What s the joke in your opinion that makes you laugh at the thought of it?

When a friend charged his mobile phone bill, he said that the last digit of the wrong mobile phone was wrong, and he paid 100 yuan for others. The buddy over there said depressedly

Brother, I don't even know what to say about you, it's the end of the year, it's all about accounts, I finally stopped the machine, and you charged me again.

There is a male colleague who is very short, and once someone politely said, "What is condensed is the essence." He misheard and said, "Yes!" Those who come from the countryside are the essence!

I'm from the countryside! At that time, he made us laugh comfortably, so that now when someone in the unit looks for him, they all ask: "Is the essence from the countryside?"

Ha ha.

Let's share a bad joke from a long time ago. A accompanied a friend to the hospital to see a doctor, and then when he left, only A asked, why didn't his friend go? A: Because friends go together for life.

When I told my daughter the story of "The Crow Drinks Water", she said: Why is the crow so stupid, it can't drink water, why doesn't it know how to suck it with a straw? She's really smart, but I can't stop laughing when I think about it.

Two shell mantis discuss welfare lottery. A said, "If I win the jackpot, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles and eat enough every day!" B said, "You are too vulgar!" If I win the jackpot, I'll make a living person and eat fresh food every day! ”

One child said, "This is my toy." "This is property law.

One child said, "You promised me." "It's contract law.

One child said, "He hit me first." "This is criminal law.

One child said, "Daddy said yes." "This is the Constitution.

Bill and Bob, sitting outside the clinic waiting for an examination.

Bill cried all the time.

Why are you crying? Bob asked.

I'm here for blood tests," Bill whimpered.

So? Are you scared? ”

Not afraid, but for a blood test, they cut my finger. ”

When Bob heard all this, he immediately began to cry.

Bill paused in surprise and asked Bob, "Why are you crying?" ”

Bob said, "I'm here for a urine test!" ”

Before the Qingming Dynasty, the school organized to sweep the curtain to the martyrs, and explained that the students had to wear school uniforms, and when the teacher saw a student, his eyes were about to explode, do you know why? This student went in filial piety clothes.

I always close my eyes when I cut the onion, thinking that it wouldn't cry, but the moment I cut it, I cried.

The one who shows love is an animal, and the loved one is a plant. If love is denied, it is of course the animal that leaves, because plants do not give birth to feet to run. Of course, plants are "ruthless".

If you want to laugh so hard that you can't stop laughing, I suggest you listen to Guo Degang's cross talk, which will definitely not disappoint you.

There was a bai man who met God one day. God suddenly had a great heart and was going to give the man a wish. God DAO asked...

Do you have any wishes within. The man thought for a moment. I heard that cats have 9 lives.

Then please give me 9 lives...God said. Your wish has come true.

One day, the man was bored ...I want to say die, forget it. Anyway, there are 9 lives, just lying on the rails...

As a result, a train drove by...The man is still dead...Why is that?

Because that train has 10 carriages...

3."A man went to Antarctica to survey penguins, and there were 100 penguins surveyed, and the man asked the first one, what do you do every day? The penguin replied, eat and sleep and kiss, he asked the second penguin, the penguin also said, eat and sleep kiss, keep asking and asking, asked the 98th, also said eat and sleep kiss, asked the 99th, the answer is to eat and sleep kiss, asked the hundredth, that one said eat and sleep!

That person was strange and asked, they all eat and sleep and kiss, why do you eat and sleep and don't kiss? The penguin cried and said, "I'm the kiss they have to do every day.""

A woman works a night shift.

Bai, a man tailgating picture.

Du plotted wrong, Zhi woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, let me come back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbing fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, nnd, they carved my name wrong......The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be a little more ......tender."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Mess with my house number! ”。The old man is rolling down the hill!

At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."

It's a bit of a joke, but it's definitely the kind you want:

One day they met God while they were shopping! They said to God that they had all died miserably, and they wanted to let them go to heaven! God reluctantly said that there were now too many occupants of heaven and it was full.

But now there is still a spot! Say, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven!

So, the first ghost began to speak....

I was a cleaner when I was alive. It's hard work! From morning to night!

One day, I was cleaning glass outside a building! It's the kind of high-altitude dangerous work that hangs outside!

On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and I fell! I thought, it's over! I'm going to die!

But survival instincts keep me scratching unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony, on the 13th floor. I thought, saved! So I wanted to climb up after I had recovered my strength!

Suddenly, someone grabbed my hand, and I fell down again! I thought, I'm really done now!

However, my life should not be decided, there is a tent under me to catch me, I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my previous life!

I want to wait for the strength to go down. Unbeknownst to me, a refrigerator fell from above and smashed me to death!

The second ghost said ......

I was a clerk when I was alive. Everything is fine, I have a wife and it's beautiful. Great figure!

But it's a bit watery. I have a slight heart condition. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it.

As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and her clothes disheveled. There must be adulterers. So I searched all over the house, in the kitchen, in the toilet, but I couldn't find it.

When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing, and I thought: Adulterer! So he took his hand.

I thought, 13th floor! Look at the fall that doesn't kill you!

As a result, when I looked, I didn't die! Caught in the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house, went into the kitchen, and found that the refrigerator was big enough, so I threw it down.

Finally stoned him to death! I was so happy! Laughing out loud.

Who knew that the heart muscle was so choked with laughter that he died laughing!

The third ghost said ......

I was a thug when I was alive, but I didn't do anything bad! One day I went to a female friend's house and hung out! Just finished running errands, her husband suddenly returned!

I've got to find a place to hide. So I searched for the kitchen and the toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in the refrigerator! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator, and he actually threw the refrigerator down from the 13th floor!

I just fell to death with a refrigerator!

Once upon a time, he was a ghost, and he died...

There are two good friends, one is called hee hee and the other is called haha. One day, Hee Hee died, haha said, "Hee Hee, you're dead."

One day, haha died, and hee said, "Haha, you're dead." "One day, both of them died, and one said:

Hee-hee-ha, you're all dead. ”