In their old age, the elderly, who are unwilling to be filial to their children, have which of the f

Today's society has been paying attention to the equality of everyone, from the psychology of the older generation, girls seem to be lower than boys, after all, the older generation's thinking is still very traditional, and it is precisely because of this thinking that girls know how to be humble, lonely, cautious, etc. when they are young. Compared with girls, patriarchal parent-child education has long made them feel cold, and there is basically no emotion to talk about with their relatives except for a layer of kinship.

This is not, the netizen's name is "Little Fox" The letter said: I am a girl, this may be the most wrong thing I have done in my life, I was born in Layue, Xintiandi is all endless white, with my life of crying, the heart of everyone in the family is mentioned in the throat, but the words of the midwife, let everyone be very disappointed, I was originally a girl. From the beginning of my understanding, there is no new clothes to cross, I have two sisters above, although their clothes and pants are not the same size as mine, my family still let me wear them, in fact, I am about the same age as my brother, but the difference is that I started to do housework at the age of eight, I remember once in winter, my mother held my little brother in the yard in the sun, but my hands were soaked in cold soap, and my mother "inspired" me to say:

Girls need to work more, and they will come to their mother-in-law's house so that they will not be blamed, I was still very young at that time, and it didn't feel like a big deal, but when I recall those things now, I feel inexplicably chilled.

I have some heartache for this girl, in fact, due to the concept of patriarchy in life, it has caused a lot of misfortune, and then caused many old people in their twilight years, basically will not accept the care of their daughters, so we must think about the misfortune caused by patriarchy, and stop the unequal treatment of girls, don't cause mental trauma to children because of your axial force.

With the expansion of social pressure today, the probability of violence in the home can be said to be very frequent, there are many ways of violence in the home, mainly including physical violence, cold violence, economic development violence, etc., this kind of violence generally occurs in the family members of the emotional life, in fact, the larger victims should be women and children. In the face of these violent personal behaviors, many women are prone to anxiety, and violence in the home will also become a shadow in their hearts, not only girls, but also children and teenagers.

If a child is in a violent family for a long time, what kind of dark psychology will he have? I think everyone has some in their hearts. In fact, the harm of domestic violence is greater sadness, that is, the destruction of the three views, the child knows everything, but at the beginning of the choice to believe and tolerate, from the moment of domestic violence gradually, the student's life will lose happiness to talk about, in the later growth process, the child will be insecure, so that life is very difficult, may be in the old age, the child has a great physical and mental damage, even can not take care of themselves, why will the management method of the elderly?

Therefore, do not let your child live in a violent family from an early age, which will undoubtedly cause pain to the child and make him anxious all the time.

One is not knowing how to respect the child's decision, the second is too strong parents, and the third is too spoiling the child.

When I was young, I was a very powerful, status, influential, idea-minded, and goal-oriented person.

When they were young, they were also very powerful, capable, very strong earning ability, and very thoughtful people.

Question 1: Parents need to pay attention to parents need to pay attention to this problem, many people do not understand this problem very well, in fact, this problem is not difficult to understand, parents have been busy since we were born, taking care of our life and study, when we start to work, after our parents retire, it seems that they feel useless.

That's why parents need to pay attention to the problem, a person doesn't think about a lot of problems when he's busy, but because he stops all of a sudden, he has time to think, and his children feel more lonely because they are not around because of work, so older parents need to pay attention.

Question 2: Are children unfilial? Many children are not unfilial, it is a problem of way, some children give money to their parents, and feel that if their parents have a good material life, their parents will be very happy, and some children choose to accompany, there is nothing wrong with the way and method, but it depends on what the elderly need more?

In fact, what the elderly need most is companionship, because only companionship can make the elderly feel not lonely, so when you think that you can use money to make the elderly feel that they can live happily in old age, you are wrong.

Question 3: How to accompany effectively? Many people don't get the word effective companionship right, either going home for a meal, or playing a ** or effective companionship. The most effective companionship is to allow the elderly to have access to your information every day, **, go home for dinner, etc.

Therefore, it is not enough to be accompanied, it is necessary to be effectively accompanied, go home to eat, talk to the elderly, and ask the elderly about the daily arrangements and situations, so that the elderly will feel that they are not lonely or lonely.

Problem summaryThe old man will feel very lonely when he is older, because his children have a life, work and their own feelings, and it is impossible to accompany the old man 24 hours a day, but as long as they understand what they should do, it will be good to treat the elderly more together, and the old man will feel at ease, the above are my personal views and thoughts, for reference only.

Because children do not have time to spend with their parents, do not buy some food for their parents, and do not honor their parents properly, parents will think that their children are unfilial.

This is because when children take care of themselves, they are always unable to obey their own will, and sometimes they will quarrel with themselves.

Because they are old and confused, their minds are not clear, and due to modern technology, there are many ways to be filial, but the concept of the elderly is still very traditional.

The times are different, take my grandmother as an example, she often used the filial piety of the old society to evaluate her children, thinking that filial piety is to eat, he should be allowed to eat his children first, eat the rest of her left, and when he is sick, he has to serve without undressing, and the old man can not refute what he said to do it immediately. As a generation, I have a profound experience, and I am often called to slip around and lack skills, and as a child, I am afraid that I don't even have a trace of my own time.

As we all know, the child's first teacher is the father and mother, most of the personal behavior of the father and mother will be imitated by the child to learn and train, if the parents are young did not do a good job of filial piety to the elderly, and even gnaw on the old people, this way has already set a very bad example for the child, so until the child grows up, naturally do not learn to be grateful. Therefore, here is an admonition to these parents who do not usually know how to be filial to the elderly, if they do not want to be filial piety when they are old, it is best to set an outstanding example for their children.

After becoming a parent and mother, they also announced that they had stepped into the team of "unsatisfactory life", and it was inevitable that too much pressure would be too much, but there were some parents and good friends who could turn this life pressure into anger, and sprinkled it on the children at home, it is very likely that the children only made a small mistake, but they will be beaten violently. It is not uncommon for parents like this to scold their children, and more importantly, they still hold the excuse of "not fighting, not succeeding", such a result can only cause the child's inner hatred of the parents to become deeper and deeper, so that until the parents are old, they can't move, and naturally they don't want to be filial to the elderly.

Parents are the people who love themselves the most in this world, which is the great truth that each of us as parents knows, but it is precisely because of this that some parents are unreservedly spoiled by their children, and this kind of pampering may become a certain kind of "poison", gradually devouring the child's heart. Many experienced people say that: The child who loved him the most in childhood is old but it is not easy to enjoy any blessings from him, but it is precisely the child who did not cherish him when he was a child.

This can show that pampering is actually a kind of damage, a child is pampered too much, it is difficult to know how to be grateful, and human nature is endless.

When you are young, you treat your children badly, disrespect your children, don't help your children, beat and scold your children, and don't take care of your children.

When they were young, they did not set a good example for their children, and they were more ruthless and ruthless when they treated their children's grandparents, they did not treat their children fairly, and they were very partial, so they were psychologically dissatisfied, and they did not instill correct concepts in their children when they were young, and did not pay attention to cultivating their morality.

When I'm older, my surname has become lonely. Fifty years later, most of them are only children. Kids run in today's fast pace and spend less time with the elderly.

In addition, the burden of children is too heavy, so I am also an old man. thinks that children will fly away when they are raised, and that unfilial piety is also a thing in love. But I don't think so, as long as the child is doing well, he is content.

On this issue, combined with what I have seen and heard over the years, I pondered for a long time before I came out of my thinking. Perhaps, has been around to take care of themselves, so easy to get do not need to cherish, and rare to come once is the same as the New Year, only once a year, people are moved, people, especially the elderly, easy to do, when you do it, who is good to you, who is not good to whom, a little unsatisfactory to the death, three days and two ends of a trouble, ten days and a half months of noisy, the essence of one cry, two troubles and three hangings is vividly expressed.

Far is close, and is enmity. There are always a lot of such old people around us, and the children around her, she always thinks that this is not good, and that is not good, but when the child appears once during the New Year's holiday, she feels very kind, saying that everything is right and doing everything is good. This kind of psychology is really unfair to the children around her.

Because we are around, we are all too familiar with each other, so everyone will see each other's strengths and weaknesses, and even have high expectations for each other. The old man hopes that the child will understand and care more about her, and the child also hopes that the old man will be less verbose and more encouraging. Everyone no longer pretends to be anything, and can say whatever they want.

The truth is always hurtful, how can people who live together have no contradictions, how can they not complain about each other. There are elderly people in the family, and they cannot do without the care of their children. Do you ever feel this way:

Before and after the saddle, he took care of the old man's children, and in the old man's opinion, he was the child who "always made me angry"; The child who is usually not around and only came back during the Spring Festival to "take a vacation" has become a "sweet and sweet".

I think the reason for this phenomenon should start from two aspects, on the one hand, parents, parents think that their children are too busy, do not have time to take care of them wholeheartedly, and they are old and weak, many things can not be completed, but there is no help from children, so they think that children have no filial piety, on the other hand, from the perspective of children, children also have to run for their own lives, can not take into account both, may sometimes ignore their parents, there is no way to help parents solve difficulties in time, Let parents feel that their children do not have great filial piety, in the face of such a situation, parents should calm down, if they need their children's help to contact their children in time, children should also take time to go back to see their parents, take their parents out to travel, see the outside world, and make their parents' old age a little happier.

Some people are already very confused, they don't have the right concept, sometimes their children are also very helpless, they also have their own lives, the pressure is very high, and there will always be places where care is not in place.

Because everyone has their own ideas, older people want to live according to their own ideas, but this idea is not necessarily right, so there will be disagreements, which will lead to the belief that children are not filial.

Because, they always feel that their children should work hard outside, rather than hindering their children's development. Let me tell you a real story. My second sister-in-law's mother was sick and hospitalized, and my second sister-in-law had the best filial piety, in addition to serving in the hospital every day, she also paid all the medical expenses in advance.

My second sister-in-law has a brother, a brother and a sister, and the eldest brother and sister-in-law have not been in contact with each other because they quarreled with their mother. This time the old woman was hospitalized, and the eldest son somehow heard about it, so he came to the hospital to visit, guess what gift he bought? A pair of liberation shoes.

That's right, it's the kind of shoes you wear at work and on the march. The reason was that the eldest son was on his way to the hospital and had a discount, so he bought it and gave it to his mother. According to my sister-in-law, at night the old woman couldn't sleep, took out the shoes under the pillow and laughed while looking at them, and kept exaggerating her son's filial piety and knowing that he bought shoes for his mother, which made my sister-in-law cry and laugh, you know, the eldest son has not been on the door for several years.

My nephew initially thought her mother was a patriarch, but the old lady started yelling that these children in the world were not good at it. It's this thing that hasn't been done well, and it's that thing that hasn't been done well, so you get the idea? Some old people find fault with their children who are waiting around them, and are better with the child who doesn't show up.

And we, as children, can't be angry with our elders yetBut to do your duty, filial piety should still be filial.

I heard a colleague say that many elderly people who are hospitalized in hospitals have a strange phenomenon. That is to say, if the elderly are sick, whether it is money or effort, many children who are really loved in life will not be able to contribute much. As the saying goes, honest people suffer, and sometimes it's really good.

Honest people often don't have so many hearts, so in front of the elderly, they can't be very popular, and they won't get a lot of benefits. People who are really flamboyant and scheming are often more likely to gain the trust of the elderly and take all the benefits.