesn't protect his own parents, does he protect you? The mother-son connection is unconditional, and if you deny his parents, you will deny him. We say that it depends on the owner to beat the dog, and few men have really done it, and protecting the wife is protecting the mother.

If all men have this kind of thinking, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be easy to handle. But the man doesn't have this kind of thinking, he thinks that you defile, accuse, criticize, and complain about my parents, you are actually complaining about me, and I must defend it.

Instead of thinking about whether this marriage should be killed.

Fourth, your marriage model is the model of making a book and dying, you give birth to a child, you live in your hometown with your in-laws, and your husband works outside alone, so who will satisfy his physiology? Who is his emotions full of? His grievances, his grievances, he has encountered difficulties at work, who to talk to in his heart?

You have to move from your in-laws to your husband as soon as possible, don't make excuses, you have to overcome all difficulties and reunite the husband and wife. Now is not ancient times, ancient men went out to do business, did not return home for a year and a half, and there were also room girls or concubines with him to satisfy him.

Every family faces conflicting opinions between parents and children. Here are some coping strategies:

1.Respect each other: Different people have different points of view, even if you disagree with them, respect and try to understand and accept them.

2.Topic communication style transformation: When you disagree with your parents, try to change the question from "you are wrong" to "what can I do better", use an exploratory mindset to find the best answer, and hope to reach a consensus with your parents.

3.Take the initiative to offer solutions and compromises: If you have to agree with your parents or if they are trying to balance things out by a certain behavior, you can try to offer a solution. Here there is a need for equal negotiation rather than unilateral holding of conquering power.

4.Communication Deficit Adjustment: If you find yourself at odds with your parents on a regular basis, think about whether your role has the potential to be effective in learning to negotiate with confidence.

focus on sharing ideas, listening to convey feelings, using similarities to make connections, and expressing oneself without attacking others26;

5.Seek third-party assistance: If the issue between you and your parents is very serious and cannot be resolved, then consider seeking third-party assistance. For example, pastors, psychologists, or even family lawyers.

In general, when you disagree with your parents, you should stay calm and try to communicate and explore new ideas or take the initiative to suggest adjustments, in this process, you should always follow the principles of patience, compassion and equality, and grasp the skills of self-attitude and speech to find a better way to slowly alleviate the differences and achieve a rational outcome.

In our daily life, we can see that many families often have disputes between parents and children, and these children are in the process of development, if there are often conflicts with parents, this is not conducive to the growth of children, will bring them more negative emotions, so parents must learn to guide their children, provide them with a better growth environment, do not quarrel with children in daily life, strengthen communication with each other, so as to help children's growth.

Nowadays, many parents are pampered with their children and let their children develop some bad habits. Because many families are only children, so parents are too doting on their children, never reluctant to beat, reluctant to scold, let the child develop a dependent character, if the parents do not meet the child's requirements, the child will become very angry, thus contradicting the parents, so parents should not blindly obey the child, if the child does behave well, we can carry out appropriate rewards, if the child has some bad habits, we must correct it in time.

Many parents and children lack communication, thus alienating both parties. Now the work pressure is getting bigger and bigger, many parents often go out early and return late to be busy with their work, there is not too much time to communicate with their children, and there are a lot of negative emotions at work, many parents will release this emotion on their children, if the child makes a mistake, the parents will beat and scold, which also leads to the relationship between the child and the parents is getting worse and worse, thus causing a series of conflicts and contradictions.

Many parents are very strict when it comes to educating their children. We all know that children are in adolescence, the character is very rebellious and sensitive, if the parents' education methods are too strict, it will arouse the child's rebellious psychology, so as to disagree with the parents, or even not listen to the parents at all, some children choose to run away from home in a fit of anger, so parents must learn to maintain interaction with their children, so that children will be more likely to accept the opinions and education of their parents.

This is because parents and children may spend less time together, and parents will not educate their children scientifically, and will always consider each other from their own point of view, so the contradiction is getting bigger and bigger.

The main reason is that the three views of parents and children are inconsistent, and if parents strongly ask their children to change, the contradiction with their children may become bigger.

Nowadays, many parents choose to go out to work by themselves, hand over their children to the elderly, or relatives to help take care of them, and do not really accompany their children to grow up, only caring about whether their children have enough money and whether their grades have fallen, but they ignore that their children's growth process actually needs more companionship from their parents.

Your mom and dad may not be very responsible!! But this one is not worth your nervous breakdown. After all, they are old men!

You move out if you can. There is also a very serious problem: you must know how to love others.

Otherwise, your troubles may not be solved.

According to the questions you have described, I think there should be several aspects: first, you and your father have different levels of education, you are people of two eras, naturally have different thoughts and concepts, people always like to be praised and respected, we should communicate more with our parents as children; Second, you are too self-conscious, and you should try to think about their behavior and practices from a different perspective.

In fact, we all know that our parents love us, but what they understand and express is different from what we expect. The times are different, we must understand the hearts of our parents and care more about our parents, so that everyone will get along more harmoniously!

Let your father decide for himself, and learn to take responsibility for his own actions as an adult.

Since you think that your mother is unfair, then you can take care of her in her old age.

If you don't have money, take care of yourself, and when you have money, you can that leisure.

Ninety-nine per cent of the problems faced by the poor every day are caused by lack of money.

What a small thing, but it has become like this?

I think it's better for children to interfere less in adult affairs, because adults are not children after all, and adult affairs may be fine in a few days.

And your father asked you to be a peacemaker in the middle, I don't understand.

What advice for you? Enumeration: 1Be a peacemaker 2Not a peacemaker.

If so, how? You can prove your love for each other through persuasion, actions, etc., and you can ask your father to buy flowers for your mother, etc. (free imagination).

You can show affection to your mother and be reasonable. Say that your father told you to persuade your mother, not to make you angry, afraid that you would be angry, etc.

Say that he knows that he is wrong, and you can express what your father wants to express, and you help him express it.

2 Not a peacemaker.

It's just a superficial peacemaker, and the deeper level is that you tell them about it through your own actions that you are angry with.

You can let your parents know through others that you've been having insomnia lately, not eating well, and not feeling good. Is it the reason that you two are making trouble?

Then the two of them were fine.

Take your pick.

Your father is right, you are very important in the middle, because your mother can't do anything to you, you can take some small things on yourself, don't push them on him as your father said, for example, this time, you can say, I suddenly have something on my side, I can't accompany you, let them go back first, don't focus on your father's leadership and let you go back early.

Then it's your father, let him endure your mother's menopause for a while, usually let her do more, do less things that she is unhappy about, no matter whose fault it is, there are a lot of men, apologize more, and women have to be coaxed no matter how old they are. After a lifetime of husband and wife, when your mother is calm, she will understand your father's low-profile painstaking efforts when she reflects on it.

I have carefully read your experience, your parents are the benefactors who gave birth to themselves and raised themselves, and they are also the most selfless people in the world. But I suggest you be a good child, don't quarrel with your parents and communicate with them well, there is nothing that cannot be solved, as long as you can communicate, it is not a big deal!!

Give them a wedding anniversary, reminisce about the little sweetness of the past...

Or ask your father to buy a flower for your mother.

See how you get it.

I have some suggestions for dealing with family relationships:

1. Be humble, don't be a needle to each other about everything, give each other more opportunities to talk, think more about each other, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and family affection is priceless.

2. A surprise creates a dramatic effect, and often many contradictions are lost in jokes.

3. Divide responsibilities, assume your own responsibilities and obligations, do more for the family, and think less for yourself.

4. Dualized communication, many conflicts are due to the lack of communication between family members, which exacerbates the conflicts.

5. Be open-minded, life is short, we should create a harmonious society and a harmonious family, think about everything, don't worry about everything, don't intrigue, don't be greedy, be open-minded, and be grateful to live a relaxed and happy life.

Tell them that AA couples like them make you feel that marriage is too realistic, too boring, and that living in such a home is not happy at all, and that you don't plan to get married in the future, and that you have to be a celibate, depending on what your dad does.

I think it's a good idea for them to put together the money they've earned and then discuss how to use it together.

You can't control the affairs between adults! You can only persuade separately!